HELLO I'M BACK AND ALIVE actually I was back for another fanfiction like a few days ago, BUT THIS ONE HAS CHAPTERS. :D
Anyways, this is the LAST of the series that I will post on Fanfiction. :( Sorry, guys, the series starts dealing less with the characters of the story and more with my own characters. And that's not fair for people on fanfiction. It already focuses enough on Chance.
If you still care about it, it'll still be on DeviantArt, and, if I get 15 separate people to ask for it on fanfiction, I'll post it here!
ANYWAYS…So, CHANCE IS ALIVE, but plot twist, Treep's there too!
One thing I wanted to note in particular…When I write fanfictions, I usually give them a quick run-over, and consider it okay. If there are big mistakes here or there, or sentences that don't make sense, know that most of this is raw, unedited material.
So, the sequel focuses on everyone getting back on track for all of two or so chapters, then focuses on more important things, two people chief above them!
So, sit back, and get ready for At Least He Tried!
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters mentioned. Square Enix owns them. Either that or Disney owns them.
However, I do own 'At Least He Tried', and the 'Taking Chances' Series.
I also own Cenchax/Chance, Rose, Nathan, and the briefly mentioned Darren and Treep. Any of the mentioned cannot be used without my permission.
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At Least He Tried
A Cat's Eye Fanfiction Inc. Production
Sometimes…
Even if you try you hardest…
Even if you believes with all your heart…
Even if your desire to succeed more than could can possibly imagine…
It just isn't enough.
But, hey. At least you gave it your best shot.
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Chapter 1: Reminisce
A long howl sounded off in the distance in response to his sharp whistle. His eyes were still damp with tears, and the dull look in his eyes had yet to fade, he noticed. But, he was looking livelier as the thundering footsteps of some creature galloped closer. Behind him, all but a slate-haired boy was in some sort of panicked trance, where despite the fact that they wanted to run more than anything, they remained rooted in place by curiosity.
Suddenly, crashing out of the undergrowth, bolted a pale-colored beast, with no eyes, a strange spike pattern, and a silver mask. It charged a few steps, then skidded to a stop. Behind him, he sensed his brother sucking in a breath, summoning his weapon. He held a hand up to his brother, and murmured, "No. Don't. It's okay…" Surprise rippled briefly across the brunette's face, but the silver key soon vanished from his hand. He still stood in a position where he could rush at the creature with everything he had.
The creature seemed to be taking in the one who stood in front of everyone else; the one who had whistled for it. The creature's mouth opened, revealing that the stitches pattern was merely for show, and it took in a breath of air, as though to assure himself that the boy with the one-of-a-kind scruffy hair was really who he looked like. The teenager in front stretched his arms wide, called out, "Oh, come on, Nathan; don't tell me you can't tell it's me, dude!"
The creature jumped, slightly startled, and, had it had eyes; it appeared he would've been staring at the teenager who called out. A few moments later, the creature seemed to grin, letting out a roar of triumph. He threw himself forward, bounding his way up the hill, his black tongue streaming out behind him. All but three people backed away, a few of them letting out small sounds of terror. The only two who didn't kept their distance, but didn't move from their spot.
The thing bounded across the valley, up the steep hill, and flew straight over to the boy, almost knocking him right off his feet. The black-haired teenager laughed, and stroked the beast as it began nuzzling him, letting out a sound similar to a cat's purr, but was far too rough to be so. Everyone else watched with mixed reactions.
"Aw, Nathan, I missed you too, buddy…!" the teen murmured, resting his head against the beasts, holding its gigantic jaw in the palm of his hands. He was smiling fully again, and almost looked like his old self. It made his heart swell to see that, maybe, just maybe, the teen was…
He shook his head, frowning slightly. No. He had heard what he had said. He couldn't let himself be deceived. The last time he had done that, he lost the teenager. He wouldn't make that mistake again.
After the beast—who the black-haired boy referred to as Nathan—had finally finished nuzzling the boy in the strange coat, he and the slate-haired boy (both wearing coats identical to the one the other teen was wearing) stepped forward, gazing at the beast.
"I missed you, Nathan…" he muttered, lifting his hand to stroke the beast's neck. It snorted, but didn't protest, and its feelers tickled his body in a show just short of affection.
"Welcome back…" the slate-haired boy put in, curt, but with a warm voice.
"Um…Cenchax?" the brunette who had summoned the large key ventured, taking a step forward. The black-haired teen looked over at him. "What…What is that thing?"
