Here's a stupid little drunk post FANG Iggy fic. Also sort of a songfic I guess. Inspired by the song Sharpest Lives by My Chemical Romance. I do not own the song or Maximum ride, obviously James P and My chem does, so there. Also thank you for the reviews on my other song fics. I'm really into writing songfics these days. At least this one's not depressing, right?
So please R&R, Iggy might just crash on your couch if you do. If you don't like this at all please just don't review, just walk away please.
"The Sharpest Lives"
I stumbled out of the rain and onto the porch I knew so well, Dr M's old house. Max now lived there alone and attended the local university, she gave up on trying to find Fang and instead decided on waiting 20 years. I hope she's home tonight, I thought falling against the brown wood door. The others were attending boarding school in England, I was living it up alone.
I search with my finger for the doorbell, for some reason I couldn't remember the precise place it was. My brain was pounding against my scull.
"Yo Max? Open up!" I yell but my words sound slurred.
"God Iggy! It's the middle of the night!" I hear her yell from somewhere on the other side of the door. I smile inwardly at the sound of her voice.
I hear her unlock the door but I don't step away from it. The door goes open and I stumble inside.
"Iggy you smell like an alcoholic monkey threw up on you." Max says as I steady myself against the door frame.
I manage a smile for her and stumble into the house. If I remember it right the couch was 10 steps strait from the door and 2 steps right. I recall my path to the couch.
I feel Max's gaze on my back as I shuffle to the couch.
With great precision that only a blind mutant bomb maker can achieve, I fall down on the couch, legs over the side.
"I'm crashing on your couch tonight, oh and I'm s-sleeping in my clothes." I announce and hear Max walking over to the couch.
I wish I could see her face. I laugh thinking to myself.
"What have you been doing all night?" Max asks, she probably had her hands on her hips while she asked that.
"Been dancing love." I reply in a sing songy British accent.
"Are you drunk?" She asks, there's an edge to her voice.
"I suppose." I answer again in a British accent.
"Stop talking like a Brit please." She says as I hear her voice leaving the room.
"Wait!" I yell after her, sitting up in the couch again, I feel nauseous but I continue, "I feel like singing, don't you?"
I could practically sense her rolling her eyes.
"Ig, no, and I'm rolling my eyes and leaving dramatically now." She says and I could hear the smile in her voice.
I start singing anyway. To a song by My Chemical Romance.
"Well it rains and it pours
When you're out on your own
If I crash on the couch
Can I sleep in my clothes?
'Cause I've spent the night dancing
I'm drunk, I suppose
If it looks like I'm laughing
I'm really just asking to leave"
"Iggy, please stop, this is stupid." Max tries to say but I continue, adding moves I hoped fit.
"This alone, you're in time for the show
You're the one that I need
I'm the one that you loathe
You can watch me corrode like a beast in repose
'Cause I love all the poison
Away with the boys in the band"
"Ig I don't 'loathe' you, you can stop singing now." Max tries again, but I'm too into the song to understand her.
"I've really been on a bender and it shows
So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?"
"Wait what?" She sounds confused.
"Give me a shot to remember
And you can take all the pain away from me
A kiss and I will surrender
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead
A light to burn all the empires
So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be
In love with all of these vampires
So you can leave like the sane abandoned me"
"Ig, STOP. There is no chance in hell I'm going to give you a kiss! If you're going to keep singing like that I AM going to give you a shot and believe me, the sharpest lives are going to be a whole lot deadlier for you to lead. Now. Shut. The. Hell. Up. And. Sleep!" Max had her hands on my shoulders shaking me, I however continued.
"I might not be a hot vampire or emo guy but why don't you love me?" I yelled out smiling and laughing, leaving the singing for a little. Just like the song, sanity must have abandoned me.
Max didn't say anything. So I continued.
There's a place in the dark where the animals go
You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow
Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands
Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo
I put all my passion into this part and I rip my shirt off, holding an imaginary dagger in my hands I continue singing. I can't hear Max but I don't care, the passion of the song taking my mind away.
I've really been on a bender and it shows
So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?
I feel kind of light headed but really, really happy and free. I've never felt this free before!
Give me a shot to remember
And you can take all the paaaain away from meeeeee
A kiss and I will surrender
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead
A light to burn all the empires
So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and beeeeee
In love with all of these vampires
So you can leave like the sane abandoned meeeeeeee
*CLONK*
(the next morning)
"Oh God my head hurts." I start to regain consciousness. I put my hand through my hair and quickly rip my hand away. "OH GOD THAT HURTS!"
"Oh good, you're alive." Max says, she's somewhere to my right.
More cautiously I place my hand at the spot that throbbed now. It's at the back of my head, a huge bump I can't really touch.
"What happened?" I ask confused and dazed. I hear Max laughing a little.
"You were drunk."
"Oh."
"You were singing. Badly."
"Why thank you for ruining my dream of becoming a pop sensation." I say flopping back down on the couch, which ended badly and me screaming like a girl and jumping up.
"Someone had to do it." She said and I heard her leaving, I followed her footsteps to the kitchen and smelled the wonderful smell of bacon.
All was forgiven after I fried up the bacon and we ate our breakfast together. An aspirin took the throbbing and hangovering away for the moment and I enjoyed the wonderful sensation of the bacon on my tong.
A thought suddenly crosses my mind. How did I get drunk in the first place?
The end?