Harvest Moon: Magical Melody
Queen of Hearts
One sunny Tuesday Afternoon, I used this time off to visit that girl at the Sanatorium, which became a habit some time after it was built.
As usual, that blue-haired Nurse with braids greeted me at the door.
"Good Afternoon, Kurt!" she said to me in soft enthusiasm.
For reasons I don't quite understand, she was always happy when I came to visit her patient.
"Good afternoon, Gina..." I muttered.
"You've come to see Dia again, I assume?" she asked in a suggestive tone.
I simply nodded my head.
"Of course." the Nurse grinned cheerfully. "I'm just really glad to see Dia starting to make friends in Flower Bud Village! Considering how shy she can be around strangers, I was worried it would take forever, but you two really hit it off so easily!"
Oh. So that's why she's always so chipper whenever she sees me.
"Of course, the new farmer is a different story." she continued. "Dia practically fled from poor Jack when they first met, but he seems to be working his way up. I think they've even started conversing on a regular basis now!"
Jack, huh? That guy left an interesting impression on me. He reminds me of a milder version of my brother, Joe, but at the same time, I sense there's something a bit off-kilter about him. For somebody like him to get close to Dia... I 'm concerned.
"That contemplative look on your face! I wonder... are you jealous?"
"No, it's nothing like that." I tried to assure her.
But then she gave this "Are you sure?" look. Honestly, I wasn't. It's just that if someone like suddenly Jack gets too friendly with her, he just might be even worse than Dan...
After I expressed my personal discomfort with the look she gave me, Gina gave me a nod of confirmation... I think.
"Okay, if you say so." Gina grinned. "Anyway, I guess I better get of your way now. It's a shame we can't get a proper chance to no each other, but you have your priorities, right?"
The happy nurse let out a giggle of pleasure before finally letting me in and up the stairs.
Once I reached the Second Floor, I immediately laid eyes on that raven-haired beauty as she was sitting down and starring off into space. She was always a quiet woman, but then again, I was always a quiet man. I think that's why we can communicate so well.
I admit that when I first heard a sickly girl of aristocracy was coming to our village, I thought she would be an imposing little princess, but I'm glad to find out otherwise.
When I finally took my first step towards Dia, those emerald eyes of her looked towards me as she smiled.
"Hello, Kurt..." she called to me gently.
I responded with a nod and grunt.
This was always the way we exchanged greetings, so she was perfectly fine with my reaction.
"Are you doing well... with your job? Is everything okay?" she asked me.
"Thanks for your concern, but you don't have to worry about me. I can handle myself, you know. I'm sturdy enough..."
"Ah, right. Of course." Dia answered with a blush on her cheeks.
I don't really understand it, but she always worries about me like that.
I then took a glance at the table and saw a bowlful of blueberries before turning my attention towards Dia again.
"Blueberries, right? I believe these are your favorite"
Dia nodded in confirmation.
"I'm sorry I couldn't pick you some for today's visit. Work kept me busy for a while, so I didn't have time."
It's sad, but true. Yesterday, Woody kept me up with extra strenuous work, so I was really tired last night. I ended up sleeping through this whole morning as well.
"It's okay. I wouldn't want you to worry me over a few blueberries." Dia said with a relieved smile.
"So... were these from that farmer?" I asked, deciding to go for the straightforward approach.
"Yes, actually." She then gave me a suspicious glance, which followed with a glance towards the floor, and finished by giving me a blank stare.
"I see. So Gina told you about Jack's frequent visits." she said with a sigh.
I didn't have to react at all. Dia was sure this was the case, and she was right. I don't know how, but she really knows Gina as well as she knows Dia.
"Yes... she did. And I'm wondering what's been going on during these visits." I told her coolly.
"Now you're the one who's being too concerned." Dia retorted with a grin." Honestly, it's okay. Jack's really a nice guy. Just not in the way the rumors make him out to be."
It figures. Normally, I never bothered to believe in village gossip, but I've seen how easily he befriended some the women around. He somehow accomplished this too easily.
"He's just trying to make some friends in this village. When he first saw how I reacted, he's been very careful around me. Although recently, he's been more casual around me. I actually like this side of him." she explained.
She was interesting sight. By the twinkle in her eyes, it felt like she had found an interesting discovery.
