oh yeah special thanks to:
MyExodus90
shi hime
sasusaku4life
for reviewing and all! thanks so much! its my first time to receive reviews! sorry if i havent updated much sooner.. screw me for that lol!
Disclamer: I do not own Naruto
Real Love
Chapter 1
She stood in shock. Blank eyes darting around every wall covered with unmistakably blood.
"Blood.."
The word rang trough her head. Their bodies are everywhere. She doesn't know what to do. She stood her ground, not doing anything but stare blankly at the blood-covered walls. She did not dare cry. She could see their heads, which were just a few feet away from where she stood. Pain and fear was written all over their expressions.
They have died painfully.
"Otousan.. Okasang.."
She stared and stared, not moving a muscle. The smell of blood stinging her sense of smell and the smell of their bodies rotting for being there for too long exposed to air. It was stinging her up to the extent that she could almost taste it. It was killing her. If the gory and horrible sight couldn't kill her enough, then the poisonous smell will. It may take a while, but she did not care cause anytime now she would be dead.
'Just a few more hours.. then my body will feel the effects of the poisonous air.. just a few more hours..'
She sat in the corner. Staring at her mother's eyes and fear stricken face. Not caring a bit if her whole back were soaked with blood because of the wall she's leaning in to. Her eyes were blank and her face emotionless.
'Just a few more hours..'
She was trying to kill herself.
Then before she knew it, she found herself in a different place and in a different situation. She was at the gates of Konoha. She was crying. She was feeling incredible pain inside her and the lump on her throat doesn't make it any better. She wanted to say it. She has to. Cause he can't leave. She gave in.
"I love you with all my heart!"
He walked towards her. Onyx eyes showing no signs of emotions and dark hair swaying with the cool air of the night. He was getting closer until they were only inches apart.
"Thank you.."
She passed out.
Sakura woke up. She's sweating and breathing heavily. Her clothes were soaked with sweat. She feels exhausted even though she just had her sleep. She lowered her head so that her eyes couldn't be seen.
"It's that damn dream again.." she whispered.
It's always the same. It starts off with the horrible sight of her parents being chopped to death for some unknown reason up to now. Even though the Hokage promised to find who killed them, she knew there's nothing she could do anymore. She would never find out. She would never know why. And when it came to the part where she willingly waits for death to come and take over her, it changes.
"Sasuke.."
She tried to push the thought away. She shouldn't be even thinking about him. She should have been used to it by now. She has these dreams for six years. For the first two years she dreamt about it she was always affected by it, she wouldn't eat and she would only go out to train and nothing more. She was afraid to sleep. But as the years passed she realized that they're just dreams and it's a really funny way to be vulnerable. Even though it talks about her past and pain, she realized she shouldn't be too affected by it. Past is past and there's nothing she can do about it anymore. She changed. And she changed a lot.
She glanced at the clock. It read four AM. What an ungodly hour to wake up she thought. But she knew she couldn't sleep again. Who can sleep after nightmares anyway.
She stood up and grabbed her towel then made her way to the bathroom. It's already like a daily routine for her. She'll go to sleep at night after a hard days work of training and missions, have the nightmares she always expected, wake up every four AM soaking with sweat and then go to the bathroom to take a bath. After dreaming about her parent's death every damn night, she always feels the blood that clothed her and the horrible scent of the poisonous air clinging on to her body. It never leaves her alone. So every time she wakes up, she takes a bath after. She wants herself to be clean. Especially if its blood that clinging on to her porcelain white colored skin.
The water was stunningly cold. But she did not flinch or complain. She washed herself with cold water all her life. And again, she told herself to be used to it.
"But maybe there are some things in life.. that you really just can't get used to.."
An image of him leaving Konoha popped out in her mind. She shut her eyes in frustration. It's true, not a day passed by without her not thinking about him. She even dreams about him. She can't believe that he's gonna be one of her nightmares. Does he really mean that much? She can't believe that he becomes one of her pain. But then again, when she thought about it, she'd laugh at herself. It's a foolish doubt, cause he had always been one of her pain. Even at her genin days, he hurt her countless of times but leaving the village was the most painful. So painful that it haunts her every night. There's no escaping him, except for those times when she's too caught up with her training or missions. But then after all those and with exhaustion taking over her body, there's always something that will pop out of nowhere that will instantly remind her of him. She would wonder how he looks now after all these years. What has he been doing? Where is he staying? Is he in good condition? Does he even think about going back to Konoha?
