You will no doubt recall the wonderfulness that was J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter". This story is no doubt very similar to hers with some brief alterations, which I feel is for the better. Please note that this probably isn't very accurate, nor do any of the characters: it all belongs to Rowling.

Also please Read and Review!

It begins in 1945, for those of you who are fangirls/boys you will know that this is year that two great wizards fought. Now on with the tale...

In 1945 a wizard with a rather ambiguous age named Dunderbore met with an old friend (whose age was also rather ambiguous) named Grandywand. Now Grandywand and Dunderbore were not very intelligent as neither of them had finished their education, but they regarded each other as very intelligent anyway.

This was the first time the two had met after a very long time and Grandywand was showing off about his new wand which was supposedly the "Elder Wand". He danced around Dunderbore waving his wand (which was a rather impressive display) but then he accidently poked Dunderbore in the eye.

Dunderbore, who became rather upset, drew his own wand, which was perfectly ordinary compared to the Elder Wand. The two wizards fought furiously, their wands clashing with dull thuds (as neither was intelligent enough to use magic they simply treated their wands as swords). Then with a ferocious crack the wands snapped.

Dunderbore and Grandywand put aside their differences for the moment and super-glued the wands back together. The end result was a misshapen gluey wand that only one person could use and they christened it:

THE NEW WAND!

Then they fought over who was the rightful owner of

THE NEW WAND

but since they could not decide peacefully, Dunderbore shoved Grandywand in a muddy hole and claimed the wand as his own. Grandywand was never seen again.

**

Many, many ambiguous years later Dunderbore set a boy named Ari Potty on a quest to defeat the supremely evil wizard Lord Baldyhead. After years of needless angst, death, girls and duels, Ari discovered that Dunderbore had lied about many things. Angry he tried to yell at Dunderbore who consequently died of a heart attack.

Then Lord Baldyhead attacked Ari using

THE NEW WAND

which he had stolen from Dunderbore's corpse. Ari gave Lord Baldyhead a hug and proclaimed "I LOVE YOU!" and Lord Baldyhead was defeated.

Ari picked up

THE NEW WAND

and tried to decide what to do with this all-powerful wand. A few hours later he had conquered the world, forced Pinny Westly into marrying him and had resurrected all his lost loved ones using a pebble.

And he was proclaimed to be "The New Most Evil Wizard in the World" and he put it all down to

THE NEW WAND.

And that is the end of the tale of

THE NEW WAND.