"I couldn't really tell when I first met him, but we're alike... in subtle ways. I also have a feeling that if you got to know him, you'd find some common ground with Jack, as well..." Dia added.
This is a shock. She's actually comparing me to the new farmer? Especially when I had compared him to Joe sometime ago? This strange impression made me curious.
"Are you serious?"
"I'm not joking. Jack actually had the same reaction when I told him about you, and he reacted by laughing in amusement. But when he started thinking about it, my opinion hit him pretty hard. I don't think he did it consciously, but when he considered what I said, he made this facial expression identical to your softer expression." Dia replied.
"I see... so then he really is your friend, now?"
"Yes. He's an interesting person and a thankfully decent friend." she answered.
She sounded fond of this new friendship, but it wasn't like the way she spoke of Doctor Alex, like a brother she has just come to know.
It felt closer to how she would speak about Gina, minus the occasional detail of familial embarrassment.
I then looked back at the blueberries, and how she enjoyed their taste in her mouth.
"So... is he aware these are your favorite?" I asked while trying carefully not to sustain the feeling of an interrogation.
"Again, yes... he's been foraging a few things and offering a portion to his closer friends. He's been giving the herbs to his best friend, Doctor Alex, and he gives me a portion of his blueberries while saving the rest for another reason... until recently..." Dia said. Her voice trailed off at the end with worry.
"Was this other reason special to him?" I asked curiously.
Dia nodded. "Not too long ago... he "apologized for not giving me more of the blueberries sooner", right before telling me that he disliked the taste of blueberries... and confessing that he was foraging them for the new gift shop owner, Lyla..."
Lyla? That knickknack woman? I had thought people would stay away from her with Jamie hovering around her. But then again, I've heard she's been making a few friends without being hindered. Sort of like Jack, actually...
"But then he found out that she loved Pink Cat flowers more... on the same day that our botanist Basil presented her one. He later discovered Louis' feelings for him, along with Lyla's own feelings. He decided it would be best if he helped set up their relationship instead..."
She looked really bothered about further details, so I didn't bother forcing them out. I could already tell she's deeply concerned about that farmer's condition.
"That farmer... he actually shared all of this with you?"
Dia nodded slowly. "I think I'm the only one that knows. Everybody else isn't treating him differently. He's just trying to move on with his work as usual without giving anybody grief. He just smiles at me like it was nothing..."
...but he's still not okay, I felt her saying to herself.
This is the deepest concern for another I've ever felt from her. It was strange. While part of me felt further away from her by just a margin, I was glad to feel this kind of compassion from her.
In some way, she appealed more to me. She was more beautiful to me, and it was because I saw this selflessness in her heart. It was like she was a subtle blessing to those could approach her with an open heart... and I certainly wasn't an exception.
However, I still wasn't sure who it was her heart cried for the most.
"Dia... do you... love Jack?"
Dia gave me a wistful gaze. I felt a strange sensation from when our eyes met. She must be scanning my heart to understand the exact kind of answer I seek.
"...No..." she answered with quiet fortitude. "Actually, I---"
At that moment, Gina and the Doctor slowly made their way up the stairs. As soon as they made it at the top with the two of us, I knew it was time to go.
"Alright... I suppose I better leave now." I uttered allowed as I made my way towards the stairs.
For a brief moment, I noticed Dia withdraw as she laid eyes on the Doctor. There a meaningful look in her eyes that I took quick note of.
Afterwards, I stopped right by the Doctor with a few parting words.
"Be sure to take special care of her, alright?"
The Doctor nodded with a slight quiver, and Gina simply giggled.
Finally, I took leave of the Sanatorium and head out towards the might.
.At that point, it was pretty clear to me who Dia had her heart set on.
A few seasons later, I found Dia talking a stroll through the woods, just when I was about to take a break from sanding wood and cutting down trees. Lately, she's been heading outside more often, but considering her condition, I couldn't help but worry about this a little. Still, I suppose the air should do her some good.
I decided to join her on this particular occasion, mostly because I felt there was more to her recent trips outside than to get a breath of fresh air. When I finally got to her, I noticed a subtle hint of suppressed tears.
Dia froze upon seeing me. For the first time ever, she was actually intimidated by my presence. I knew it had little to do with the stern way I looked at her, and more to do with what was eating her up in the inside.
"You're having those hallucinations again, aren't you?" I asked in slight agitation.
Dia nodded slowly as a few tears trickled down her cheeks.
