ANNIE
DISINTEGRATION
CHAPTER 1
Here we begin season 5 right where they began…with Grow. This chapter starts just before the episode and continues on through. We will be switching back and forth between Bobby and Annie, and Mike and Sarah.
Thank you to my beta, Spook. And thank you to Judyg for the idea for the title.
Annie was breathing hard as she rounded the end of the high school football field on her last lap. It was August and still warm in the early evening. Sandy ran joyously ahead of her, barking and occasionally racing across the field after the birds that kept landing, looking for worms in the grass. There was a time when Bobby would have been with her, laughing as he jogged past her fast walk, with the children running around them or flopping on the grass to wait for them to finish. But running was out of the question for Bobby's knee these days. Occasionally he would join her on her walk, but usually he stayed home with the children.
He had gained quite a bit of weight in the year since injuring his knee and she knew that made it more difficult for him to get out and exercise. She doubted that he was even using the treadmill in his office very often. It was a vicious cycle; the knee injury made exercise painful, so he exercised less, which led to gaining weight, which made his knee hurt more, which made it difficult to exercise. It hadn't affected Annie's desire to have sex, but it seemed to make him reluctant. She wanted to talk to him about it, reassure him that she found him attractive. But she didn't know how to bring it up, and so she settled for simply trying to show him how she felt. His birthday was coming up later in the month. He would be forty-four, and she would follow him a couple of months later. She had joked with him that she resented him dragging her along behind him into their forties.
She finished her last lap and called to Sandy as she headed for the car. Back at the house, the boys were engrossed in a video game. When she finally got their attention long enough to ask where Ally and Bobby were, they told her Ally had gone out to the playhouse to read because she complained they were being too loud. They thought Daddy was in his office. Annie headed upstairs for a shower before starting dinner and was startled to find Bobby in the bedroom.
"The boys said you were in your office," she told him, a bit breathlessly. She was amazed that after nearly fourteen years of marriage, his smile was just as devastating as the first time she met him.
"Well, when they are playing games, I doubt that they would notice if I left the house….or if I brought a pony into the living room."
She laughed and Bobby reached out to pull her into his arms. She tried to move away, but he didn't release her.
"I'm all sweaty and smelly," she exclaimed. "Let me take a shower before you kiss me."
He ignored her protests and captured her mouth with his, while pulling her onto the bed. She giggled and squirmed as his hands slipped under her shirt and began to explore.
"The kids are just downstairs," she gasped.
He grinned down at her. "Ally's nose is in a book and Phillip and Andrew are being hypnotized by their video games. We've got time."
The giggling stopped when he began pulling her clothes off. Afterwards they showered together and dressed, going downstairs to find all three children still engaged in their respective activities. They vetoed votes for the boys to have dinner in front of the TV and for Ally to take her plate out to the playhouse.
Sitting at the table, Annie watched her family. Bobby and Ally were having an animated discussion about the book she was reading, while Phillip and Andrew were poking one another under the table and trying to sneak bites to Sandy. It was all so beautifully perfect that she couldn't breathe for a moment. Bobby glanced up and caught the gleam of tears in her eyes. He smiled that same devastating smile before going back to his conversation with Ally.
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Bobby lay awake with Annie curled up against him, fast asleep. Although they had engaged in a "quickie" after Annie returned from her walk, when he came to bed very late that night she had rolled towards him and whispered, "Speak German to me, Bobby." This was Annie's code for wanting to make love. He found it amusing that she found his German so sexy, although she had no idea what he was saying. He had joked more than once that for all she knew he could be reciting the shopping list. He had even tested his theory on a few occasions and it was true; it didn't matter if he was making up inane sentences, telling her how beautiful she was, or even using the dirty words he had learned…she found it all stimulating. She just laughed and said it was the sound of his voice forming the words that was so enticing to her.
He envied her ability to fall asleep quickly and soundly at almost any time of day or night. When she was pregnant with Ally, her family had joked that he would need to be the one getting up with the baby in the middle of the night because Annie slept so soundly that she would never hear the baby cry. That had turned out not to be true. She still slept soundly (and as often as possible), but from the moment Ally was born, her children's cries or voices were the one thing guaranteed to awaken her instantly.
