CHAPTER ONE
L2Max : Muahahahahahaha!
Kai : WHEE! Thanks for reading o-o;; Please tell us how it is, ne?
L2Max : We do not own Naruto…
Kai : If we did, Naruto and Sasuke would be all -chuu!-
L2Max : …o.o
Kai : Take note that there IS a lot of swearing in this fanfic. I have this... Issue with swearing every two seconds... So don't be bothered too much >.> If I saw you in real life I'd swear just as much... Anyway, one with the ficcy!
'Ding dooooooooong!'
"Hold on a minute, fuck!"
A girl about fourteen-years-old stood from where she sat on the couch and went to answer the door. She peered through the peep-hole to see who it was. Upon seeing her friend standing there, she opened the door.
"Hey Vi! Did you bring the Kingdom Hearts game?" asked Kai, letting the small girl enter into the warmth of her home.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm beginning to think you just invited me over for the game and not the company," Vi said, narrowing her eyes at her host.
"No, I like the company! Honest! But I'm curious about the game too, so there," Kai said, sticking her tongue out at her friend.
"Suuuuure…" Vi said, walking into the living room with her friend in tow. They popped the game into the system and waited for it to load.
"I'm getting some popcorn, Kai. Want anything?" Vi asked, standing up from her position on the floor and walking towards the direction of the kitchen.
"Errr… Soda would be great!" Kai yelled in her general direction.
WELCOME TO NARUTO WORLD! WOULD YOU LIKE TO ENTER?
-YES-
-NO-
"… Hey Vi!"
"What?" Vi asked, poking her head from the kitchen and tossing a soda at Kai, whom promptly caught it.
"Do you own a Naruto game? 'Cause this sure ain't Kingdom Hearts."
"What are you talking about?" Vi asked, looking at her friend incredulously.
"Well, come here, fuck!"
Vi scowled and glanced at the microwave where her popcorn was cooking before walking into the living room. Seeing Kai pointing at the screen, she had to take a double take.
"What the fuck!" Vi said, staring at the TV in disbelief.
"Told ya, fuck…" Kai said, opening her soda and taking a sip.
"Must be my bro… Try it out," Vi said, sitting down next her as Kai took the controller.
OKAY, ARE YOU SURE?
"What in fuckin' hell? I clicked yes, didn't I?" Kai said, glancing at Vi who just shrugged her shoulders.
YES? OKAY! GET READY.
BYEBYE!
Kai and Vi looked at each other before the TV turned into a massive black hole, sucking in everything around them.
"Fuck, Mom's going to have a fit…" Kai said.
"Damn straight…"
They were pulled into the massive hole. Throughout the entire neighborhood, you could hear a series of "HOLY SHIT!" and "FUCKIN' A!"
"Stupid kids and their wild parties…" said some random old guy down the street, narrowing his eyes while looking out the window.
In a forest nearby, you could see a young girl slowly coming back into the world of consciousness.
Poke.
Poke.
Poke.
Jab!
"What the?" Vi said, snapping her eyes open and slapping the hand away.
"I think she's alright..." said an unfamiliar voice.
Vi sat up, intent on looking around, but hit her head on the massive forehead of a girl and fell back into her lying position. Vi rubbed her head and slowly sat up again. What she saw, she never thought was possible.
It was team seven.
Her eyes widened as she looked at them.
"Who are you?"
Vi just stared, not quite believing that they were talking to her.
"Are you alright?"
Vi continued to stare her wide eyed stare.
"I think she's brain dead…"
"Shut it, you brooding emo!" Vi screamed, finally coming to her senses.
Sasuke twitched. "KATON: RYUU---"
"HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
"KAI!" Vi screamed, running off towards wherever the cursing came.
Cancel? Team seven thought.
"Oh fuck… My head…" Kai said, grabbing her head and sitting up.
"Hn… She seems okay," a deep voice stated.
"Her springtime of youth is not broken! YOSH!"
"Very good, Lee!"
"GAI-SENSEI!"
"LEE!"
Kai suddenly found herself looking at a sunset above the crashing of waves, where two very unstylish men in green stood atop a bunch of rocks.
She twitched.
"Break it up you two..."
Kai's eyes widened considerably as she stared at who stood before her.
"Hey Neji… She has your eyes…"
Kai continued her stare, her eyes going back and forth between the four people.
"You're crazy, TenTen. She has pupils."
She continued her shocked stare, coming up to pinch herself in the arm. Yeah… That hurt.
"YOSH! WHAT IS YOUR NAME BLOOMING FLOWER OF SOMEWHERE!" screamed Lee.
"Oh. My. Fucking. God," Kai breathed. "You're the Hyuuga Neji," she said incredulously, pointing towards the scary teen. "And you're TenTen, the weapon master," she, again, pointed towards said individual. "And you're the taijutsu masters…" she ended, pointing at the green clad men.
They all nodded to her, confused as to how she knew each of their names and abilities.
"HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
Team Gai quickly covered their ears as Kai continued screaming out random profanities. Not far in the distance, you could see a cloud of dust quickly coming their way.
