Title: Would You Rather
Author: Angel Leviathan
Spoilers: Vague for Season 2, possibly.
Disclaimer: Atlantis, characters, concept, etc, aren't mine.
Notes: The game is real. Go forth and harass your friends with it.
"Would you rather…be permanently blue…I mean totally blue, blue skin, hair, everything…or have a small, but notably obvious swear word tattooed on your face?"
John was clearly a master at the game. Who came up with questions like that right off the top of their head? Really?
Elizabeth tried not to laugh and stared at the surface of the table she and several of her personnel were seated round. She narrowed her eyes in thought, "…I think…I'd have to be blue."
"The swear word, its so obvious," Rodney countered, "Well, less, if you get what I mean."
Teyla tilted her head, "…And you would have to be completely blue? For your whole life?"
John nodded, "Whole life."
"Swear word," Ronon mumbled.
"Blue," Laura Cadman grinned, "I think it'd be fun."
"Aye, I'd have to be blue," Carson agreed.
"You'd rather be completely blue from head to toe than have a small swear word on your face?" Rodney questioned, clearly unable to comprehend the choice.
"I'd get tired of having to constantly apologise…" Elizabeth answered, "…and can you imagine ever pulling off successful diplomatic relations with everyone staring at you because you're silently swearing non-stop at the representatives?"
"You think you could seal treaties whilst blue?" John smirked, "But yeah, people would think you were just being offensive all the time," he nodded, "But see, if you were blue, it'd be the other way round. If anyone ever dared stare at you, you could just say, 'is it because I'm blue?' or 'are you blue-ist?'."
That one made everyone smile. The game had started around half an hour ago, during what had began as a quick coffee break. Hardly any of them had heard of it and it had taken John a couple of rounds of questions to get everyone involved, but they had to admit it was fun to be having perfectly serious debates over often absolutely stupid issues.
"I've got one," Laura slapped her hands against the surface of the table, "Would you rather…give up chocolate forever…" she glanced round the group, "Forever," she stressed, "Or have to eat jam at every meal?"
"Give up chocolate," McKay answered instantly, "What? Jam makes me nauseous."
"I bet it would if you ate it with every meal," John shot back.
"Jam?" Ronon frowned.
Elizabeth blinked, "You've never had jam in all your time here?"
"…Not that I'm aware of."
"Buddy, you're missing out. Strawberry, raspberry, blackcurrant, apricot…" John reeled off.
"Ah-ah, one flavour jam, every meal," Laura amended.
"…Give up chocolate…" Elizabeth reluctantly chose.
"I am still uncertain as to the appeal of chocolate…I believe I could live without it…" Teyla thought aloud, "But I am not particularly fond of jam either…"
"Have to pick one," the blonde insisted.
"I would…give up chocolate."
All eyes were on Carson, "Well?" several of the group asked, all at once.
"You love chocolate," Laura teased.
"I'd have to go with the jam at every meal," he admitted.
"I'm with the Doc on this one," John agreed, "I could face the jam if I could keep the chocolate."
"Here's one for you," Rodney stepped in, "Would you rather give up music or books?"
"Ouch," Elizabeth murmured.
"Books," Ronon stated. He immediately began to explain himself, on receiving several glares that clearly prompted him to, "You can tell more about a person, about people, through music. You could find a book from a dead culture and never know whether it was thought of as brilliant or horrific. If a song has survived from its early years, then it states more about the culture than you'd ever truly know. If its survived through generations then it means something to everyone, not just to a minority."
Nobody had been expecting that kind of answer from him. Counter arguments died on the lips of several members of the group as silence fell over them.
"Song was important on my world," he elaborated, voice strangely quiet.
"I would give up books," Teyla said.
Elizabeth winced, "Sorry, I'd still have to give up music. I love reading too much."
"Books," Laura answered, "Music helps me think."
"Music," John leant back in his chair, reaching for his abandoned coffee cup. He knew it probably wasn't the answer they had thought he would give, but he wasn't about to explain it.
"Music," Carson smiled slightly, "I'd be a bloody atrocious doctor if I wasn't allowed any books. Now…would you rather…have a nail-file yanked from between your clenched back teeth or have a toothpick put under your big toe nail and be forced to kick a football?"
"You're secretly very sadistic, aren't you?" John raised an eyebrow, grimacing in anticipated pain, "The teeth one."
"Nail file, teeth, etcetera," Laura replied, shuddering.
"Toothpick and football," Elizabeth said.
"You want your toe ripped in half?" John exclaimed.
