A/N- Hi! sorry for the late update! I hope you enjoy this!
S
In Natasha's dreams, late at night, her bedroom walls are bright red. They slowly drip down. She can never tell whose blood it is that's falling on her face. The wind outside her window is screaming, her wrangled voice mingling with the wailing she used to hum lullabies to. She used to enjoy it.
Drip. Her ledger is staining again. Scarlet paint is filling her mouth and drowning her. She did this.
To herself.
In Natasha's dreams, this is not her room. It's piled with many other beds and girls and shackles. For she is not Natasha. That is not her name, was never her name. In Natasha's dreams, she is Natalia. She is the Widow. She is the best and she likes it that way.
She doesn't have a choice… if she did, would she make the same choice? Preposterous! Who doesn't like being the best?
This part of herself is disgusting. She dreads it every night. But she'll cling on to it.
Because as terrifying as dreams are… Natasha Romanov knows better than anyone (perhaps even more than Natalia Romanova) that reality is so, so, so much worse.
….
Luna never gets dreams. Or at least she thinks she doesn't. She's glad because the girls who do get dreams are very audible and Luna doesn't ever see them for quite some time after. She knows they're getting punished, but they deserve it don't they? For disrupting everyone's rest and being selfish and allowing things so silly like dreams to affect themselves.
All her creatures seem to like dreams, especially those pesky Wrackspurts. (Luna says they're hers but they really aren't. She's just figured out by now that only she can see them. Maybe if they weren't so blind…)
But anyway, it surprises Luna when she finally does have dreams. They're rather pleasant, aren't they?
She dreams of gods and monsters and animals out of control. She dreams of the beautiful spiders, so striking, so dangerous, but they die one by one. But the most glorious, most devastating of them all is the people. Especially the one with blood red on her golden ledger.
.…
Everything is just as she remembers, silvery handcuffs, white washed sheets, concrete floors, low ceilings with bright lights and, best of all, those faceless girls. The Widow almost smiles, sometimes she envisions herself tucked into one of those coffins with her wrist chained to the headboard- it's a comforting familiarity that scares her.
The widow spider sits and waits, she grins and has the others weave her web of lies. In the end it all comes back to her anyways. She can feel every hum, every vibration. And when she can finally sense that snag, that struggle, only then will she claim her victim. Only then will she devour. She'll maybe flash the warning of Red, promises that only keep them coming. Then she can save her young.
The black widow is venomous, deadly, striking and beautiful! Its presence is enthralling. Maybe she'll embrace them, coddling them to an endless sleep, tucking them into her network of webs upon webs upon webs! She'll paralyse them, sink her teeth into your lies, and liquefy you from the inside out. Oh, but she's merciful, she'll give them a kiss, she won't even let them say goodbye. A death full of regrets- how delicious. Her hourglass of red sands trickle, her wink warns them their time is almost up...
SNAP! None of this matters. They're all gone.
S
Today, will be like any other day. She will lounge around Stark tower and check for more Red Room possible places. They've relocated several times since her last ambush.
"Hey, still school hunting?" Ugh, Stark. "You know, if you get expelled, they're not gonna take you back."
Coffee. Natasha needs coffee. Now.
"Thought you were the best. Guess not. Although," He pauses for an annoying effect, "Keyword: 'were', so past tense which means I'm still right."
Natasha gets her coffee. She sips it silently. "I am the best…" she says after a while, "It's just, they made the best." She leaves. Natalia is too busy for this.
….
It's later that day that Natasha has her first encounter with Red Room in years. Actually, it's Clint that sees her first.
They're on 'city patrol', something both her and Clint have started doing since the Battle of New York - it never means anything really. It just makes them feel safer when the city is in their hands, not the hands of some government nut-case. "Nat," He says through the earpiece, "You're gonna wanna get over 'ere. Like now."
So she does, she's almost too late when she arrives at the alleyway. She recognises the moves, the stance, the look in her eyes every time she looks in the mirror, there's a girl here that's exactly the same.
"Don't think of them as people with lives, they threw that away the moment they crossed HYDRA." Natalia remembers every lesson her trainers taught her. The same one that girl is using now as she's going in for the kill.
"Wait, she needs to complete the mission." She whispers to Clint. He flinches but he understands. They don't think like the others.
So they watch as a child kicks the man whose eyes widen and who begs for mercy. The child pounces and snaps his neck. No hesitations, no looking into their eyes. Just like they told Natasha when she was a child. The girl proceeds to stuff the man into a bin. She dials a number, and scampers off.
"Is it them?" Clint asks, always straight to the point.
"It's them. And she's good Clint. She looks about nine; most of the girls start missions when they're about nine but they usually only start kill missions at fourteen. She's like me and Belova. She's fast-tracked, she looks like a good candidate for Black Widow."
He nods. "Let's just tail her for now."
"Right. Let's go. The Academy will come to pick up the body soon."
….
Luna knows she's being watched but she can't see them. Either way she has to complete the mission. She hears a female voice saying to complete the kill. Like she needs telling!
