Lee was worried about Kenny. When they decided they should call it a night and stay in the old house, Lee immediately knew it wasn't a good idea to keep Kenny on his own for too long. Especially when the man suggested that he'll keep watch whilst the others slept upstairs. He just lost a lot after all, and Lee was certain he wouldn't get over it in just one train ride. Lee definitely couldn't find it in him to get to sleep. Paranoia over Kenny took over him. It was probably nothing to worry about, as he was most likely drinking again, but you never know with Kenny. That's the problem. The man's a time bomb, and you'll never know what's going to happen when he finally explodes.
Lee sighed, sinking into his chair as the kids slept in the beds opposite. He would be fine, right? As long as he didn't make too much noise, there should be no harm. But Lee knew what Kenny was capable of: doing the most outrageous shit in the worst possible situations. That was Kenny. It just pours out of his mouth, completely ridiculous and off the bat. But at least Lee knew that he didn't mean a word of it. Well, most of the time. Lee fidgeted in his seat again. Kenny's been hit with more grief than any man should undergo. Knowing Kenny, the man who blames everyone until he finds out that it was mostly his fault and punishing himself, going to extreme lengths to do so…it made Lee uncomfortable, to say the least. He has no idea of what Kenny would and could do in a situation like this. And it scared him to his wit's end.
Snapped from his dazed thoughts, Lee shot up as he heard massive clattering come from downstairs. Not knowing if it was enough to attract Walkers, Lee glanced over Ben and Clementine. Ben fidgeted and Clem barely stirred, "What the fuck Kenny?" He hissed under his breath as he quietly trotted out of the room, careful to not wake the kids.
He slowly made his way down the stairs, the clanging back and more noticeable. It could draw the attention of those nearby, for example in the lawn, but not enough if they were at a distance, which thankfully they were. But what if it was a Walker? What if it somehow found a crack in the house and came in? What if it was that who was making the noise? What if it found Kenny and…Lee grasped his gun, preparing for the worst.
He made this way through the living room, in which he noticed Kenny's absence, and put his back to the wall beside the kitchen door. There was something shuffling in there, he was certain. The clattering was loud and definitely posed a threat. Taking a deep breath, Lee jumped through the doorway and aimed his gun at whatever he had to face. His momentum was drained, however, when the shaggy head of his best friend clambered his way up from behind the counter, facing him in shock
"…The Fuck?" Lee muttered, retracting his gun in annoyance. Kenny's shock drained into a smile at the sight of him. A drunken messy smile, but a smile none the less. Oh great. He was drunk again. The responsibility for the lives in this house was in his hands, and this was his smart idea?
"Oh, Lee!" He chuckled, swinging his half-empty bottle of some sort of alcohol,"You're just in time, welcome to the party!" He took a swig, leaning against the counter so he didn't tumble over. Lee grunted, approaching him.
"Kenny, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Lee demanded, raising his voice so it was full of venom but was under his breath. Unbelievable! Of course he would do something as stupid as this!
"Sulkin'. You?" He replied, smacking his lips together. Lee sighed angrily, shaking his head and clenching his fists. Not now. This wasn't the time to throw another fit.
"Where the Hell did you get all those?" Lee questioned, folding his arms. The table was littered with at least ten of those green glass bottles, mingled with fallen pots and pans which made the disturbance. And it appeared that over half of the bottles were empty.
"Foooound em'. That's what I call a miracle, Lee! Right when you need em'…" He laughed, taking another swig. It missed and drenched his shirt, "Whoopsie."
"You should be on watch Kenny, not having a booze-fest!" Lee knew he shouldn't feel as angry as he should; after all, he had expected Kenny to do this. And Lee honestly felt that the man deserved it. After everything…But, damn it, he still had a job! And if it put his life and Clemintine's in danger, Lee was not going to stand for it.
Kenny's mood shifted instantly as he glared at Lee. It would have scared him if the man didn't look like he just ran through a car wash,"Shut the fuck up Lee! I'm on watch and I get to do whatever the Hell I want!" Kenny shouted.
"Oh, not while I'm here you're not!" Lee exclaimed, reaching over and snatching the bottle from his grasp. Kenny was silent for a moment, staring at his feet. His hat covered his eyes and Lee couldn't see his emotion. But he snapped his head up, looking at Lee as if he wanted to tear him apart.
"…You know what, Lee?" He said through rough breaths,"Fuck you! You never looked out for me or my family, you son of a bitch!"
"Now, Kenny, you're just being an asshole!" Lee frowned, holding his hands up.
"Then why is my entire fucking family DEAD Lee, huh?" Kenny looked down at the table, shielding his face with his hat. His voice quivered at the end; it sounded like he was fighting back tears.
"Kenny, be quiet!" Lee hissed.
"No! You had to take them away from me Lee, didn't ya! You stole the only things that kept me going in this fucked up world…Killing your own family couldn't be enough, huh?"
"Kenny, that's enough!"
"You never had the balls to tell me…On that night Doug was shot…You never planned for any of us to find out did you?" Kenny stood up straight, glared at Lee right in the eyes. Lee tried to calm his rising temper at the sight of Kenny's bloodshot eyes, which shone with mixed anger and sadness. Kenny was right, he never planned on telling them, but he also didn't want them finding out like that. But he was being accused of things he didn't do and wouldn't do no matter what shit Kenny was able to throw at him. In his own words, you bet your ass he wasn't going to stand there and take it.