"I...I..."
Her body trembled uncontrollably, almost to the point of convulsions. I decided to go in and hold her. I was okay with being a shoulder to cry on for this woman, but I'm not Gina. I'm not the kind of person who will coddle people back into comfort.
"I... saw her again... that other "me" from the mansion... I swore I would never become her... that maid that was also Gina is trying to help me despite her constant abuse, but I... I feel my thoughts starting to match this darker "me"... I've even been acting out against "my" Gina, but I... I want it to stop! I don't want to be mean to her anymore, but I feel the one from the mansion trying to take over me!" she cried in a panic.
"I don't want to become her! I want to stay myself!"
She started crying hard at this point. I know how much she's hurting right now... I know how much she's suffering, but I couldn't stand this display of weakness. I know how hard she's fighting this, but I still thought she gave in too easily.
"Dia, you're just overstressed." I told her in a rational tone. "I'm assuming everybody's been a little busy with work lately, so you're probably being frustration with being left alone. I can understand... that you're afraid of abandonment..."
"Still, I shouldn't be acting that way... and I can hear the voice of my other self more often. She knows who I am, she knows what I'm thinking... and I don't know how long I can hold her off... she says I'm a bad person, just like her. Even when I know it's wrong, she's urging me to do bad things to my Gina, like with the things she does to her's... I... I don't deserve her kindness..." she uttered with a quivering voice.
"Dia, don't think that. I can understand why you'd see her as a maid in your vision. She's been doing a lot for you all this time, but you know she isn't being forced into doing it. She's being nice to you because she wants to. I don't mind being with you, either, so everything's okay. You're not forcing this out of anyone." I assured her.
"N-no... I'm a bad person!" she cried.
But that, of course, was ridiculous. Anyone who could see this ugly side of themselves and feel guilty about it couldn't be a bad person. Apparently, even she has a hard time recognizing the subtle kindness she possesses.
Then again, I was actually like that once. I had a few conflicts with Joe that left me feeling dirty. Of course, I never really got around talking about that sort of thing. They're in the past, anyway, so they don't matter to me so much.
I had to sigh. Of course she was sensitive at that moment, but I couldn't leave her in a state of delirium.
"You're not a bad person." I nearly shouted. "Everyone's still okay with you. Gina herself told me that she's more than happy to support you in this time of trouble, Doctor Alex told me you're doing fine. And I've even talked with Jack about this. He agrees with me that you're not going bad at all."
"You... don't understand...it's like my mind's tearing apart... I'm---"
"You're too kind." I finished for her. "Are worrying about returning everyone's kindness, aren't you?"
She then gazed at me with a glimmer of hope mixed in with her personal confusion.
"Please don't look at me like that. Everyone's trying their hardest to look out for you. Just don't let them down. Stay strong, got it?"
Dia nodded. She barely smiled in relief, but at least I know we're making progress.
"Good. The moment you give in will be the day won't forgive you. And I don't want that to happen. I'm not sure how the Doctor feels about this, but I'm sure Gina and Jack feel the same way." I explained.
Dia nodded again. She then paused for a moment when she thought about something, but she felt she had to ask it anyway. It was the same question she asked me since her visions came up.
"Kurt, do you think... I'm going insane?"
"For the last time, no. I told you, it's just stress that's doing this to you. Sometimes we have these strange fantasies when we're overwhelmed, but it's nothing to be too concerned about."
As she heard this, Dia stared off into space for a minute. "That's funny. Doctor Alex told me something like that, too, except he sounded more professional. I find your version for convincing, for some reason..."
If I were the type of person to do so, I would've laughed at that moment. Of course, this was a serious moment, and I'm not that sort of person. However, Dia herself made a faint chuckle after that comment. I guess she hasn't completely lost her sense of cheer... which is a good sign.
"I still remember Jack and Lyla's wedding a while back. Doctor Alex felt proud to be the best man, and Gina was ecstatic when se got to be his escort. They looked almost as happy as the bride and groom themselves." she said with a sigh.
"I see. So you haven't said anything yet, have you?"
"Well, I didn't have to say much to Gina. She knows, but she doesn't pick up on how much he loves her. We have a few friendly arguments over the issue, but she doesn't believe me. She's trying to convince me to admit my feelings too, but I know I don't deserve him. She's the one who always helps him. She's the one who always admired him, and she's the one he loves, anyway. I'm thankful for what he's done for me all this time, but in the end, I'm just his patient in the end. I' m not useful to anyone. I'm just---"
"Please stop heading towards that mindset."