Bobby was wide awake tonight and knew it was unlikely that he would get much more than an hour or two of dozing in. He was tempted to get up and go downstairs to read, but he was reluctant to move or reposition his sleeping wife. So he stayed where he was, enjoying the feel of her limp body against him. He was well aware of the changes in his body over the last year and knew that Annie must be aware of them as well. But it didn't seem to have affected her libido at all. He smiled as that thought came to him. Her face was so open and expressive that he had always been able to tell what she was thinking. When he caught her watching him these days, her face only showed….desire.
He missed talking to Annie, really talking to her. He wanted to tell her that Frank had contacted him, asking for money. He was gambling again…and probably using as well. Bobby didn't ask this time, simply told him he couldn't help him. So Frank went to their mother and she had asked, begged, him to help Frank. When he refused, she became angry and now barely spoke to him when he visited. This was exactly the kind of situation that Annie had always been so good at diffusing. But to talk to her now would only cause her to want to "fix" it, and he knew that she couldn't. Not anymore, not the way his mother felt about her. It was better to just keep quiet about the whole thing.
Mom at least managed not to argue with him in front of the children. She talked to them and seemed to enjoy having them visit. He wondered if they picked up on the tension. Probably. He wondered if they said anything to their mother about Grandma being mad at Daddy. Probably not. They knew the situation between their grandmother and their mother; he doubted that they ever talked about their visits with their mother.
He sighed. He had grown up being careful about what he said and to whom. Mention his father to his mother and she flew into a rage that often ended with him crawling around on the floor, looking for imaginary bugs. Mention his mother to his father and there would be a tirade about how crazy she was. This wasn't the kind of childhood he wanted for his own children…always measuring what they could say, always trying to protect one parent or the other.
His silence about his mother and his brother had begun to bleed over into a reluctance to talk to Annie about his work, something else he missed. Just as he and Eames used one another as sounding boards for evidence and information, working through to find the clues that would lead to an arrest, he had always used Annie as a sounding board to work through the emotional impact of so many of their cases. But since a lot of that was related to his childhood and his relationships with his family, it was just easier not to bring it up at all.
Annie murmured softly in her sleep, shifting slightly. He threaded his fingers through her long, blonde hair and let the strands slip through, relishing the silken feel as they slid against his skin. People seemed to think he was such an expert in human behavior, but he had no answers for his own marriage, his own family. One thing he understood, though; he loved this woman sleeping in his arms and he had no doubt about her love for him. Was the song right, he wondered. Is love all we need? He chuckled suddenly and Annie stirred again, then settled back to sleep. I must be tired if I'm looking to the Beatles for advice. He pulled Annie closer and buried his face in her hair. Closing his eyes, he pushed away his worries and disturbing thoughts and drifted to sleep thinking only about Annie.
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"So are you nervous," Sarah asked.
"Nah…" Sarah smiled and Mike grinned at her and gave a slight shrug. "Maybe just a little."
They were waiting for the waitress to bring their breakfast orders. Sarah had insisted on taking him to breakfast on his first day at Major Case. She dropped Jia Li at her mother's earlier than usual and met Mike at a diner that was situated half-way between her library and One Police Plaza. The waitress set their plates in front of them. Sarah noticed that Mike didn't seem as hungry as usual.
"You're going to do great, you know. And," she added with a smile, "you won't have to take the ferry when you want to have lunch with me now."
Mike looked at her with a serious expression and reached across the table to take her hand.
"You know, Sarah…the kind of cases they get at Major Case…I don't know that I'm going to be around 1 PP all that often. I may not be able to drop in for lunch too often."
"I was kidding Logan," Sarah laughed and laced her fingers through his, reached across to catch his other hand as well. "You really are going to do great. This Captain….Deakins…he must think a lot of you and your record to get you in his squad."
Mike closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head disbelievingly. "Lieutenant Van Buren tried several times to get me back to the 2-7 and couldn't. I don't even want to think about the strings Deakins had to pull to get me here." He looked at her somberly. "I owe the guy a lot. I just hope…." He trailed off.
"You won't let him down," Sarah insisted. "If your former lieutenant and now the captain both think you are a good cop, there has to be a reason for that. Maybe," she said with a glimmer of humor, "it's because you really are a good cop."
Mike glanced at his watch. "Yeah, well…I better get going or this good cop is going to be late on his first day. That would make a great impression on Deakins."
Sarah laughed and grabbed the check before Mike had a chance to reach for it. "I told you this is my treat…hands off, Detective."
Mike walked Sarah to her car. Pausing on the sidewalk, Mike suddenly pulled her into his arms and captured her mouth with his for a long, passionate kiss. Sarah was breathless and speechless when he finally raised his head and looked down at her.