"Kenny-!"
"You had to hide it away from your little girl…from me!"
"Kenny, that's enough!" Lee scolded. Kenny was trembling, almost doubling over in drunk anger.
"And then you had to make the WHOLE thing worse for me from then on, didn't ya! Make my life fucked for knowing about your little secret!" He spat everywhere, grasping on the table to contain himself
"Kenny, you're just talking bullshit now and you know it!" Lee tried to say calmly but anyone could see the spite layered in every word.
"Bullshit? My son and wife are dead because of you Lee! Can't you fucking see that? Or are you just too much of a stone cold fucking murderer to see it!" That was the final straw. Lee's fist swung into's Kenny's chin, a creating a sickening crush on impact. Kenny was knocked to the floor, his head hitting the oven on the way. Lee immediately did a double take, feeling awful as guilt soared through his veins at the sight of Kenny sprawled on the floor.
"Jesus man, I'm sorry!" Lee gasped, putting his hand out to help him up. Kenny did so, grasping his hand around Lee's wrist before yanking him down on the floor with him, head banging on the stove just as he did. Before Lee knew it, Kenny was on top of him, chocking the living daylight out of him as he was pushed against the oven.
Struggling for air, Lee did what he could to push Kenny off. He couldn't see straight, and could barely make out Kenny's fuming face as his fingers tightened around his throat. Eventually, Lee flung Kenny across the kitchen, getting up as quick as he could. He almost stumbled back over due to the lack of oxygen. His neck might as well be on fire. As he was trying to breathe again, he didn't notice Kenny charging at him with all the might and anger of a bull.
Lee coughed as he was knocked over the sink. He reacted quickly this time, using his feet to kick him off. Right in between his legs. Kenny doubled over, hissing curses under his breath. Lee went to headlock him in an attempt to apprehend him, but Kenny was also fast. Shrugging Lee off, Kenny went to hit him again. Thinking fast, Lee caught his fist and the second that followed. With all this might, he pinned Kenny to the table, the only sound now was both of their heavy breaths and groans. It was a miracle that Christa and Omid didn't hear anything.
Lee glared down at Kenny, who tried his best to look intimidated but the bruises around Lee's neck had rattled him. In a small, dark voice, Lee spoke, "I didn't do anything…Stop it…"
"You-!"
"NO Kenny! Stop it!" Lee began, regaining his breath and looking down at Kenny with misery in his eyes which replaced most of his spite,"You're grieving Kenny, I can see that. And, God man, I'm so sorry about everything. You don't deserve to go through this. But neither do we! Ever since Duck and Katjia died, you've done nothing but throw shit at me! And for what? I'm your best friend man! Ever since I first met you at that farm, I was by your side! Through everything! I helped Duck out when he was attacked by that walker! I was with you when Larry said that he was bitten! I stuck with you through the hunting we did back at the Motel, we never missed night watch together! At the St John's Dairy, through the RV ride, even on that fucking train when you beat the crap out of me! I even shot a kid for you man…Your kid…I stuck with you, you son of a bitch! And after all that loyalty…This is how you treat me!"
"…Lee, I…" Kenny was at a loss for words. His eyelids dropped and he finally looked away in shame.
"And it's not just me, is it? You never seem to catch a break with Ben!" Kenny's head whirled back around.
"He's-!"
"Just a teenager, Kenny! He's a kid, just like Duck and Clementine. Just a kid lost in this fucked up world trying to survive. He's confused and lonely, and your shit doesn't seem to help!"
"I…You…" Kenny bit his lip, "Fuck…"
"And that guy, Chuck, you barely knew him and you already began to bite his head off, and he was one of the best people I've ever met!" Kenny remained silent. Lee sighed.
"Even before all this Ken…You were like it with Lily. Always at it, you could never agree, both of you!"
"…God…" Lee finally let him go, backing away with his hands up in defence. Kenny stumbled to the counter before pushing himself up. He couldn't look Lee in the eyes.
"Kenny, what I'm sayin' is that you really need to get your fucking shit together if you want me, no, ALL of us to continue to say at your side!" Lee scratched his neck, watching Kenny's movements. He wondered if he was too hard on him, but after everything that happened, he deserved it. But he knew that Kenny will definitely remember this.
"…Fucking…God…I…"Kenny mumbled, eyes wide as he stared at his trembling hands. Finally, he clenched them and sighed, "…You're right Lee."
"…Huh?" Lee cocked an eyebrow. Well, that was a first.
"You're right. All of it, it's all my fault. I'm just a fucking dickbag who can't get his act together…Not you or Ben, but me…" His voice cracked, hands surveying his pockets for something. Lee felt a wave of negative energy hit him. Kenny's actions seemed off.
"Kenny? What are you-?" He was silenced as Kenny finally pulled out what he was looking for. Mouth agape and eyes wide, Lee watched as Kenny raised the object to his head. He forgot he had a gun with him.
"It's for the greater good Lee…Fuck, it is…" Kenny's lip quivered, and he hunched over the table, eyes still refusing to meet Lee's. Finally, panic flooded Lee's system and he sprang into action.
"Kenny! No! Don't!" Lee called out, raising his hands. He was at a complete loss for what to do this time. He couldn't get near him, he'd definitely pull the trigger. But he couldn't do anything, that would do the same! His mind raced back to the moment at the Motor Inn, where he, Glenn and Carley encountered that woman. They couldn't do anything then, and Lee had a feeling that no matter what they did, she would have done it. Thinking back to what he said, 'People up and do crazy shit when they think they lost everything,' Lee felt a gush of determination to not let the same thing happen to his best friend.
