OMG I LIEK LUV JONY DEPP HES SO HOTTTTTTTT PLZ R&R MY FIC PLZ I WORKED SO HARD LOLZ!
(This is a joke. It was also written in February of this year, so is based on trailer clips, teaser pictures, and the Gene Wilder version.)
The whole world was in an uproar. The five ticket winners had been announced - Veruca, Augustus, Violet, Mike, and Charlie. Wonka bar sales had dropped by half since all the tickets had been found, though that didn't mean at all that business wasn't still booming. But apparently there'd been a problem with the printing - someone had found the SIXTH golden ticket!
The television screen showed a lovely young girl, looking to be about sixteen, with silky black hair that curled in glimmering rivulets down to the centre of her back. Her skin was as pale as a winter morning, with two perfectly rosy pink cheeks and a pouting pair of lips to match. Her eyes were a dazzling violet colour, large and endearing, her nose a perfect button. And her body...well, let us just say that there were a lot of young men tuning in to the news that evening.
She began to speak in a sweet, lilting American accent.
"I'm just so lucky. My grandmother and I called the Wonka factory, and they're going to let me come with because otherwise it wouldn't be fair. Even though there were only supposed to be five. I told Mr. Wonka I didn't mind, but he insisted that I come with. I'm the luckiest girl in the world!" At this she laughed with joy, and the TV screen turned back to the reporter.
"That was Miss Persephone Scarlett Inamorata, the legendary sixth ticket winner!"
Persephone, known as Sephie by her friends - or would be, if she had any friends, was sitting next to the rest of the children in the chilly morning air, waiting to be let into the factory. She was sitting next to Augustus. He was very fat, and his butt kept on seeping over the edge of his own seat and touching Sephie's hip. She was really grossed out.
"Excuse me," she said, looking at him and trying to be friendly as possible, "But can you keep your butt on your own chair, please?"
At this, the other children laughed, and Augustus turned a bright red colour. He pointed a fat finger at Sephie's nose and began taunting her.
"Well, at least I have a parent here! I guess yours just didn't love you enough to come with!"
Sephie was about to say something, but Charlie intervened. "Hey! Don't talk to her that way. Maybe they were just busy, okay?"
"No, actually," Sephie said, patting Charlie's knee thankfully, "They're dead. And my grandmother is too old to make the trip. So I came by myself."
"They're dead?" Charlie asked, looking suddenly very sad. Sephie gave him a fake smile.
"Don't worry, Charlie. They died a long time ago. It barely even hurts anymore." But that was a lie. It did still hurt. And what Augustus said hurt a lot, too...but she was very comforted by Charlie sticking up for her. She gave him a genuine smile, now. "Thank you for defending me, though. You're very sweet."
Charlie smiled and blushed, though Sephie wasn't sure why. Just then, though, the door to the factory opened, and a man stepped out. No one could really see him clearly at the moment, because a black top hat was covering his eyes. He seemed to be wearing a wine-coloured jacket, with black dress pants. He was carrying a colourful cane, spinning it to and fro like Charlie Chaplin.
"Children, come forward!" announced a security guard. They all stood up, and Veruca shoved to the front of the line. Sephie didn't like that girl at all - she was way too spoiled. And whiny! She shouldered her way past the crowd, stepping tall in her fur coat and shiny hair, with her rather rotund father following helplessly behind her, like a steamship being pulled by a particularly unpleasant tugboat. Sephie was last, following after little Charlie. He kept looking back at her, and smiling. She didn't know why he was smiling, but she figured it was because he was happy about getting to go into the factory. She smiled back, she was excited, too!
The gates opened, and the man introduced himself.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am Willy Wonka, and welcome to my factory. Now, you won't all be allowed in, of course, but you are welcome to stay outside and watch the smoke rise. Also, there will be a fireworks display tonight, which you are all invited to watch - " at this, a cheer rose - "From outside the factory gates." A disappointed mumbling.
Veruca muscled forward, showing Wonka her golden ticket and announcing her name. Wonka smiled at her, and his smile even seemed real - he must have been a good actor. No one would want to smile at a brat like Veruca. Along the children went, each showing their ticket and introducing themselves and their guardian. Last was Sephie.
"Hello, my dear, and what is your name?" he asked her, his brilliant blue eyes twinkling in perfect contrast to his clipped dark brown hair.
"Persephone Inamorata, Sephie for short," she answered immediately, and reached into her old, dull black wool winter coat pocket for her ticket. Suddenly her mouth dropped open - her pocket was empty!
"May I see your ticket, please?" Wonka asked her kindly. Sephie desperately searched through her jacket pockets, then the pockets in her short skirt, all to no avail. She felt tears begin welling up in her eyes.
"I-I can't find it! I must have lost it on the plane, or in the crowd...!" She continued to desperately pat herself, and there was a hurried searching in the crowd for the ticket, but after a moment, it was obvious that the ticket was long gone. "Oh, no!" Sephie wailed, as crystal tears began to fall from her glistening purple eyes. This was the worst thing that could have happened! She couldn't remember feeling this upset since her mom and dad had died. She felt like she was going to just fall over and die.
"Well..." Mr. Wonka began, not looking at all happy, "I'm afraid I really can't let you in without the ticket."
Sephie didn't want to beg...but she had to try. "I don't want to offend you, Mr. Wonka, but I really really want to go...I did have a ticket, you can ask anyone, they saw it on TV! I just must have lost it somewhere. Please, Mr. Wonka, it means everything to me! I don't even care about the lifetime supply of chocolate, just please let me come in with all of you!"