"Thank you," he said huskily.
"For what," she whispered.
"For being my cheering squad." He kissed her again quickly and then escorted her around to the driver's side. After she was inside and the door was closed, Mike leaned his hands against the window for a brief moment before nodding to her and walking down the street to where his car was parked.
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"Today was Mike Logan's first day," Annie said. "How did he do?"
She and Alex were having dinner after going to the gym. Alex grinned.
"OK. He was tied to the captain's apron strings all day."
"What do you mean?"
"Deakins had Logan going over manuals, procedures, stuff like that. The desk he gave him is this little, rickety thing right outside Deakins' office."
"Sounds like a kid in school being sent to sit in the corner," Annie mused.
"Yeah…kind of the same thing," Alex told her.
"But why? The captain wanted Logan, didn't he?"
"Sure, he wanted him. In fact, he said he had to use some favors to get him to Major Case."
"So why the short leash?"
Alex shrugged. "Logan's got a reputation as a good cop, a good homicide detective…and as a hothead. If he goes off after the captain went to bat for him, it'll be bad for Deakins. He's just being cautious."
"Hmm…Cops…" Annie said with a smile. "You really do have your own culture, don't you?" Alex laughed with her. "He didn't happen to mention if he's still with Gina, did he?"
"No, it didn't come up," Alex said with a slight frown at the turn in the conversation. "Why?"
"Oh…nothing. It's a moot point now. I was just thinking it might be nice for Mike to meet Sarah."
"Sarah? Captain Deakins' niece? Well, I'm sure they will meet one of these days. She comes in to take the captain to lunch once in a while. And the Deakins' invite people from the squad over to their house. But why Sarah," she asked. Alex was well aware of Annie's matchmaking tendencies, having been a target on a few occasions. "Mousy, quiet, librarians don't really seem like Logan's type."
Annie laughed. "Mousy and quiet do not describe Sarah! She's funny and smart and pretty and…."
"Well-read," Alex interrupted with a laugh.
"Yes, that too," Annie agreed. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. I told Sarah not too long ago that there was someone I thought she might like to meet. She said she's dating someone."
"Ah....so Logan is safe for now," Alex teased.
"For now," Annie said with a chuckle.
They chatted as they ate their food, talking about children, work, family. As they were leaving the restaurant to head to their respective cars, Alex stopped and asked with a serious expression, "How…How is Bobby?"
"He's fine." Annie looked at Alex suspiciously. "Why?" She was curious why Alex would ask how he was when she saw him every day at work.
Alex shook her head. "No reason…it's just that…a while back, right after we arrested Frank Adair, we met for drinks one day…and Bobby was…well, he was kinda drunk."
"Drunk? At a bar?" Annie smiled at her.
"Yeah, I know. It's silly. But I was late getting there and he…was already drunk when I got there. It just seemed like something was bothering him, but he didn't say anything. He hasn't mentioned his mother or his brother lately. Is everything OK with them?"
Alex regretted the question as soon as it was out of her mouth. She saw the hurt flash across Annie's face. So there was something going on with his family. But Annie was obviously not going to talk about it, either.
"As far as I know, everything is fine," she said, trying to look neutral and failing. "Bobby…well, he didn't really talk about it much, but I know that case bothered him a lot. He was probably just trying to relieve the stress. He's been fine."
Alex didn't know what to do to ease the discomfort they were both obviously feeling now, so she just said, "Good. Well. I better get going. See you next week?"
Annie nodded. "Next week." Without warning she suddenly reached out and hugged Alex. "Thanks for being such a good partner to him," she whispered before releasing her and hurrying down the street to her car.
Alex watched her for a moment. She berated herself all the way back to her car. This was the reason she and Annie had an unspoken agreement not to talk about Bobby, but tonight Alex had broken that agreement. She didn't know what was going on with her partner, but obviously his wife was concerned as well.
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"Nicole Wallace?" Annie blinked, then turned to stare at Bobby. "You have got to be kidding me. Nicole Wallace is back?"
Bobby nodded and watched Annie's face. They were in Bobby's Mustang, driving home from the shooting range, following Annie's monthly target practice. Bobby and Alex had discovered Nicole working in the library of a college while investigating the murder of a health inspector. They arrested her and took her in for questioning. He had wanted to wait to tell Annie about Nicole because target practice was always difficult for her. She didn't like handling the gun, hated shooting it. But he insisted that once a month she practice loading and shooting his gun. He felt it was important for her to be familiar with the gun, although it was kept in a lock box while at home. So, although it wasn't the best time to give her the bad news, he wanted to tell her about Nicole while they were alone.
