Oh Sweet Lord
By: Keep' Switch'
Summary: Whoa! No way! Zack and Dolph have been changed into little kids again! What will Wade Barrett and Randy Orton do? R&R! Thanks!
"Whoa! What the hell!" Zack screamed as the magician finished his final performance.
Wade Barrett, Dolph Ziggler, Zack Ryder, and Randy Orton were all hanging out tonight. They had nothing else to do, so they decided to go to a magic show. Of course, a lot of persuasion had to be made to make the all mighty Orton go. It took forever, but he finally agreed. Zack, out of everyone, loved magic shows. Hell, he loved anything that doesn't involve him working every day of his life. A little fun now and again wouldn't hurt, would it?
"That was some messed up shit aye Ryder?" Wade said trying to nudge him but failed when he felt nothing but air. "Ryder? ...Dolph, what happened to Ryder?" He asked Dolph but, then again, failed when he realized he wasn't there either. "Dude, what the hell happened? Orton? ...please tell me you're still there!" Wade pleaded.
"Yeah I'm still here, but where the hell did Zack and Dolph go?" Randy said impatiently. "Guys cut it out! Where'd you go?"
Suddenly, Randy felt a tug on his pants leg. Looking down, he saw a baby.
"Hey, uh…Barrett…?" Randy said.
"Yeah…?"
"Do you see what I see?"
"Is that…is that a baby?"
"Hell…yeah…!"
"What the hell did you do man?" Wade asked the magician.
"Well…I might have turned them into 4 year olds…" The magician said nervously. "Boy! Look at the time I really must be going." With that, the magician ran off the stage.
"Ooh if only I wouldn't get charged!" Randy growled.
"I know what you mean man!" Wade agreed.
Randy looked down at the little 4 year old boy. He had blue eyes and dirty brown hair. His cheeks were rosy and puffy. He was the perfect size and height for his age and extremely precious! All of these things made Randy wonder how this little gift from God could turn out to be Hell bound! He shook the thoughts out of his head and picked the little boy up, placing him in his lap.
"So which one are you? Dolph or Zack…?" Randy asked the little boy.
"I'm Nick! NICK, NICK, NICK! Don't call me Dolph! I am not a Dolph!" Little Nemeth yelled. He might have been small, but he had major anger issues! It reminded Randy of himself when he was growing up.
"Ok kid, damn!" Randy half yelled.
"Hey! Don't curse at him! That's not good for them…" Wade explained.
"Wade…I have a daughter dude I know what I'm doing. Now back to you mister, watch your tone." Randy warned.
"Fuck you! I want my daddy! I WANT MY DADDY!" Nick screamed while crying on Randy's chest.
"Poor little guy…wants his daddy." Randy shrugged looking at Wade.
"Well what can we do? We don't know where his dad is."
This made little Nemeth cry harder and louder. "I want my DADDDDDDDDYYYYYY!"
"Ok, ok kid calm down!"
"Here give him this…" Wade said passing Randy a piece of gum.
"Really Wade? Gum…?" Randy snarled.
"JUST give him the damn gum!" Wade yelled.
"I thought you weren't supposed to curse in front of kids." Randy mocked Wade.
"Shut it Orton!"
"Hey! Don't tell me to shut up! You're not my wife!"
"Of course I'm not! She's a bitch anyways…" Wade said coldly.
"You…are…so….DEAD YOU MOTHER FUCKER!"
Just then, there was a sudden movement. This made Wade's head shoot down. He stared at a beautiful baby boy with brown eyes and spiky brown hair. He was looking up at Wade with a blank look on his face. He was clearly clueless at why Randy and Wade were yelling.
"Umm…why are you guys yelling at each other?" Little Cardona questioned.
"Zack…? Is that you? My God! You're the cutest little thing ever!" Wade laughed picking him up in progress.
Little Cardona looked confused. "Who's Zack? My name is Matthew Car….car-uh…well, my name is Matthew." He explained.
"Ha! You got told by a little boy!" Randy laughed.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever Orton let's just get the hell out of here." Wade said getting up from his chair.
"Yeah I guess you're right we should be getting out of here. Dolph…"
"NICK!"
"Well Nick…! Where are your car keys?"
"What keys? I don't have a car."
"*sigh* Nick…look in your pocket."
Little Nemeth put one hand in his left pocket then took it out. He did the same with the other 2 pockets before finding the keys in his right back pocket.
"Here's the keys umm… uh what's your name again?" Little Nemeth asked.
"Randy…"
"Oh okay here you go Randy."