Cenchax smirked, and walked beside Nathan, putting a hand on the serpent-like monster's wither. "Don't worry; he wouldn't hurt a fly if I told him not to…" Stroking the beast fondly, he looked up at it, continuing, "This is Sir Nathanial Periwinkle. Back when I was in the Organization, he was my Nobody pet. Only reason he's probably still alive was because he's also technically alive, like you and me…"
"But…why does he look familiar?" the brunette ventured. When everyone looked over at him, confused, Sora added, "I mean, I feel like I've met him somewhere…"
The beast finally turned its head to the brunette, gazing intently at the boy. He stiffened, and let out a low growl, snaking his head down low. The blue-eyed teenager leaned back in fear, sucking in another breath. Cenchax pat Nathan a few times on the shoulder to attempt and relax the beast.
"Relax, big fella…" he murmured soothingly. "Sora's our friend now…" Nathan snorted, but relaxed his muscles, and stood tall again, gazing down at Sora as though he were analyzing a mildly-interesting underclassman. Turning to Sora, Cenchax explained, "You probably don't remember it, because it's tied to your memories from Castle Oblivion…"
"But I don't remember those!" Sora whined. "Namine still can't get those back for me!"
"Exactly." Cenchax's eyes grew soft, and he explained, "I was the first one you attacked on your way to the Castle, dude, and I had Nathan come in to try and beat you…"
Sora's eyes widened, jaw dropping down. Misery lit up his eyes. "S-So, I…I…I was the one who…!"
Cenchax shook his head, chuckling bitterly. "No, Sora, you beat me, but you didn't kill me…" He was hiding something—something that made him wince just to see Cenchax bring up—but his dull eyes refused to tell the tale to anyone. Sora looked like he was about to say something, but thought better than to, and simply kept a wary eye on the beast. It took a few steps forward and gave Sora a good sniff over. He then snorted, and stepped back, nodding to Sora in approval. Sora's fears were slightly alleviated, but they didn't completely vanish.
(Author's Note: Nathan WAS in the final battle, but only in the Author's version. Reason being that Nathan was created after 'I'll Never Be Enough' was written, and writing in a whole new character would not only have made the story longer, but more complicated. Besides, he's only there to be an extra character; not too major, but not minor enough to be deserve to be forgotten in the sequels.)
"So, now that we know that Nathan is okay," a dirty blonde girl towards the back said, deciding to put her two-cents in. "I think we should head back." Glancing over at the Keyblade Master, she finished, "We have to meet up with the King to arrange patrols around our school course." She looked over at Cenchax, and added, "And we need to get your registered at the DTBS so you can start this semester to!" She smiled, closing her eyes and turning her head to the side. "I'm sure they won't deny the perfect behaving Cenchax Logan into—!"
"Chance Logan."
The area went silent, and everyone's face turned to the black-haired boy who had stated the name so seriously. The solemn look on his face was far deeper than anyone could fathom.
"Chance?" she asked. Her eyes widened, and she exclaimed, "Your Somebody name?"
The teenager nodded. "Cenchax was just my Organization name. I know that everyone else grew attached to theirs," he said, acknowledging the two to his side with two nods of his head. "Either that, or keeping their name was more convenient. But, I never really let go of my real name." He turned his head sideways and murmured something under his breath. He felt like he wasn't meant to hear what Cenchax was saying, but he managed to pick up, "…it's pretty much all I have left from my parents…" His stomach lurked in sympathy and sadness to behold the usually jolly boy looking so glum.
He was going to have to start getting used to his mood swings again, wasn't he?
"Okay, so, you just want to be…"
"Chance Logan," he affirmed, nodding his head. "I can take Cenchax as my middle name, and I'll still respond to that…But that's not my name. My name is Chance," he ended with, confidence lining his voice.
The slate-haired boy beside him sighed in aggravation. "That's going to take some adjusting to…" he groaned. Chance laughed at him.
"Oh, Zexion, at least I'm not saying you can't call me Cenchax, dude!" he exclaimed, patting the gray-eyed boy on the shoulder. Pausing, he added, "And I expect you to be screwing up still for several months!"
"HEY!" With that, Zexion made a lunge at Chance, who dodged with ease, chuckling to himself. The short teen began to chase Chance around, ignoring everyone laughing as Chance's far-longer strides outran his own.
"Hey, Roxas, was it ALWAYS like this in the Organization?" The blonde turned to see his brother snickering at the scene, the question still on his face. Roxas let out a small laugh.
"Yeah, pretty much all the time."
Or, usually, at least.