"Does he even think about me?"
And every time that question was thought, she constantly cursed herself for thinking about him. Cause she knew the answer to her own question.
"He would never think of me.. he doesn't care.. all he cares about is his stupid goals and power.."
Then she'd cursed herself again for she was thinking about him again. Even though she wouldn't admit it, she's the one with the problem. She herself is the one making her feel bad. She doesn't blame anyone but herself cause it's all her fault anyway. It's all her fault for feeling like this. It's her fault her parents died. She was never there to protect them. It's her fault why he left. She was never good enough. Even though she willingly gave herself to him, she was never good enough. She's too weak and vulnerable for someone as strong and determined to get power like him. It's all her fault. That's why she hated herself so much more than anyone else. So even though she's exhausted and cant barely move a muscle, she'd go train. Just to keep her mind working. She would go train as long as she likes. She would get all her anger and frustrations out until only exhaustion and physical pain is all that's left of her. She could go train as long as she likes, even if it kills her. Pain is an unbearable thing. Not physically, but emotionally.
Pain.
She's one with it. She considered herself one with it ever since her parent's died. Ever since he left. Yes, she has friends. But as much as she hated herself for admitting it, they're not enough to fill in the emptiness. She felt it everyday. And she still can't get used to it.
She turned off the shower. She was cold inside and out but she don't care. She wore her usual outfit, the one that she wears when she was still 15 but of course a lot bigger to fit her slender and more mature body beautifully. However, it's not red anymore but pure black. The clothes that she wore during her genin days were long gone. It seems like she hated everything about it. The memories it brought to her and even the color. She hated red. Even though she smells and touches blood almost everyday because of her missions and hospital works, she still hates it. It surprises her how it haunts her every night. She brushed her pink hair, now long and almost reaching up to her waist. She looked at the mirror. Vanity isn't really her thing now but even though she took no notice of it, she has all the right curves in all the right places that most men would die for. Her face much more mature and her eyes, not anymore the cheerful light green one. Her eyes were the one that changed the most, they're more mature and deep inside them, you can see the pain she went through which will make you look away almost instantly. She has a slender body and an intelligent mind. In short, she's breathtaking. She's the most sought after kunoichi in the village. Too bad she's not interested in stuffs like that anymore. She put on her hitai-ate at her forehead and proceeded outside her apartment. She lives alone now.
The moment she stepped outside, she felt the cold air brushed past her. It's almost winter. She figured the weather will be like this for the whole month but it could get colder if there's gonna be snow. She walked towards the forest. To what? To train of course. What else? That all she ever does now anyway. She loved training. Not because it's fun to do. Truth is, when she's training she tends to exhaust herself too much. Good thing she recovers quickly for her missions for the rest of the day. She loves it cause it keeps her mind off of things. She wants to get stronger. She's not the same Sakura anymore who cries because she had been rejected and who's always in the way when it comes to missions. That was the past. That Sakura was long gone along with her Inner voice. She almost killed herself emotionally. And it took her a very long time to do so.
The wind is cold and it burns her skin. But at the moment that she began training her genjutsu and taijutsu, perspiration took over her. After 3 hours of training non-stop, she stopped. She's tired and she needed to rest in order to be in good condition if ever the Hokage has something stored for her later that morning. The sun is out now and the birds in the forest were chirping loudly because of the racket she had made a while ago. It reminded her of him. She sighed, now is not the time to fight with herself. After thirty minutes of lying in the ground and staring into the sky thinking of her medic skills she got up. She saw a black crow hovering above her. The Hokage is calling her. She turned up to leave, gathered chakra at her feet and took the quickest route to get to the Hokage's office jumping from roof to roof. If the Hokage is calling her more earlier than she regularly does, then something was up.
This one seems important. She could feel it.
AN:
please review and tell me what you think!
thanks!