"I've been nothing but a burden on everyone…" Kenny muttered, shaking his head. He was in tears and it broke Lee's heart.
"Put the gun down, man…You don't know what you're doing…" Lee insisted, trying to lock eyes.
"I wanted to save my family, but in the end…" Kenny bit his lip once more, pressing the barrel of the gun deeper into his head.
"Kenny, stop. Listen to me. You're drunk. You're out of your mind…You don't need to do this…We need you here, Ken," Lee edged towards him very slowly. Kenny noticed, and he looked at him at last.
"Shit, I'm sorry Lee, I-I really am, but we all know that this has gotta happen…" Kenny stuttered, terrified.
"No…No it doesn't"
"Jesus Christ Lee, I need this!" Kenny shrieked, gesturing towards the gun. Lee's mind rushed for ideas. He needed something other than Kenny's own life to convince him to stop. It was sick, but Lee knew what Kenny cared about.
"Kenny, think about what you're doing! Are you really going to shoot yourself and make that much noise? Think about it, every Walker around us will hear that as sharp as day. Are you really going to do that to all of us just so you can have your way? Think about Clementine…" Kenny shook his head frantically, digging his fingernails into the table.
"I'm more of a danger to you than any Walker will ever be. Because I'm alive Lee. If I'm dead, you won't have to worry about me yappin' off my big fucking mouth…Just let me do this for you, Lee. Let me have it," They stood in silence. Kenny finally looked him right in the eyes. They were wide with fear and tears, and Lee swore that he had never seen anybody look as hopeless as he did. After a while, Lee decided to take a risk and sighed.
"…No, Kenny, I'm afraid I can't. And you know that…" Kenny sucked his bottom lip, squeezing his eyes shut.
"…Why? Why are you doing this to me, Lee?"
"Because Kenny…You're the best man I've ever known…" Kenny's eyes cracked open. His mood shifted to confused as he looked at Lee like a lost puppy.
"Huh? What?" Ignoring the situation, Lee chuckled. It was rather forced, but there was genuine emotion poured into it. It just somehow felt appropriate.
"Despite everything, you're still a good person you fucker. Your heart is fixed in the right place, alright. You sacrifice yourself all the time for us, Kenny! It wasn't your fault that your family was killed, you did everything you could to protect them, and it was better than I could ever do! You love your family, Ken, and everything you do, every stupid decision, every genius decision…You did that with the people you love at heart!" Lee smiled at Kenny, as he watched him think everything over, "Please…Don't do this, man."
"…God fucking damn it…God, fuck, Lee…" He lowered the gun to the table, instead wrapping his hands around his eyes in agony.
"You're a fighter, Ken. And a damn good one at that. Don't give up now. I'm still here, and I plan to be around for a long time. I'll support you through everything Kenny. Even though you're still one half of a dick." It was the truth. Was it harsh? Maybe. But did Kenny need to hear it? It was all he did need to hear.
"What am I doing Lee? I-I don't know what the fuck I was thinking, I'm so fucking out of it, Lee! I'm lost without them…I don't know what the fuck to do!" Kenny slid to the floor, hands digging into his face. He began to sob, muffled behind his hands but still clear enough for Lee. He frowned once again, rubbing his neck awkwardly at the sight. This time, Lee didn't hesitate. Leaning against the counter, Lee looked down at Kenny.
"…Do you want me to join you?" He asked tenderly, placing a hand on his shoulder. Kenny looked up from his hands, letting them drop in his lap.
"But…you're supposed to be looking after the kids," Kenny whispered. Lee smiled solemnly.
"Don't worry. Clementine is there to comfort Ben when he has his nightmares." Kenny paused, replaying everything over in his head. At last, he laughed, patting at the spot next to him.
"…Fuck you, you big bastard. Come on, sit next to me. The sun is almost up, you might as well." Kenny gushed, leaning his head against the counter in a moment of peace. Lee shuffled next to him with two bottles of the drink in his hands. Kenny smirked, taking one and yanking the cork out with his teeth.
"What is it?" Lee questioned after realising it had no label. Kenny shrugged, taking a big sip and hissing as it burned his throat.
"No idea. Some crap. But good crap. It sure gets you kickin'." Lee scoffed, shaking his head. He decided that it couldn't hurt. After struggling with the cork (in which Kenny had to step in and open, mocking him as he did so) Lee took a page out of Kenny's book and gulped a large portion in one go. It proved to be one of the worst ideas in his life however as he felt a roaring pain in his throat, causing him to spit all of it out. Kenny was roaring in laughter as Lee coughed himself to death, holding his throat as he did so. The bruises left by Kenny began to sting at impact, but Lee remained quiet.
"Blegh!" He hissed, spluttering out whatever was left.
"Too strong for you, your majesty?" Kenny teased, arching an eyebrow in amusement as Lee tutted back at him.
"Shut up…I hardly drink, that's all…" Kenny sniggered, taking another sip.
"Yeah, right. A man who don't like booze ain't a man at all." Kenny explained, shaking his head. Lee pursed his lips in an attempt to hide the grin creeping up on his face.
"Well, when you have to tend to a class of rowdy kids everyday…" Kenny's eyebrows knit together as he looked at Lee.
"No fuckin' way…"
"What?"
