Yet another crazy one-shot that my overtired mind created sometime in the Ra-damned early hours of the morning! No plot whatsoever except the desire to write a Malik/Marik fic. That's right, a bit of shounen-ai fluff between two of the bishie-est characters in the entire show!

And does anyone had any information on the upcoming Yu-Gi-Oh! movie? The only information I have is that it's coming out in August, and is set after the Battle City Arc. The villain is someone who Yugi and Yami have already defeated and there's an EIGHTH MILLENNIUM ITEM!!! What the hell!?

Warnings include humorous insanity, fluff, and me-ness!

Dedicated to my hikari, on here as Reana1 *hint-hint-violent-shove* and the Malik/Marik fangirl herself, Nek0-chan! *glomps*

Read on!

Food For Thought

Marik was a whacked teenager with nothing better to do than set stray cats on fire and steal traffic signs that he would then place around his room like personal trophies.

He was extremely screwed up in the mind and had no trouble holding a conversation with a fork, though when he tried to do the same with people he had the bad habit of making them run in the opposite direction screaming.

Marik absolutely loved it when they did that. Scaring people was near the top of his fun things to do list that he casually would unroll in the middle of the street and cause oncoming cars to either swerve or stop to keep from hitting him while he read through and contemplated what he should do for the day.

A regular visitor of the local jail, he had his own cell with posters spread across it and a radio and everything. The bed even had an actual mattress instead of those spring infested things that tried to pass as a mattress in most other jail cells. Marik was proud of himself. He was on a first-name basis with absolutely every officer and chief in the building. Sadly, he never got to get to know the inmates as they always begged for a transfer whenever he was locked up for the night.

They (the inmates) complained that he was a minion of the devil. As cool as that was, Marik was somewhat disgusted. Seriously, would you like to be considered evil for something as simple as talking to the hamsters in your toilet?

At school Marik was constantly in trouble. Instead of sending him to the principal where he would start spitting on the poor guy's bald head and shining it to see of he could use it as some sort of make-shift mirror, they would simply send him home. The streets, usually.

He had no home worth mentioning, had no family, and he could give a damn less about anyone else. He acted crazy because it was a way to be noticed, and he was less likely to be sued, shot, or otherwise harmed if people thought him not all there. Insanity was just his barrier, and he settled into the role very easily. If he kept it up, in a few years he may just drive himself insane out of practice and routine.

Then the people who thought him a loony now would all have heart attacks and fall over dead at the being that would perch above their heads while they slept in an attempt to see their dreams. All in all, Marik wouldn't think it was all fun and games because he wouldn't know up from left and people from forks (not that he did now...).

Fortunately for him, fate was against him.

As it was, he was currently hedging the bushes in front of someone's house with a pair of shears that were rusted a color that looked disturbingly like blood. The inhibitors of the household locked their children inside and put their furniture in front of every opening and possible way of entering. Marik was very well known in the small town.

"Dead bodies make me happy! Mass murders make me happy!" He sang happily, lopping off a good portion of the bush. It was little surprise the owners of the house were now cowering in their basement praying and offering their souls if only the madman in front of their house would let them live.

Wiping an arm across his forehead, he took a step back and admired the hedge... or what was left of it. All of three inches emerged from the ground, the rest of the bush lying in ruins around the stems in what looked to be chaos. In Marik's mind, it was a portrait of himself. He giggled, threw the shears over his shoulder (which embedded themselves into the grass not three inches from a dogs head causing it to yelp and scamper off down the street) and made his way to the park.

He was rather interested in seeing what the squirrels had to say about the weather.

Marik was an old friend of the squirrels, and they scampered up to him every time he was present in the park, earning shocked looks from anyone who didn't have enough sense to run away. He carried around a bag of carrots that were usually reasonably fresh (and injected full of sugar and caffeine), and it was those carrots which he threw down on the grass and waited for the fighting to start.

Immediate war broke out. Squirrels were extremely dirty fighters, and Marik loved egging them on. He was interrupted from his cheering two squirrels (who had each other's tails in each others mouths and were running around in circles) by the sound of someone clearing their throat. He turned around with a snarl to damn them to the deepest depths of chocolate pudding when he caught sight of just what kind of person interrupted his conversation.

