Disclaimer: I don't own Dynasty Warriors nor Koei ever own the Three Kingdoms novel or the records. Still, I wish Koei could have taken my suggestions, but I'm a westerner…
A/N: Thanks xsakura for proofreading. I may still edit this just in case.
Timeless Hero
Every period has one hero whose tragedy was its own Lord's broken oath, faith, or his Lord's jealousy. Honor is a difficult value more so than deceit because one bound by honor resort to obedient most often get abused by its own sovereignty's error. The life in an automaton government was the never ending curse of the Han's fall and the formation of the three states. The hero named Zhao Yun is every child's hero, but that troubled era.
Zhao Yun is alone on a dusky evening sitting with his eyes covered on shadow in the darkness in his office. His face appear slow in anger with deepen thoughts. He does not appear to look the same way as the people in Shu known him after he entered Yi Zhou a decade ago. He's not wearing the green scarf, his hair is covered on the helmet, and his armor is different. It's a very special armor that was forged by him alone.
"I have return from that harsh journey to recover our relations with Wu. That's the first time I've seen Sun Quan in person. He is definitely a guy with issues and not a lot of patient seeing as to why we loss Jingzhou. Haha…" Deng Zhi came into Zhao Yun's post residence at Jiangzhou.
Zilong didn't pay attention to the greeted minister. After Yi ling, he's been brooding here since his lord left with his dead brothers. There are so many things wrong with his life starting with the most problematic event he'll take to his grave soon…
"Seriously, I've worked myself with my life on the line to get the alliance with Jiangdong back. Are you not worrying about me, my friend?" Deng Zhi gave a look of disgust.
"That fool would never kill you because it's what the usurper wanted…" Zhao Yun said without turning his face at him.
"Cao Pi wants Sun Quan's son as a hostage to seal another alliance with Jiangdong. You could have come with me and see the look on Zhongmou's face when I mentioned about his son Deng," Deng Zhi said. He took at seat next the table. He missed the petition works from Zhuge Liang since the visit to Wu.
Deng Zhi examine the wooden scrolls his lord hadn't check on them for months, there's one deliberately asking to architect the farms. There's another with the marketing rates. Why isn't Zilong working the governing duties? He's best among the generals to handle this kind of work. Unlike Zhang Fei, Zhao Yun didn't get any of the landowners pissed off except if they were rigged with corruption. He don't even want to think about how bad it'll be between his lord and a corrupted noble come into political conflict. It's like putting iron on oil.
"Shouldn't you be going to Zhuge Liang to confirm the successful diplomacy?" Zhao Yun shot the question at the man still scanning the petitions.
"After my visit with you is finish, my friend. Kongming may already be expecting my success. Sun Quan really has no choice, but to accept the alliance otherwise, Chi Bi a fluke," Deng Zhi calmly answered.
"What Zhou Yu did, was suppose to buy us a lot of time….," Zhao Yun sighed.
" is long, not short. Will the land be at peace at the hands of Cao Pi?" Deng Zhi chuckled.
"Was there ever peace for me…?" Zhao Yun thought. He brood about everything that started and how he meet Liu Bei.
Steadfast loyalty without borders brought the survival of Liu Bei and the reunion of Guan Yu and Zhang Fei and then the meeting with Zhuge Liang. But, those weren't his influence according to others.
"You should let me take care of this and return home. Zhao Guang keeps telling me about his mother's problems. But my wife is worst than her," Deng Zhi turns to see Zhao Yun is still looking dark with the helmet. Heavens, why is Zhao Yun still wearing his helmet and armor?!
Something happened before he came back. Zilong secretly went on a mission alone. But, Zhuge Liang never planned anything for Zilong.
"Why are you on your armor? We aren't preparing for war yet," Deng Zhi said, worried that something causing Zhao Yun to be even groomier since Lord Liu Bei's death.
"Just another protocol, consider it secretive. I don't want Zhuge Liang to know. He'll never know what I truly feel after all this. Being the Emperor of China does give him a lot of luck," Zhao Yun coldly replied.
"Did you plan to assassinate Cao Pi?" Deng Zhi now looks grim upon the revealing deception.
