I started Life as James Gordon Brandel

Disclaimers: no money was harmed in the writing of this

I admit to being a "who is Deeks really"

This came to me while watching coverage of the latest high school shooting

In Oregon. It kinda a wrote itself

My first shot was a little out there (no more so than some I've read or the TV

Hetty) so this is tamer. If u like let me know, if not blame my weird brain

No clue how to break chapters so they are labeled

JACK- -REALLY!

It had to be bad, Kensi had lights and sirens on and was driving like Clint Bowyer. She headed towards

Point Mugu NAS (Naval Air Station). When she shit 140 I said "easy tiger". Her response was simple "kids

involved". Oh crap, I thought, this is not gonna go well. True to form tthat was all she said. That made about 10

words she had spoken to me since our "dance in the sandbox" 4 months ago. We pulled Sam and G out of that

sub without a word between us.

We pulled up to the base school amid M.P.'s, fire and rescue vehicles and a life flght chopper at idle. All

S.O.P. for a school shooting. NCIS were "the cops" for Point Mugu. Samcame over the com-"you guys get info

and do recon, we're 10 out". Copy said Kensi. The M. us he was in room 112 all kids out, accounted

for ex. those in 112. Still we did it right, going room by room, checking, then locking behind us. At 112 I looked

in window. The kids, appeared to be about 7 or 8. They were all huddled in the far corner to my right and the

teacher,God bless him, was standing I front of them the best he could to cover them all. The perp was

In the near left corner with a little girl and a gun to her head. I couldn't see him except for his/Her arm. We

retreated to insure he couldn't hear and I briefed her. I said I go thru first, as the trained negotiator, door opens

to right, get in front of the perp. You go left to help cover the kids. Sam grunted "Ok, there in 2. We'll take the

windows." Last room on west side I offered.I counted and on 3 we went in and, as I came out of the roll, all I

could say was "Jack –REALLY!? Kensi gasped. He said "Ok, here it is, the teach and kids except this one get

out. Kensi you take this kids place and Shaggy there doesn't breath hard." After all that was over and the

hostages out and safe he said, "Really Kens, him? This is the numbnuts you told mehad never left you? How's

that workin out for ya now. Have you had the guts to speak to himand tell him what happened? That you

offered your body if I let you go. I took you up on it about twice a day for 2 weeks. Then they save you, and,

without knowing, got me out of there. This is gonna end easily, I shoot him, you agree to go with me as

protection and then we go someplace and I keep you forever." She just stood there, those big bright eyes

tearing up. My brain was saying "Set up-oh no, not again, get me out of this. Not like 6 years ago!" Out loud

I said "No chance it's gonna be body bag for 1 if you don't let her go, and maybe even if you do- -you keep

pissin me off". With that Kensi mouthed the word "Nell". I tried not to react as I knew She was about to de-mag

the guy. We had a code. Rapid eye blinks start the 3 count. At 3 she mashed here boot into his foot after

raking his shin and grabbed the mag and rolled as he relaxed for a second. I emptied a complete mag into

Jack from shoulders up. Kensi stood up and said, "really, you couldn't knee cap him and leave him alive". But I

was already down the hall having dropped the AK, my S&W, knife vest and holster on the floor. My mind was

like what I imagined a bad 60's LSD trip to be. Outside I told an M.P. to tell Kensi to catch a ride with the others

and left for OPS. I walked in, over to Hetty's desk, who must have been upstairs, got the keys to my bike and

left. For the next week I rode up and down the PCH surfing, sleeping on the beach and reliving 6 years ago. I

finally answered Hetty's call. I said "tell Kensi 'uncle, I give' and then to her, "I'm done". She simply said,

debrief Monday-mandatory then we deal with it". I came in Monday, on the bike, loudly. Walked into the

conference room, tossed em the flash drive. It's all their I looked at Kensi and said "Uncle, I'm done" and to

the group I said "and to all an I quit". Back on the bike I relived the story they didn't know. Meanwhile back at

OPS Hetty called Bates and said "I need the whole Escobana file now, UNREDACTED" send it email to

me now." 3 minutes later it was there. She copied everyone in the room-Neric, Sam and G. "Read and meet

back here in two hours all of you. It's time to help our Mr. Deeks as he has done for all of us for almost 5

years now.

