AN: I actually enjoyed the Eragon series. It's one of my favorite books, but I wanted to put up a short story, and this is all that came to mind. It's supposed to be funny, I hope it is! It's pretty much me sitting down with Eragon, who we all thought was awesome, deep, smart, cool, and tactical. It seems we were very wrong... (whispering)Pssssttt! Pssssstttt! PPSSSSTTTT! He's a ditz!
Interview with Eragon
Ninja: So Eragon… How did you first feel when Saphira hatched?
Eragon: Well, it was a major WTF moment. I was also kind of irked, I had big plans to sell that shiny rock!
Ninja: But surely you must be happy that it hatched a dragon, rather than having to go on living in Carvahall?
Eragon: Not really, some guy had offered me six meat pies for that thing. SIX!
Ninja: Well then… moving on… How did it feel when you first fought Durza?
Eragon: I had very conflicting emotions about that guy first I thought he was a vampire: y'know pale skin, funny colored eyes, but then I came to the final conclusion: child rapist.
Ninja: Well, all the more reason for children to look up to you… okay then… So I hear you like older women?
Eragon: Look, that's wasn't my fault! A lot of the houses in Carvahall look alike, and that creepy old lady was convinced that I was her husband so I-
Ninja: Stop! Stop! Eragon that's nice and disturbing and all, but that's not what I meant, I meant Arya!
Eragon: Oh, oh yeah. Uhm… yeah she's got a pretty nice ass.
Ninja: Okay then… this is not going as planned…
*Eragon gets up and starts searching around the room, looking for 'My Shiny Rock Dragon.' He eventually finds his way out. I lock the door behind him.*