She lunges for the man - no… target - and listens to the snap of his neck.
It's a hollow kind of feeling that Luna ignores. She's never actually had her kill a person before. Sure they've had her practice on fish, then mice, then dogs… so this shouldn't be any different than killing and eating that cat she looked after for a week. It's just the job. So she pushes down the heavy, unreasonable feeling down her chest and stuffs him into the designated pick up point. He's an enemy of HYDRA anyways - he has to be bad. (Luna tries not to think about how everyone at HYDRA have their heads infested with Wrackspurts whereas this man has a few but not many.)
Then she phones Madame Yelena.
"Luna? The mission."
"He's there, I just need to take care of something first."
"What is it? I don't want a repeat of your first mission, Luna. There'll be consequences."
"It's nothing, just some Nargles." Luna lies.
"Okay," Madame Yelena's confused, she can tell. But she's more than a little used to Luna's 'nonsense' by now. "Be here in at least twenty-four hours, or you make your own way back to the Academy. That is all." She hangs up.
….
It takes three seconds for Luna to realize who's behind her and two more second to realize they're following her. She keeps her pace steady and keeps taking lefts through the street, just like the academy taught her. But… there are Avengers behind her!
Black Widow and Hawkeye are getting closer and as much as she is curious about them and their ways (because isn't evil such a curious thing?) she really mustn't get caught. Maybe she should hide... Luna turns left down a dead end. She doesn't want any innocent passer-by to get hurt of course, in case things should go sideways.
Luna stops and crouches into a defensive position behind a line of bins. She closes her eyes.
One step. Two step. Three steps.
...
The girl keeps turning lefts, of course Natasha recognises the pattern- she's done it at least a thousand times. She turns into an alleyway. To get away from the populous, Natasha realizes. She's still got some sort of moral compass; so Red Room went for the Hydra is good tactic, not the killing people is good... She can work with that.
Natasha motions to Clint to target from above. Just in case.
"Are you sure?" He mouths back.
"Don't underestimate her."
So he doesn't (underestimate her that is).
Natasha doesn't bother to hide her footsteps. Red Room girls are too good for that.
She stops in front of one of those big food waste bins. The girl is what she'd expect; in a low crouch, black hoodie and tracksuit bottoms, a small knife in hand and her eyes c-closed..? Is she, scared or something? Natasha hesitates, relaxes a bit even.
The girl strikes, dropping a feint to her knee, Natasha only just dodges. They're both throwing knives, kicking, punching and dodging in a synced rhythm, it looks like some sort of interpretive dance. Her eyes are still closed though, Natasha realises. Expectedly, Natasha overpowers the kid. She tries to run, but of course, Clint is there.
The girl is leaping onto the bins and windowsills and is just about to jump onto the fire escape when Clint shoots her out of the air with a tranquilizer arrow.
Then something unexpected happens. She's falling to the ground. Time seems to slow. She stops falling just before she hits the pavement... (like gravity is on pause). Then she slumps to the floor.
"Got anything like that up your sleeve Nat?" Clint asks after a moment.
"No, let's bring her back to the Stark's. Go through the nest."
"Should we contact Fury?" He asks hesitant. "Cause that was some alien shit right there."
"Not now."
...
When the kid wakes up the first thing she says is, "Did you know you have Nargles everywhere here?"
"What?" Says Clint. Natasha glares at him. He ignores her. "Jesus, what have they got you on!? This one's definitely a nutcase."
"Well currently," the girl looks around, "I'm on this chair." She says. She's not afraid that she's against some of HYDRA's worst enemies?! "It's rather uncomfortable, would you mind tying me to something with a cushion instead?"
Her accent is weird, a mix of Russia and Ireland- where she was from? - Natasha doesn't ignore any of the nonsense coming out of her mouth. Is it some sort of code?
"You're HYDRA." She says, because, how does one go about interrogating a little girl? She was only ever on the other side of the table.
"Yes and you're evil. Madame Yelena says so... Wait! You're Black Widow! Madame Yelena sometimes says that I- actually I can't tell you." She pauses for a moment. "You want to know what a Nargle is don't you."
The Widow contemplates for a seconds. "Yeah kid, tell me." Natasha tries to put on a friendly face, she doesn't feel like torturing stuff out of a kid, not yet, not today.
"Mmm... Well, it's a creature which steals things, only I can see them. Madame Yelena doesn't think they exist though. And..." She whispers this part, "They live in mistletoe!"
Clint, behind her, chuckles. "Yeah, okay kid. Now cut the crap. What the hell was that stunt you pulled back there? Has HYDRA been running they're messed up experiments?" his tone softens, sometimes Natasha forgets he has kids too. "You can tell us, we're the good guys."
The girl giggles. "You aren't very good at listening are you?"
Natasha sighs, this isn't going anywhere. What's HYDRA's new angle? Confusion?
"Look! A blibbering humdinger!"
She hears Clint sigh too. They'll try again later.
L.