Randy took the keys, picked little Nemeth up, and signaled Wade to do the same with little Cardona.
The car ride back to the hotel was hell! Little Nemeth started yelling about food, little Cardona got car sick, and Randy was about to beat the hell out of Wade for stopping every time little Cardona coughed. Finally arriving at the hotel, Randy was the first to get out the car. He took the screaming Nemeth out of the car and carried him in his arms to the hotel door. Wade, on the other hand, took the sleeping Cardona and placed him carefully in his arms and shut the car door. Walking to the hotel, every fan's mouth dropped when they saw them. Wade laughed and explained to them what happened. They all understood, but still wanted pictures. All of this commotion woke little Cardona up. Suddenly, everything stopped. No one lifted a finger or dared spoke. The only thing that was happening was Wade's face turning slowly into a frown.
"What's going on Wade?" He asked with such curiosity.
"Nothing buddy just go back to sleep."
"Okay…" Cardona said as he laid his head back down on Wade's shoulder.
Everyone breathed finally as he went back to sleep. Randy and Wade said their silent goodbyes and got on the elevator. Randy let little Nemeth push the button to the 4th floor. He shook his little head as the elevator binged at every floor. Picking up little Nemeth, Randy and Wade headed for their room. (Isn't it a coincident that Randy and Wade shared rooms? But anyways back to the story!)
"Where's the key to the room Wade?" Randy asked.
"In my back pocket... I can't get it because I got this little guy. Can you get it?"
"Hell….no! I am NOT putting my hand into your ass pocket!"
"Well we can stand here all night…"
Wade leaned back against the door as he waited for Randy to retaliate. He knew he was thinking because Randy's face was going from a frown to thinking and back. Randy finally gave in.
"Fine…turn around." Randy huffed.
Randy slowly reached one hand out towards Wade's back pocket. As he began to get near it, his stomach danced. He didn't want to do this, but he had no other choice. Finally putting his hand in Wade's pocket, he quickly pulled out the room key.
"See, was that so bad?" Wade asked.
"Yes…"
"Oh stop bitching and open the damn door! He's really heavy ya know!" Wade yelled.
"Hey! Stop yelling at me Barrett or EVERYONE'S staying out here except me!"
"And me!" Little Nemeth said proudly.
"*sigh* and you…" Randy agreed.
"Ok I'm sorry now can you please open the door?" Wade asked politely this time.
"Thank you! Was that so hard?" Randy mocked Wade (for the second time -_-)
"Can you PLEASE open the door?" Wade pleaded.
"Yeah I gotta go pee!" Little Nemeth agreed.
Randy finally opened the door and everyone rushed in. Wade put sleeping Cardona on his bed; Randy let the little Nemeth go pee, and both the men nearly collapsed on the floor.
"I'm so tired!" Randy yelled at the top of his lungs causing little Cardona to wake up again.
"Wha…? Where are we? Wade…! Where's Wade!"
Little Cardona was having a panic attack. He jumped up and looked around until he spotted Wade sitting down on the floor. He ran as fast as he could to Wade which caught him just in time as he jumped.
"Hey little buddy don't cry! It's okay Matthew just go back to sleep." Wade cooed in Cardona's ear.
"But I'm hungry!"
"Okay little man, let's go get some food."
Wade and Cardona left the hotel room in search of food. This was really a bad idea! Leaving a tired Randy and a bad Nemeth in a room was an equation for total HELL!
"Randy!" Nemeth yelled.
"What?"
"Come here…"
Randy got off the floor and slowly walked to the bathroom where the little voice called him. He stopped dead in his tracks and started to laugh.
"Hey! This isn't funny! I'm stuck!" Little Nemeth whined as he tried to get out of the toilet.
"How'd you get stuck Nick?" Randy asked trying to catch his breath.
"How else do ya think? I was about to use the potty when I fell in. I tried to get out but I just fell back in it."
"Ok dude, stay still."
Randy went over to Nick and helped him up. He got a towel and handed it to him so he could dry off.
"Thanks Randy."
"No problem buddy."
Randy was shocked that little Nemeth gave him a hug! He thought this little thing didn't like him. Boy was he wrong! All was well until Wade and Cardona got back.
"Randy! Nick! We're back!" Wade yelled as they entered the hotel room.
"We're in the bathroom!" Randy yelled back.
Wade and little Cardona went to the back were Randy and Nick reside.
"I'm guessing you guys did some major bonding while we were gone?" Wade joked.
"Yeah, yeah let's just eat!" Randy growled.
Chapter 2 coming soon!