Wonka looked into the girl's face. She was very pretty, and it hurt his heart to see her looking so utterly devastated. Her big, tearful eyes begged him silently, and he could tell that she didn't really like asking favours of people. He could tell, just by looking at her, that she was a sweet girl, not at all like most of the other children he was letting in. He thought to himself, if he could let in Violet or Veruca, he could let this girl in.
"Well," he said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "Okay. I suppose so. But only because you said please," he said, pointing a purple-gloved finger at her and poking her in the nose playfully. Sephie laughed with relief and wiggled her nose because of having it poked.
"Don't you have anyone with you?"
"No, sir. My grandmother is too old to come with, and I don't have any other family. But it's all right. I'm sixteen, I can be my own parent!" She smiled bravely and laughed a little. Her laugh was contagious, like a catchy song, and soon Wonka laughed too.
"Well, that's all right, then. Let's go!" he cried, and danced off ahead of the six children and their assorted parents. Sephie walked beside Charlie and Grampa Joe, because they seemed to be the nicest people in the group.
Behind them, the huge gates clanged shut, and the crowd began to disperse.
Wonka showed them inside, where they all hung their coats up on funny hooks shaped like hands. Sephie was surprised when they turned out to actually be able to grab things. She might not have been so surprised if what they'd chosen to grab had been her coat and not her butt. She squeaked and jumped away from the wall. She could swear she heard some laughter coming from behind the wall, and glared at it. She threw her coat at it from a few feet away, and one of the hands caught it. Having circumvented that particular problem, she continued on after the crowd.
" - If you don't sign, you don't get in, I'm afraid," Wonka explained with a grim smile to the assembled children. "Certainly you understand." But no one seemed to. No one stepped forward. Wonka grimaced - or did he smirk? It was hard to tell, sometimes. "Oh dear. It seems there may be no tour."
"I can't even read the print farther down!" Violet objected. Sephie sighed, and stepped forward with a smile.
"I'll do it," she said, "I've got nothing to lose." Wonka applauded her and whooped with joy. She took up a quill, dipped it in the purple ink, and wrote her name in the proper spot. As she went to return the pen, Wonka nudged her with an elbow.
"Try the ink - it's grape." She sucked a little on the end of the quill - and it was! It tasted like real grapes, not like the icky grape flavoured things you buy in stores. She smiled to herself, and put the quill back in the vase.
"Well, if she's going to do it, then I want to!" cried Veruca, who rushed quickly forward and grabbed a quill.
"Veruca - " her father began, but she rounded on him in supreme ire.
"Don't you dare try to stop me, daddy!"
He backed down, and the girl went forward and signed. After that, everyone else did, too. Then they continued walking. Charlie reached over and squeezed Sephie's hand slightly. She looked down at him, a surprised smile on her face.
"What was that for?" she asked.
"That was really brave," Charlie said, "Being the first to sign, I mean. And you're right, what have we got to lose?"
"I want to be the first to see everything!" Veruca exclaimed. Sephie smiled sarcastically.
"That." She and Charlie both laughed, and everyone else looked at them strangely.
Wonka led them to a door that led to a very small room. Everyone squished inside, and Sephie got pushed into a corner. Mr. Wonka forced his way into the room, even into the very far corner, where he was suddenly thrown against Sephie by Mrs. Gloop. He was very warm and he smelled like chocolate, and Sephie found herself wanting to lean her head against his chest. He just made her feel that way. She realised she was blushing, and she looked up, and caught his eye briefly. She didn't notice at the time, because she quickly averted her gaze, but he was blushing, too.
But the moment was just that - only a moment, and the push and pull of children and parent eventually worked the jabbering chocolatier back to the door.
"Ah! Here is the way out!" he announced, and everyone suddenly began objecting, saying that was the way they came in. But when he opened the door, it showed a different place! Everyone was surprised, except Sephie. She figured it was probably just an elevator. Everyone was so crushed together that they wouldn't have even noticed the swooping feeling you usually get. Of course, considering who Sephie was crushed up against, she'd felt the swooping feeling, anyway.
They all filed out into a strange hallway. It got smaller as they got farther in, and soon it looked like they might all get squashed again, like in the elevator thing. But Wonka led them through another door, and suddenly Sephie saw something that she would never, ever forget.
The room was beautiful. Everything was green and beautiful. She was aware of Wonka telling them that everything was edible, and she turned to him, surprised.
"What, everything?" she asked.
"Yes, everything. Everything you see, and some of the things you don't. I recommend the mushrooms."
Immediately everyone skittered away into the expanse of the room, and even the parents were eating things. Sephie smiled and wandered off by herself, down a pathway. There were Gummi Bear trees, and little chocolate pieces lying about. Even the grass turned out to be made of sugar. Sephie felt kind of overwhelmed, and suddenly felt like she needed a drink of water from just LOOKING at all the chocolate. She laughed a little at this, and suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around, it was Mr. Wonka. He smiled at her, and she found herself smiling back.
"Oh! Mr. Wonka! You startled me," she admitted.
"Did I? I'm terribly sorry," Wonka replied, not sounding sorry at all, "I must say, I was rather surprised to find that a sixth ticket had been printed and shipped."
"So was I," Sephie agreed, "Believe me. I never expected to be here."