Everything About Him
"I have to many flaws to be perfect. But I have to many blessings to be ungrateful"- Anonymous
Contrary to popular belief, her love for Robin is not blind, nor is it a love without thought or reason.
She knew very well that he was flawed. So flawed that she could make a list, with three main things at the top.
First and foremost of these erm...less-than-desirable traits would be his obsessive nature. When Robin became fixated on something, it took possession of his entire being-mind, body, and she feared sometimes it even took hold of his very soul. The Slade-dust cause was more than enough proof of that.
(Robin was not the only Titan who still suffered nightmare from that terrifying episode).
It is not healthy, and it breaks her heart sometimes, to see him wasting nights that should have been spent sleeping-and not to mention days that should have been spent enjoying himself with friends-locked up in his room, brooding over endless files that seem to linger over him like a demanding mistress, or even a slave master, keeping Robin away from her...from everyone who loved him.
(X'hal knew how many times she had thought of just blasting those endless mountains of files. Of reducing them to ashes with her starbolt).
(She would have done it to, if she thought it would help).
Oh, she knew why he did this to himself, why he worked himself to death. He did it because he felt responsible for every crime they failed to stop, every civilian death-as rare as those mercifully were- and especially if any of his teammates gets hurt... her especially.
(And some days she hates, loathes, despises herself for doing that to him, for becoming one of his most notable weakness).
It reminded her, sometimes, of a Tamaranean Tragedy, in which the hero's most noble traits merge together to created a potential fatal flaw...and sometimes, Robin himself reminded her of a star in how he burned so bright giving light to others, that he comes close to burning himself out in the meantime.
(She refused to let that happen, and she will always be will be willing to give her light to bring him back).
Then there is his temper. It's like an ocean, a fire, a supernova.
None of these things are inherently bad.
Oceans support most of this planet's life, fires are brilliant and beautiful too (and of course warm), and supernovas are the birthplaces of life.
But nevertheless, all of these things are dangerous servants, fearsome masters, and are volatile in nature to those who think they can control them...as Slade had found out when that madman had tried to control Robin.
(But it not only the villains who are wary of Robin's temper...the Titans are as well).
Oh, Cyborg pretends he's not, but the tenseness of his body betrays him.
Raven retreats further into herself when she sense a explosion.
And poor Beast Boy-the youngest of the team at fourteen- had taken to morphing into the cute little earthen creature called the d-o-g, rolling over, and showing his belly in a form of submission...which seems to be a tactic he is very familiar with.
As for her...Robin doesn't yell at solely her much...but whenever he does, she'll involuntary grab the same arm he did that night they were hunting ghosts in the rain.
"What happened?!" "You are...hurting me." "Slade ran right by you, how could you let him get away?!"
(Now this should be explained... her Tamaranean invulnerability was linked to her emotions. The more courageous she felt, the more hits she could take...but the more afraid she got...and even a skinny earthen boy could bruise her. And that night she had feared for her best friend's life).
The last of this unholy trinity of flaws was his bad habit of claiming the people he loved...
Especially her.
Now she will not deny it...sometimes she found his possessiveness a little humorous, and even-dare she say it-flattering.
But sometimes it goes to far.
There had been one time when she had been at a mission undercover. At a nightclub. She had been disguised as a human, and her job had been to coax an uncommitted drug dealer, Daniel, to tell her where the next shipmen was coming in.
And the more he talked...the more she pitied him. He had not been a bad man...X'hal, he had not even been a man, given that he was barely older than her. Just a teenager, who happen to be the sole breadwinner of the family that he was forced to quit school to support them when his father died, but without a high school diploma, the best way to make the big money they needed was to be a dealer... but he wasn't comfortable with the job, seeing that people who took the drugs had a high death rate.
As she kept buying Daniel drinks to loosen his tongue, he mentioned over and over again that he had a little brother, and that he needed the money to make sure the boy had a future.
(Being an older sister herself, she could relate all to well, and she had turned her mic off to tell him so).
When the dealer had gotten up to leave, Daniel had been more than a little tipsy, and had tripped over his own feet and had landed his face in her chest. A complete accident, as his stuttered apologize had shown.
She had been about to tell him it was fine...but she couldn't, seeing that at that moment her teammates-who were station around the club in various places-sprung into action.
(Really, did they see her as being so delicate, so fragile, that she couldn't handled awkward situations?)
Without cause, they had started a battle on her behalf...in which Robin shattered Daniel's collarbone.
Needless to say, she was not impressed...and that night, the Titans learned that Robin was not the only one among them who had a temper.
...So given all these flaws, it stood to reason to say that she, in fact, did not love everything about Robin.
But it also stood to reason to declare that what she did loved, she loved a great deal, and that his virtues more than made up for his shortcomings.
(Let the man who is not flawed speak up, and she will prove him a liar).
She loved Robin's intelligence; which showed how carefully and brilliantly he planned their attacks, so that there is only a microscope change of failure. If that. She loved and respected how thoughtfully he sometimes became, as he pondered the role they played in the balanced of law and justice. And the cleverness he shows in the one-liners he throws at their enemies in his personal battles, turning their own words of doom and death into something laughable.
(Which was a habit, he had confided in her, that was left over from his childhood).
She loved his utterly selfless mindset; everyday Robin gave his all for a city that did not always respect them, and what they did. And he asked for nothing in return. Jump was his realm, and he had sworn to protect it, and more importantly it occupants, to his dying breath.
("Buildings are just buildings Chakano," he had explained to her once, using the Romani word for star as an affectionate pet name. "What really makes a city are the people that live in it.").
She loves his independent spirit, and how he was as free as the bird he had named himself after. Defying gravity in powerful swings with added touches of grace and beauty, that was when he was most happy, she felt.
(Part of her thought that was the reason he liked flying with her so much...besides the opportunity it presented to hold her hands).
She adored his mannerisms; from the easy-going grin he wore when he was relaxed, to his mischievous smirk when he was five steps ahead of the rest of them, to the way he would ruffled his hair and tug at his cape when he was flustered...and around her, he often was.
(And even before she saw them, she loved the way his eyes would soften just for her).
She loved how furiously protective Robin was of the people he loved. Especially her. She had lost count of the time he had dove to catch her whenever she fell-a habit she really needed to work on-or the great distress he had shown when he, as earthens say, crashed her arranged marriage.
And of course it wasn't just her.
He had helped to cure Cyborg when he had been infected by that virus...and this was after Robin had forgiven him for trying to eat him.
After Terra's betrayal, Robin gave the unstable geo-controller one more chance to change...more for Beast Boy's shake than hers, because their youngest begged him to.
And of course, there was the time he had rescued Raven from hell itself.
...And years later, when their childhood was over, she loved the way he loved their daughter, Mar'i. How he was always ready to hold her, to hug her. To answer each of their little girl's questions-and because Mar'i is her daughter, she has a lot of questions- and teach all he knew of life, and the people in it. How to stand and fight...but also how to be humble, and kind.
(One time, she overhears him explaining to Mar'i how everybody was flawed, and that this was not a bad thing, as it makes people more beautiful).
She could not agree more.
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