A/N: This is a part of the "A Life" series but is unlike the other stories and I really need to give a warning. This chapter contains a traumatic event leading to major character death and the associated aftermath. The overall story will be spread over two parts, the first part below and a second chapter which will follow shortly. I mentioned on Tumblr a while ago that I had written an angst-ridden story, this is it.

"Oh I love her so much already. I can't wait until February when I can hold her and kiss her. Ugh, it's so far away."

Abby was practically vibrating as they left Dr Ravenscroft's office after her Mummy's 20 week scan. She wasn't the only one. Both her mothers were grinning from ear to ear after the appointment. Everything was looking perfect for the latest Drill girl and like their daughter, they couldn't wait to meet her.

"it won't be long coming dear. she'll be here before we know it." Constance bent down and gave Abby a kiss before opening the car door and placing Ava in her car seat.

"And what did you think of your baby sister little one?"

Ave considered her Mama's question for a moment. "Baby! Kiss."

Before Constance closed the door she also gave their fifteen month old bundle of fun a kiss on the lips. She also knew by now that if Ava wanted a kiss that meant she also wanted one for her precious doll which apparently was named Katie, at least according to Abby. Once the kisses were doled out she closed the back door and opened the driver door.

"Sweetheart, let me drive." Imogen was already reaching for the keys.

"Are you sure Darling? Aren't you tired?"

"Not at all. You may as well take advantage now, in a few months time I'll be too big to fit behind the wheel."

They both laughed as they sat into their seats. Imogen had a very small bump, far smaller than Constance had been at this stage. In fact the students still didn't know she was pregnant. Still, the doctor had confirmed that their baby was a healthy size, that was all that mattered.

"Mummy, can we drive home the beach way, the other way is so boring."

Imogen caught Abby's eye in the rear view mirror. "Not this time honey. Granny and Granddad will be waiting and I can't wait to show them the scan picture. We'll drive that way when we go to the house on Friday okay?"

Abby sighed but quickly brightened up. The renovations to their house were finally complete and she couldn't wait to spend the upcoming long weekend there with her family. It was going to be great with Saturday having already been declared a pyjama day where they could just enjoy it.

As well as the house the other big topic to be discussed on the drive home was the baby's name. Her first name had already been decided but it was her middle name that was causing some uncertainty.

"I do want to call her after my mother but I'm torn. Amelia has been such a big part of my life, our lives, I don't want her to be offended."

Imogen glanced to her left and smiled. "I don't think she will be Sweetheart but we don't have to decide now. Think about it for a while."

There was a giggle from the back. "You need to decide on a pet name too Mummy."

"That's true honey. I was thinking….."

Imogen never got to finish her sentence. As she turned slowly onto the road that would take them back to the village, a car, driving on the wrong side of the road hit them head on. It happened so quickly that there wasn't even time for Constance to cast a protection spell before everything turned black.

"Sweetheart?" Imogen didn't know where she was. It was strange, there was a strong light but it wasn't straining her eyes. She also felt different, almost weightless. Where was she?

"Darling I'm here." Suddenly Constance was standing there, holding her hand.

"Where are we? What happened? I feel like I'm missing something but I don't know what."

Before Constance could answer they became aware of two figures moving towards them. It took a moment but suddenly Imogen realised who was standing in front of her.

"Mum? Oh Mum."

Rose Drill held her daughter for the first time in over ten years. "Yes pet. I've missed you so much, I can't tell you how good it feels to hold you."

While this reunion was happening there was also another underway.

"Hello sweetpea."

Standing across from Constance was a woman, also with long dark hair and brown eyes. She could have been twenty years old, she could have been one hundred. In reality she was ageless.

"M….M…..?"

"Mama, you called me Mama. Just like your daughters do. And you were my sweetpea."

"Abby, Ava." What was missing suddenly hit Imogen like a ton of bricks. "Where are they? Where are we?"

Keeping hold of her, Rose answered. "They're safe pet. Abby has a broken arm but Ava is uninjured. As for where you are. You're where we have been for the past number of years."

Imogen looked at Constance. "We're dead."

"Not quite Imogen. You're partially right. You're very nearly at your final destination, there is just one small step to take. However, right now you have a choice to make. One of you must go back. Those two beautiful girls need a mother. Which one of you goes is up to you and believe me, I know it's an almost impossible decision but it's what must be done."