"You were a teacher?" Kenny exclaimed, mouth slightly open.
Lee looked on, confused, "Yeah, what's your point?"
"I dunno, it's…I never imagined that's what you do. I was thinking along the lines of bodyguard or somethin'."
"Really? That's more likely than being a teacher?" Lee smirked.
"Well, I thought with your wife and all…" The emotion on Lee's face left as he grew uncomfortable quickly.
"…Yeah, I..." Kenny realised what he said and cringed.
"Ah fuck, sorry man. No hard feelings, right?" After a short pause, Lee chuckled, clinking his bottle against Kenny's.
"…Sure." They both took another gulp. Lee took a significantly small one than before and it seemed that Kenny's was almost empty.
"Anyway, what did you teach?" Kenny asked, twirling his bottle in his hand.
"A lotta things. I had business and social studies classes, I even dabbled in English for a bit. But what I mostly taught was history, and for a reason." Kenny looked away from him. A small silence overtook them before Kenny grunted.
"…Huh."
"What?"
"You're a man that's full of surprises, Lee Everett." Kenny smiled at him again, dimly.
"…What if I told you that my favourite subject was the Civil War?" Kenny groaned, causing Lee to chuckle.
"Oh, don't bring that fucking shit up. It's boring as all Hell, that's why I didn't turn up to most of my classes as a kid." Kenny muttered.
"You know that I'll have to file a detention for that right?"
"Oh, I am terribly sorry sir. I didn't mean to insult your boring ass."
"I'll make it into a full hour if you want to."
"Honestly, it wouldn't be that bad," Lee looked at Kenny's face as it was engulfed in thought again. Lee's own face turned blank with nerves.
"Oh…yeah…right," Lee said quietly. It was a while until any of them said anything. A tense atmosphere filled the room and the pair didn't seem to know why.
"Damn…You know what Lee?" Kenny finally spoke up, turning to look at him.
"Hmm?"
"I wish I knew you before. Before all this I mean." Lee's eyebrow rose along with his lips.
"Why do you say that?" Kenny scoffed, sitting up. There was a spark in his eye that Lee wishes he saw more often.
"Why? Because Lee, you're the best Goddamn friend I've ever had!"
"I find it hard to believe that…" Lee winced as the memories of Kenny's hands around his neck throbbed in his throat. Lee looked at Kenny as his best friend, but sometimes he doubted whether Kenny felt the same way. If they disagreed once, Kenny was certain to hold a grudge against him for a very long time.
"Come on, Lee! You've stuck with me through all of this shit!" He exclaimed. Lee's eyes glinted with mischief.
"It's not like I've had much of a choice." Kenny rolled his eyes, the same glisten appearing as well.
"Even so, you've put up with some of my stupid decisions." Kenny's lips twitched and Lee was quick to notice.
"Amen to that."
"You know, you're the type of I would invite 'round to my place. Watch football. Go fishin' with. God, we would have been inseparable." Kenny shook his head.
"Who says we already aren't?" Lee asked. It was meant as a joke, but Lee heard the emotion he put behind it, accidental or not. And he wasn't sure whether he wanted Kenny to recognise the depth of what he just said.
"You're right…You're right. I just, wish it could be normal, ya know?" The weight around his shoulders lifted slightly.
"Who doesn't?" They drank again. Kenny's was now empty. Lee, who's drink was hardly touched, gave it to Kenny who murmured a thank you.
"You know what I would change?" He questioned suddenly, "If I could go back. Before Duck and Kat…you know."
"Hit me."
"I wish I wasn't so quick on throwing that brick thing on Larry." Lee felt puzzled at his words. He had almost forgotten about the whole ordeal in the Dairy. He hated Larry so much that, although he hated that it did, it relieved him of stress. The mess they got into at Hershal's farm was what Lee thought left a lasting scar on Kenny, and his words in the train confirmed this little theory.
"…Oh. Really?"
"It's popped back up recently Lee. I can't stop thinking about it. It's haunting me. It's killing me, Lee. What if Lily was right? What if he was alive? What if I just crushed a living person? I swear, Lee, just as I threw that Saltlick down, I saw him breathe. Whether he was alive or dead though…" Kenny was venturing back into that territory. At this point, Lee would rather die than relive that.
"…Either way, he was an ass." He said flatly. Kenny's eyes widened in shock. Luckily he wasn't disgusted. Who knows that problems would have arisen if he did.
"Lee, holy shit!" Kenny exclaimed, looking at his best friend in surprise.
"Well, he was. A racist, homophobic pile of shit." Lee muttered, thinking back to the time he was knocked out flat by the breathing tank.
"I guess you're right…I couldn't stand the pair of them." Lee shook his head in agreement. That brought a new question to mind, however.
"How do you think Lily is doing?" Lee questioned. Kenny grimaced in visible disgust. Lee knew full well about how he felt about Lily. He would vent on him some nights, calling her words that anyone else would have slapped him for. And, to be honest, Lee couldn't help but feel the same.
"Dead I hope. Just shootin' someone like that…aiming at a kid. As much as I…strongly dislike Ben, I couldn't do somethin' like that. And the way Doug just gave himself up like that…I hope the bitch was torn apart." At least they were getting somewhere with the treatment of Ben. Lee worried for Ben too. How much can one kid take before they finally snap?
"Kinda graphic, but I agree." Kenny chortled, which reminded Lee of how drunk he really was. How one man could drink so much was a mystery.
