A/N- This will be a short story; most likely five chapters or less. This is only my second all human story, and I am again trying something new with the third person. Feedback is always welcome.
-S.
If heaven's grief brings hell's rain
Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday
Oh, I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way
Still I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday
The icy condensation that slipped from the martini was a nice reprieve from the stuffy interior of the bar. The chosen band for the night was playing something upbeat, and loud. Bella sighed as sweaty bodies moved together in the middle of the room, keeping the temperature warm, and smelling like B.O., Chanel No. 5, and booze.
When the bartender, a tall, dark, and extremely muscular guy, sent her yet another look, bringing the tally up to seven since she had arrived twenty minutes before, she moved her eyes to her drink. Alice would pay for this. She did not want to be here. She wanted to be at home, asleep, or curled up with her cat, reading a good book. But, of course that wouldn't happen with Alice as a best friend. This time, she'd set Bella up with who she decided was the perfect guy. Yeah right. Bella didn't want perfect; in fact, she didn't want anyone.
All of her friends were so happy. For whatever reason, they had attributed their happiness to being with someone, to having a relationship. Not one of them understood Bella's independence from men. She neither wanted, nor needed them, but, sadly, regardless of that fact, Alice had her on a date with a different man every week.
Sometimes, she wondered if it would just be easier to find someone. She cringed visibly, and the bar tender, who continued to watch her, even though he was happily married, backed away, not wanting to deal with her baggage tonight. Naturally, Bella had already found someone. But, she was stupid; she made a mistake she could never undo. She was sure that, later tonight, after this date went horribly wrong, she'd fall into bed, her only nighttime companion, her Siamese Missy, curled up next to her, and she would regret.
She'd moved to the Big Apple after making the worst decision of her life. Alice, while continuously supportive, always told her to shrug it off. Bella wanted to believe her, but, what did she know? She and Rose, they had everything.
Bella had met them in college. She'd shared a couple of basics classes with Rose, and Alice was a fellow barista when she worked at Starbucks during her quest for every dime she could find. Money was hard then, and at that point, she had three part time jobs. Alice and Rose both had someone, they were lucky, in a way. Bella was always jealous, though she'd never tell. Of course, Alice and Rose knew this. Why else would they send her on so many dates?
Alice met Jasper at school. How a fashion and business student stumbled upon a computer science major, Bella will never know. They were perfect together. At one point, Bella wanted that. She wanted to be them, with someone who loved her that much holding her hand. Needless to say, it didn't last. Now, Alice and Jasper were getting married, which, coincidentally, was the reason Bella was on her fifth martini.
Rose was a different story entirely. She had changed her major so many times, that she was lucky the Hales were one of the richest families around. After meeting Bella and Alice, Rose dropped out of school. Before the year was out, she found herself training at the police academy- something Bella never saw coming.
One night, at a club, Rose ran into a bulky architect. They got to talking, and drinking, which they did a lot that night. Before anyone knew what happened, they were making out in the corner like teenagers. Against everyone's arguments, Rose married Emmett in Vegas six months later.
Bella could never have guessed that such a relationship would work out, but she'd never tell Rose something like that; especially not with her twins, Lily and Royce, in the room.
She finished off her drink, yet again, and nodded to the bar tender. Sometimes, she hated that it took her so long to get drunk. Before she could stew over the fact, an average sized blond guy tapped her on the shoulder. She was just about to tell the blue eyes to leave her to her sulking, when it became apparent that this man was her date for the evening.
He introduced himself as Mike, complimented her dress, and ordered a beer, all before she could get a word in edgewise.
The night continued on like that. They talked about meaningless things, while he was more into the conversation than she was ever willing to be. By the end of the night, she was done; she was tired, drunk, and wanted her cat more than ever before. When the food was out of the way, Mike insinuated that Bella would much prefer spending more time with him, preferably at his condo. She cursed Alice in her head, while she cursed him out loud.
The rest of her final martini ended up dripping from his head.
XxxXxxX
Bella woke up the next morning at seven thirty, the shrill ringing of her phone demanding that she answer. It took a moment for her to wipe the sleep, and tears, from her eyes. When the aggravating phone would not quiet, she declined the call, and fell against her pillow. If it was important, then they would call back later at a more reasonable time.
Besides, she was too busy feeling like crap to concentrate on a coherent conversation anyway. Why? Why did she have to have a dream like that? Given the events of the previous night, it was like her subconscious was slapping her in the face.
His wild hair dancing in the breeze.
