Of course it was something else he could blame on his mother.
After all, Francis could not have been any part of choosing his own name - just the christened.
That responsibility had been left up to two crazy and passionate young adults linked together by foolish romance, outlandish sex, and obligatory marriage; both of whom were probably in no way ready to be parents. Sure, Hal had a great job that put his family in a great house, but he was reckless, forgetful, and not-very-reliable; Lois was loving and good-intentioned, but of course this was her first experience as a mother, and she herself had grown up with a terrible role model. Having a baby does tend to change everything; Francis required a lot of time, money, and nerves. He had been mostly decent as a young child; that was, until his name turned into a matter.
'Francis' had just been something to respond to. He introduced himself with it again and again without thinking about it. His name didn't mean anything to him, until a neighborhood boy named Logan changed that.
"That's a stupid name!" he informed Francis, crushing him. His name was out of his control, and it didn't say anything about his true character, but there was suddenly something very wrong with Francis, in his own mind.
"I never heard your name before either," Francis told Logan, hoping to express that neither name was lesser than the other. He hoped they could be civil and friendly to each other, like good boys should be.
However, the other boy enjoyed feeling better than Francis if for even the most trivial of reasons, as did other neighborhood kids after they caught wind of Logan's notion of Francis's inferiority. Despite Francis's best efforts at camaraderie with his peers, he was mostly the subject of antagonizing among them. Some thought they were clever in calling him 'Francesca,' but at least that gave him a couple ideas.
Francis appealed to his mother, asking if they could change his name. The gist of his feedback was this: Francis, you're Francis. Get used to it; love it.
But when a shy child asked if he was the Francis everyone talked about, he asked to be known as 'Frankie.' That was cooler, right? And while several obliged to the name-change he had chosen and took to it well, he was still teased often.
So 'Frankie' developed a devious streak, which involved 'getting back' at Logan, generally disobeying everything his mother said, and getting into as much trouble as he could. Not only did this manage to free him of teasing, but it seemed to have earned him a few admirers.
There was Justin, a simple child; Ritchie, who had been a good kid but made some terrible choices for which Francis could in no way be blamed; a third boy whose birth name was forgotten after a significant head injury sustained during the group's shenanigans changed his behavior in a way that earned him the name 'Circus.'
"You the man, Frankie," Justin declared, cheering after a successful prank conceived by their decided leader.
He was fulfilled, but something was wrong. 'Frankie' didn't feel right; it seemed off. It wasn't him.
"The name's Francis," he said.
"You the man, Francis," Justin said with equal enthusiasm, and the other boys nodded.
Francis struck a heroic pose and donned an inspiring smile, standing as the boy who would become a neighborhood legend.
Naturally, Francis blamed Lois entirely for all the early hardship over his name, and saw the whole thing as a victory over her. He no longer cared for anything she said. She was a monster who couldn't hurt him anymore, although she always seemed to try hard enough. Not only that, but several years later Francis had found another way to blame Lois for her choice in baby names.
His wife Piama was pregnant with their first child, and - oh yes, due to Francis's curbing enthusiasm - they had decided to keep it. However, as far as naming the baby was concerned, Francis saw that his mother had warped his sense of normalcy, and suddenly Piama seemed to know only outrageous names that sounded like gibberish.
The names most familiar to Francis were his own name and the names of his siblings. He saw they were unusual names but realized as he had with his own name that there was nothing wrong with them. Reese was simply Reese; Malcolm was Malcolm; Dewey, Dewey. And now there was Jamie: a unisex name - Francis wondered if anything would become of that fact.
Then, while he wasn't wont to compare himself and Piama with his own parents, Francis was just fine with contrast. At least Piama and I are already married, he thought. It had been a few years, even. So if they had a son, they were safe giving him the only name Francis was comfortable considering: 'Francis,' a name tested, tried and true. Although he worried of the trouble it might bring the son he might have, he assured himself with the promise that he and Piama would be encouraging and supportive of their children for whoever they became. Even if they turned out the way he suspected Reese and Malcolm were.
For similar reasons, he figured they might name a girl 'Piama.' So in a year or so there would be a Francis or Piama Jr. running around with two of the craziest grandparents ever.
Or a 'Francisco.' That was cool, too, right?
Author's Notes: KHwhitelion and usedusernames made requests on the MitM forums for Francis angst. This is what I have for them; I hope they're happy with it. I had intended upon this being angst, but this seems to me like it turned out a lot lighter than I had imagined it would be. However, I suppose that is just the way of MitM. I would also like to thank poxmaker for giving me the idea of Francis being picked on for his name. And I realized I had sort of been on the fence about Francis, and discovered I have a real liking for him, be it for sympathy or admiration, or some other unknowable reason. But hey, he's a quirky Wilkerson; they're all awesome!