Florence could see the agony in both pairs of eyes that were facing her. Imogen's green ones were filling with tears and for the first time in a long while she felt her heart break. For years she had watched her Constance suffer. It had taken much longer than she had ever wanted but one day her daughter's reason for being had walked into her life. Since then her little girl had become the person, the wife and mother, she was always meant to be. What was happening now was so unfair but it was not for them to question why.

"But….. How… Who?"

Rose looked at the woman her daughter loved. The woman she also loved for the joy she had brought into Imogen's life. "We know, believe us but as your mother said, this is how it must be. You must make the choice."

Next to them a bright blue light had appeared, it was clear to both what its purpose was.

"The baby?"

"Will be fine."

There was no decision to be made. Constance took Imogen in her arms and kissed her firmly, conveying a lifetimes worth of love in that kiss.

"I love you my Darling but it must be you. Abby and Ava need you and their sister. I'll be here, waiting for you."

"Baby, no. It's supposed to be you and me. You and me always." Deep down Imogen knew it had to be this way but that didn't make it any easier.

Constance reached down to stroke her wife's stomach. "This baby, she is what you need to focus on. Let me live through her and through Ava and Abby. And you. I told you once that you gave me life, you did more than that, you completed my life and made me happier than I could ever have imagined."

"Sweetheart I love you. I love you so much. Oh Mum, please don't let this happen to us. Please? We both matter don't we?"

Rose leaned over and kissed her daughter's cheek one last time. "We don't have a choice pet. We'll take care of her now, please believe me."

Constance held her love's hands for just long enough to say goodbye. "I know you love me Darling, I've always known. Tell our girls I love them. I love you. I'll always be with you. Always."

With a flash Imogen was gone leaving Constance with her mother and mother in law holding her. There was no way of describing how she felt, the word simply didn't exist but she knew that she had done the right thing.

"You'll be with them always sweetpea and then one day, when the time is right we'll all be together. Come with us, you'll find peace where we're going."

And together they took the next step.

"Tom. She's waking up." Amelia and her husband were both at Imogen's bedside.

"Pumpkin. Imogen, wake up. Open your eyes, that's my girl."

"I love….Sweet… Const.. Constance."

Amelia couldn't stop the sob escaping her throat. She hadn't even begun to process what had happened in the past few hours.

"It's okay Pumpkin, you're going to be okay." Tom was in agony at the thought of what he was going to have to tell his daughter.

"Gone. I left. She's gone."

By this stage the doctors and nurses had come in to see to the patient. While they tended to Imogen she looked her father straight in the eye.

"She's dead Daddy."

Tom could only nod as he blinked away the tears.

"Well, she's a lucky woman. Considering what happened she's ended up with very minor injuries and the baby is completely unharmed."

Amelia had to bite her tongue to keep back the nasty response that she wanted to say. Lucky? Imogen had just lost the love of her life. The girls had lost their mother. She and Tom had lost who to them was their daughter. She kept it back even though there was thunder in her heart. Now was not the time, not when there were other things to concentrate on. Instead she made her way back into the room where her stepdaughter was laying with her hands on her stomach, twisting her wedding rings and staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Imogen. Abby has a broken arm which has been set. She lost consciousness for a short time after the accident but she will be okay. Ava is unharmed and with Jamie and Davina. They need to be told, Tom and I can do it but…"

"No. I have to do it. Can you bring them here please? I need to do it now."

Amelia smiled sadly and patted her arm. "Of course. I'll get them."

A couple of minutes later she returned carrying a crying Ava while Jamie pushed Abby in a wheelchair. There was a blank expression on the ten year old's face that nobody had ever seen before. She hadn't spoken a single word since the accident.

With a bit of help both girls were placed on the bed where their Mummy held them close. Ava was still sobbing while Abby looked straight ahead.

Imogen took a deep breath and looked to her father for support. "My babies. I'm so glad you're here. I love you so much. Honey, oh your poor arm. Granddad spoke to the doctor and she said you'll heal in no time but I know it's uncomfortable." She took another deep breath. "I need you to be brave girls now, more than you have ever been before because Mama. Oh God, I…. Mama's gone to heaven and and and. Oh I can't I…"

Tom was there straight away holding his sobbing daughter and his granddaughters. Abby still wasn't crying, just staring at nothing.

