I do not own Calvin & Hobbes. Bill Watterson does. There will be some actual Calvin & Hobbes strips in the story. They are worked into the story.

Chapter 1: School

Calvin's Imagination

Here's our intrepid hero on the distant planet Zwork. Trapped as a prisoner captive in a learning establishment trying to rot his brain with useless knowledge.

The Real World

Calvin, the mischievous 6-year-old boy, was sitting at his desk with nothing to do. His teacher Ms. Wormwood was explaining Integers, which Calvin knew nothing about. He was amusing himself by pretending he was his favorite astronaut hero "Spaceman Spiff". He looked at the clock. 2:53. 7 minutes left to go. Then Calvin got and idea.

Calvin's Imagination

Our hero discovers a hideous blob so monumentally stupid that it just stares straight ahead, completely unaware of anything around it. Compassionately, our hero decides to put the blob out of its misery. Spiff sets his blaster to "Liquefy".

The Real World

Susie was happily paying attention to their teacher. She was the smartest girl in the 1st grade.

Calvin had just remembered that he brought a straw to school. He tore off a bit of paper and spat it out of the straw.

Susie felt something hit the back of her net.

Calvin returned fire.

"Yuck, Gross!!!! Miss Wormwood!! Calvin's shooting spitballs!"

Calvin's Imagination

Perplexed by the blob's resilience, Spiff adds more juice and prepares to fire again as an ugly, disgusting creature sneaks up behind him. Then it struck.

The Real World

Miss Wormwood angrily stopped the lesson on integers and went over to Calvin's Desk.

"CALVIN!" she yelled.

"Huh?!" he said, startled. Then he looked like he'd seen a monster.

Calvin's Imagination

Spiff had been led into a trap! Our hero blasts the hideous looking creature that had been preaching to him.

The Real World

Ms. Wormwood got hit in the eye with Calvin's spitball. The next thing Calvin knew he was in the principle's office.

"You're back again I see" the principle said.

"What's it to you, you ugly Zworkian" Calvin proclaimed

Calvin's Imagination

Spiff has been captured and is being tortured. An evil, and even uglier creature than the other two put together is talking to him. However he is speaking in a weird language. But Spiff understands every space language known to alien. Spiff says that the creature is ugly. Now the creature is speaking in another language our hero doesn't understand.

The Real World

"CALVIN! YOU ARE STAYING AN HOUR AFTER SCHOOL IN DETENTION!"

Calvin, snapping back into reality yelled, "NOOOOO! You can't do that. Th--That's torture! I'm sure it's illegal. Call my lawyer! I want a lawyer."

Then, Calvin heard the school bell ring.

"You know Calvin," said the principle, "If you didn't use spitballs in class you could be on your way to the bus now. I'm going to call your mother and tell her you're staying an hour later so that you can stay in detention."

"I'll call the police! This is torture! I refuse to be held captivity. I'll have you on kidnapping!"

The next thing Calvin knew he was in the detention room.