His emerald eyes, wide with pain and betrayal.
The way his voice cracks as he tells her that he loves her, and that he wishes it were enough.
Bella shuddered as she got out of bed to start the day. It was just what he needed after a terrible date- the reminder of what she'd lost. No. What she threw away.
It wasn't her choice, she reminded herself. It was the only thing she could do on days like this. She had to leave. She couldn't stay there forever. She couldn't live in that muddy, damp hellhole any longer. It was her only choice to get away. She told him to come with her; that they could live together in New York, but he refused. It was Bella's fault anyway. It wasn't her place to ask him to leave everything he knew behind for her.
She was still hung up on this as she blankly mixed her oatmeal, suddenly not in the mood for breakfast. She briefly considered seeing if Missy would eat it, after all, the cat was eyeing her meal from the sofa, when the doorbell rang.
Without waiting for anyone to invite her in, Alice excitedly stuck her key into the lock on the door handle, and rather abruptly, barged into her friend's apartment. Her eyes swept across the room, still unhappy at Bella's choice of décor. It wasn't chic enough in her opinion.
"So," she started when she caught sight of Bella at the breakfast table, "Do you have a date for the wedding yet?"
Angrily, Bella dropped her spoon into the now half eaten bowl of mush, and stood up to dump it into the sink. She huffed as she turned to Alice, not in the mood to talk.
"Don't ever do that to me again!"
Alice jumped back, her eyes wide and fearful. She had definitely not expected this when she jumped into a taxi this morning. To be fair, she wasn't thinking much past wanting to escape the dirty old cab, but regardless, she thought her friend would hit it off.
"What happened?" she wondered sadly as she led Bella over to the couch to console her.
Reluctantly, Bella launched into the story of the blond man from the other night. Only a few minutes in, Alice could see that she had had quite a large lapse in judgment. It was obvious that Mike was not anything close to what Bella needed in a man. And yes, Alice was still adamant that Bella did deserve a man in her life, only now she wasn't so sure if she was the woman to help her. This only became more apparent as the conversation went on.
After just over a half hour, Bella had come to a startling conclusion as to the cause of her many failed dates. She turned to Alice, a look of understanding on her tear stained face. She always hated how she cried when she was angry. She furiously wiped her eyes, and tried to focus on Alice, and not the terrible thing that she had realized.
"It's him," she said quietly, more to herself than to Alice.
Alice cocked her head to the side, confused.
"Remember," she started shakily. "My ex from Washington?"
Hell yeah, Alice thought. I remember getting you shitfaced drunk for the entire month. That was how Bella and Alice had really become friends. Alice hated how sad she was, and decided to be a friend, and help Bella move on. Instead of saying what was on her mind, Alice just smiled sadly, and nodded to her.
"It wasn't like I had a choice," Bella sniffed. "I had no money. My mother said she'd pay tuition if I went to NYU and became a lawyer."
"But you're an editor for The Times." Alice reminded her, slightly confused.
"Now. I switched majors half way through freshman year, when I finally got the nerve to go against her." Bella relinquished. No one knew that she was supposed to become a lawyer. "It was my only chance to get out of that stupid little town. I begged him to come with me, but, his whole life was there."
At this point, Alice was hugging her close, running her fingers through Bella's hair, and trying to quell the guilt inside of her. She was the one who insisted that Bella find a boyfriend. She was the one who loved to flaunt her engagement ring. Hell, she was the one who was getting married in three months.
"I love him," Bella heard herself mumble. She didn't mean to say it, but they say the truth has a way of coming out. She couldn't keep this inside forever. "I never stopped. And- and if I could," she sniffled, "I'd go back right now. I don't care if I'd be trapped in Forks of all places, I don't care. I'd be a waitress at The Lodge for the rest of my life, if he was there with me."
Alice still didn't see much of a problem. "So? Go tell him that. Honestly, Bella," She thought Alice was being the slightest bit obnoxious now. "You love him. If that isn't reason enough to go to Seattle, then, I don't know what is."
"I suppose," Bella muttered after a moment of thought. "I mean, I couldn't hurt," She smiled to Alice, and then decided that she was so happy, that she might as well keep it on her face for a while. "Okay, I'll do it. I'll go online right now and buy a ticket. You don't think Angela will be mad, do you?" She asked near the end, as she searched the room for her laptop.
Alice shook her head, smiling. Angela was the sweetest boss in the world. Surly she would understand Bella taking a few days off. After all, it was in the name of true love.