"What don't you agree with me on at this rate?" Lee smiled playfully.
"…Your facial hair." Kenny spat out his drink.
"What? Ok, no, hold on!" Kenny began. Lee folded his arms, watching the show unfold,"My 'stache is my pride and joy. It's fucking magnificent if you haven't noticed. I doubt that you will find another man alive with such a grand piece of facial hair. What's wrong with it?"
"It's a little dominating, don't you think? You could stick a dead rat on your lip and get the same effect." Kenny chuckled breathlessly.
"Whatdya mean 'same effect?'" Lee lent onto the table, peering at Kenny through his half-lidded eyes.
"Kissing you would be like makin' out with a pine branch." Kenny looked offended and Lee felt satisfied with his job.
"Like you would know. All the women I met adored it, thank you very much. Especially Kat. I don't see many people flocking to your mess of a beard, asshat." Lee raised his eyebrows thoughtfully.
"Doug liked it," Lee admitted.
"Yeah, but he didn't like it enough to smooch it, did he?" Kenny said sarcastically. Lee smiled with a mix of nerves and giddiness on his face.
"…Well." He began. Kenny looked at Lee's wide grin. Slowly, the cogs turned into place and Kenny's face slowly morphed with them until finally, his mouth fell open.
"…No fuckin' way. You're kiddin' me, right?" Kenny babbled. Thankfully it wasn't disgust again, but it was shock. Lee looked at him knowingly. "Lee, you're fuckin' kiddin' me, right?"
"Uh, something mighta sorta happened when we went out hunting that one time." Lee held back laughter at Kenny's confused expression. Lee could tell Kenny didn't know what to say. Or what was right to say in this situation. Lee didn't mind. It was normal at this point.
"Holy shit…Are, uh, you, uhh…?" Kenny rubbed his neck, eyes flickering everywhere to make the situation less awkward than he already thought it was.
"Am, uh, I, uhh…?" Lee joked. His friend sighed in annoyance.
"Help me out here Lee, I'm new to this shit." Lee smiled widely.
"If I'm thinking what you're thinking, then yes." Kenny's moustache twitched. Kenny struggled to find the words to reply. Lee showed no signs of being…He was just confused.
"…But you had a wife, how are you…?" Lee's smile turned sly.
"It is possible to like both, you do know that right?" He geered. Kenny flung up his arms.
"Yeah, I mean of course I do! I'm not stupid…"
"You sure about that?" Tck. Florida men.
Again, there was a long silence between them. Yet, surprisingly for Lee at least, it wasn't strained. Just a confusing calmness.
"…What was it like?" Kenny asked suddenly. Lee looked muddled.
"…Kissing Doug?" He asked.
"Uh, men in general." Kenny nodded stiffly. Lee though for a moment before answering.
"It was nothing spectacular compared to a kiss from a woman if you know what I mean. They're about the same. But sayin' that, Doug didn't have any facial hair. I don't know what that feels like."
"Hmm…I would imagine it's…kinda scratchy." Kenny remarked with difficulty, causing Lee to chuckle.
"No way," Lee responded, looking slightly bewildered. Kenny began to fidget uncomfortably, glancing at Lee every few seconds.
"…What's it like…You know…Uh…Doin' the bedside rodeo?" Kenny asked eagerly, leaning into Lee who quickly looked irritated.
"Jesus Kenny, we didn't get that far! What do you take me for?" Lee huffed in frustration.
"Christ, I'm sorry Lee! This stuff is just foreign to me, that's all." Kenny babbled remorsefully. Lee began to take it lightly, rolling his eyes dramatically.
"I can see that…" Kenny looked as if he wanted to retaliate, but he just shook his head with a small grin and kept it to himself.
"Was Doug your first?" Kenny questioned. Lee licked this lips as he reflected.
"I've dated a lot of people in my time before I met...my wife. Doug was my second in that particular category. Before him was a guy called Charlie." Lee quivered mildly at the thought. He forgot all about him, even before the outbreak.
"How did that turn out?" Kenny inquired. Lee looked in the distance painfully, before deciding to keep the details brief.
"We were young and dumb, Ken. Well, younger than I am now anyway. It lasted for about three months. Left me for a 'newer model.'" Quickly, Kenny looked appalled, which was not the reaction Lee expected he was going to get.
"What? No way! The fucking pissant!" Lee quirked an eyebrow. What ruffled him up this much? Although he didn't like to think about the things he got up to with Charlie, it was nothing really. Well, nothing compared to losing your wife like they did.
"What's so shocking?" Lee asked, studying the fierce expression on the man's face. He was drunk, Lee had forgotten about that. That was most likely the reason. Kenny never got this uptight about stuff like this before.
"How dare the bastard do that?" Kenny yelled, slamming his bottle to the ground.
"I feel as if you're forcing out emotion here, Ken." Lee quirked.
"No, I'm serious! Who would leave you for a newer model? You're the best model!" Lee breathed in, a tad bit flustered. He didn't expect that either.
"…Thanks? It happened seven years ago Kenny, I think I'm over it. And I wouldn't exactly call myself 'boyfriend material,' after all I did kill a guy for sleeping with my wife." Kenny tutted, placing his hand on Lee's shoulder. Lee swallowed, feeling his heartbeat rising. The alcohol must be getting to him too.
"Well, I don't blame ya. I'd do the same!" Lee let out a scattered laugh, lips turning down slightly.