He tried to block out of his mind—at least for the moment—all of the nights he had laid awake listening to the boy's supposedly silent crying. Or the nights where he'd lay awake, wondering if Cenchax—no, Chance—whether he was doing the same. He attempted not to remember the times Chance had sobbed his eyes out in his arms, like the mocha-eyed boy had just done yesterday. And he really didn't want the imagery of Chance's slashed wrists, the sight of his broken body after he had fallen off that building, the bloodstains on the covered side of his face…
He just wanted to remember this Chance, running around, bright, happy, unaffected by anything. Couldn't he have that? Couldn't Chance be okay?
"Alright, you goofs, we gotta get back soon!" the girl exclaimed, bounding off into the woods, in the general direction of the nearby town. "Sora, you told Riku we'd be back in a half hour, and it's almost been forty-five minutes!"
Sora groaned, bolting after her. "He's going to have a fit again…!"
Zexion and Chance began to walk, but before they could, Roxas snatched Zexion's arm, feigning a mirthful smile. Both teens looked back at him in surprise. "You guys go ahead! We'll catch up later!" When Chance cocked his head to the side—Roxas ignored the jump in his stomach—he added, "It's about a patrol."
"Oh…" Chance muttered, realization crossing his face. Nodding with a small grin on his face, he trotted off after the rest of them. Nathan followed him like a shadow, letting out a little sound of happiness every once in a while.
Zexion turned back to Roxas, confused. "Roxas, we're not on any patrols tonight…We don't even have scouting duty…" His gaze intensified as he continued, "Why did you lie to Chance?"
Roxas turned away, taking the smile off of his face. He turned from Zexion, gripping his arms with his hands, and looking up at the sky. The sun had set rather low in the sky, giving the world around them a strange, orange-amber glow. The rays glittered as they reflected off of the tears welling up in Roxas's eyes.
"Zexion…What are we going to do?"
He didn't need to see Zexion's reaction to know that the teen was taken aback. "Do?"
"About Cen…Chance."
"Oh…" Roxas could identify the emotion Zexion's tone portrayed; defeat. He could tell that the slate-haired boy hadn't the faintest clue what they should do either. Footsteps started, stopping right behind his back, and a hand rested on his shoulder. "Roxas, there are so many things we tried…We tried talking to him, listening to him, begging, leaving him be…" He shook his head. "What else can we do?"
"I don't know…But if Chance isn't getting better, we're not trying hard enough…" Roxas whispered, ducking his head further and further down. He bit down on his lower lip, trying to keep his cries in.
"Roxas?"
"WHY?" It couldn't be contained any longer. He whipped around and threw his arms around Zexion, digging his head into his superior's chest. The tears wouldn't stop flowing from his eyes, and his breathing quickened, the occasional sob hiccupping out. Zexion tensed up, almost leaping out of the boy's range.
"Why does this keep happening?" Roxas cried out. "We get Chance back, the REAL Chance, the one we should've known to begin with…Only to have him taken away!"
Zexion, after much hesitation, slowly wrapped his arms around the boy, stroking his hair in a soothing fashion. He had no idea why the blonde was so clingy, nor did he have any idea where these spurs of affection came from. He wasn't even sure why Roxas began running to him in his time of need, when he was going to break down, rather than Axel. But, what he did know was that Roxas needed someone. And even if Zexion wasn't that someone, he would have to do.
"Roxas, I would give up everything to keep him the way he used to be, before all that shit happened in his life, before we met him…I would…" Empty words did nothing. Even if he would, what could he do?
It had been a day since the boy had come back from practically the dead.
And now Chance's main goal was to go back from whence he came.
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'Dear diary.
Wow. It's been a while since I've written in you like this.' He paused, putting his pen aside for the moment. He looked around his room; it was just the way he had left it, over a year ago. Same furniture, same curtains, same walls…same bloodstains. Plus a few new ones. Memories flooded over him—sharper now that he could actually feel. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, then pulling it out, remembering that his wrists were still dripping. He made a mental note to wash it out later. He wasn't squeamish around blood, but he hated it in his hair; it was already messy enough, and with enough strange colors.
He picked up his pen again. 'I can't even begin to write what happened…I must've written in you the day I…well, technically, the day I died…I've wrote some poems since then, and an entry or two, but no entries like this in a while…'
The memories of that night came crashing down; strange, black creatures with emotionless eyes, pursuing him through a dark forest not far from his home. He shook himself, and returned to his journal.
'It would take several decades to write everything that happened; I might as well write a memoir. But, for the sake of time, and for the sake of escaping…the truth for a few more seconds, I think a summary will be fine.'
He ran over all of his memories from the past year—almost two years now, he realized with a small jolt.
'I died. I joined an Organization, whose goal was to collect hearts and make the heart of all worlds—Kingdom Hearts. I met some really cool people, and I made twelve new friends…'
He almost scribbled out the world 'twelve' and wrote 'thirteen' instead, but hesitated. His face heated slightly, and a small blush covered his face, accompanied by the smallest of grins.