THE BACKSTORY

As they read, Deeks went home to a waiting Nate. Shaking hands he went in and got a beer, came

back and sat down. Nate said, "it finally happened right? I saw the report on Port Mugu and put it together

with the tale you told me to help get over your 'dental issues". While healthy,that was still a very tender subject.

"Then nothing left but talking me off the ledge" Nate said "No. You have to tell it in your words". "Wow, really

Nate? Gonna need lots of beer". Deeks didn't know that Nate had contacted Hetty and the team. They were

all on coms and could hear it all. He had told them they needed to hear it to get a sense of the pain in their

friend. And maybe resolve the Kensi issue at the same time. She had looked puzzled but Nate just smiled.

"Ok, here we go". At that time Monty got up from sitting beside Nate, went to his bed and put his paws over

his eyes and as if to say "no hear, no see, no problem." "As you know at 20 I got out of the police academy

and went straigt undercover. I was partnered with a 22 year old woman named Camila Enrico. She was a 3

year vet of undercover. We were very successful at taking dealers and some suppliers off the streets for a

year. But we never got our hooks in the Escobar cartel. Then one day we realized we were in love and a year

later we were married. 2 weeks later we got intel on a gang getting a big delivery. This came from one of my

CI's. I told her about 10 minutes before the bust. We kicked in the door and got the drop on em I thought.

As always I went in first. When I said 'drop em and get your hands up" one of them started laughing and said

'turn around gringo and meet Camila Escobar, daughter of Edwardo and head of the West Coast operation'.

I said 'ya right' and then heard the click of her Sig. I dropped my weapon and she had me go over to the

table and sit down. I just stared at her. She told them to grab all and clear out. She then poured some gas from

a can and lit it. "You live cause you were a decent husband Marty', she said. Then she shot me in the leg.

As soon as she left the room I dove out a window, called 911 for fire and emt's. As I went for another beer,

I continued. Then 2 years later we get an all cops alert for a day care. It was near so I also answered it. Then

I looked in the window, 8 or 9 2 year olds were huddled together in a corner behind 2 teachers. The perp was

in the opposite corner with one little toe headed blue eyed blond kid. I had to go alone. I told one of the

teachers more cops are coming. Tell them Deeks went in. Then I got inside and stepped between the

perp and kids. I almost fainted, there was Camila. She said 'I knew you were close and would come running

if kids were concerned. Damn you, you had to knock me up didn't you. Meet your son. I gave him up and now

I want him back. I was paralyzed. She backed out the door and bullets started flyinig. I ran out and she was

dead and so was my son." At this point I lost it. "Déjà vu all over again, huh Nate" and went for a beer.

When I returned, Monty had gone to the door. "I need to walk him and calm down" I said drying my

eyes and trying not to let Nate see me. He said, potty and I'll catch in 5. After I left Nate said aloud, "And now

you know about rejection #3. This had to come out first. Bad as this is, our boy isn't even near bottom yet" and

caught up to Deeks. ½ hour later they started again. "How you doing Marty?" Nate said, obvious concern in

his voice. "Do you think Jack knew about that and the rest?" "I'm just peachy, Nate" I spit out "and I'm bettin

he had Bates private files hacked, which means he knew the other thing." "Yea-agreed" Nate said very calm

and quietly. "Now get back to rejections 1 and 2. They set the stage for this as well as does Ray and his story

that we know". Continuing I said "ok, as you know my birth name was James Gordon Brandel. Ray and I grew

up together sharing everything, even the beatings by our dads. We both swore we would protect each other

and swore to be better parents but Camila took care of that before I could even start. Anyway. One day Ray

handed my a 38 and said just in case. Recently dad had taken to beating mom and me both-his version of a

double header as baseball was his only love. One night just after I turned 11 dad was working on Mom really

