Disclaimer: I own nothing. The book is Steph's, and the song is called Pictures of You, made and owned by The Last Goodnight.

THIS IS ONLY MY 2ND TWILIGHT FIC!!! Some slack, please.

Jake's POV

This is the clock upon the wall
This is the story of us all
This is the first sound of a newborn child
Before he starts to crawl

I laid still on my bed, listening to the aggravating tick of the clock on my side table. I could hear Emily in the kitchen, cooking something for the pack. Whatever it was, it smelled absolutely edible—but that wasn't exactly where my mind was at the moment.

How could Bella love him? How could she need him like that? He was like her oxygen or something.

And he smelled.

I thought back. Before I became… what I was—I never had an issue with Edward. He was just like any other person… or so I thought.

This is the war that's never won
This is a soldier and his gun
This is the mother waiting by the phone
Praying for her son

I sighed, rolling over onto my stomach. It was stupid. I was in love with Bella, as was he. Yet, I knew that I didn't imprint on her. As much as my dreams prolonged that wish, and my heart beat for it; it wasn't true. I wouldn't have—couldn't have treated her like that, if I had imprinted.

This was ridiculous. Though I would never admit it, this war between werewolves and vampires was dumb. We were never going to go anywhere, us, nor them. The prejudice was too much though. Okay, yeah, they fed on animals—I shuddered—but had they ever harmed a human in all the years that they were here?

Now I knew what Bella felt like. This was a never ending war that nobody was going to win. It was just there, leaving our family and loved ones soaked with worry and fear, praying that we'd be okay.

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see

I turned over on my side, facing my table. In a small photo frame, was a picture of Bella and I that Emily had taken of us on one of the few sunny days in Forks. I had my arms wrapped around her little waist, holding her too me. She had her arms wrapped around my waist, holding me just as tightly.

I remembered that day.

After the picture had been taken, Bella and I were laughing too hard, because she couldn't get her arms around my shoulders. Silly Bella… Her eyes, were brighter, I noticed. Her smile was so wide that it could probably light up a football stadium, if needed.

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

I will admit, I tried. I tried to get Bella to realize that we would be so much better than her and that… that bloodsucker.

I was able to get Bella to breathe without him. She was able to be human without him.

But that was what we used to be.

There is a drug that cures it all
Blocked by the governmental wall
We are the scientists inside the lab
Just waiting for the call

Maybe, just maybe, if I asked Billy, we could find a way to reverse being a werewolf. Then, maybe that vamp would let me near Bella, and I could hang out with them, as I had when I was human. He wouldn't be bothered by my smell, and me, his. Then this stupid war can end!

No… that would be impossible.

And the bloodsucker probably wouldn't let me near Bella anyway, after what I did to her.

What did I do to her?! Was I kidding myself?! As I thought now… I'd been so horrible to her. As much as I cared about her, and loved her, I still treated her like that. I wasn't a friend. I was so bad.

But then again—look at what Edward did to her! Who patched her up? I did. Who made her feel human, better? Me.

This earthquake weather has got me shaking inside
I'm high up and dry

In my fantasies, I had Bella. I had her everyday. I had her coming to visit me in La Push, I had her hugging me, kissing me, holding me… but these were just my dreams, chasing after fantasy Bella. Forever… chasing after her.

Outside, I'm scared shitless. I didn't want to know when she would become one of them. I didn't want to know when they got married. It felt like I didn't even want to know her at all.

But I did.

On the inside, Bella was mine, and I was hers.

But that was just the inside.

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see

I really did go through days that I wished hadn't known her. Then everyone wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath of her. They wouldn't have to hear my lustful thoughts, my depressing dreams… I would still be me. We wouldn't be having this war at all.

But then again, after all that happened with the newborns, would Bella have survived? Would Victoria really have died?

Pictures of you
[Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

Or maybe, I really wished that Bella hadn't met Edward. What would we have been then? Would Bella and I have a chance? I could envision us ten years from now, with two kids playing, us happily married and…

Fairy Tales don't come true. In fact, fairy tales don't even exist.

But maybe, just maybe, If Edward didn't exist, Bella and I would.

Confess to me
Every secret moment
Every stolen promise you believed

But Bella had to go and try cliff-diving without me. I was just beginning to get her to open up more when he came along and ruined it all. I was beginning to find her human side. It was just beginning.

And just the end.

Of course, I didn't help any when I kept my secret from her, betrayed her, got made with her, so on and so forth. Sadly, the list goes on. I'm surprised she can even love. Yet again, she can love him, so why not me? But—I never left her, in the middle of a forest, for the dead. I did, though, tell her I'd rather see her dead than a vampire, married with him. So maybe that was just half as bad as what he did to her.

Confess to me
All that lies between us
All that lies between you and me

Maybe, if I'd just treated her better, with more car and love, would she be with me. Maybe if I had told her sooner that Edward was hiding the fact that they crossed the line, that Victoria was closer than it seemed, would she realize that I was the better choice, that I was hers.

But it's too late. Way too late for that. I found a puddle to jump in and jumped too late. It's gone. She's gone. From me, my life… my everything.

We are the boxers in the ring
We are the bells that never sing
There is a title we can't win no matter
How hard we might swing

I wish I was hers. It was in every ounce of my being. Even the pack knew. But thyey didn't fully feel what I was going through. It felt like Bella had chopped off my right arm and walked away with it.

Damn him! I threw my fist into my pillow, going through it. Shit! Emily would probably have to stitch that up. I'd have to ask her before Billy found it. I've destroyed enough, moping about Bella.

But she's destroyed my life.

Pictures of you
[Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you
Pictures of you
Pictures of me
[Of me
Remind us all of what we could have been
[Could have been

I felt a strange sensation go through my middle. It wasn't the feeling of phasing, it was… tears??

They rolled down my cheeks silently; I couldn't will myself to get too upset. I was upset enough as it was.

Pictures of you
[Pictures of you
Pictures of me
[Of me

I glared angrily at the picture of Bella and I. My fist whipped out and before I knew it, the frame was lying on the round, shattered, surrounded by bits and pieces of glass. The picture of Bella and I was laying face up, a scratch along the photo, right in between us. The glass that scratched it, lay at the bottom of the photo, sharp and cool, probably nearly cutting through the paper.

Cutting us apart, cutting our relationship in half.

Remind us all of what we could have been
[Could have been
Could have been

I gulped back my tears, gulped back my sadness. I pulled back from Bella. She wasn't here anymore. She wasn't mine, she never was mine. No matter what I could we could have been. Deep down, she was his all along, I just never realized it.

I sighed, swinging my feet over the ledge of my bed. I could live without Bella. I could live without sunshine, happiness, laughter, love. I could live without it all. So may others did, so why couldn't I.

Well… sure, that pack would be a bit confused, but they learn fast, they'll realize.

I could live without Bella…

Even if it meant feeling like I was living without my other arm.

Review…please?