I felt frustration with her as I said that, but I actually said it aloud with feeling. It was just... as long as she was feeling crummy, I knew I couldn't remain frank with her.
"You love him, don't you? Doctor Alex, I mean..."
Dia looked silently at me like she did in the previous parts of this conversation, among others. We always shared a few silent glances at least a few times when we were deep in thought during a conversation, but it never got on our nerves. Thank goodness for that. I'm not used to giving or receiving excessive chatter like my brother.
Once again, Dia nodded silently as she let out an anxious breath.
"Then Gina's right. You should at least say something to that Doctor about your feelings. Even with his profession, he still has a right to now." I told her.
"What's the use? I know how he feels about Gina! It'll be likely that he'll just dismiss my feelings, or maybe it'll look like I'm trying to steal him away from her, and he'll hate me! I know she's encouraging me to say something, but it still feels like I'm going behind her back when she doesn't know his feelings for her!" she cried. "She deserves him! I don't want to ruin that!"
"Dia, these are your feelings you're dealing with. Not hers, or his. You're the only one who can resolve your problem." I told her solemnly. "If there was any time to put yourself above everybody else, it would be this time."
"...but... but I..."
"Honestly, you're way too kind." I said again, but this time I had a smile on my face.
"Kurt?"
"It's clear to me you aren't ready to admit it, so just be patient. Wait for the right moment. I'm not going to urge you like Gina does, because I don't want you to be more pressured than you already are. These hallucinations are taking an unnecessary toll on you."
"I... don't know how long I can keep it a secret." Dia confessed.
"Then don't wait until you implode. You'll know the right time to confess. You're really perceptive."
Dia then looked at me like she was about to fall apart. Of course, I couldn't allow this to happen, so I instinctively held her tighter.
"Dia... your feelings... they don't make you a bad person. It's okay to go along with what you feel sometimes." I advise red her.
"...Kurt... why... are you telling me this?" she asked.
I think she saw something in my heart, but if that's true, she misunderstood it.
"Don't be silly. It's because I care about you... a lot..."
That is the simple truth. I'm not being a hypocrite or anything in what I said to her, because I know that's exactly what she should do. I care deeply about her. It can even be said that I love her, but not in that mushy way like everyone associates the word with. I don't have this strong desire to make her mine. In fact, I could care less who she wanted to "belong" to, as long as she was fine and happy, I'll be okay with it.
But what Dia had for the Doctor WAS that kind of love. And from what I've heard, it can become really destructive on a person if left unchecked.
"Kurt... you don't have to do this..."
"I'm not doing anything. I'm sacrificing anything. Go ahead and look at me again. See what it is you want to know." I insisted.
Dia gazed at me sympathetically. She had strong remorse in her emerald eyes, but then I felt a thought of hers flow into me.
Her mind sent a message to my own, and it read like this:
"I don't want you to feel like you're Second Best. You've done so much for me, too."
It was such an endearing thought she had. She was being her adorable self, as usual. I couldn't resist from petting her head.
"It's... alright. I don't need to be your lover. I'm just fine being a source of comfort." I told her sincerely.
I sensed that a great burden was lifted from her shoulders.
"Kurt... thank you. I'm grateful for having you at my side, because... you're strong..." she told me with a smile.
"You really shouldn't underestimate yourself." I replied with a smirk that surprised even me.
What I said must've hit her pretty hard, because for a brief moment, she gazed at me in awe. I think she was gazing at her own reflection from my eyes, because I could've sworn I heard this other thought in her mind:
"I see... his strength is with me."
Inexplicably, the two of us burst out in private laughter. It was the most amusing moment we've shared for a while, but at least she was happy.
But there was a reason I was laughing along with her. She doesn't realize how lucky she was to be able to last that long while being burdened with that kind of problem. She really must be strong of she actually considers the feelings of those close to her before being consumed by jealousy, rage, or arrogance. She must be fighting this other Dia she's encountered with all her heart, and she's still retained her sweet self in all her suffering. It's just so funny in an odd way that she can still consider herself weak.
If it had been just any other girl in her shoes, I have a feeling she would've succumbed to disgusting emotions easily...