Magical Celebrity Jeopardy
Fic by: Lovely Rikku
As Inspired by: Bryan, Josh, Brian, and Matt (the silly guys who did a very funny Jeopardy skit in the talent show just last week!)

Disclaimers - Standard, I own no characters, only the plot... well, not even that really, since the guys wrote it an all. I did make some adjustments, though.

Warnings - Implied Draco x Harry slash, no biggie.

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AT: Welcome back to Magical Celebrity Jeopardy. Keanu Reeves is still in the lead with... with zero dollars. (Camera swings to Keanu who's name is written "KEEANEWW REEVS" Keanu smiles at the camera.) Draco Malfoy is only slightly - scratch that, Draco Malfoy is severely behind with a negative sixteen thousand dollars..."

DM: What do you expect?! This is a *bleep* Muggle game! You expect me to know how to play?!

KR: I know Kung-Fu!

AT: No, I don't and no, for the hundredth time, no you don't. Harry Potter, lord only knows how, is in last place with a record breaking negative fourty-seven thousand dollars.

HP: That's mean, don't yell at me!

AT: Right then. Let's look to the score board. The catagories are... Colors that end in "Urple," Batman or Robin, Months that start with "Feb," Your Professors, Prefects Who Gained Power, Founders Four, Quidditch, and Love Potions. Mr. Reeves, since you are winning, why don't we start with you?

KR: I'll take Balloons for six billion, Alex.

AT: That's not a catagory or a number option.

KR: Sorry, my mistake. May I take balloons for six billions?

AT: *sighs* No, you may not. Mr. Malfoy?

DM: Batman or Robin.

AT: For how much?

DM: I don't care, muggle money is nothing to me. Surprise me, then, alright?

AT: Alright... how about for 400. (A picture of Batman shows up) Is this Batman or Robin?

KR: That is Robin!

AT: Umm, no.

HP: What is Robin?

AT: No, no. That is also wrong.

DM: WHO is Robin?

AT: NO, NO, NO! It's *bleep* Batman!

HP: Stop yelling at me!

DM: Harsh, man. Really harsh.

AT: Whatever... Mr. Potter, please help end this quickly, and pick a topic.

HP: Foundersfourforfourhundred.

AT: Say that again?

HP: Foundersfourforfourhundred.

AT: What is he saying?

DM: Foundersfourforfourhundred.

AT: Flounder Fort And Fort Sumpter?

KR: Close enough, close enough!

AT: Well, since I don't know what you are talking about, let's go with Founders Four for four hundred.

HP: That's what I said!

DM: Yea, he did say that.

KR: The words they speak are true.

AT: FINE! Just as long as we finnish this fast and you queers go back to the holes you craweled out of.

HP: Stop yelling at me!

KR: I didn't crawl out of a hole. I'm from the Matrix, you know. Whoa! (Does a double take and looks over at Harry and Draco who are now... well, they are no involved in eachothers mouths) That's worse that dej... 'dej-ahh-voo,' that definatly warrents a glitch.

AT: Oh, lord that is disturbing.

Random Audience Member: AHH! My virgin eyes! (runs)

DM: That's right, run you *bleep*!

HP: Stop yelling at me!

DM: I wasn't yelling at you.

HP: Don't hate.

DM: I won't (cuddles)

KR: Aww, that's sweet!

AT: That's sickening.

HP: Don't hate, Trebeck!

AT: Can we move on now, please?

DM: To the next base? Oh, we've been there already.

AT: Thank you for sharing. Mr. Reeves, a catagory please.

KR: Perfects Who Gained Power for ten cents.

AT: That's not an ammoun... you know what? Fine, fine. Here's your question. This Weasley Prefect wants to gain power.

KR: ME!

AT: Are you a Weasley, Reeves?

DM: Hostile...

KR: No, but I think weasels and ferrets and bunnies and mouses and kitties and puppies are so cute and cuddely.

AT: You are a moron. Hear that a moron. I hate you!

KR: YAY!

HP: Ron.

AT: Ron who?

DM: Weasel.

AT: What?

HP: He wants power.

AT: Sure. Moving on... again... The topic is Colors that end in Urple for 200 becaause I say so and I am sick of you freaks!

DM: Right on!

AT: This is the only color that ends in urple.

KR: What is, uhh... light urple?

AT: No, you ass hole.

HP: Dark urple?

AT: (looks to camera man) Can we go to Double Jeopardy now? Can we, please? God, man, have Mercy! We can! Great, we're going to Double Jeopardy.

AT: Your question... no, you people are too stupid for this. Just write down something you like. Any thing you like, balloons, clouds, bunnies! Just write something you like. You'd be the stupidest people in the world to mess this up...

(insert music here)

AT: Let's see how you messed up now... Mr. Potter wrote... Obie-Dobie...?

HD: Yes, Obie-Dobie.

AT: Right... and he wagered... nothing. Mr Reeves wrote... Absoloutly nothing, that figures, and wagered "11 T Bilyen Dolers." Wondeful, that's not even a number

KR: YET!

AT: Moving on, Mr. Malfoy wrote... oh my... Alex Trebeck... I don't know what to say. I'm touched.

DM: Yes, well, I may say you are a *bleep* Muggle or this so is *bleep* stupid, but it's all in good fun.

AT: Well, let's see what he wagered then, shall we? (pause) Stinks... Alex Trebeck Stinks. I can't believe I fell for that.

DM: Neither can I, you *bleep* Muggle.

HP: Stop yelling at me!

(Yelling in the background, camera goes black, 'snow storm' covers your TV screen...)

END

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Yes, that was lame, dnon't even bother reviweing it. I needed an escape from life, this is how I ran from reality.

-L. Rikku