"If it helps me feel better as with every single Han loyalist the Cao family murdered, yes I planned it. Couldn't have gone wrong if it weren't for…," Zhao Yun stopped and gritted his teeth; it's frustrating and has wounded his heart too deep for the last 30 years.
"So, it was during Wu's resistance at Guanling before I returned? Then you were secretly going to the east while I was busy checking my relatives from Jing. Tell me about it. What stopped you from trying to become who you are not?" after he sighed, Deng Zhi sat next to him. Zhao Yun took a deep breath.
It wasn't just plotting an assassination, but he also met Cao Ren. He met people who witnessed Guan Yu and Guan Ping's deaths. Along with Wang Fu's death, he found out about Meng Da and his pitiful new position after he betrayed Liu Feng and those are everything he witnessed right after the usurper did it.
"If I go back 30 years ago, we wouldn't be at our respective destinies. This sick twisted destiny that makes heaven a cruel reality like the old laws, the greedy nobles, the scholars, those soldiers who sought for gain and even my past choices," Zhao Yun finally put his eyes on Zhi.
The man clearly understands what Zhao Yun is talking about. The past 30 years had been chaotic. The recurring lords of the anti Dong Zhuo coalition were fighting amongst themselves for nothing, but false contempt.
"I've choosing the path, but now look where I am. Look what happened? The general consensus is to serve, but what am I serving now? Why did I let it happen? No, seriously, why did I involve myself with the problem? Those people at my hometown wanted to rid themselves of those problems I mentioned, but look what we're getting right now? More conflict!" Zhao Yun raises his voice so loud now that Zhang Yi is here to inform Zilong about military training.
"Pardon the interrupt, Zhang Bogong, sir," Zhang Yi bowed.
Zhao Yun didn't stop his rant and people may think he's gone senile, "If those scoundrels have found a situation to restore order and control, then they sure gotten away with getting people to fear them in rule! That is the answer to his empire!"
"An Empire stolen…" Deng Zhi rubbed his chin.
"And we're still the ones on the run. The criminals, the rebels the usurper stares at us in the eye. Even Yuan Shao's former pets are now serving their new Emperor as if they're supposed to be serving Cao Cao for the Han! What have I done!? What have I done so wrong to Heaven to allow everything to happen now!?" after Zhao Yun's last sentence, Zhang Yi though he is interrupting.
"Keep listening, Bogong," Deng Zhi crossed his arms and await more of his old friend's ranting. He can't believe what he's seeing after the mess at Yi Ling. This is now Zhao Yun the brooding angst hero with a tragedy of being this era's righteousness…
"Every day I can listen to gossipers mentioning his name. Every night I get the same damned nightmare with his pale wrenched face I saw at Hanshui! I can't even get his icy face that looks and shapes like the other 'me'! The 'Me' I could have become!" Zhao Yun takes the mirror and reflects his handsome appearance from years, but now it's he's just too manly with a beard now grown. He looks dark like him.
"You'll get used to it. The whole land will know who Cao Pi is. Such enormous influence he has, a great poet, an outstanding scholar, an able politician, fencer, we know all from our spies and not to mention a hot wife. Why do they get the better women I ask? I'll never know since Cao Cao has so many erotic women spawn from his many talented sons. Men will seek opportunities from a guy like him," Deng Zhi turns to Zhang Yi seeing the Yi standing competence and with a firm look of an obedience soldier.
"I have nothing. After 30 years, I'm still…nothing. I didn't do much for my Lord to get that kind of influence," Zhao Yun shook his head.
"If we didn't know the true about your lord, we would never have served you guys. Liu Zhang doesn't care about restoring the Han dynasty, although I feel bad about Zhang Ren. It can't be helped. I've just met Liu Zhang earlier; he's enjoying the luxury with the Sun family. Just another guy who sought for gain; I'm glad I'm on your side, Zilong…really. Right, Zhang Yi?" Deng Zhi exchanges a grin at Zhang Yi who in return nodded.
"Is it the right side? I mean, all three are looking to bring peace," Zhao Yun grunted afterwards.
"What peace? We still have a man who brought fear to the people in the north and an impatience fool in the east who brought more disaster to the land. We can blame Guan Yu, but it's obvious, Sun Quan doesn't believe we'll leave Wu in peace if we reach the capital. Wu wants prosperity in exchange, they let the Han usurpation happen, not us," Deng Zhi took a scroll that was on the table and scanned it.