'I…fell in love. I met the nicest, sweetest boy, and I fell for him.' He grit his teeth, pausing for a moment. He continued, 'Too late, I'd realize this was a mistake.'
What else had happened? He ran through more Organization XIII memories. His pen returned to the paper a moment later, the deep red ink smoothly flowing across the lines.
'I learned, I went on missions, I kissed that boy I fell for…I found powers in my I never knew I had, and…' He had to stop here. He could continue later, but…He had to stop here. He placed his pen beside him calmly; his eye stretched out as far as it could go; only expressing a portion of his torment. He curled up into a tight ball on the floor, rocking slightly back and forth. He was too far in to shove the memory away, so he let it wash over him, moaning as he remembered in vague flashes what had happened that night. The zippers slowly traveling down, the taste of someone else's mouth, the horrible words he had uttered, the confession…
"I'm sorry…" he hissed under his breath. The warm tears slid down his face, across his lips, over his unseeing eye. He winced as the slightly salty water drops ran across the open wounds on his face, but he didn't attempt to stop them. He just pressed his bleeding wrists closer to his body, almost willing them to bleed out more, until he became too weak to fight off death any longer.
Not that he was trying to fight it off in the first place.
Finally, he sat back up, wiping away the blood and tears where he could, only to make worse of a mess all over himself. He would definitely need a shower. Pushing that note aside, the black-haired boy lifted he pen again, and wrote with pauses, 'I…I tried to rape him. I didn't get away with it…But I still tried…' He shivered, pushing those memories aside for the moment to make room for new ones.
'I tried to kill myself, but that's nothing new. I officially confessed to him, and I guess I wasn't exactly rejected. That's some-what of a plus, I guess…holidays passed, more drama ensued, I made more stupid mistakes…I came so close to dying, but never did.' The sigh returned. He couldn't do anything right. Ever.
'I needed something I could never have, I reached for goals I had to achieve…and I screwed up big-time. I failed an essential mission, and thought I needed to be punished for it.'
He could remember Sora's every word, his every movement, every swing of his Kamisori, every haul of the boy's Keyblade, his two friends backing him up, Nathan roaring in frustration…
'So…I finally managed to kill myself.' He could feel the blade slicing through is abdomen, hear the rush of the winds, the screaming of hundreds of people he didn't know, the thunder of the truck, the blaring of its horn…It was like it had happened yesterday.
'Of course, like every other time I tried to die and thought I succeeded, I didn't remain dead for long. Made a new record though; a year and a half, give or take.'
He couldn't help but smile at the remembrance of his first waking moments. Roxas and Zexion bent over him, care shining in their eyes, the pain lifted somewhat off his shoulders…He chuckled. For a few moments, at that moment, he had almost convinced himself that things would be alright.
'Looking back with my new opinions on everything, it was a spur of the moment decision, and I almost regret it.' As he continued to write, he felt the grin slip off his face, and his pen travelling slower and slower, almost reluctantly. He finally ended the entry with a single word.
'Almost.'
Okay, now he HAD to stop. For the evening, at the very least. He couldn't write about what he had seen yesterday, the events that had taken place. A muffled sob tried to worm its way out of his chest, and after several more attempts, he allowed the misery to take him over.
"Treep…" Such a simple name. Strange, unique, bizarre…And one that caused Chance more pain than he had ever openly admitted. He stared out his window, looking up at the eternally black sky.
He remembered the tan-skinned boy the first day he had met him; when he was younger, and his temper had been at the average level of a ten-year-old. He remembered that he had just begun to question his sexuality then, and the sight of the scruffy-looking, broad-shouldered boy had made him completely sure. He remembered Darren running up to him, tugging his hand, and introducing him. He briefly passed over memories of sleep-overs, butterfly catching, holding hands, a few nights when they had gone out to catch fireflies…He remembered the dreamy gazes he had sent towards the boy when he felt like he wasn't looking, the mooning after him, the careful manner which he hid his secret. He even remembered times where he believed the other boy was falling for him; kissing a few cuts to make them feel better, hugging him tighter than Chance had thought was right, even a few times when they had blushed when they got too close.
As the years went by, though, the brown-haired boy had hardened, his temper rising, and the caring moments with him becoming less and less. It started with a hand tugged away, apologies for getting too close, and the slow decrease of hugs. Then Chance started getting the cold shoulders, and the lively green and blue eyes turned stony, glaring at him every time he passed. Chance got into the habit of ducking his head every time he past the boy in school, a light blush on his face.
