There's something about driving that calms Santana down. She's anxious to get on the road, not just because it's a ten hour trip from New York City to Lima, but because she knows once she finally gets out of New York City and all of its traffic and onto a long stretch of road surrounded by empty fields or woodlands, her heart will stop beating so fast and she'll be able to finally relax. So she runs up the stairs to her apartment one last time to search for anything she might have forgotten, grabs her phone charger from the plug in the wall, locks up, and clambers into her car.
She can't take too long off from work, a total of ten days, and that's with promising to work double shifts for the next three and a half weeks, but she can't pass up the opportunity, either. Her parents called her and told her that the McKinley graduation was on Wednesday and Brittany's parents had given them three tickets. Santana made them promise not to tell Brittany she would be there. After securing the promise, she started to make arrangements.
It killed her to see the disappointment on Brittany's face on Skype when she told her she probably wouldn't be able to make it to the graduation ceremony. "I'm sorry, baby, but work just won't let me off," she said with regret lacing her voice, although for a completely different reason. She almost gave up the ruse right there, but when Brittany pushed past it easily, saying that she would just send her a DVD of the ceremony, Santana told herself it would all be worth it.
So her suitcase is packed and thrown in her trunk, her iPod is hooked up to her car stereo and set to her Brittany playlist, and her phone is set to "speaker" as she calls people to arrange things as she drives across New York and Pennsylvania to get back home.
"What do you mean you can't make it, Puckerman?" she growls in the first hour of driving, having finally reached him after thirty minutes of trying, almost getting pulled over by a cop, and coming close to crashing three times. "I know damn well that the pool business you started down there in LA is booming because you paid someone to put up a freaking website and you're having people book you months ahead of time."
"Exactly, I have appointments I can't cancel…."
"And since we did you become responsible?" Santana interrupts in a biting tone. "You better fucking be there or I'll fly down to LA myself, find you, and drag you back to Lima whether you're cleaning a pool or doing the woman who owns it!"
She hangs up angrily and thirty seconds later, her phone beeps, signaling she has a text message. Gritting her teeth when she sees it's Puck, she opens it and sighs in relief.
Fine, I'll book the flight, but I can only be there for two days. And you owe me.
"Like hell I owe you," Santana mutters, but she can't keep her excited grin from spreading across her face as she tossed her phone on the passenger's seat.
The others weren't too hard to convince. Finn is on leave from the Army, anyways, and he's spending his time back in Lima with Rachel, who flew home after the semester at NYADA had ended. Kurt is in town, as well, spending time with his brother while he's on leave. Mike is coming back from Chicago because Tina is graduating and Mercedes happened to be in town with the band she signed on with. Quinn flew back from New Haven as soon as the semester ended, spending the summer at home.
They all agreed to her plan, although there had been several moments when she had to threaten them to get them to keep it all quiet from Brittany. It probably helped that they were all caught up in their own lives in different parts of the country when she told them. She's more worried now that they are all finally back in Lima and visiting with the now-seniors at McKinley.
Her mother calls her halfway through the drive to see how she's doing and ask where she is. Santana keeps the conversation short because whenever she's on the phone with someone in Lima, whether it's her mother or father, Quinn, or Kurt, her heart starts thumping in her chest and she can't stop nervously tapping her foot.
She takes a detour in Columbus to the store she called two month earlier when she first found out the date of the graduation ceremony. The manager is all too happy to hand over her purchase in exchange for her credit card and she can almost feel the money draining out of her bank account, but when she looks at what she bought, it's all worth it. Ignoring the manager's too-large and too-fake smile, she takes her credit card back and practically skips back out to her car to tuck her purchase into her suitcase.
The last leg of the trip is the longest and the hardest because she's so close to Lima and so close to Brittany and she knows that even when she gets there, she won't be able to see her until the next night at the ceremony. Her eyes are tired and her whole body feels heavy when she finally drives past the "Welcome to Lima" sign and she's ready to pass out when she parks in her parents' driveway.
She sits in the driver's seat staring straight ahead for at least ten minutes before her mother finally comes out of the house and ushers her inside. Her father gets her suitcase out of the car for her and puts it up in her old room as her mother fixes her a cup of tea and warms up a bowl of chicken noodle soup for her.
