The first day had been, as always, extremely hard. Michiru had been travelling, this time to Europe, so it had been impossible to get a hold of her. The violinist had been texting till the very last chance of using her cell phone on the plane, telling Haruka how a part of her was already missing. The blonde had waited till the airplane – at least the one Haruka thought would be Michiru's - had disappeared on the horizon. Haruka had whispered with the wind, hoping for the plane to arrive safely.
The second day had gone rather smoothly. She had a chance to catch up with Michiru before going to sleep and in the morning Hotaru had crawled into her bed, reading car magazines with her and watching cartoons until Setsuna had announced the Sunday brunch was ready. Oreo pancakes and beacon with scrambled eggs had been a good distraction, but every time the memory came back on why Michiru's chair next to hers was empty – promo tour, not a short trip to the kitchen counter to make more tea -, Haruka felt incredibly hurt.
The third day, with no chance of reaching Michiru thanks to the time zones, Haruka had tried to call in sick until she realized she was her own boss. It all sucked hard.
The fourth day, Mina soon had given up with her attempts of trying to make Haruka feel better. "I feel sorry for you, lesbian", but, of course, she hadn't been sorry, she had just been plain annoyed. Never ever again would she come over to try playing Mario Kart with Haruka when Michiru was away!
The fifth day Haruka had been binge-watching "iCarly" – she didn't deserve to watch a show she actually liked - and eating ice-cream straight from the container, mixing it from time to time with chips, gummy bears or cereal. Setsuna had taken Hotaru to the planetarium for the night, leaving Haruka some apples and carrots next to the remote in hope Haruka wouldn't kill herself with an overdose of sugar.
The tall blonde was very close to starting chain-smoking, but she knew her wife would become furious if she'd do it in the bedroom, so she stuck to smoke furiously in her secret spot in the garage. The look of her cars, being parked for a while now, didn't make her feel better either. It only added guilty conscience to her dark mind. But it just wasn't fun to go out for a drive without Michiru.
Contact was completely lost by the time Haruka curled up in bed. She knew her beautiful mermaid was busy with her promotion tour and also, that stupid time difference, but she didn't have it in her anymore than to feel anything else but yearning.
The lonely woman rarely slept now, missing Michiru's warm body wrapped around her, suffering without the sound of Michiru's breathing, Michiru's heart. Sometimes she would catch a "Michi message", which she squeaked in disbelief – she still loves me, she still loves me! – coming through at night, but Michiru was battling with bad service and a tight schedule.
Two more days. That was the only other thought running to her head besides "What's Michiru doing now?"
For the first time in her life, she wasn't ashamed to masturbate and she did it desperately.
And now, she was at her lowest, dressed in that one shirt from her childhood – long like a dress back then, now fitting her properly, the only nice gift she had ever received as a child. Haruka clutched Michiru's pillow tight, trying to detect Michiru's scent on it.
She sprawled out old scrapbooks, looking at the pictures that showed her and Michiru on their wedding day, on Hotaru's many birthdays (sometimes twice a week) or photos Setsuna would simply take of Haruka napping and Michiru sketching her meanwhile.
Michiru's little shell cell phone was right next to Haruka, too. But the ocean didn't speak to her.
So when the door was unlocked and there were steps on the stairs, Haruka didn't even react, rocking herself in a fetal position. She missed the love of her life so much.
Who, in this very moment, wondered with an arched eyebrow why her golden retriever butch wasn't already hugging her to death. Michiru opened the door to their bedroom in concern – to find a mess. Both Haruka and the state of her bed. This wasn't exactly what Michiru had expected to be welcomed with after the long flight.
"My love, I'm home, I decided I can't be without you any longer", Michiru said softly, not sure if Haruka was asleep or passed out.
"You can't be … I'm hallucinating!" Haruka was convinced she was dreaming – driven crazy by all her desires for the little things that made her life worth living: Backrubs at the end of a day full of work, Michiru's terrible yet beautiful singing voice in the bathroom when applying her make-up, the smell of paint – but the studio was lying dry now.
"Don't be silly, my love", Michiru smiled and sat on the edge of the bed, carefully smoothing Haruka's hair. She longed for her wife's embrace and her heart made a jump as Haruka finally got up, ready to acknowledge she wasn't poisoned from too much nicotine. But Michiru startled: "What are you wearing?"
And for the first time in her life, Haruka felt embarrassed for her clothing choices.
She wore a black shirt with the yellow eyes of a cat printed over her chest, complete with a little cat nose. It was the only piece of clothing she wore besides her black briefs. Michiru liked Haruka's sexy briefs … but wasn't a fan of the picture of a cat's face printed on Haruka's boobs.
The blonde blushed, pulling Michiru into her lap. She had dreamed of this for the last five days. She had dreamed of this for a while in darker days that were long gone, but ever so present in the state of loneliness. "It's from my aunt. She brought it for me when she planned to make things up with my mom when I was little. She, of course, didn't and I never saw her again."
Michiru didn't need to verify that Haruka had kept it all those years – proof was Haruka still wore it. And even though she wondered where Haruka had kept it, she didn't ask either. Michiru just smiled and kissed Haruka's forehead: "Don't worry. You are a pretty princess. Usagi would love it."
"I just feel stupid for going back to it for comfort … but I've missed you, babe."
"I've missed you too, my love. I slept in your shirt every night, you know that."
"I can't sleep in your clothes because you're tiny", Haruka whispered in Michiru's ear, making her giggle as her breathe tickled Michiru's skin.
Haruka sighed: "I still feel stupid for being nostalgic … I know I have the family now I've always wanted."
"Don't feel stupid. You're very sweet and you have a big heart and it's a shame you're eating and smoking yourself to a soon end." Michiru wiped away a cookie crumb from the corner of Haruka's mouth.
"But you still love me?" Haruka looked at Michiru, her eyes showing that she truly meant it, always afraid of losing Michiru's love.
"Bien sûr, I do or otherwise I would have stayed in Europe, wouldn't I?" Michiru gently rubbed Haruka's back, kissing her slowly. "You know what? Let me take a quick shower. You can put away the scrapbooks while I do so. And then we can cuddle and you can wear whatever you want or nothing at all."
Haruka beamed: "Sounds perfect. But Michi … please don't tell Mina about it though. She'd call me 'Sabrina' forever."