Believe me, I cracked up writing this. Think of it as a way to promote some fanfictions which do not involve *hem hem* fornicating *hem hem* and actually AREN'T OCC (sorry, but I'm a bit of a flamer) So yeah. Hope it made you laugh as much as it made me.

R&R?

~ICJ

Summary:

All of the Percy Jackson characters have read the FanFiction on their forum. Needless to say, they've got some…opinions on what they read. Each will say about 1—3 sentences describing exactly what they think in blunt manner because…well…that's the way they are. If you're sensitive, remember this may not be targeted directly at you.

Percy~

So, if I'm going to live up to the standards of you guys, I've got…at last count…1,087 Truth or Dare games to complete, 298 Spin the Bottle games, and 723 Strip Poker rounds, at least 1/4 of which are completed with pairings that are not me and Annabeth.

Good luck with that!

Annabeth~

Yeah, news flash—I'M NOT READY FOR…FORNICATING ANYWHERE, WITH ANYONE, ANYTIME.

And why in the name of Hades would I ever, ever, ever fall in love with Grover? Or Nico? Or Thalia?

The sickness of people's minds…

Grover~

I don't need to be a second Lord of the Wild. I'm contented with Pan being the past Lord of the Wild.

But I'm still going to be taking demigods to Camp Half-Blood. So I don't have too many complaints!

PS~ Except for that part about me and Annabeth…or Katie Gardener…or Thalia…or any other girl…dryad? I mean, any other…THING except Juniper.

Nico~

Me with Miss Sunshine Oracle? Don't make me laugh. Me with Miss Gothic Huntress? Don't make me puke. Me with Miss I'm-too-smart-for-my-own-good Athena girl? Don't make me commit suicide.

Thalia~

Do the words "Huntress of Artemis" mean anything to you? Do the words "our-parents-are-complete-enemies-so-there's-no-way-in-Hades" mean anything to you? Do the words "If-you-pair-me-up-with-Nico-Percy-or-Leo-Valdez-again-I-will-personally-kill-you" mean anything to you?

I mean, honestly.

Rachel~

Percy dating me? I mean, sure, I might have had the teensiest crush on him at one point in my life, but we're over. He's with Annabeth. I'm not going to get together with him.

Oh, and Me and Apollo? One syllable—EW. Just because I'm the Oracle doesn't mean I like Apollo. Heck, it's because I'm the Oracle that I don't like Apollo. Or Percy. Or Nico! People!

The irony of this is just sickening.

Poseidon~

I would really appreciate it if people stopped pairing me with Athena. Does the word "mortal enemies" mean anything to you?

(Or "immortal enemies," 'cause we can't exactly die…)

Athena~

All those writers who talk about me and the blue-dolphin-underwear guy had better either be mentally insane or actually want to die.

Luke~

Nothing to say. But you guys seem to like me a lot. Since I've got spare time, I guess I'll just rub some stuff into Annabeth's face. Not Thalia's, though. I don't want to die again.

Artemis~

Vow; a solemn pledge (to oneself or to another or to a deity) to do something or to behave in a certain manner.

That is from a dictionary. It also means the equivalent of if I break it I will be killed via the River Styx. So, guess what? Write your fanfiction about me and someone else, and I may just turn you into a jackalope. Or a rabbit if you're a girl. So I can roast you over a fire and say prayers that you'll see sense someday.

Tyson~

Yay! I like blowing up monsters. But Annabeth is with Percy. But thank you for the peanut butter stories!

Hera~

I'll never go on a fanfiction site ever again.

Zeus~

Good bye. I'm going to go wash my eyelids.

I know, bad, but I couldn't help it! R&R! Flames are highly discouraged, but acceptable! Thank ye!

~Iris Cornelia Jade