"How do I know that you would? Just forget about it, okay. You mourning over something like that is the last thing I need. We all need." Kenny sighed. Deeply. Lee calmed his breathing down, placing a hand on his temple. God damn. It was happening all over again. Lee wanted to forget that day when he and Kenny went out on a food run. Before they…let that woman get eaten alive, they were trying to get over that truck. Of course, this was after Kenny was shot in the stomach by that St John brother. As he was helping Lee up, he dropped him. Lee's head slammed against the car window beneath him. Everything was plunged into darkness for a second. It must have knocked out his vision. When he did finally open his eyes, he felt his heart stop. Because that was the moment when his view of Kenny changed from best friend to…something else. Something more to say the least.
He just couldn't help himself. He was staring right back at Ken's face, looking down at him with concern. The way the light shone down on him, it made him look, well…heavenly. The best thing he'd seen for a while. Of course, he had to lock it away. If the word got out, no one would look at him in the same way again. Especially Kenny. Back then he wasn't sure on his opinion on people like Lee, but now it's a bit reassuring to him that he doesn't care. He just doesn't know how to show it. But still, he had already had a family. A great one at that too. And he had Doug. That overgrown man-child…To be honest, it would be much worse telling him now. Kenny would snap, Lee was sure about it.
Was it painful? Yes, it was. But it wasn't unbearable. Lee could live with it. After a while, he learned to accept that he couldn't really control who he likes. But he could control, well, controlling it. It was hard sometimes. Kenny proved to be difficult to ignore. But he pulled through. It was the least of his problems in a world like this. Clementine was his main priority over everything. All Lee had to do was keep it that way.
"Do you…still miss Doug?" Kenny asked, looking at Lee with round eyes. Lee grunted, looking down at his feet. He clenched his eyes shut.
"Every day…" Lee frowned. It was true. It wasn't easy to forget a big puppy like Doug. If only he could change what happened. Kenny sighed, rubbing his temple and Lee's shoulder.
"I know how you feel man. I'm sorry." Lee inhaled deeply, looking at Kenny reassuringly.
"You lost a lot more than me, Ken. I've still got a little girl who I have to protect. And I've still got you. Promise me you won't pull that shit again. With the gun." Kenny gagged on his own words as his head limped and looked down. Lee looked at him intensely and Kenny eventually gave in.
"…As long as I got you and Clem, Lee. I'll promise." Lee smiled weakly, patting Kenny on the back in return. Kenny suddenly stood up. Lee paused, wondering if he should get up too. But Kenny soon joined him again with two more bottles. Kenny passed one to him, after opening it again, and Lee raised it in gratitude.
"Good. God, I don't know what I'll do with myself if you go too." Kenny's eyes lit up as he smiled.
"You like me that much, huh?" he said gruffly. Lee nodded.
"Who wouldn't?" Lee shrugged. Kenny scoffed, rolling his eyes and taking a long sip.
"Only everyone else that we've met." Lee shook his head. Well…
"That's not true Kenny."
"Lily, Larry, Ben, Chuck, they hate me." Kenny listed off on his fingers.
"Lily and Larry maybe, but Chuck didn't care. He told me himself that he was fond of you. Said you share his love of the road. And maybe Ben wouldn't care so much if you backed off." Lee explained. Kenny sighed once more, adjusting his hat.
"Yeah, you're right…It's just, hard, you know? After everything…" Kenny trailed off, anxiously tapping his nails on the floor.
"He didn't mean it Ken, and you know it. He's grown a lot and won't do it again. If he does, I'll step in this time and whoop his ass." Kenny didn't react for a while, but he eventually laughed lightly. Lee grinned in return, feeling his heartbeat rise again, much to his dismay.
"…Heh. You're just like me Lee. Only better," Lee licked his lips, sweat threatening to emerge.
"Funny. I think the same thing about you. A lot," Kenny stopped drinking at looked up at Lee. He looked away from Kenny in distress, taking a drink from his own.
"…What are you sayin' Lee?"
Shit.
For a man completely wasted on alcohol, Kenny sure can keep a straight mind. Lee hung his head down, trying to hide from Kenny's eyes which burned into his neck. He tripped over his words in a slurred rush, racking his brain to try to find anything to contract his statement, "I uh…"
"Lee…" Kenny glared at him and Lee finally huffed in defeat.
"I don't know what I said man, I'm completely wasted on whatever the Hell this is," He swung the bottle, forcing a small smile. Kenny looked right through him.
"I know what I heard Lee. What do you mean by that?" Lee's eyes flickered between Kenny's mixed face and his bottle, before finally grunting and holding his head.
"I…Fuck…" Lee shuffled, looking directly at him. Lee took a deep breath; maybe it was for the best to take a risk, "Fuck it," Lee nibbled his lip. He couldn't tell what Kenny was thinking anymore. His face was too complicated to tell. There was confusion, definitely, maybe a bit of anger mixed in there too. The rest, it was incomprehensible to Lee, "Ken, I…I need to tell you something."
"Sure pal…Anything," Kenny nodded, looking at Lee with a new amount of concern. Lee exhaled, avoiding looking at Kenny.
"It's, uh, kinda serious, you know. I'm not sure that you're ready to hear it…" Kenny began to look nervous. Finally, something Lee could tell off the bat.
"Of course I am Lee. Look, whatever it is, I'm prepared. I've been hit with a lot of shit, I'm sure I can take it," Lee chuckled anxiously, shaking his head, "Seriously, just tell me. I wanna hear it. If it's been botherin' you, I'm here to help. Like you said, you've had my back all those times, and I think it's about time that I begin to have yours more often too."