She shrugged, "Think about it. The toe is temporary damage, say it rips your toenail off," even she couldn't stop herself from shivering at the thought, "its temporary damage. Think how much dental work you would have to have done after someone got to you with the nail file? And how much it would cost you?"
"The toothpick," Ronon and Teyla said in unison.
"Doctor Weir is correct in what she states," Teyla continued, "your toe would heal itself, your teeth would not."
"I've had worse injuries," Ronon mumbled.
"Is there an option that doesn't involve agonising pain?" Rodney glanced around, "No? …The nail file."
Elizabeth took a sip from her coffee cup, "Would you rather…have no imagination or know the truth about something, know everyone was wrong, and never be able to tell them?"
"You mean like we can't tell anyone we're in another galaxy right now?" John shot her a smile, "Well, we already know Rodney has no imagination…"
"Hey! Well, something either can or cannot happen, if that's what you mean," McKay replied.
"But you bend the laws of physics every day," Laura countered.
"And I don't need reminding, thank you."
"I'd rather keep my imagination," Carson said, "It tends to help when you don't know what's ahead."
"I'd give up the ability to fantasise if I could write a paper on everything out here and have it accepted by the whole scientific community," Rodney answered.
"I need my imagination," John murmured.
"I'd rather have others acknowledge the truth than be able to dream up anything I wanted," Ronon replied.
Teyla appeared pensive, "…I would rather imagine there is a better way of life than living in fear and keep others in the dark whether or not I knew anything they did not."
"Would you rather give up the emotion of fear or of happiness?" Ronon asked.
"Fear, clearly," Rodney folded his arms.
"But with no fear, you'd do anything. You'd probably not survive the day. So what would be the point in happiness?" Carson argued.
"What would be the point of life without happiness?" John frowned, "I'd rather be stupid and happy than depressed and scared. Theoretically speaking."
"If you couldn't be happy, it doesn't mean you couldn't…" Elizabeth hesitated, "Love."
"Living without fear, for however short a time, does sound appealing in theory," Teyla spoke softly, "I admit I would like to experience it, for however long it lasted, no matter the consequences."
"Fear is a driving force," Elizabeth stared down at the table, "It might not be pleasant, but I don't think people could survive without it. I would have to give up the ability to be happy."
"I'm with the Colonel and Teyla, I'd rather be happy and oblivious for a short while," Laura glanced across at Carson, "You?"
"I'd have to patch up everyone who had behaved in a fearless manner, so from that perspective, I'd rather keep fear, get on with things and give up happiness. Like Elizabeth said, it doesn't mean you could never experience other positive emotions," he gave a half-hearted shrug.
"On that depressing note, I should check that my lab hasn't been destroyed yet," Rodney stood up, "We should have citywide rounds of this game, it would force certain people to think," he muttered. He wandered off without another word.
Teyla glanced at her watch, "We should go, we did say the training session would begin in another ten minutes," she nodded to Ronon.
"Teaching McKay's kind to fight is a lost cause," he mumbled as he stood up.
John smirked, "Scientists are forever labelled as McKay's kind," he sounded very amused by that fact.
"I think I'll be a sheep and follow the crowd back to work…" Laura stood up to leave, "Expedition leader might get angry and all …" she smiled at Elizabeth and left the table, "Oh, Carson," she called back over her shoulder, "Dinner, tonight, don't forget!" she continued on her way.
"As if I could forget!" he chided, "Excuse me," Carson quickly headed after her.
"We should probably get back to work," John reluctantly stated.
"I agree," Elizabeth stretched a little in her chair and stood up, "Interesting game, John."
"You don't need happiness to be able to love?" he asked softly, not quite making eye contact with her.
She hesitated, "…You need fear to be able to love more than you need the ability to be happy," she had been looking at a distant point above his head, but then made direct eye contact, "…You need to be afraid for that person. You need to be afraid of what they do to you and you need to be afraid you might lose them," her voice was very quiet as she finished, but despite wanting desperately to look away, she wouldn't let herself, "…and you don't need to be happy to love someone." Elizabeth appeared pensive for a moment before she reclaimed control, "I'll see you in the meeting at seventeen hundred, John."
It took him a couple of seconds' worth of blank staring at her for him to respond, "…Yeah. I'll see you then."
She shot him a faint smile and headed off.
"Elizabeth?"
She halted and turned back to face him, head tilted.
"A reason to give up fear. You wouldn't be afraid to give in to love," John called out.
Elizabeth didn't smile. But she nodded, once, and went on her way again.
Fin