Whack-a-Wormtail! (You know you want to!)
A googlewhack challenge fic by Marauder-Girl
A/N: Okay more random insanity! I came up with this little oddity while 'Googlewhacking' Which in case you don't know is doing a web search and coming up with only ONE result…. So far I managed to get two… Anywho I typed in Whack-a-Wormatail to see if anything came up and well it didn't so I though I'd make myself a googlewhack!
Dedication: To Dragon Mistress…. Whose fics always make me laugh, cry or smile.
DIS: Don't own them, never will. They belong to JK. The websites belong to themselves. It's not fair I don't own anything.
A/N2: If you can guess who the twisted e-mail is from (You'll see) you get a 100-point badge!
"Moony I'm bored!"
"Then DO something!"
"There's nothing to do!"
"There is, you're just not looking hard enough"
"I'm too bored to look!"
"ARGGHH!!! You are so insufferable!"
This was an average, daily conversation in twelve Grimmuald place. Both men having finally given up on trying to make the house habitable (It was a losing battle, we all know it), were now trying to find other ways of passing the long hours in between Order meetings and random gatherings of the masses. Remus had taken up residence in the study, apparently trying to conquer the innumerable amount literature situated in there, and Sirius, being Sirius had followed him with the hope of coaxing him away to do something a little more fun. However he had failed miserably and was now taking to annoying his friends and complaining very loudly and constantly.
"Sirius! Will you please shut up for two seconds!" groused the tawny haired man rubbing his temple; he could feel a migraine coming on.
"But Remy I'm BORED!!!"
Remus sighed "I'm aware of that Sirius after all you have been prattling on about it for the last ten minutes."
"Really that long? Not as good as my usual efforts…. It usually takes five minutes before you tell me to shut the hell up and ten before you eject me out on my ass!"
"You keep track of all that!?"
It was Sirius' turn to grin "Of course…. Like I said… I'm bored! It prevents my brain from turning to mush."
The lighter haired man groaned and shook his head in disbelief. Honestly Sirius was no better than a three-year-old kid.
"So lets find you something to do then, I'm sick of all this pestering."
Sirius was a gape for a few seconds before coming to his senses. "Alright Moony!"
So the pair began a seemingly futile search, the searched all over the house for something that our intrepid animagus could do, but alas there was nothing to be found. Unless of course he wanted to go back to cleaning. (Hell NO!)
At long last they ended up back where they started, disgruntled and far from merry. That was until they noticed something in the corner of the study, something they hadn't noticed earlier.
"Hey Rem…. What the hell is that?"
Remus peered over his reading specs into the dusty corner. It appeared to be one of those muggle computer contraptions. Ah yes, now he remembered. Dung had brought it in after winning it off one of the department for the misuse of muggle artefacts people. He distinctively remembered Dung wanting to use it to sell his wares on something called 'EBay', however if the project had gotten off the ground he didn't know. Molly hadn't been too happy about it at any rate.
"I think it's a computer Si…. It's a muggle thing. I don't really know that much about them."
"COOL! Lets try it out then" And the unfortunate werewolf was dragged into a corner not meant to be habited by7 man.
By some fluke or cruel irony Sirius actually managed to find the on switch and the computer began to boot up.
"Oh it's working, it's working" said Sirius bounding up and down on the spot like a child.
"Sirius calm down! This is a delicate piece of equipment."
"Oh who cares, this is so cool!"
at long last the dam thing finished loading up and the screen came on. Scattered all around it were various icons, all of which meant nothing to our two computer-scape explorers. It was when a grey box with 'You have one new message' appeared that they made their first move.
"I say we read it!"
"Why not…. It's only Dung's mail, how bad could it be?"
They would later regret their rashness, for they had forgotten that Mundugus Fletcher was in a polite sense 'a lowlife piece of scum'.
"It's from someone called J.E." Remus red "DUNG!!!! Where is that naked picture of Snape I bought off you on EBay…. It still hasn't come through!!! If you don't get it to me PRONTO you are gonna be in so much trouble! Coz I'm gonna tell Snapie that you took one of him and sold it EBay!!! Mwahahahahahahaha!! Ta Hun J.E"
"EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW GROSS!!" Was Sirius' reply, followed by a short bout of retching.
"I'm in total agreement!" replied his equally grossed out friend, now a rather unnatural shade white.
They eventually manage to close the offending window and set about something else to do on the machine of evil things.
"Hmm wonder what this does" Mused Sirius, scratching his chin "And he moved the pointer over to the icon that was labelled 'Internet explorer'
Instantly a new screen sprung up causing both men to jump dramatically. After a few second a page emblazoned with the word 'Google' appeared.
"Hey look it says we can search for stuff." Said Remus appraisingly, he knew exactly what he would be looking for. Unfortunately his compatriot had already beaten him to the punch.
"Whack-a-Wormtail" he grinned gleefully, typing in the random idea.
Again Remus rolled his eyes "Padfoot, do you honestly think there is going to be something with that in!?"
"Worth a try!"
"If there is a thing with that in I'll… I'll streak naked through the house!"
"You're on and if there isn't I'll do it…. Fair?"
"You got yourself a deal! Prepare to lose!"
They clicked the go icon with bated breath and waited…. And waited….. And waited…. And waited…..
"Come on you stupid machine!!!"
And at long last… the screen appeared, one result found.
"Ah shit!" muttered Remus, while his raven-haired friend whooped in joy.
"Okay it says. Whack-a-Wormtail. Ever wanted revenge on everyone's most loathed little rodent man. Now you can!!! Click here to enter page." And Sirius clicked.
Up came a page that looked very similar to those old Whack-a-Mole games he had seen in muggle arcades. Following the instructions he clicked on start and began the game. The concept was simple you had to whack the things as they came up. The funny thing was, was that they did look like everyone's most loathed rat man.
"Hey Moony you should try this, it's fun!" Cried Sirius as he vindictively sent another rat man to his doom.
Remus who was simply happy to just watch the anarchy, but soon found himself getting involved.
"Over there Si, that's it. TAKE THAT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!"
Very soon it was getting quite heated and to anyone passing outside the closed room would think that some kind of orgy was going on. With the cries of "Whack him good!" and "That's it right there, that's good" followed by loud shrieks of pleasure, it was hard not to.
The game continued for several hours until a knocking at the door brought them back to their senses. They quickly located the off switch and rushed out into the hallway, where a very disgruntled Mundugus was waiting in the doorway!
"ARE YOU TRYING TO BANKRUPT ME!!! LOOK AT THE COMPUTER BILL!!!!"
Apparently Mundugus was attached to the QBS (Quick Bill Service). Which meant you got your bills as soon as you used the items/ service. It also was apparent that the two gentlemen in question had ran up a hefty one by the state Mundugus was in.
"Um… BYEEE!!" they said in union and fled for dear life.
Mundugus chased after them bellowing like an enraged Rhino, with as much power behind.
Somewhere across the world Lord Voldemort was sitting in a dark room, not feeling overly happy. His plans recently were not progressing as much as they should have, and it was quite annoying to say the least. So when a Death eater approached he was expecting more bad news.
"My Lord. You're website has had it's first hit."
"Really! Well that is good news, I knew it would catch on eventually."
The Death Eater left and Lord Voldemort picked up a small mechnical toy from behind his huge chair.
'Whack-a-Wormtail will conquer the world MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Fin
Told you it was random, betcha didn't believe me! Long live Whack-a-Wormtail.
Oh yeah Peter fans DON'T BE OFFENDED! It was just a bit of fun!