The room is still dark when I wake. I feel the edge of the bed in front of me and roll over, stretching my arms out across the silk sheets. The bed is cold and empty, and the quilt is folded back over my side. I open my eyes to see a dark room dimly lit by the moonlight and the door slightly ajar with yellow light seeping through. "Spencer?" He doesn't reply. I prop myself up on my elbow and squint at the door. "Spence?" I say a little bit louder.

"Yeah, I'm ju-" His voice catches and he pauses. "I'm just reading. I couldn't sleep." He sniffles and I hear him shuffle around in the living room. I roll off the edge of the bed and put on my glasses. I stumble around the bed, still heavy from sleep.

"What are you doing?" I shield my eyes with my hand as I squint into the living room. He is sitting on the couch with his back facing me. His hair is tangled from sleep and a large book is open on the table in front of him with a box of Kleenex next to it. I shuffle around the couch and see him hunched over with his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands. "What's wrong, Love?" I sit beside him and place one hand on his back and rub circles over his soft skin.

He sniffles and rubs his eyes several times before removing his hands from his face and crossing his fingers in front of him. I tuck his curls behind his ears, "Please tell me."

He took a deep breath, "I'm really scared about what will happen to Ethan."

"What are you talking about?" I say while yawning. "He's not even born yet."

"I just keep thinking about my mom."

"What?" Spencer turns towards me and pulls one leg up on the couch and tucks his foot under his other knee. His eyes are puffy and red with dark circles underneath. I reach out to him and rub his hand.

"She didn't know she had schizophrenia when she was pregnant with me and I wonder if she knew then would she have kept me."

I sigh and hang my head. I sit there for several seconds before looking him in the eye again. "We've talked about this. There is a very small chance that he will have it." I hold his hand tighter, "We don't even know for sure if you have it."

He looks down at our hands. "What if he does?"

"You have got to stop thinking that." He looks down at our hands and sits there quietly for a few minutes before whispering: "What if I ruin his life?"

I pull his face up and look him straight in the eye, "Do not say that, ever again. You will not ruin his life!" I take a deep breath and lower my hands. "Have you ever wondered if he will turn out to be a genius?"

He nods, "Sometimes."

"Why don't you worry about him outsmarting you instead?" He laughs and leans his forehead against mine before rubbing his hands over my large belly. "No matter what happens, you will not ruin his life. He will be lucky to have you as a dad." Spencer wraps his arms around my waist and nestles his face in my hair.

"Thank you." He kisses my shoulder gently. "Thank you."

"Are you going to be okay?" Spencer pulls back from our hug and smiles

"Yeah, I am."

I smile back at him. "Good, now, let's go back to bed. It's four in the morning and I'm exhausted." I say. I pull his face to mine and kiss him slowly.

"Okay," He whispers. He helps me up from the couch and we walk back to the bedroom, hand in hand. I crawl into the bed first and throw my glasses on the side table before curling up. Spencer shuts off the lights and crawls in behind me, pressing his warm body against my back and snaking an arm around my belly. He kisses my shoulder, "Goodnight, Love."

"Goodnight." I close my eyes and fall asleep listening to Spencer's soft breath in my ear.