Then everyone started dating, and the brown-haired boy was not to be left behind. When he had his first girlfriend, Chance remembered running home crying. It must've been when he was thirteen, or even twelve. He couldn't remember all that well. But what he did remember was it was the first day he had the courage to bring a razor to his wrists. It still surprised him how little he had cared about what his friends said. Ignoring all their questions, he tried to make them forget about his cuts and focus on feigning the happy-go-lucky teen, buying his armbands, joining the sports teams, hardly even reacting when he found out his love had lost his virginity.
And then…Then there was the day he had confessed to the teen. The day he was rejected, the day he first tried to die, the day he disappeared from everyone's lives.
He thought he had left everything behind. Apparently not.
Just yesterday, he had seen Treep again.
And what was worst?
He had nowhere to go. He was stuck. What little money he had left wasn't enough to pay for an apartment. He didn't know Destiny Town, and getting a job at the beginning of a semester would be too difficult. And it would be too cruel to leave Roxas and Zexion now, not to mention the rest of the Organization. They were the closest thing he had to family right now…
He was stuck in Destiny Town, with Rose, Darren, Sora, Roxas, Zexion…And Treep.
He lay on the floor, closing his eyes, half-hoping that he would fall asleep and keep bleeding, never waking again. Tears streamed down his cheeks, spreading across the carpet almost as fast as the blood seeped through.
"I never wanted to be a burden…" he muttered through gritted teeth. "I wanted to relieve you of yours…And I TRIED to leave…I tried, Treep, I tried…"
He grabbed onto his shoulders, curling himself up, his brow furrowing as the torment crashed over him.
"I love you so fucking much…" he coughed, the tears slipping into his mouth. "I'd never do anything you didn't want me to…" He relaxed, sighing. "I know I don't deserve you. I'm so weak…"
How long he lay there, just repeating that over and over again in his head, he hadn't the faintest clue. Probably hardly even five minutes, even though it had felt like an eternity.
But he finally stood up, breathing heavily, his eyes too dried up to continue crying. His throat was parched, causing him to wince in pain every time he took a breath. He finally stood himself up, forcing himself to stand when his legs felt like they would cave underneath him.
"I never was enough, I never am enough, and I'll never be enough," he breathed, his voice raspy. He looked through his room one last time, just to be sure he had gathered everything he had needed. Finally, he wiped his hand across the page on his journal, just to be sure the blood had dried. He flipped it closed, gathered his pens, and looked down at the cup. Sighing, he took a brief trip to the bathroom and poured it down the toilet, careful not to let it stain the porcelain bowl. He tossed the paper cup away, and returned to his room. He picked up his pens and his notebook, put them in the suitcase, and walked to his door, rolling it behind him. He could just send himself off any time he wanted, but he wanted it to feel like he was really leaving.
He paused, just before he left, and looked at the floor. He slowly brought his gaze back to his room. The drawers of the desks were empty, the beds stripped, the curtains gone, and everything he had a personal attachment to was coming with him.
Even so, he understood that he was still leaving behind more than a room and furniture. He was leaving a time where he was so close to being stable again. The closest he had been in years. He could confidently say that he had been happier during his time in the Organization than he had been on his own. Even if he had tried to kill himself still, even if he had cut, even if he was still depressed, it had been so nice to live with friends again. And he still would.
But everything would be different.
Treep, I promise…No one was here. He had nothing to fear. Still, he kept his voice no louder than a whisper as he spoke, and it wasn't because his throat was raw.
"Treep, wherever you are…I promise never to bother you again. I promise to stay out of your life as much as I can. I promise, as soon as I can, I'll leave forever. I won't let myself get away with surviving to be your burden."
Blinking, he realized he was still in his former room, with friends waiting for him worlds away. He gave it one last fond look before speaking, louder this time.
"Goodbye, Organization XIII." He began to close the door. "I can't say I'm happy leaving you behind."
The door closed. A bright flash of light illuminated the dark halls. It dimmed away, and Chance was gone.
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Yeah, Nathan's more of a side-character, and won't show up too much. Unfortunately. I love that serpent-dragon-dog-thing, but the series focuses more on PEOPLE.
Recap: Back alive, everyone is, and Cenchax has decided to cling onto his old name, more for emotional than for convenient reasons. And everyone gets all angsty. Well, that's to be expected.
A little more on the series in general while I'm rambling: It's got a lot of needless chapters that are there for reasons which, if I told you, would ruin the plot.
And there's a HUGE plot point that happens SUDDENLY, and it could almost be called TOO sudden, if that wasn't what I was going for. Luckily, in this case, I did. :3
And, if you aren't sick of this already, you can find out what that plot twist is!
~Cat's Eye