"I love you, Ken." Lee closed his eyes. As expected, there was a large pause. After a while, Lee was growing fearful of what Kenny was doing. Lee opened them again, and his stomach dropped at the sight of Kenny's face. He was hit with so much surprise that his face was blank. That wasn't exactly a good reaction.
"…Oh." He forced out. Lee wanted to get up and run. Oh God, he wanted to escape from whatever Hell he just jumped into. He quickly saw that this was something Kenny was not ready to hear. He couldn't just up and sprint away, however, and had to take matters into his own hands:
"Ah, fuck. Great. I know that you're probably beyond disgusted with me. I'm sorry Kenny, it's not something that I can help. You're just so great in my eyes man. I know that you don't see me like that too, but at least see where I'm comin' from." Lee gripped his face, looking worriedly at Kenny who turned away from him. He was staring at the fridge, face still wiped of emotion.
"…No Lee. It's ok." He finally said. Lee felt apologies and contradictions bubble up in his throat and, damn, did he want to scream them all out. But he swallowed them back, feeling completely awful.
"…Yeah." He mumbled. There was no doubt about it: Lee had made a terrible mistake.
"How long have you thought of me like that?" Kenny asked in a blunt voice which made Lee more uncomfortable.
"I don't know, Ken. I think I recognised it on that hunt for food we did before the attack. You know, the one with the girl. I fell down on that car, and I looked up. You just looked so amazing, the sun blaring on your back and the concern in your eyes…Fuck, I couldn't help myself. But it could have been way before that…I've always looked up to you. I just never realised it was in that way until then." That was far too truthful, far too truthful for someone like Kenny. Lee had met other guys that would and did take offence to another man viewing them like that. Like they would view a woman. Lee didn't need to be a scholar to figure out that Kenny fit right into that category. It probably made him feel…weak. God, he really fucked up.
The atmosphere remained thick and heavy, until, "…FUCK!" Kenny screamed, face straining and going a deathly shade of red as he clasped his hands around it for the second time this night. Lee jumped out of his skin and was ready to prepare himself for any beating that was soon to follow. But it didn't. Instead, Kenny began to hyperventilate furiously, somewhere between the line of distraught and terrified. Lee stopped himself from placing his hand on his friend's back; a punch to the face was not what he needed right now.
"Whoa, Kenny! Calm down! I'm sorry!" Kenny winced, looking up at Lee in what he could only describe as pain.
"No, it's not you Lee! I…" Kenny's voice lowered into frantic muttering that wasn't understandable to Lee anymore, who was unsure about whether to feel relieved or worse.
"What's wrong man?" Lee lowered his voice and asked him tenderly. Kenny's movements were almost robotic as he squeezed his legs with his hands, slightly rocking back and forth. After a while, he spoke.
"…I love you too, Lee." He admitted in a strained voice. Lee felt like he was slammed against the wall by Kenny. He genuinely was speechless, and the amount of sheer happiness and shock that was flowing through his veins was almost enough to make him pass out.
"Oh…How long?" Lee whispered, his excitement blocked by his tight expression.
"During that voyage too. When you fell down Lee, I felt like I lost you. I panicked slightly. It made me realise how much I did care for you. But I refused to believe it. I pushed it back, all of it! I had a kid and wife to look out for and I was almost certain that you didn't feel the same way," Kenny hissed, clawing at his hat like he wanted to disappear. Finally, Lee smiled. It was a wide, honest-to-God smile that he didn't think would show again. This definitely wasn't what he expected, in fact, it was entirely out of the ballpark, but it was completely better in every way imaginable. And Lee couldn't be happier.
"Well, did I prove you wrong?" Lee teased with a playful look. Kenny didn't notice, and Lee soon learned that it was for the best.
"No, Lee! I-I shouldn't be wanting this!" Kenny cried, tugging on his cap with such a force that almost made it fly off, "I don't! I love Kat too! I still love her will all my heart. If I did this with you Lee, I won't stop seeing her glaring at me! Angry at me for leaving her for dead! Angry at me for not trying to save our son! What would he think? Me, dating another man rather than his Mom?" Lee's high popped like a bubble and he felt himself tumble back down to reality. Looking devastated, Lee kept his attitude in the same place.
"Kenny…I understand." He sighed. It would be better if they forgot that this ever happened. Or at least pretended. Lee knew that he wouldn't. And after everything that happened tonight, he wasn't sure what to expect from Kenny anymore.
"I don't know what to do Lee…" Kenny stuttered, linking his hands. Lee wanted this, whatever it was, to happen. He really did. But…after all, he wanted it because he loved Kenny, as sappy as he thought it to be. In the end…he wanted Kenny to be happy. But he didn't know if, perhaps, he could make him happy. Well, happier than he is now. Lee knew fully well that he couldn't replace Katja or erase Duck, but maybe, just maybe, he could provide some happiness that Kenny desperately needed.
"I know that this isn't the right time or place, but I feel like I need to say it. I'm worried about you, Kenny. You lost a great woman and boy, and I'm worried what effect that will have on you. I want you to be happy Kenny. I hate seeing you like this, in a romantic relationship or not, you're still my best friend! If I will make you happier than you are now, choose me. If I'll make it worse, don't. I know that it's a hard decision buddy, and I'll give you all the time in the world to think it over." Lee gave a hopeful but strained smile to Kenny. He slumped over, which Lee hoped was a sign of him thinking everything over.
