Matrixcolated!, a matrix fanfic

Where am I?
Who am I?
I'm me?
Where is me?
Or where am I for that matter?
Am I still there?
Jesus Christ that light is bright!
I didn't die did I?
Did I?
Should I go to the light?
Bloody hell...
What is this place?
Why can't I move?
It seems...
I'm inside something...
No...
I'm not dead...
I'm still in this fuckin' place...
A madhouse...
Holy Virgin Asylum for the Criminally Insane...
Fuckers...

Do you even hear me, you shitheads!!! I scream.
But nobody answers. Of course not. They don't hear me. Not inside this padded cell, hidden deeply in the cellar of this huge building they call an asylum.

Why did they put me in here again?
What was it that I did wrong?
Oh...
Yesss...
I remember now...
My computer...
It had started talking to me...
Whispers at first...
A voice...
Far away...

the voice asked. Can you hear me? Answer me if you can hear me, Kane... I need to know...

It was a prank!
A prank my friends pulled one me...
They hid a speaker in my computer or something, you shitheads!
I tell you!
It was a prank!
Wasn't it?
It was?
Wasn't it?
Huh?

It takes me hours and hours to take my entire computer apart. But nothing is in there that doesn't belong there. No speaker. No nothing. So a few days later I assemble it again and switch it back on.
Now that was useless. says a womans voice. But I'm glad you're back with us. At least we know now that you can hear me.
I ask.
says the voice. Listen carefully... I am Trinity and I need you to do something for me.
Fuck off, bitch! I say. I need you to do something for ME! Like get the fuck out of my computer!
I can't do that... is her calm reply. We need you as much as you need us, and right now what you need to do for us is far more important than you jerking off over some porn!

Voices!!!
Yesss...
I remember now...
I had been a bad boy...
All that masturbation...
Bad boy...
Don't do that no more...
I had to help the voice instead...
She told me things...
Things of a different world...
A free world...
A better world...
It wasn't my lot in life to sit in front of a computer and jerk off...
I had better things to do...
Bigger fish to fry...
What is the Matrix???
What is it???
Do you live in it, Trinity???
Beyond it???
I had to help her...
Them...
The others too...

Do what??? I ask, not believing what Trinity has just told me.
You have to save our white rabbit. says Trinity's sweet voice.

The white rabbit...
The pretty girl downstairs...
Tina...
She didn't have a computer...
So Trinity couldn't reach her...
THEY couldn't reach her...
So pretty...
Nice ass...
Nice tits...
And her lips...
WOOF!!!
No!!!
Bad boy...

She is very important to our cause. explains Trinity. She will lead The One to us... And she lives right below you. Today, she will die... If you don't help her, Kane... You need to protect her...

Easy enough...
Keep her from harm...
They changed her destiny code...
She was going to die in a car accident...
Yesss...
That was it...
I had to disable her car...
Easy enough...
Sugar in tank...
Funny shit...
I watched her as she tried to leave...
Caramel surprise!!!
I saved the White Rabbit!!!

Who told you about Tina Bryant? asks the man in the suit that is sitting accross from me at the desk.
I grin. He wouldn't believe me even if I told him. So why would I?
You think this is funny? asks the man.
My answer is the biggest mistake I ever made: Man... You're not even real! So fuck off!
He smiles. Well, sort of... And then he grabs a hold of the glass of water that is standing on the desk.
You don't like water, do you? he asks.
No... I don't... And I wonder how the fuck he knows about that.
Drowning is something you fear, right? he asks.
Who are you people? I ask.
In response he dips his fingers in the glass of water and throws some drops in my direction.
I start laughing.
Is that supposed to scare me? I ask. Another mistake.
the man in the suit answers. But maybe this will...
He stands up and before I can say something he throws the glass of water in my face. Surprised and shocked at the same time I close my eyes, and as the water hits my face I can feel myself fall backwards.
But I don't hit the floor. Instead it seems that I keep falling, until I hit something that gives way!

Water!!!
I'm in water!!!

I open my eyes.
There is no more room. No more man in a suit. Instead there is just miles and miles of ocean around me and I can taste the salty water in my mouth when I realise that my hands are still handcuffed behind my back!
I start to scream! But there is nobody to hear me. There is just water. Waves. Wind. And I'm getting tired quickly, because I can only use my legs to stay on the surface.

Oh my god...
I'm going to die!!!
I'm gonna drown...
Like in all my nightmares...
Nightmares?
Yes!
That's what this is...
It's a nightmare you shitheads!
Nothing more...
Just...
A...
Nightmare...

Too cold. Too tired. I just can't stay up.
A wave hits me. And another. And another. And then I'm taken down.
At first I hold my breath. But soon I can't no more. My body craves air.

No nightmare!
This is real!

My lungs fill with water as my survival instincts take over and I try to breath the unbreathable. And it hurts! Jesus Christ it hurts! But not for all that long though. Soon there is no more fight in me. My strength gone. And so I give myself over to death. And all I can see is the smiling face of the man in the suit.
Still with us? he inquires.
I look at him, not believing what I see. I'm back in the room. Sitting at the small desk. And suddenly I start throwing up gallons of seawater. All over the desk, and all over the suited man.

I think...
Therefore I am...
And I think I'm insane...
So I must be...
I mean...
They wouldn't have locked me up in here if I wasn't insane...
Talking computers...
White Rabbits...
Too late...
Too late...
For a very important date...
No time to say hello...
So bye!
Too late...
Too late...
Too late...

Sounds... Very faint... But they sound like... Shots... Screams...
There are footsteps outside the door of my cell... Voices...
Metallic sounds tell me that a key is placed in the lock and then turned...

The man with the suit is back...
I just fuckin' know it...
The fucker is gonna drown me again...
The fuckin' asshole...
And I don't know shit about shit...
He should know that by now!!!

The door to my cell opens, but nobody enters yet.
Finish it quick. says a male voice. There is a shitload of agent activity coming our way, and we don't have all that many exits from here.
Then she steps into my cell. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire pitiful life. Dressed in shiny, body hugging leather and wearing sunglasses that sadly hide her eyes from me.
I use my legs to push myself away from her, until I'm stuck in a corner, with nowhere to go. Because if there is one thing that scares me more than the man in the suit, it's beautiful women.
Don't be scared... she says, with a very familiar voice.
I can hardly believe it... In fact... I don't believe it...
I ask.
She nods, and takes off her sunglasses.
I say, without a voice to speak with.

Real???
Are you fucking insane???
Look at her, you idiot!!!
She is a figment of your imagination!!!
Nothing more!!!
Just one of your horny fantasies!!!
And if you weren't wrapped in this straight jacket, you would probably fuck her brains out!!!

I shake my head... Close my eyes... Open them again... But she is still there... She just doesn't want to go away... Just like the man in the suit...
She walks towards me and it almost seems as if she has tears of pity in her eyes when she says: I'm so sorry. But the White Rabbit had to live.

THE WHITE RABBIT???

I start laughing.
I say. The White Rabbit had to live...
Then I notice for the first time that Trinity is holding a gun.

That at least explains the shots you heard, fuckhead!!!

She notices me noticing the gun and says: I'm here to end it.
I laugh again. Because somehow it seems fitting. There she is. The woman of my dreams. And she is here to kill me.
Close your eyes. she whispers.
Instead I look up at her as she raises the gun and points it at my head.
Close them... she says again. Begging me with her eyes.
Her gorgeous eyes.
Just know then... she whispers. That you have saved the world.
Then... A flash... Bright light... And afterwards... Darkness... Comforting darkness... Like being back in mothers womb...