A gorgeous sexy demon stood before him, all flitting lavender eyes and shiny wheat hair and sun kissed bronze skin and glinty gold jewelry and revealing tight clothes that left nothing to the imagination. Marik grinned from his position on the ground, reaching a hand up that the stranger took and proceeded to pull him to his feet.

"I couldn't help but notice that you were alone." Was what emerged from those to die for lips, the person pointedly ignoring the chattering squirrels around his feet.

Marik simply stared, taking in the shiny gold and mischievous eyes and upturned lips. He opened his mouth to answer like the coherent being he was. Riiiight.

"Oooohhhhh! Shiiiiny!" He crooned, batting the earrings hanging from the sex god's ears. Completely focused on the reflective metal, he still couldn't help wonder with that small portion of sanity he still possessed why the stranger hadn't yet run away from his greedy hands.

A flicker of a smirk and the tanned body moved away, so that lavender eyes looked into lavender eyes. "Would you like something to eat?" He asked before his gaze was captured by the squirrels threatening his well being for causing their sugar god to forget about them. He chuckled at the irony of the situation before announcing his thoughts allowed. "I'm sure there's a place somewhere around here that would let in a couple of nuts like us."

Marik grinned and he could hear his face muscles creaking in an attempt to stretch that far. "You look delicious. Can I eat you?" He asked with all the seriousness of a person who doesn't know that some things just aren't meant to be spoken aloud or asked of people.

Marik was graced with a sunny smile that quickly broke out into light laughter. "I don't suppose you would be too disappointed if I said maybe another time? By the way, what's your name?"

Slightly put out that he wasn't allowed to taste those gorgeous eyes, he hesitated before answering. The squirrels, that is. "No, I don't have anymore. And I think you lied about tomorrow being windy, the pigs are still flying backwards."

Sad thing was, the squirrels had left when all the carrots were gone. It was just Marik and his precious molestable demon in the park now. He turned veiled eyes on his prior to being denied meal and pawed at the chains attached to his demons shirt that he must have outgrown when he was about three for how much skin it revealed.

"Yami, what do you say we go back to my house and my sister can cook us up something? Do you mind if I call you Yami?"

Marik grinned ferally and he laughed, burying his face into the soft blonde head of hair beneath his nose, the scent of desert jasmine's making him drool and want to lick his strangers hair until he could taste the sweet desert that radiated from everything about the body close to his. "Yami-me, Hikari-demon."

Hikari laughed at his new name. "Quite contradictory, don't you think?" When he received no answer he took that to mean that Yami was too caught up in rubbing the tattoos under his eyes (to see if they would come off or not) to reply.

~*~*~*~*~

Yami and his newfound toy looked all too similar for Hikari's liking. Both of them were so gorgeous that it hurt other people to stare at them for too long, and they both had lavender eyes, blonde hair, tanned skin and the same tattoos under their eyes. Hikari was starting to wonder if Yami would have the same markings on his back as he did.

He smirked a little at the prospect of getting the incubus out of his shirt so he could glimpse a look... though he might very well have his attention preoccupied with other things. His smiled slyly at his inner musings.

He was interrupted by a loud shriek. Glancing to his side, he groaned when he found Yami to be somewhere other than there. Taking off at a rather quick trot, he came upon a scene that caused him to double over in a fit of laughter.

The ice cream truck looked to have been ransacked, the contents spread across the expanse of the area in a chaotic mess that every animal within three blocks was attempting to lick up.

A man was dangling from a tree limb, clinging onto it like it was a life line and refusing to come down despite the assuring words that the person below him offered as comfort.

"Quit hiding in that tree and get down here so that I can- What are you looking at? Losing your arm only hurts for a minute!" Yami insisted, waving around an ice cream cone like it was a knife.

Managing to get a hold of himself, Hikari went over and grabbed Yami's arm, tossing the cone on the ground and dragging him in the general direction of his house. Yami pouted and made every step a struggle until Hikari finally turned to him with a look of exasperation on his face. "Look, I'm trying to be nice and all, but if you keep this up I'm going to leave you on the side of the street."