"Just get this in your stomach and you can go to bed," her mother says, setting the bowl down in front of her and gently putting a spoon in her hand. "Your father is putting your car in the garage just in case Brittany drives by and he already put your suitcase up in your old room. What did you pack in there to make it so heavy, sweetheart?"
But Santana can barely feed herself, let alone carry on a conversation with her mother, so she slowly eats her soup as she listens to her mother talk on and on about the neighbors and how Brittany's been doing and the poor boy with cancer in the hospital her father's been treating.
"Let the poor girl breathe, Maribel," her father laughs, kissing Santana on the top of the head as her mother clicks her mouth shut and glares at him. "It's good to have you home, Santana. Your mother's made up your bed upstairs. Do you want to finish eating or just go to sleep?"
Santana mumbles a response and her spoon clatters to the kitchen table as she tries to stand up. Her father wraps an arm around her waist, lifting her with the other arm beneath her knees, and carries her bridal-style to her room and lays her in bed. Her mother follows, pulling off her shoes and her jeans and pulling a sheet over her before shutting off the light and closing the door. She's asleep before her father carries her even halfway up the stairs.
She wakes up the next morning not knowing where she is. For a moment, she freaks out, thinking she's been kidnapped while walking home from work, but then she recognizes the posters framed on her walls and the sheets on her bed and her suitcase setting on the chest at the foot of her bed. Breathing in deeply, she relishes the smell of her childhood home and lies in bed for a few more minutes before she gets up.
Her mother is making breakfast when she shuffles into the kitchen and slides onto a chair. Her plate isn't even fully on the table before she starts eating and her mother stares at her like she's a wild animal. She's finished eating within ten minutes and her mother just dishes her another plate of food as she shakes her head in disbelief.
"You would think that I didn't give you enough money last year to feed yourself while in New York," her mother jokes as she sits down across from her.
Santana stops eating and looks up with wide eyes.
"You do have enough money, don't you?" her mother asks worriedly. "You didn't spend it all on clothes, did you? You're not living on the streets?"
"No, no, I'm fine, it's just…" Santana trails off.
"What? Are you in trouble?" her mother asks, her eyes wide with worry. "You know you can come to your father and I for anything, right?"
"I got accepted to NYU and I'm saving up for tuition," Santana blurts out.
Her mother is silent and Santana begins to worry. She knows her mother gave her the money so she could try to get a gig in New York and is worried that she did the wrong thing, telling her mom that that's what she was going to do. She regrets not telling her that she does want to go to college before now.
"It's just… the singing thing didn't really work out too well," Santana hurries to say, trying to explain. "I mean, yeah, I got a couple gigs, but there are so many people in New York looking for places to sing that most spots are filled up months in advance. I was lucky that I got a spot in the first month I was there. And I was thinking with a degree… I want to act, and maybe even write, and I can get a degree for both those things at NYU. I got accepted into Tisch and I got a scholarship, but it doesn't cover everything and I almost have enough…."
"That's fantastic!" her mother exclaims, a smile spreading across her face as she reaches across the table and takes Santana's hand in her own. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?"
"I thought you would be disappointed in me," Santana murmurs.
"I could never be disappointed in you," her mother says sincerely. "I told you that when you came out to us and I'm telling you again now. And I most certainly am not disappointed that you decided to go to college, applied all on your own, and got into one of the best schools in the country. I am so proud of you, Santana. So, so proud."
Santana smiles at her mom. "Thanks," she whispers. "Do you… do you think we could drive to the next town over so I can get flowers for Brittany's graduation tonight? I'd feel weird not having anything to give her and I really just want to get her flowers."
"Of course, Santana, of course," her mother says, her face softening. "We'll leave as soon as you're ready.
It becomes a girls' day out. Her mother drives them thirty minutes away and they go dress shopping for the graduation ceremony and find Santana the perfect summer dress. They spend three hours in the flower shop and her mother finally has to yell at Santana to hurry up and choose before she finally tells the florist to get her two bouquets of yellow roses. When her mother sends her a questioning glance because yellow roses aren't exactly romantic, Santana just shakes her head and tells her that yellow is Brittany's favorite color.