bad so I went to get the gun. When I got back he had the bat. I yelled at him and he said 'wow the little loser

shows some balls. Not bad for a worthless kid. I'll handle you after your mom. As he walked toward her I shot

him. Thus endith rejection #2. My own father." Deeks hung his head and let out some sobs. Then he said,

thru the tears, "but that was just the warm up act. Mom screamed at me 'Marty how could you. I love him. It's

all my fault and I had it coming". The big one rejection #3 in spades- -MY MOM". And he lost it. Nate said "take

break. Hit the john, clean up some, ok. Then we get on with it." Deeks was literally bawling like a baby and

sobbing so loud that Kensi took her comm. out. She was close to loosing it. Things were quiet for 45 minutes

then Deeks came out and said, "Ok, that also covers rejection #6 or 8 or 10. Just to finish, I ran out of the

house spent a few days on the streets, a couple weeks with Ray and then finally got hold of an Aunt who came

and got me. She got my name changed to Martin Deeks and the records sealed. Hoping neither parent would

look to hard. She lived in San Diego. Ray and I stayed in touch and managed to see each other often. Then

fast forward to my visit to 'the dentist'. Kensi comes in and leaves me there, ding-rejected. At some level I

knew it had to happen but the pain got a lot worse after that. Then in Afghanistan, as you alone know, I almost

water boarded that cleric. I am my fathers son!" "But you stopped, your rage at seeing Kensi with her throat

cut" gave you a legit reason to lose if for a sec. Yea shrinks aren't always holier than thou" Nate smiled and

went on. "You proved to all you aren't like your dad by getting the intel and generating the idea that saved

the woman you love. Go from there." Yea lotta good that did, At the prisoner swap she wouldn't even look

at me and spent the whole ride back in Jack's arms- -the big rejection, by the woman I loved. A few days later,

as Jack was leaving, she looked at him like he was her lost puppy as he left. She finally leaned on me, almost

as an after thought, and when the guys came, she looked at them and thanked em. You can count that as 1 or

2 more shots to the jaw. To this day she has not said thanks or I appreciate what you did. I needed to talk to

about what happened, what I did. I knew it couldn't happen till she healed, but since then she doesn't speak

to me, like I'm a leper. And then Jack puts it out there and I know. She needed to talk also. I had offered and

suggested she talk to you too but zip." Nate shook his head and said "she is headstrong and stubborn" with a

smile. Back at OPS Kensi was a basket case and the rest were looking at her and almost catatonic as the

whole think sank in. They all realized that 2 of theirs were hurting and the signs were their and they did

nothing. The guilt in the room was palatable and some was Kensi's as she heard the words. She lost it and

started ranting about the damage she caused was not fixable and she had ruined lives. Hetty thought, this is

gonna take Nate some time and he has to deal with both of em. They finally got a light sedative in her and she

calmed down. Back at Deeks place he was continuing- - -"I actually begged her to see Nate or someone.

and that Doctor Freud, is the whole big ugly story of my life as a failure." Deeks was drained there were no

tears left and he collapsed on the couch, head in hands. Before Nate could say anything shots rang out from

across the street. Deeks grabbed his back up piece from under a sofa cushion and followed Nate out. Nate

had his weapon out also. When they got there and went in the scene was scary- - -a man has his wife and son

at gun point. He is saying "you are a worthless slut. That brat probably isn't even mine" and as he heard

Nate and Deeks come in he grabbed the boy and said, "this one looks like you Deeks, is he yours?" The wife

screamed "no".

I separated from Nate, hoping to get one of us a shot and at the same time step in front of the wife.

"He is not my son Steve, up until 3 months ago I was in a relationship that was major league high

maintenance. I wouldn't have had the energy. Now can we end this? You aren't in that deep yet. We can

get a DNA test to prove you are the dad if you want. What say?" They all heard the shots and the next

words are, "I need a bus to 459 Elm Street NW. We have an agent down, rush it". OPS cleared out as they

all raced to the scene. Kensi was with Hetty in the Cobra literally flying. She said "Hetty what did Nate mean

when he said agent down?" Hetty handed her the cred's Deeks had turned in then downshifted into a curve.