The Black Widow and the Hawkeye have not hurt her yet. Luna takes this as a good sign, but she won't let her guard drop. It's funny though… they don't seem evil. But, Luna thinks she can't really talk (well, she can… it's a metaphor), after all, it's not like she seems deadly either. There's another strange thing (yes, even stranger than her), Luna recognises almost all the Black Widow's moves to be the same utterly unique style that Red Room has taught her. It's a little more refined and polished and deviated but still there.
So, even as Luna knows she's prattling on and on about Dirigible Plums and Crumple Horned Snorkacks (that are only exclusive to Sweden), confusing them, she studies their expressions, all their little movements. They're the best it seems.
Both the Black Widow and Hawkeye, and Luna and the Black Widow.
Come to think of it, hasn't she heard the term Widow before? She has, hasn't she!
….
Frustrating as it is that they can't seem to break the girl (they don't want her broken, just re-assembled), Natasha can't help but feel a little smug about her would be protégé.
Of course Clint notices. He takes it as challenge.
Neither of them suggest contacting Fury again. Maybe they should but, they only trust each other.
….
After approximately twenty hours, the girl finally says something that makes sense.
"Madame Yelena said that I would be a good Widow too." She says suddenly. Her airy demeanour evaporates. "I think she forgot our arch enemy is called a Widow as well." She hums curiously.
Natasha turns to Clint. "The truth?" he asks.
"The truth." She says.
The girl looks completely serious when she says, "I am telling the truth, and if you'll excuse me. I really must be going. Could you untie me please?"
Clint just snorts.
H
HYDRA's enemies are about to deliver her the truth. Luna's surprised she broke them that easily… weren't they supposed to be the best?
They go about it weirdly.
First, the Black Widow asks her why she works for HYDRA. Of course she answers because they are good and obviously, they will change the world!
Then she asks Luna why she thinks they (Luna's interrogators) are bad. Because they are enemies of HYDRA and work for SHIELD, right? And, SHIELD is evil and corrupt.
Why is SHIELD evil and corrupt? Luna's never really thought about why before. It just is. Because it is HYDRA's enemy, that's why. (Luna has a great answer!)
Why is HYDRA good? Because it will change the world. How? Well… Luna doesn't quite know yet.
And then they stop questioning her and they tell her.
HYDRA is bad. SHIELD is good. Luna doesn't quite believe them… why should she? Why is SHIELD good? How? SHIELD will protect the world. But the Black Widow and Hawkeye don't look very sure of it themselves- Luna says as much.
And why's HYDRA bad? They saved her, sheltered her, taught her, and fed her. HYDRA is generous and merciful and kind. (HYDRA is good and will save the world.) NO THEY AREN'T! HYDRA IS EVIL AND WILL NOT CHANGE BUT DESTROY! HYDRA steals and pillages, starts wars, kills millions! HYDRA is not kind or merciful or generous, it is none of those things.
Doesn't she want to know why she had to kill a human being? End a life? Ruin so many? Yes! Luna wants to know all these things but she's far too curious. The ones who ask questions always end up dead… Luna knows better than to do this.
The people at HYDRA have too many Wrackspurts around their minds that they begin to look like Nargles- Nargles which take and take and take. The people at HYDRA have beaded, greedy eyes and abrasive tongues. The people at HYDA have a seductive smile and a lilting voice. But what makes Luna most curious is that the enemies of HYDRA (like The Black Widow, like Hawkeye, like the man she's just murdered) have none of these things.
She hopes the same can apply for her but, who knows?
Luna allows herself to cry today, the Black Widow (Natalia, isn't it?) offers no comfort. Luna almost wishes she does but, alas she understands, they must not be weak. Then when her eyes feel hot and sandy and burnt out and her head quakes in protest, Luna blinks slowly. She nods her head because she knows the truth now.
...
Later, when she's escaped (she knows they let her) it hits her. She almost stops running but she has a quinjet to catch. Does she really want to go back to that place? She frowns, what if they change her mind again? No... The easiest way to defend from Wrackspurts is to recognise when they're around. Nargles too. "HYDRA is bad." she says one last time - just to assure herself.
She stops. She's at the pick-up point.
There's a warm gust of gasoline scented wind and the transportation shimmers into view.
She can do this.
Luna smiles. Just first, she needs some dirigible plums.
...
When the girl has left, Natasha smiles. It's surprisingly really, how well she's handled it (She usually tells lies, not the whole truth. Perhaps half-truths would have been easier...).
The girl was inherently good, Natasha supposes that it made it better.
Natalia's ruined so many lives, including her own. Natasha has to fix everything, clean up her ledger, slowly at least.
Because Natalia isn't the best anymore, Natasha is... And a little girl called "The Moon" (which is what the child calls herself anyhow).
"Shit!" exclaims Clint, "we forgot to ask about the magic."
Natasha rolls her eyes, "Next time we will. I don't think she would have told us anyways… she's much cleverer than that."
One thing ensures the Black Widow's smile.
Red Room will pay.
A/N- Thank you for reading. If you liked this, please comment and maybe a favourite? Yeah okay... never mind -_-'
Mercia xxx