They make it just before the procession begins and Santana sits with her friends as her parents go and sit with Brittany's family. She smiles at everyone and gives them hugs and Kurt murmurs in Santana's ear that Brittany looks absolutely stunning in her dress and that she looks so grown up in her cap and gown. Santana gives him a thankful smile and she's already crying and Kurt just hands her a tissue.
Brittany steps up to the podium to give her Class President speech and Santana can barely choke down the sobs that are threatening to crawl out of her throat.
"Good evening school board members, Superintendent Smith, faculty and staff members, families and friends, and, most of all, graduating class of 2013," Brittany says, nervously glancing between her speech on the podium and the audience. "Most people put in a joke here, I guess, but I'm not going to do that, because I think we've all joked around enough in our high school careers and one more joke from me isn't going to make much of a difference."
She takes a deep breath and stared out at the crowd. "We're graduating," she says, a small smile on her face. "That's something that I've wanted to say for the past year. As some of you know, this is my second senior year, my second reigning term as class president, and my fifth year of high school. I didn't graduate last year like I was supposed to and I finally am now, and I couldn't be happier.
"A lot of people talk about how we're all going to do an awesome in college or in the military or working jobs, but enough people have been telling us that for the past few months and I want to talk about something different. I want to talk about what he had while we were still in high school, and what we still have."
Kurt slides his hand onto Santana's lap and she takes it gratefully, squeezing it tightly as tears stream down her face. She watches and listens proudly as her girlfriend continues giving her speech.
"As much as we're glad to get out of high school, we need to remember that these are the years that shape us. Sure, the next couple years will determine where we'll end up, but high school shaped who we are and who we're going to be for the rest of our lives.
"We made lifelong friends here, both with our fellow students and with the faculty. We learned stuff that we're never going to use, like the periodic table and how to conjugate regular –er verbs in the imperfect tense in Spanish, but we also learned things that we're going to use every day for the rest of our lives, like how to make friends, how to trust people, and, most of all, that we all have a family here at McKinley.
"Because no matter where we go, no matter what we're doing, whether we're fighting in Afghanistan eight months from now or accepting an Academy award ten years from now, we all have something in common: we came from McKinley High School. We all came from the same place, had the same teachers, and had many of the same experiences for the past four years of our lives, and because of that we're all connected."
Brittany looks back down at her sheet of paper. "Principal Figgins told me that this has to be short, so I'm going to end on this note: we owe everything to the people here, whether it's our fellow classmates, our teachers, or our parents. They've been supportive since the beginning, and because of that, I think we can all be sure that we're going to do our best to make them proud. Congratulations, Class of 2013."
Santana watches as Brittany walks back to her seat, speech in hand, and can't help the swell of pride that grows in her chest. She watches as they all get their diplomas and starts crying again when Brittany waves hers in the air to cheers from the audience and from everyone in the graduating class. Then Kurt's pulling her up out of her seat to go backstage to get ready for the number they've arranged to sing with Mr. Schuester and Principal Figgins.
When she gets backstage, she gives Mr. Schuester a long hug and takes the microphone from him, giving him a grateful smile when he tells her to just switch it on once the backing track starts playing. Everyone else lines up to file onstage and she rushes out from backstage to enter through the doors down the aisle in the audience seats.
"Before everyone throws their caps and starts spraying the silly string in celebration, I would like to present the graduating New Directions Class of 2012," Mr. Schuester says into the microphone, and all the people on New Directions who are graduating tonight look around excitedly as the music starts and start cheering when Mercedes, Kurt, Puck, Quinn, Rachel, Finn, and Mike all file on stage with their microphones. Brittany looks disappointed when she doesn't see Santana among them, but she quickly hides it with a smile, waving excitedly at Quinn who waves back.
Then the music is starting and Santana almost forgets to turn on her microphone before she has to start singing the first verse of "It's Time." Brittany's face falls a little when she realizes it's her and Santana's song and it takes a moment for Brittany to realize that it's actually Santana singing and then she's looking around frantically, searching for her onstage and in the audience and it's at that moment that Santana decides to step out of the shadows and start walking down the aisle toward the stage.