"She's gone to heaven but she loves you all so much. We're going to miss her forever but we're going to be strong for her. We're all here for you, we'll get through this. We love you."

Nobody slept that night. The hospital tried to be as supportive as they could and allowed the family to remain in Imogen's room. Stephen, Sarah and Davina all came but nobody knew what to do or to say, everyone was absolutely devastated.

After two days Abby and Imogen were discharged. Abby still hadn't spoken. A psychologist had tried to speak to her but to no avail. Her advice to Imogen was to wait a couple of days, this wasn't unusual after such a trauma. She was processing everything and trying to deal with what had happened in the only way she could right now.

"The main thing is she has support from her family. I cannot imagine how you are feeling Mrs Drill but please know there is support for you all."

Imogen nodded at the doctor but it meant nothing. She felt empty, no words would bring Constance back to them. Their lives would never be normal again. How could she comfort their daughters? Abby wasn't talking, Ava hadn't stopped crying for the past couple of days and was looking for "Mama" everywhere. It would have been heartbreaking if their hearts had not already been broken.

"Imogen. Where will we bring you?" Amelia gently asked the question as she packed the few items they had brought in for the girls.

After a moment she received an answer. "The castle. I need to be near her."

Once they were packed it as time to leave the hospital. Tom saw Abby freeze before getting in the car. This was her first car journey since the accident.

"Princess, I know you're scared but I promise I'll keep you safe."

She nodded and eventually, with her grandfathers help, got into the backseat with her mother and sister. She remained calm until she realised where they were going. Then for the first time in almost three days Abby spoke.

"No! No! Not there, not home. Not without Mama. She's dead, my Mama is dead. I want her. I want my Mama."

Tom pulled over carefully and opened the car door, allowing Abby to get out and vomit on the grass verge. Imogen exited the vehicle and held her now screaming daughter close.

"I know honey I know. Let it out. I'm here. I'm with you. I miss her so much but somehow, don't ask me how, I know that she's with us."

It was the truth. There was the vaguest memory in the back of her mind but she couldn't reach it, in fact she wasn't sure that she wanted to.

Together with Ava they sat at the side of the road and cried for over an hour. Eventually Imogen spoke.

"I know it's hard but we have to go home at some point. Afterwards we can go anywhere you want but right now I need to be around Mama's things. I need to smell her perfume, to touch her clothes so please be there with me. I need you both so much. I can't do this without you."

Abby sniffed into her sleeve. "We need you too Mummy. We'll go but don't leave me alone, I don't want to be without you either. I can't lose another mother. I thought you were…..

Imogen didn't know if she could cope, she couldn't even fathom what her innocent ten year old may have seen. She gathered every ounce of her strength and tried to keep her voice level.

"I won't honey, I swear. I know things happened and you saw terrible things you shouldn't have and when you're ready to talk I'm here, just like Granddad, Granny, Stephen and Jamie are. Promise me you won't hold things in."

"I want to talk but not just yet. I promise I won't bottle things up though."

Eventually they made it back to the castle. The students had been sent home until the school re-opened, whenever that would be. Unsurprisingly they were all devastated. It was eerie arriving back to the almost empty castle where Davina, Elizabeth, Gabrielle, Jamie and Stephen were all waiting. Nobody appeared to have slept for days, of course they hadn't.

"I've made some tea, it's in the staffroom." Davina held Imogen as tightly as she dared.

"Thank you. We need to go upstairs first. Come on girls."

"How can everything look so normal?"

That was Imogen's first thought after entering the bedroom. The bed that Constance had made was still perfect, her dressing gown was on it's hook, the book she had been reading was still on the nightstand. Alongside it was a framed photograph of the four of them from their summer holiday. She had expected it to be impossible to look at the image of her love. It was but it was also what she saw every time she closed her eyes.

Almost everything in the room was as it should be. There was only one thing missing.

"Oh Sweetheart. Why? Why now. How can we do this without you?"

Luckily Jamie had followed her was there to catch his best friend as her knees buckled underneath her. Gently he placed her on the bed where she immediately grabbed a pillow from the left hand side and inhaled.

"Lilacs. She always smelled of lilacs. Jamie? What am I going to do?" She paused to stroke her stomach, taking the smallest bit of comfort from the fact that a part of her wife was still inside her and that Constance had chosen this daughter's name with so much thought and love.