She sighed wearily and asked, "So who has she killed this time?"
"A health inspector. She is seeing the brother of the inspector, a widower with a little girl. We think she also killed his wife."
"Wonderful. But she's in jail now? She won't get out?"
"No. When she is arraigned, Carver will ask for remand." Bobby took her hand and brought it to his lips, while keeping his eyes on the road. "We don't have enough to charge her with either of these murders yet. But she'll be arraigned for the murder of the girl she was with last time, the one she taught to steal. And Australia should be seeking extradition soon for the murder of her daughter. She's not getting out," Bobby said confidently.
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Mike pushed his food around on his plate with his fork, as Sarah watched. They were having lunch, but Mike wasn't eating very much.
"Don't like the food," Sarah asked with a smile.
He looked up at her and shrugged. "It's been two weeks and Deakins has me doing 'gofer' stuff. Filing, running down reports from the ME or CSU…you know, for the real detectives." He sighed and gave her a smile. "He doesn't trust me."
"That can't be true, Mike. You said yourself that it must have taken some effort for him to get you transferred."
"Maybe he's regretting it now."
"I don't believe that. He just doesn't have a partner for you yet. What about the other detectives? Have you talked to any of them?"
"Oh sure…when they send me off to chase down a report for them," Mike told her sarcastically. He sighed. "Seriously, though, they are all OK. I've worked with Goren and Eames once before. My first week, I kind of stepped on their toes, asked one of their suspects some questions. But they seemed OK with it, appreciated the answers I got from him."
Sarah propped her elbow on the table and leaned her cheek against her hand. "It's going to get better, Mike."
"Yeah."
As he walked her back to the library, Sarah wondered if she should mention that Captain Deakins was her uncle. She had wanted to wait until Uncle Jimmy and Mike had time to get to know one another, to develop a working relationship. But she hated seeing Mike discouraged like this. What she wanted more than anything was to confront her uncle….and tell him what, she wondered. Be nice to my boyfriend?
"What are you smiling about?" Mike's voice brought her back to the present.
"You," she said, turning to look up at him. "Thinking about you always makes me smile."
He grinned at her and dropped a light kiss on her nose. "I haven't been very good company lately," he said with a sigh. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. You're always good company…even when you are in a bad mood."
He reached around and gently tugged on her pony tail. "See you this weekend?"
She nodded. "Jia Li has a birthday party to go to on Sunday. But we can do something Saturday night."
"OK. Saturday night. We'll do….something." She blushed at his innuendo, just as he had hoped she would. Kissing her quickly, Mike said, "I better go. I'm sure Deakins has something for me to file. I'll call you tonight."
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Annie was vigorously vacuuming the living room carpet, lost in thought as Sandy danced around her, barking. It was her day off and the children were in school. The house had been thoroughly scrubbed as she tried to find a way to release her angry energy. Earlier in the week Nicole Wallace had been released on bail following her arraignment. An arraignment that Bobby had assured Annie would result in Nicole being remanded to custody without bail. But somehow her lawyer had managed to convince the judge to let her have bail, and her fiancé had posted it. How did she always manage to find loopholes to slip through?
Nicole on the loose meant long hours for Bobby and Alex as they tried to find the evidence they needed to put her away. Even when he was home, he stayed down in his office going over files, reading, searching the internet, trying to find something, anything, that would close the net around Nicole. Annie didn't understand just what it was about the blonde serial killer that captivated Bobby's complete attention. Was it that she always got away, that she was one "perp" he could never seem to put away? Or was it, as Nicole liked to insinuate whenever she played her little games with Annie, because he was—in some perverse way—attracted to her? Whatever it was, Annie was tired of Nicole Wallace and her intrusion into their lives.
She was so wrapped up in her thoughts, and the noise of the vacuum was so loud, that it took several minutes before she realized that Sandy was no longer chasing the vacuum cleaner and barking at it. She was barking at the front door. Annie hadn't heard the doorbell, but the dog had. She turned off the vacuum just as it rang again. She wondered how long the person had been standing there as she crossed the living room.
"Sit Sandy," she commanded the dog as she reached to open the door. She stood speechless, staring, unable to believe who was standing there.
"Hello Annie. Aren't you going to invite me in?"
End Chapter 1
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