"MOVE! I CAN'T STOP!" screamed the dust cloud, coming towards the group at a rapid speed.
Kai stopped her cursing rampage to look at what all the noise was about.
"VIVIAAAAAAAAN!" Kai yelled happily, noticing her best friend was coming at her. "FUCKIN' A'!" She quickly ducked out of the way as Vi zoomed passed her.
"Baika no Jutsu!" Vi ran straight into something soft before bounding off backwards.
"Vi!"
Moving quickly, Kai jumped and grabbed her friend before she hit the ground.
"Kage bunshin no jutsu!"
They both were cushioned before they both landed onto the dirt floor with a dull thud. The smell of ramen hitting their noses, they immediately stood up. Before them stood the nine rookies and Gai's team staring intently at them.
"Hey, who are you, dattebayo?" a familiar blonde asked.
"Hey Vi," whispered Kai, ignoring the comment.
"Yeah?" she whispered back.
"This is... FUCKING AWESOME!" Kai screamed out, smiling brightly as the twelve around them jumped out of their skin.
"Are they real?" Vi asked, poking Naruto in the cheek, only to have her hand batted away. "Yeah, they're real..."
"Daaaaaaamn... Look at his eyebrows! They really are fuzzy!" Kai said, moving to touch them.
"Don't! You might lose your finger in their depths," Vi said, glaring at the eyebrows as if it were their fault. Lee unconsciously went to rub at his eyebrows.
"But, but, but... They aren't that fuzzy, are they!" Lee said. "OH GAI-SENSEI! WHERE HAVE I GONE WRONG IN YOUR TEACHINGS!" Lee's waterfall of tears began as Kai and Vi choose to ignore Mr. Fuzzy Eyebrows.
"... Ya know, Naruto and Sasuke are a lot hotter in person," Kai said, cocking her head to the side as if that would help her get a better view.
Vi cocked her head to the side too. "They are. And they look so cute standing together!" she squealed, clasping her hands together and resting them against her cheek.
Kai did the same. "They're a lot cuter couple in person!" she exclaimed, moving to pinch Naruto's cheek.
"Wha... What the hell, dattebayo!" Naruto said, slapping her hand away and rubbing his cheek.
Sasuke's eyebrow twitched insesently. "What the hell do you mean by couple?" he asked through clenched teeth.
Kai and Vi both raised an eyebrow. "Ya know, like 'I love you, now let's fuck' type of couple?" Kai said, pushing both of her pointing fingers together.
"Care to repeat that?" Sasuke asked, clenching his fists at his sides.
"I said," Kai repeated. "That we meant the 'I love you, now let's fuck' type of couple." Vi and her made various hand gestures as to what they meant.
Sasuke narrowed his glare and he made to start a jutsu.
"Hnnn... What should we do next?" Kai mumbled as Vi shrugged, looking at Sasuke in a suspicious kind of way.
"I know! Let's go meet the old geezer!" Kai said, hauling her best friend to her feet. "Leave on one. Two. THREE!" Kai yelled as Vi and her took off in a mad dash.
"KATON: RYUUKA NO JUTSU!"
"YAY! Second time almost getting fried by the brooding emo!" Vi screamed, Kai and her running in the direction of Konoha.
Sasuke cursed and chased after them, Naruto chasing after Sasuke, Sakura chasing after Naruto, and everyone else chasing so they wouldn't get left behind.
"Oh fuck... How do we get through the gates?" asked Kai, running faster as she saw them all right on their heels.
"Errr... Remember that one chapter where the sandaime used that earth wall thingy?" Vi asked, glancing over her shoulder.
"Oh yeah, I remember that," she said. "But how the fuck do you expect me to do that!" Kai asked her incrediously.
"Errr... Just do the flippin' hand signs, would you?" Vi said to her impatiently.
After a fast flurry of hand signs, Kai felt something strange building up inside of her.
"Doton: Doryuheki (Earth Release: Earth Style Wall)!" Kai screamed as mud began spewing from her mouth and solidifying into a slanted ramp up the gates.
"Dude, that is so nasty..." Vi said to her, grimacing.
"Yeah, you should try it sometime," Kai said, spitting and glaring at Vi before running up the ramp, Vi following suit. Halfway up they saw the guards trying to stop them from getting into the village.
"This is just fuckin' fabulous," Kai said, not being able to slow down at all.
A/H : WHOO! Okay, that was chapter one! We're pretty sure we got all the technique names spelt correctly. If we didn't, feel free to drop a review and tell us.
First off, Kai and Vi are real people. This entire fanfiction is based off of those two. Kai is the co-writer/editor and Vi is an idea... person thing. L2Max decided she didn't want to be in the ficcy for whatever reason. o-o;;
Kai and Vi are YAOI WHORES, so there will be a lot of mentioning of yaoi/shounen-ai. There won't be anything graphic or whatever because I'd die of bloodloss o-o;; But, there will be mentioning of Sasuke/Naruto and other various couples. They won't actually get together (I think o-o;;) but Kai and Vi have a tendancy to bring up things. You no likey, fuck off.
That's all we have to say... If you want, please review. If you want to flame, go ahead.