"Considering those who serve Sun Quan gave his loyalty to the families of Jiang Dong. Wu has such heroes whom always give everything they got to bring prosperity to Jiang Dong," Zhao Yun voice now lowers into a tone of depression.
"Wu has such loyal officers indeed," Deng Zhi nodded.
"Aye," Zhang Yi agreed.
"I've made my mistake now…" Zhao Yun got up and paced behind from the two.
"You never made any mistakes as I recounted. You did all the right things that worked. Zilong, why are you being hard on yourself right now? None of this has anything to do with you," Deng Zhi knew something was going on when he left. It didn't take long to figure it out since Zhao Yun had not been the same hero children and the townfolks loved after Yi Ling.
"I could never be as flawless as you are, General. None of the officers can. Wang Ping, Chen Dao, Ma Dai, Li Yan, and Wei Yan, no one can," Zhang Yi said.
"That is exactly why I said I made a mistake!" Zhao Yun urged.
"We all admire you, Zhao Yun. It's no mistake," Deng Zhi sighed.
"If there is a mistake, then it's all of us believes in you as you believe in Liu Bei," Zhang Yi uttered.
Zhao Yun chuckled. He finds it amusing to be everyone's admiration to a General on the now losing side.
"Seriously, Zhang Yi and I would rather turn away from Liu Zhang before we both end up like Zhang Ren. Liu Zhang doesn't care about the people's opinion or that the people really do need free will," and then the thought hits him, he had a discussion with Zhuge Liang about giving the people free will.
"Is that still the reason why both of you are on our side? Kongming and I can't offer a single thing of prosperity that Sun Quan and the Usurper have given!" Zhao Yun now just punched the table so hard that started the two.
"Zilong, we didn't serve Liu Bei to get better salary! That was all Meng Da's reason for betraying us! I beg you, you're way off judging our trust," Zhang Yi urged.
"They.." Zhao Yun points directly at the northeast destination Wu and the now Wei Empire, "….Can offer you more."
"All we want is a hero, Zilong, a true hero that can promise the hope of a dying cause. We didn't know how much Liu Bei values his best friends more than himself…" Deng Zhi calmly refuted.
"A hero of the Han," Zhang Yi nodded.
Zhao Yun gave a look of disbelief, if they're looking for that kind, then they should be staying with Zhuge Liang's gathering, not him. No, he's not the hero, Kongming is that hero. He spends most of his life getting Liu Bei to stay alive, getting the troops to survive the chaos so they can go back to their families. Those soldiers' families, it reminds him of so long when he left his mother and it's not just his mother, he left everything to help Liu Bei.
"You sought the wrong guy," Zhao Yun coldly said.
"Then what would Zhuge Liang think?" Deng Zhi readies for any more negativity his lord having.
"Kongming has doubts about me," Zhao Yun reminiscence the days he and Zhuge Liang talked about the orders given and how all Kongming's plans worked just by following them along.
"Last I heard from Zhuge Liang, he chanted his praise, 'Zhao Yun is my favorite general'," Deng Zhi remembers the moment the ministers were discussing about which General they preferred.
"Isn't Ma Chao better," Zhao Yun glared.
"…." Deng Zhi and Zhang Yi never bother to get on something not even debatable unless being an upstart fool who caused too much to lose and brought the price of his former wife's death is better than the man they're looking at in front of them.
"I'm not even sure where I'm positioned among all these….warriors. One ranked above me," Zhao Yun scoffed.
"Zhao Yun, what's wrong with you? Tell me, what stopped you from trying to assassinate Cao Pi?" Deng Zhi returned to the original subject demanding an answer.
"General plotting an assassination attempt?" Zhang Yi asked alarmingly.
"It's confidential. We can't let Zhuge Liang or the administrators know," Deng Zhi explained.
"Over 30 years and I missed her…" Zhao Yun thought. Although, they don't know, he will take it to his grave soon.
"You won't tell us the real reason? If it's that personal, it must be someone you know that's stopping you from assassinating him. I won't stop you from trying since all the horrendous acts he did that straight up lead to the abdication of the Han Dyansty. But, think about this, Zhao Yun?" Deng Zhi clears his throat and Zhao Yun gazed at him.