She opened them and gasped-NCIS special agent M. Deeks. She gasped and Hetty said- -"It was his surprise

for you. We got him permission to be trained here given his experience. G, Sam, Eric, Nell and myself put

him thru everything you were taught, and he passed with flying colors." They pulled up and Nate was there.

"The perp is dead and Deeks is en route to Angel of Mercy". "How bad" they said in unison. Nate simply hung

his head and said hoarsely "Hurry". They almost beat the bus and Sam was not far behind with the wonder

twins. They all blew into the emergency room to find he as already on the way to surgery. They knew the

way as they had been here before for him. The family liaison came out and said "Deeks family-Henrietta

Lange?" They all smiled knowing who was now his next of kin. They all jumped up and went to her.

She looked really puzzled and Hetty patted her on the arm and said "I have a multi-cultured family dear, now

tell me about Deeks". The liaison hesitated and then stammered "short version-not good, 1 in the shoulder and

1 in the chest. Shoulder no issue, the chest rattled around, hit a lung and really opened up the internal

bleeding." In unison they said "where can we give blood?". She told em but added, he is o neg so a universal

match but you can replace some as we are low."

THE MIRACLE

4 weeks later Deeks came out of the coma. Kensi had left the room only to shower and change.

The nurse now had all of them outside and was saying "he has to be one strong dude. We lost him twice on

the table and once in the room." Sam smiled and said "you have no idea but then not even we knew just

how tough." She countered "it's still a miracle" to which Kensi smiled and said "nope he found out he had

something to live for" and went back in sat with him and started telling him, again, everything she had

whispered to him the last 3 weeks. Deeks was to weak to fight or resist and then he just started beaming.

The nurse (male) went in and said it was time for his sponge bath. Kens almost volunteered to to do it and

all of a sudden Deeks had a big grin and said "I can still read your mind Fern, especially when it's in that

place."

TRUE CONFESSIONS

A week later Kensi came to visit to find out he was up and walking, really slow. "A the fair ninja

Kenserila. Nurse Judy meet the reason I made it thru." Now the nurse understood. They were all in his room

when Sam said "Ok, how did you get thru this. He took Kensi's hand and said "you first?" and then added but

2 rules, 1-you do not stop her and 2-when she stops I speak first. Deal?"

Nods around. Kensi knew she and Deeks had set this up but also knew it was gonna hurt all. Even Nate wasn't

wasn't sure this was best. Kensi sat down, took a deep breath and started, "Much of my problems match

Deeks-Mom left, Dad left, 1 spent time on streets, Jack left, Deeks and I couldn't communicate so he left,

Jack came back and with Marty's help he left again for good. I wanted to tell Deeks about the regular "rape"

Jack performed. I never offered, that was to hurt my Deeks". She shed a tear, took a deep breath and as Nate

smiled, thinking "Damn these kids are good, they could even be shrinks. They knew what they needed" and

relaxed wondering who was gonna be the best man and bridesmaid. She picked up "I laid it all out for Deeks,

telling him ever-y-thing" she emphasized "including the biggie, that I've loved him since that day in the MMA

gym. But I was damaged goods big time after Jack 1.0 and again really bad after 2.0. I realized we were both

broken toys but that we could make one whole relationship work and that would, in turn make us well. I also

promised to be patient with him as a partner and about our thing." By now there were tears everywhere.

Her final statement was "and the fact that I was afraid to let him in so I joined Sam and G in the 'put down

Deeks program. That changed dramatically after Siderov and it became in just plain horseplay for all of us."

Sam eased the mood by saying "so have you called Ray yet to tell him how your thing worked out?" Kensi and

Deeks almost choked. "How the, what the" how they stammered. Sam said ok, before Shaggy bores us with

his diatribe-G and I have known forever. You to give off more vibes than a tuning fork. He is the only person

I have ever known that can make you smile, relax and still threaten him in 1 breath." "About that" Nate

Interjected, "one serious point here. Kensi, you do know the damage you do when you hit him, even in fun?"