"I don't know Im, I wish I did. I'm with you though and you two girls as well. Every step of the way I'll be there."

The thought of what to come over the following days and weeks was overwhelming to Imogen. The funeral especially was something she couldn't face and had left to Tom and Amelia to begin to organise. Tom had also made the identification and assured Imogen that as the doctors said, it has been instant with no suffering. She just looked like she was asleep. He had also taken Constance's possessions, including her wedding rings but knew his daughter was not ready to receive them just yet.

Then there was the court case that would eventually happen. The man who had hit them was apparently an alcoholic who had been six times over the legal limit. Once he had sobered up he had been devastated but that was no use to anyone, he had killed the most important person in Imogen's world and nothing could bring her back.

What was haunting Tom especially was that less than a half a mile away there there had been a police checkpoint. Had his family taken a different route, been a few minutes later or heard Imogen's phone ring as he had tried to call her, none of this would have happened.

That evening Imogen stayed close to her daughters, neither wanting to leave her for a second, even following her to the bathroom. She forced herself to eat for the baby's sake but the toast stuck in her throat. She couldn't help remembering happier times when she and Constance were first going out and would eat magical toast in bed at night. How could she be gone forever? How? No more kisses, cuddles, dancing, laughter. This baby would never know her Mama, had never had the chance to be held in those wonderful arms, see that beautiful smile and receive those gentle kisses that she and the girls loved so much.

When was their last kiss? That morning or was it later? She had a vague recollection of a kiss but when had it been? "Oh baby please, please come back to me."

They had made love when? The night before the accid.., no she couldn't call it that. The night before it happened? Yes, she remembered they'd been in the shower. It had been quick but they had giggled and enjoyed the intimate moment. Constance had knelt down and kissed along the tiny bump while Imogen had stroked her hair and told her how much she wanted her.

"I should have been telling her how much I loved her. Showing her how much by ...Oh if I'd have known it would be the last time I'd never have let go. One person, that's what we said it felt like when we touched and it was. Never again. Oh, my beautiful Sweetheart."

People tried to be kind but nothing helped. Sarah arrived as did Fenella and Griselda, who wanted to do everything they could to help their old teacher and friend. Eventually it all became too much for Imogen who had to excuse herself and the girls. She felt suffocated and the only people she could stand to be near her right now were their daughters.

Ava had worn herself out. For any child this would be so traumatic but with her empathetic skills it was so much worse, if that was even possible. Right now she was sleeping fitfully with dried tear stains down her red cheeks. Without a hint of exaggeration they all knew that she had cried more in the past three days then in her entire fifteen months of living, and this was just the start of things.

And of course she was also going through an enforced, unwanted weaning. Constance had still been breastfeeding most mornings and evening, neither mother or daughter had been ready to stop. There were bottles in the freezer but it wasn't the same and Ava had refused to take one when it was offered. Her Mama was the only one who could give her what she needed. This raised even more thoughts for the already grief stricken Imogen.

"Who is going to teach her how to be a Witch? And this baby? They need the most powerful Witch any of us know. They need their Mama."

At one stage if someone had told her that she would have custody of Abby and not one, but two other children Imogen would have thought all her Christmases had come at once. But even though she had her girls and would do everything she could to stay strong for them, without Constance their family was shattered. She needed her partner, her wife. How could she get through the rest of her life without her? "A widow, not a wife anymore, I'm a widow."

Almost three years, that's what they had been given. In that time they had married and gained three daughters. For some it was a lifetime, for them never enough.

"I don't want to go to sleep Mummy because when I do, I wake up and it hits me again that she's gone. I miss her so much. I want her to cuddle me and tell me a story like she did whenever I couldn't sleep. I want her to chase our bad dream away."

Imogen wiped the tears that were falling down Abby's face. "I know honey but we have to sleep, even just for a few hours but when you wake up, if I'm asleep I want you to wake me. You're never on your own remember."

Abby nodded slowly. "Will you be able to sleep?"

"I don't know but I'm going to close my eyes and think of Mama."

"When you think of her, what's she doing?" Abby's eyes were growing heavy as she asked the question.

"She's holding me tight while I hold you and your sisters and she's stroking my hair and calling me Darling."

That fantasy stayed with Imogen as sleep found her. It had to. Right now, it was all that she had.