Tears are streaming down Brittany's face and the grin that threatens to split her face in two is so worth the months Santana's had to keep everything a secret from her. She walks slowly up the stairs onto the stage and towards Brittany, smiling widely at her.
Santana barely manages to keep her grip on the microphone as Brittany tackles her into a hug and kisses her soundly and all Santana can comprehend is her girlfriend's lips against hers before she realizes Puck has taken over her part for her and everyone is cheering madly. She manages to pick up back at the last chorus of the song, then Principal Figgins is announcing the graduation of the Class of 2013 and everyone goes wild.
"You're here," Brittany whispers through her tears, cradling Santana's face in her hands and staring at her unbelievingly. Santana is crying, too, as she nods and Brittany is kissing her again and she just can't help but pick up her girlfriend and twirl her around because she just looks so smart and proud in her cap and gown.
Her mother finally pushes through the crowd with the bouquets of yellow roses and Santana gives them to Brittany who just shakes her head and starts sobbing. It takes Santana a moment, but she finally manages to give the bouquets to Brittany's parents and pull her from the crowd to an empty hallway.
"What's wrong?" Santana asks.
"Nothing, it's just… everything is so perfect and I'm waiting to wake up and for this all to be a dream and have it be the morning of my first day of my fifth year of high school all over again," Brittany cries, and Santana just takes her in her arms and rocks her back and forth, rubbing soothing circles on her back and pressing kisses to the side of her head.
"Brittany, look at me," Santana whispers, and Brittany pulls back a little so she could look in her eyes. "You just graduated and I'm here to celebrate that and we're going to have an awesome time while I'm here, okay? Now I heard Blaine is hosting a graduation party at his house after this. How about we get you all cleaned up and into some party clothes before we head on over to his place, okay?"
Brittany smiles and nods through her tears and Santana spends another ten minutes kissing them all away before she takes Brittany's hand and leads her back into the auditorium, not caring that the blonde is squeezing a little too hard for comfort because she knows exactly how she's feeling.
They arrive at the party forty-five minutes late because Brittany pins Santana to her bedroom door and makes out with her for a good twenty minutes before Santana finally gets her head on straight and pushes Brittany gently away and reminds her that they have somewhere to be. There's karaoke and drinks (non-alcoholic, but Puck promises that he'll break out the good stuff later) and everyone is just excited to finally all be together again.
"How's New York?" Quinn asks her when she's separated from Brittany about an hour after they get there. "Is it everything you hoped it would be?"
Santana shrugs. "I'm going to Tisch next year," she says nonchalantly, and Quinn squeals and pulls her into a congratulatory hug that Santana manages to worm her way out of. "But it's been good, I guess. Trying to get gigs, but there's not much open for people who don't already have a reputation, and it takes years to build one in New York. How's Yale?"
"Well, I've got a 4.0 and I'm part of the girls acapella group and I'm currently seeing a boy I met in my biology class, so I'd say it's going pretty good," Quinn says, and she elaborates on everything because Santana asks her to and it isn't until Santana realizes it's half-past midnight that she stands up and apologizes.
"I'm sorry, its just… there's one more thing I need to do with Brittany tonight to celebrate," she says apologetically, and she makes a face when Quinn raises her eyebrows in interest. "And no, as much as I would like to make love to my girlfriend, that's not on the agenda when we're both staying at our parents' houses."
"Never stopped you before," Quinn says, and Santana just slaps her on the arm.
"Call me to hang out sometime. I'm in town for another week before I go back," she says, giving Quinn one last hug before setting out to find Brittany.
Brittany is caught up in a conversation with Kurt when Santana finally finds her. Kurt smiles as Brittany launches herself into Santana's arms and kisses her.
"Hey, I was thinking we could head out now," Santana says, lacing her fingers with Brittany's. "I still have one more thing I want to do with you before the night is over. Do you mind heading out a little early? I know Puck was going to bring out the alcohol soon but we could probably convince my parents to give us some champagne or wine in celebration."
"Anything is fine as long as you're there," Brittany says and Kurt rolls his eyes at the sappiness, but he doesn't understand how difficult it's been for them for the past year, especially with Santana not being able to come back to Lima for Christmas. So they say their goodbyes and Santana leads Brittany out to her car and begins to drive.