Kenny finally glanced up, "…I…" He forced his eyes shut. Lee looked down at him with concern.
"Yeah?" Kenny sighed, sitting up.
"You really care about me that much?" He asked. Lee nodded.
"You're one of the only things I have left. I love you, Kenny." He explained. Suddenly, Kenny laughed. It was surprising for Lee, but it reassured him that Kenny didn't hate him.
"You're really not making this any easier for me, you son of a bitch." Lee snickered.
"That's my job." Kenny inhaled, rubbing his hands together. He made up his mind. Lee's stomach felt like it shot off to space.
"Lee, I…I don't know if this is far too early, but…I wanna try this thing out. For the greater good of the both of us," Kenny admitted with a hopeful grin. Today was full of surprises. Lee was unsure of how to react. Of course, he felt fireworks explode in his head, but something more appropriate to the situation would be better to show,
"You sure?" Lee grimaced, looking Kenny up and down. Kenny shifted his eyebrows with a huff.
"No. But let's run with this for now and see where we end up." He grinned nervously, much to the relief of Lee.
"If you ever get too uncomfortable, you can tell me," Lee explained with the same amount of nerves. Kenny dramatically rolled his eyes.
"I know, shit bird. I know." Lee smirked, folding his legs.
"I was hoping you'd say that." Kenny's face had lightened up. It was very noticeable, despite the pair of them being in complete darkness. Safe to say, it made Lee feel much better as well.
"You know, I'm real pumped now! I feel better than I've been in a long time." Kenny stretched his arms, letting out a little 'whoop.' Lee found it odd again as a reaction, but what was a fitting response to this? You just had to…go with where ever it took you. And Lee was just fine with it.
"I'm glad. Because I am too." Lee smiled, looking at Kenny softly. Kenny nodded enthusiastically.
"So, are we, uh…Gonna tell the others, or?" Kenny trailed off, rubbing his neck. Shit. Lee didn't think about that. How would they react? Omid and Christa weren't the types to care, or at least Lee hoped they weren't. A few jokes now and then? Maybe. But Lee wouldn't mind, in fact, he'd join in. Much to Kenny's grand annoyance. Chuck wouldn't either, wherever he was. He was just the type to just go with it. But then there were the kids, the two who would be confused. Especially Clem, but Lee knew that Clementine wouldn't mind it. She would find it gross, but she told him that any romantic stuff was 'icky.' Still…Lee thought that it was too early for the word to get around just yet. They needed to see if they were actually a compatible pair. It would be awkward to everyone if their little 'thing' ended after a day or two.
"…Not for now. Maybe later. I don't think they're ready for another unnecessary romance drama." Kenny chuckled, smiling lightly.
"Amen to that." He joked.
"Mhh." Lee lent his head back on the counter and practically melted against it. He never had such a long night. It was likely that he wouldn't sleep for weeks. But, things were finally looking up. With Kenny at his side, he felt better than ever. He needed this. They both did.
Lee couldn't help but notice Kenny's fidgeting from out of the corner of his eye. Lee nudged him, and he almost jumped out of his skin.
"Uhh…You know I…" he began, tapping his foot hurriedly.
"…Go on." Lee grinned at Kenny's slightly pink cheeks.
"I could…Show you what it's like to…Kiss a guy with a moustache. If you want to, I mean…" Kenny wanted to retract his words as soon as they came out of his mouth. This time it was Lee who was expressionless.
"…Kenny." He said clearly, which made Kenny feel more stupid than before.
"…Yeah." He said sheepishly.
"You can be really fucking stupid sometimes, you know that?" Kenny mumbled an 'mph' under his breath. That didn't help either.
"…So, uh, is that a yes or a no or a maybe-?" Kenny's babbling was finally cut short as Lee lent in.
It was…weird. Kenny had never kissed another man before, and relatively grasped Lee's explanation on why it was the same. But, it wasn't. Lee's lips were much tougher than any girl's that he's ever met, and Lee's bushy stubble lightly tickled the entire area around his lips. But it was nice. More than nice, it was spectacular after everything. Lee had a completely different experience. That damn moustache was like needles. And the smell of alcohol was as strong as anything. But, again, it was heavenly compared to nothing. It was something to keep up. Finally, Lee lent out. They were both embarrassed, avoiding eye-contact like a couple of schoolboys.
"Ah. That was…" Lee began, the ghost of the moustache still on his lip.
"Nice. It was…Nice." Kenny finished, completely breathless.
"You were right, it was scratchy." Kenny looked at Lee with a mockingly annoyed expression.
"Like kissin' a dead pinecone or whatever bullshit you said?" Lee laughed, rubbing his neck.
"Yes, but a lot better." The embarrassment seemed to have melted away to some extent.
"That's good to hear," Kenny smirked, tilting forward, "Wanna try it again, to be sure?" Lee pursed his lips sarcastically in thought.
"We might need to test it more than once. To, uh, be on the positive side." Kenny snorted, touching foreheads.
"I like your thinkin' Mr Everett."
Don't kill me, I thought it would be cute. I didn't really like how this turned out, but I had fun doing this. I don't know why I find this couple cute, I just do and I hate myself for it. If you liked it, I'm happy to do more one-shots like this with these two. You could even leave a suggestion for a plot, it gives me something to do. Thank you for reading anyway.