Yami growled and pounced on Hikari, sending him onto his back with the deranged man on top of him. Yami grinned and licked Hikari's hair, tasting mandarins and chocolate mousse in that golden field that grew on top of the gorgeous demons head.

Sighing, Hikari closed his eyes. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Tie me up and take me home?" Yami offered, ceasing his grooming and losing himself in the dusky eyes that snapped open mere inches from his. "I'd really like to eat your eyes now."

Startled by the forwardness that the insane angel had answered him with, he laughed. Yami tilted his head to the side, poking his finger inside Hikari's mouth and pulling the lip back to reveal perfect teeth so very sparkling white. No fangs, though.

Hikari stopped laughing and bit the finger in his mouth gently, not even getting a blink of notice though the finger was removed and occupied elsewhere, mostly with squashing the miniature elephants crawling over the Egyptians face.

"What is it with you? One moment you're partially coherent and the next you are insistent that you be allowed to scoop out my eyes and eat them like some sort of delicacy." Hikari growled, still pinned underneath the large shadow that pretended to be a man.

Yami stopped and thought about it for a moment, swimming in the pools of Hikari's eyes. His mouth stretched in a small smile and growing steadily larger until his pointed canines that could be called fangs were clearly visible. "It's not my fault, you were the one who came over to me, not the other way around."

Startled that Yami was actually speaking sanely, Hikari's mouth worked as he tried to form some sort of sentence that the demon atop him could understand. Perhaps ask what he wanted. "What's your name?" Eh, close enough.

Yami's grin widened more and Hikari idly thought that his cheeks should have torn at the seams a long time ago. "My given name is Marik, but I like Yami so much better since my precious Hikari bestowed it upon me."

"Marik? My names Malik, though in all truth I like Hikari better as well. Interesting how we look almost identical and our names are so similar?" Malik asked with a smile, only to find that Marik was watching something behind him. He followed Marik's gaze and saw a crowd of people.

He growled and attempted to remove the body above his own, without much luck. He lay back down with a groan, earning the attention of Yami, who had been up until then snarling at the onlooking people. "May I cast them into oblivion?"

Caught off guard, Hikari nodded and watched as his demon cast himself off of him and rushed at the closest person, a malicious smile plastered across his face. Yami launched himself into the air, straight at an old lady, whose eyes grew very round at the damned being flying towards her. Marik landed in front of her and with a great flourishing of his hand he pointed his finger at her chest...

And poked her. "You're it!"

She gaped at him stupidly before gathering her wits before running like an evil fluffy pink bunny was on her metaphorical tail, the rest of the people doing so as well shortly after. When the dust from the stampede had cleared there was no one on the street except for Marik and Malik, Yami and Hikari, demon and angel, incubus and faerie, dark and light, two halves of a soul finally rejoined.

Cautiously getting to his feet, Malik looked around in awe before staring at Marik with wide eyes. Yami gave him a grin and stood before him, waiting for a word from the only other soul in the world to see him as a human, as a shadow, as a demon, as something worth being noticed and appreciated for his beauty.

Hikari seemed at loss for words, so Marik spoke in his place. "I believe you wanted to take me to your place so that I could eat you?" He said with a lick of his lips and a hungry sweep of his eyes over Malik's body.

The Egyptian nodded and started to walk away, his arm slung around Yami's waist as Marik's head rested on Hikari's shoulder, staring fondly at the swinging gold earrings from his demons ear.

Upon reaching his house and walking inside the door, Malik realized exactly what Marik had said. "Now wait a minute-" He started before getting tackled to the ground from behind, his flailing leg slamming the door closed.

Yami grinned down at him. "My delicious, molestable, gorgeous Hikari-demon. Mine." Was his response before he attacked the Egyptian.

"How many times do I have to tell you-" Isis yelled as she walked into the room to hound her brother for slamming the door yet again when she suddenly stopped in front of the writhing mass of flesh blocking the doorway that was her brother and a man she had never seen before, their lips fused together.

"O-oh! I s-see we have a-a visitor!" She exclaimed before dashing out of the room when the demon atop her brother gave her a grin that threatened to steal her sanity and use it for a sleigh down a snowy slope in Hell.

It was a long time before anyone could leave the house again.

~fin~

*grins* Review!

---Jasper Sable