"Where are we going?" Brittany asks.
"It's a surprise."
They get there fifteen minutes later and a smile lights up Brittany's face as she recognizes their stargazing field. She's out of the car before Santana can open her mouth and she just shakes her head and smiles as the love of her life bounds across the field and collapses in a heap in the long grass. Santana gets out of the car more slowly and lies down beside her, tangling their hands together as they stare up at the night sky.
"You're breaking up with me, aren't you?" Brittany chokes out.
"What?" Santana exclaims disbelievingly, turning to look at Brittany. "What would make you think that?"
"You've found some girl who's awesome and talented and smart in New York and that's why you didn't tell me you were coming and you're going to break up with me now so you can be with her," Brittany sobs, curling into Santana's embrace. "I'm sorry I wasn't smart enough to graduate with you, San, but I promise I'll do better. I'll get such good grades at Juilliard and we don't have to even see each other every day so you don't get tired of me…."
"Brittany, look at me," Santana says sternly, and Brittany lifts her head to look at her with big, blue eyes that are watering with tears. Santana's heart breaks and she lifts a hand to gently tuck a stray piece of blonde hair behind her ear. "Britt, I love you more than anyone and I could never break up with you. I actually brought you out here to, uh, to ask you something."
The blonde stares at her as Santana tugs her to her feet.
"Are you asking me to move in with you?" Brittany asks quietly.
"I thought that was a given," Santana says softly, giving her a small smile, and Brittany laughs with her.
"Look, Britt, I know I haven't been perfect," she says, her tone growing serious. "I hurt you a lot in high school because I was scared, and it was stupid for me to be scared because all I needed was you to pull me through everything. And you were there for me all along, whether I realized it or not."
"San, that doesn't matter," Brittany murmurs quietly, giving her a small smile and quirking her head to the side. "It's all in the past."
"I know, but it matters to me," Santana says, and suddenly she's lost track of the words and she stumbles over herself to find them again. "But through everything, through all my denial, coming to terms with who I am, getting outed, getting rejected by my Abuela, going through the rebellious period where I just wanted to be famous, and finally discovering what I want to do with my life, you've been there. And I just want to say that I'm always going to be there for you."
Brittany smiles at her, her tears dried and long forgotten, and nods. "I know, Santana, and you've been there," she says. "You've been there all along and I love you for it."
"I love you, too," Santana stutters out. "And that's why… why I want to ask you a question."
She's suddenly fumbling with something small in her hands and then she's getting down on one knee and looking up at Brittany with the most vulnerable expression on her face and a small black box held out in front of her. "Will you marry me?"
Brittany just stares at her with wide eyes. Santana's heart beats faster and faster in her chest and she starts to think that maybe she should have waited before buying a ring. She bites her bottom lip anxiously as she stares up at her girlfriend with a hopeful expression on her face, wondering if she should just laugh it off as a joke with every agonizing second that passes.
"You… you're not breaking up with me," Brittany whispers incredulously, eyes wide as she stares down at Santana. "You're not breaking up with me."
Santana gets to her feet and takes Brittany's hands in her own, pulling her close. "No, I want to marry you," she whispers back, pressing their foreheads together and smiling lovingly at her. "I want to be with you for the rest of my life."
"Me, too," Brittany says with a wide smile.
"So that's a yes?"
"Yes. Yes, I'll marry you."
A grin splits Santana's face in half and she fumbles with the ring and the box, finally managing to slip it onto Brittany's finger. They both stare at the ring for a moment, Santana only looking up when she realizes that Brittany's shoulders are shaking with sobs and there are tears streaming down her face.
"Britt, baby, what's wrong?" Santana asks, cradling her face in her hands.
"Nothing, I just… I'm just really happy," Brittany hiccups.
Santana smiles at her then kisses her, soft and sweet and sure. "Me, too, baby," she whispers. "Me too."
And she knows she's going to have to explain to both her and Brittany's parents what exactly she was thinking when she proposed. She knows they're going to get a lot of criticism from their friends and family about getting engaged so young. She knows people are going to judge her and Brittany when they see the wedding rings on their fingers, but right here, right now, in this moment… she couldn't be more sure of her decision.