So I saw this post on tumblr and I was inspired to write this. Can't speak for the quality (and I have no idea where the title came from), but have some ridiculous Nalu anyways! Rated T for safety (a.k.a. paranoia).

Lucy wasn't sure why she had agreed to go home with him. Sure, she considered him her best friend, but this had the potential for so many awkward situations. It was nice of him to help her pull off those godawful heels (well, more like ridiculous with both of them completely drunk and trying very hard to laugh their heads off), but then he had just left her. And now she was left sitting on his very comfortable couch alone. That was one hell of a buzzkill.

She heard the door to his room open and she turned to look, only for the giggles which had plagued the pair upon entering his home to return at the sight of Natsu in bright red pajamas covered in hot pink clouds. "What - what are those?" she managed to gasp out between fits of amusement.

He turned the most adorable pout on her. "They were a gift from Happy! And the rest of my pjs need to be washed." He muttered the last part under his breath, forcing Lucy to strain her ears to hear him. Typical of Natsu to leave laundry until the very last possible moment. She was surprised his living room was clean enough for her to see, let alone sit, on the couch. It was generally a pigsty.

Crossing the room quickly, he locked the deadbolt and the security chain before looking at her again. "I forgot to lock the door."

There was a glint in his eye which led Lucy to not believe completely in his innocence. With a sarcastic nod, she responded, drawing out the word to convey her disbelief. "Rrrriiiight."

He went back to his room, looking back at her one last time to toss a "Good night Luce!" She replied quietly, positive his slayer hearing would pick it up, before his door closed once more.

She had barely started trying to make herself comfortable on the couch before his door opened once more. This time, she was stricken with the sight of a shirtless Natsu. Somehow, he was even missing his signature scarf, an observation she filed away to analyze later as she was preoccupied with drooling over his abs.

Smirking at her blatant ogling, he made his way to the kitchen. "Gotta drink some water so I don't have a hangover in the morning."

Lucy tried, unsuccessfully, to banish the blush from her cheeks before calling out to him. "Maybe next time Fairy Tail has a party, you shouldn't try to challenge Gray to a drinking contest!"

He pouted at her once more as he trudged back to his room. "But Luuuce," he whined. "You made me promise not to destroy anything during the party, so I couldn't fight the ice princess! And then you made me promise not to sneak into your room!"

"With good reason!" she shot back. "It's weird for a guy to sleep in a girl's bed when they're just friends!"

"Whatever. Good night Luce!" Sighing out her own good night, Natsu's door closed.

Lucy was removing the nice but expensive jewelry she had worn for the formal party when the door opened a third time. Giggling softly, she turned to look only to turn beat-red and cover her eyes with her hands. The giggles continued, but took on a note of hysteria.

"There was one last thing… Right! I'm hungry!" Peaking through her fingers, Lucy got a good look at Natsu's butt as he disappeared, naked, into the kitchen again. If she was being honest with herself, it was quite a nice butt to look at. Natsu's return with a cookie in his mouth and the box held right in front of his… er, privates (because Lucy found she could not say the word, not even in her head, for fear of her head exploding from too much blushing).

"Want some?" he asked, gesturing to the box. Lucy shook her head, not trusting her voice, as her giggle problem refused to go away. He shrugged. "Your loss."

When he had reached his room, he turned to her. "If you want any, you know where they are." And the door closed again.

Without him there, Lucy managed to sober herself again. She stood up to start the difficult process of unzipping her dress, because she absolutely refused to sleep in the beautiful but uncomfortable thing. Her back was to his door, but she heard it open. By the time she had turned towards him, he was right in front of her. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her neck as he reached around to help her with getting out of the dress.

Letting go of the zipper, he took a small step back to gaze into her eyes, as if he was asking her if this is what she really wanted. He seemed satisfied with whatever he found and gently took her hand, tugging her towards his room. Lucy hoped the raging lust she was feeling was not as obvious as she believed it to be, but she saw his nostrils flare and knew the cat was out of the bag. Nothing got past a slayer's senses.

This time when the door closed, she was most definitely not alone.