That brought tears from here and she said "that was the absolute first thing out of my mouth-I am not your

Mom or Dad, I will stop and I will never leave you. That and you are not your Dad, everyone in this room

would have done what you did. Look at Sam and Michelle. Remember you took it-literally-in the chin for them.

You think they wouldn't have boarded someone to save your life-or G after the Sub issue?"

Then Deeks said, "Ok my turn, then I need a steak! Kensi let's get this one out of the way first.

I have loved you since that first day also. You are my sunshine and my gunpowder. I got so screwed up

and messed up I couldn't think, let alone straight. I had so much to work thru and I needed you to work thru

it but didn't know about your need to talk and didn't try hard enough. Plus I had blown one marriage and

MY CHILD in the process. I had to decide how hard to try and fix it. Our excellent communication (sarcasm

Noted) made it tough to communicate. But here goes, I will never walk out on you, I will be that good father

I know I can be and I want you to be the mother. I gotta find a job first though. One thing, I think that patience

Needs to extend to the bedroom, we haven't been there yet-yes we know what you all think-and we need to

build a friendship, a relationship and refine 'our thing' since once we hit the sack and find out how amazingly

good each other is, we may never get up." Deeks was radiating and his eyes were twinkling. They all knew

that the two were back. Hetty said, "Mr. Deeks, Kensi has been holding your badge and gun for you while

you were in the hospital. She is still going to keep the gun in case one of the nurses tries to shoot you but

your badge is back in the drawer with your other items. Kensi, would you get them and do the honors please?"

As she did a big grin broke out on her and Hetty's face. Deeks picked it up but the others were clueless.

She picked it up and said, at our graduation they say to each one of us "Martin A. Deeks as a result of your

outstanding performance in this training program we hereby present you with your NCIS credentials." As she

handed them to him, she went on "the highest scoring person in each class, overall has a small gold star

on his id. As a result of your performance, or more likely your outstanding trainers, you have earned the gold

star for your class." With the exception of Hetty, Deeks and Kensi, they were all shocked. G finally muttered,

"that's why you had us put him thru the 'same training program we went thru isn't it?" She said yes and that it

ran in tandem with a class at school so he was rated against them although they did give the person who

finished second one also, since she was in the "official class".

WRAP UP

Their wedding was on the beach with Monty as the ring bearer. Sam, G, Eric, and Nate were the best

men and Nell and Hetty were the matrons of honor. She had asked Director Vance to walk her down the aisle.

Kensi had shared a secret with Deeks and they agreed to let Granger marry them. The wedding was small and

simple. Vance and Granger had "arranged" transport for the 20 or so people, including Kensi's mom who was

beaming and had been hitting on Granger. That made Deeks and Kensi shudder step dad and step dad in law-

no frickin way! ! They wrote their own vows and pretty much laid out everything they had been thru and how

that would allow them to build a great life. Kensi had ended hers by saying, "you once said "it's a love story. I

had no clue at the time, but Nate clued me in, so in ending I will say, I promise to write the next chapters of It's

a love story with you by my side." Nate smiled and Deeks almost lost it then. But he had to hang on for getting

thru his vows and his surprise. At the end of his vows Deeks had a surprise for her as he picked up an

acoustic guitar that was on a stand. Kensi began to grin as Deeks said-"the last part of a vow is to finish

undone things between us so to speak. And one of those was to, and I quote, 'dance monkey dance' referring

to a conversation about me being in a boy band." This clears the slate Mrs. Deeks". He then played and sang

"Bridge Over Troubled Waters" and Kensi nearly collapsed. He had a great voice. When it came to the line

"I will lay me down" everyone lost it except Deeks. When he was done, then he lost it.

Then they grabbed their boards, paddled out and rode a beautiful wave in side by side, hand in hand.

When they walked in he leaned over and whispered,tonight my love I unwrap the best gift I could get-my wife

and maybe someday I'll open that damn box.