I started this journey because of you.
When Kimahri found the sphere of Shuyin and it found its way to me I left Besaid that day. I didn't come back until I had chased every road, discovered every connection, and realized that nothing led to you. Shuyin looked a lot like you, but he wasn't. You were nowhere to be found, and I wasn't ready to let my memories become only memories yet. I kept going even though I knew I wouldn't find you, I did it for myself. I...think you would be proud of me.
Maybe we should both let go of our past and focus more on whats to come.
Memories are nice, but that's all they are.
There's a difference between clinging to memories and just cherishing them.
When I went home to Besaid, I thought about how it was you that motivated me, that kept me strong, that helped me keep the life I have now, the life I grew up believing I had to forsake. You were criticized for wanting everything, for wanting Sin gone forever, for wanting to keep me alive, but I got what I wanted; I had a journey full of laughter.
Two years after you were gone, I had another journey full of laughter. It was different, and I missed you by my side. That's where I met him, you know. He caught my attention right away, he has...a presence, I guess you would call it. He smelled a little like gunpowder, and I could tell he was trying to mask the smell of oil and melted steel with some spice scented cologne. It didn't work. Not really.
At first I turned him down, not only because my heart was set on you, but because he seemed like trouble. I kept things that way until I decided to give up being a sphere hunter because what I was looking for couldn't ever be found. Besaid was quiet, it was the peace that I thought I wanted, but after all of that adventure, well. It just didn't feel the same.
Perhaps one day, I'll find something more precious.
I remember thinking those words when we protected Zanarkand from the tourists. I remember trying to be stronger, to force myself to not care about things that were so important to me, and I remember deciding that was wasn't right. I remember deciding to leave Besaid and look for that something precious. I remember cutting the long braid out of my hair and throwing the pieces into the sea. I remember deciding to let you be a memory, and focus more on what's to come.
When Paine, Rikku and I fought Trema, he said that the only way to transcend everything was to give up everything. I still think he's wrong. Your past isn't something to be forgotten, but it isn't something to cling to, either. I'll never regret or forget the time I spent with you. Those were some of the happiest days of my life. But, if I keep looking back, I won't be able to move forward. I don't want to become stronger, or change anymore; I just want to be myself. I wouldn't be me without you.
I remember when he told me that I seemed to have a smile just for him, and how hard my heart pounded when he told me how much he liked it.
I'll always love you, and I'll always be grateful to you. I hope I'll get to see you again, and...I think you two would get along. You don't have to worry about me, I learned not to let anyone take advantage of me again. I learned that from you, too.
The last time I saw you, I wasn't ready to say goodbye. That was pretty sudden, you know! But, it's time now. I'm going to stop recording this sphere here. Maybe I'll get to show it to you one day. Don't forget me, okay?
Thank you. Goodbye.