"My only regret is that I never found out who the Batman really was." Jonathan Crane stood on the grassy knoll overlooking the Gotham River, where the crime-ridden city itself was meeting its fiery end. Smiling suddenly, he turned to the Joker, who stood a few feet behind him. "You did a fine job with the knife, though."
The Joker flashed his scarred leer. "Only the best for the Batman." He had miraculously apprehended the Batman, and killed him out in front of City Hall by cutting lethal smile-scars into his face, using his favorite blade. The intense euphoria he had felt when the knife had penetrated Batman's flesh had prevented him from even considering removing the dark cowl and revealing Batman's true identity - he liked the idea of dying a mystery, and felt that his nemesis was deserving enough to be honored in the same fashion. He had then convinced Jonathan to leave Arkham - Crane had become rather attached to the Gothic asylum where he had tortured so many of his patients - and together they had set fire to the city, inciting fear and chaos wherever they went.
Jonathan leaned his shoulder against a tree, removing his spectacles and placing them in an inner pocket of his suit jacket. Through his crystalline blue eyes, the orange flames blurred as they seemed to try to conquer the sky along with the city. "Are we going to let the Narrows fall, or will it remain standing?" The Narrows was the small island on which Arkham Asylum was located.
"Let it all burn." The Joker came up from behind Jonathan and wrapped his arms around him. "Then our little message will be made clear to the world, and a new Gotham will rise from the ashes. Our city."
Crane smiled at the thought, even though he knew that - as he had done before - the Joker would once again lord over crime in the new metropolis.
"Sounds romantic," Crane purred, laying his head on the Joker's shoulder and looking up at him through long, thick lashes.
The Joker smirked and pushed Crane back up against the tree, rubbing their hips together seductively, Jonathan gasping with pleasure at the friction. Each fought to be dominant in the passionate kiss that followed.
A polite cough caused the two lovers to pause in their affections. They whipped their heads toward the sound.
A short, round man stood before them, wearing a tailored suit in the style of the nineteenth century, complete with a top hat, monocle and a cane. His skin was pale, his nose long and beak-like.
The Joker stepped in front of Jonathan protectively. He cocked his head, eyes narrowing to slits within the splotches of black makeup surrounding them. "Who are you?" he asked, his tone darkened with suspicion.
"In another time, I was once called Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot - but you may call me the Penguin." The obviously wealthy man removed his hat, revealing his rapidly-receding hairline, and bowed low.
"He looks like a penguin," Crane muttered, electric blue orbs squinting at the newcomer critically; the Joker silenced him with a quick brush of gloved fingers against the fly of his trousers.
"What do you want?" the Clown Prince of Crime inquired.
"To join you, of course." The Penguin placed his hat back on his head and straightened it. "I heard about what you did to that place" - he nodded to the burning city - "and I became inspired. I'm offering to fund your ventures once the city rebuilds itself - and I of course expect to receive a share of the profit. What do you say?"
The Joker looked back at Crane for his opinion.
"He strikes me as a bit of a nuisance - but he would be useful," Crane admitted, still squinting at the entrepreneur.
The Joker turned forward again and pumped the hand offered to him vigorously, shaking not just the Penguin's arm but making it seem as though the man's whole body trembled with the force of the gesture. Jonathan tried not to giggle.
"It's a deal. Welcome to the pack, Bird-Brain."
Jonathan snorted, clapping a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. The Penguin frowned disapprovingly.
"So, what now?" the rich man asked.
"We watch Gotham burn to the ground." The Joker said this as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Crane giggled again.
The Penguin sighed in exasperation and turned to face the dying city. Though the sun was setting, only the deep lapis lazuli and violet parts of the natural event could be seen; the flames seemed to engulf the Sun itself.
END