Okay, this is actually from my another story which is written in Finnish (She Didn't Want Me), and I just couldn't resist on writing one thing in here in English, because I just thought it was so hilarious. Maybe you don't think so, but I can't help but laugh.
So the story-plot is basically that Edward left Bella, but came back when he thought she was dead. She wasn't, but was with Jacob. Edward left them alone, but was heartbroken. But he stayed in Forks to protect them without them knowing. He didn't want to ruin their happiness. But he got a letter where it said that Jacob and Bella were married. Till that moment he had become so weak and undernourished that he could even die. He jumped off the cliff, but Jacob saved him. Edward survived, but acted insane, because he was. Jake and Bella told that Jake had imprinted to a certain girl, who was out of town. Bella still loved Edward and Edward loved her. But Edward didn't quite believe Bella.
Cullen's came back to Forks to make Edward better again. But they didn't know how and Edward was mentally and emotionally broken too. Edward is almost human, but his heart doesn't beat all the time and it's very random.
Anyway now Carlisle thinks he should get Edward to drink some blood. Human blood which has the same type that he had when he was human. Carlisle went to get the blood from the hospital, but the blood wasn't that pure. The donator had some drugs flowing through the blood. Now Edward is high.
Enjoy, even though I'm not really writing it good.
Edward was lying on his bed and Carlisle was next to him on the bed in a sitting position. "How does it feel?" Carlisle asked worried and furrowed his brows. "I feel full", Edward answered with a strained voice. He closed his eyes for a moment, but then opened them. He started staring at the ceiling and didn't say or do nothing for seven minutes, till Carlisle waved his hand in front of his eyes.
"Edward? Are you okay?" he asked. Edward's eyes focused on his. Edward got absolutely terrified and jumped off of the bed and landed on his back onto the floor. His face was full of horror. "Edward, calm down. It's me, Carlisle. Your father", Carlisle tried to calm him down. "What the hell...?" Edward mumbled. He turned around to face the door. He started looking at everything with amazement. "Wow."
Edward crawled towards the door. Carlisle had stiffened on the bed. "Eddie?" he called with a strange voice. But Edward was already on his adventure. And no one could bring him back except some good sleepy time. But he was far too excited for sleep. The world was his ouster now. Well, his house was.
Edward went downstairs. He turned his head all around with a gaze of astonishment. "Edward? Shouldn't you be resting. You don't got strength for that. Unless you think you could eat something?" Emmett said from the couch where everyone else were except Bella, who was in school.
"Food? Do we have food? Hey, hey... Do we have that chocolate cake now?" Edward asked. He definitely was stoned. "I could go get some. We don't have the ingredients right now. Or I could just get them and make it myself?" Esme suggested. She was only happy that Edward seemed to be hungry. In a way that he would actually want to satisfy his needs. He really was awfully thin now, you see.
"Man, what has got into you?" Emmett was thrilled as well, but was odd about this all. "God, I'm hungry", Edward only said and went to the kitchen. Rattling came from the fridge and Edward came back with a red apple. "Hey, if you're hungry I could go make you some real food?" Rosalie asked. "Yeah", Edward said and took a bite from the apple.
He finished his apple quickly as he didn't eat it completely. Rosalie came with a bowl of chicken stew and placed it in front of Edward, when he came into the dining room. "Thank you", he thanked with a huge smile. Rosalie smirked at him. She saw Edward's pupils had grown very large from the drug and when she exited from the room she giggled the way to Emmett's lap.
Edward couldn't quite concentrate to the food even though he felt super hungry. He wanted to see the outside world as well with his eyes full of new kind of wonder. "Jasper take me outside", Edward pleaded when he entered the living area. He looked through the window of the back-door anxiously. "Pleeeease! Take me out. I want to go out", he said with an almost whimpering tone to his voice. Jasper looked weirded, but stood up and went to his little brother. "I don't know if that's such a good idea. You might get a cold", he told him and placed his hand on Edward's shoulder in a comforting and in a controlling way. Edward started hopping a little then. "No! Lets go out! Oh please Jasper, don't be a partypooper", Edward said with a childish voice. "Fine. But lets go put some warm clothes on you then", Jasper said and went looking for sweaters and jackets.
Soon Edward was wearing four layers of sweaters under his big, warm jacket. Mintons in his hands, a long scarf around his neck and a hat on top of his head, he was definitely prepared for some good snowy time. And Jasper wasn't happy at all. He would have to endure this overly-excited, crazy Edward now and had to hear the other Cullens just laugh behind the walls. They were all staring at how Edward insisted them to make a snowman, snow angels and play snow fight. "Edward, calm down", Jasper begged when Edward started running around the yard and tripped for at least a dozen times. Jasper was afraid he might break his fragile bones or suddenly lose all the energy and pass-out.
Jasper tried to use his calming powers, but they didn't work on Edward for some reason. He was truly too enthusiastic for Jasper's gifts.
After a few hours, Bella arrived at the Cullens, and what did she see. Edward on happy-pills. They ate the chocolate cake that Esme had made. Edward couldn't finish his piece and there was a whole cake rest for Bella. Well she could bring it home for Charlie.
They all hoped Edward could keep it all in now that he had actually managed to eat something, but of course, eventually he was over the porcelain bowl. The rest of the eventful day he slept with Bella on his side clutching his tiny frame to her chest and praying to God that they will find a cure for Edward, even though Edward on drugs puts a smile on their faces too.
That didn't probably make any sense to most of you, but yeah... I thought it was kind of funny. Or at least it was in my mind, but when I put things to black and white, it seems to lose its interest. Well whatever, I'm off to bed. Bye now.