"You might avenge the Han Dynasty, but you'll leave the north entirely turbulent into greater chaos and disorder. The Xiong, the Huns, Khitans, Goguryueo, Qiang, Wuwan, all those are enemies of the Cao family. They have too many enemies that sought to take advantage of the Han abdication," and before Deng Zhi finished, he cleared his throat and bring up the dark truth "Cao Cao was the hero of this chaotic era, but his obsession with order, trying to abide the old laws of the Han mandate had kept the harshness and cruelty that the people were exhausted from it brought his son there to take advantage of it. Cao Cao's wealth and fortune, his power and authority, Cao Pi shallow it all for his birth right. Cao Cao is not my hero…, not the Hero to save the Han for me," Deng Zhi resumes reading the scroll.
The office became quiet after Deng Zhi spoke his mind about the worst that could happen than a divided land.
"So we leave the Han abdication be?" Zhao Yun winced.
"Sadly, yes. It's enough to prove Bogong and I are on the right side standing with you," Deng Zhi said.
Zhao Yun ponders on their commitment to fight for Liu Bei's cause. It's hard to believe Deng Zhi and Zhang Yi who were turncoats from Liu Zhang are loyal with honesty because they are willing to believe Liu Bei wants to save Liu Xie and now they're stuck with the kid he saved.
"Liu Chan may not be what Liu Bei was General, but you and Zhuge Liang hold responsible for the late Lord's ambition," Zhang Yi added.
Their lord let out a heavy sigh.
"I met a young man who had started his enlistment. He told me if we're on the right side opposite to Sun Quan and Cao Pi. His financial situation was poor because his mother and he moved here from Jing. I spend an hour watching that recruit training and wonder why he came to join us?" Zhao Yun closed his eyes remembering the fear and doubt of the new recruits like that man.
"We couldn't pay them more than they hope for. This is a difficult time for us right now," Zhang Yi gave Zhao Yun the report from the barracks as the reason why he's here, "Your report."
The report lay on the desk. If he checks it now, he'll feel more pity and frustration about it. Why are those recruits willing to join him with little assertion for their wages?
"I don't know if I can hold on to the hopes of the lowly and humble. Liu Bei dead, Guan Yu dead, Zhang Fei is dead…" Zhao Yun muttered.
"…." Deng Zhi felt he had reached his limit to comfort his friend.
"…and now she's dead too," Zhao Yun thought.
"The last thing we want to deal with besides Cao Pi is our hero losing the will to believe in his self. General, you are a timeless zodiac of the times. When you don your armor and mount on that horse, you gave us a reason to assure there is hope. After you aide Liu Bei to Jing, save his son, allied with the Sun family at Chi Bi, assist the surrender of Liu Zhang, and defeated Cao Cao by saving Huang Zhong; there are several reasons why those soldiers are still standing by at the base waiting for their Hero to savor that spiritual courage one more time till the day they die for you," Deng Zhi about to head towards the exit nodding Zhang Yi to follow him out.
"I'll die for them. They don't have to become a burden to our losses…" Zhao Yun grunted.
"They're not a burden, General. They know the truth to your struggles. They saw the inspiration you brought into this chaos. It's worth more than our wages," Deng Zhi refuted.
"But, I'm not their 'God of War'!" Zhao Yun shouted.
'They believed so…." Deng Zhi coolly exits the office with Zhang Yi leaving Zhao Yun clinging into the fate of the loser.
"I'm just…just a…for heaven's sake…why?" Zhao Yun taking out all his frustration, he slammed his right fist into the desk. After they left, his atmosphere went back into the darkness brooding about the usurper and Liu Bei's death.
"Can I replenish their hopes to fight back…?" Zhao Yun said to himself. Taken out something from his small pouch, it's an old earring given to him all those years ago. The exquisite quality of this jewelry is the value of his lady's beauty.
After all those years, she's still in his heart. Her struggles became his struggles as he fought to hold the guilty of choosing the lonely journey to restore the Han Dynasty. It was suppose to be his burden, the pain, alone, not all those soldiers following him. Heaven forgive him for leading these men, those people on a dark, cornered road towards doom. Because he was their hero, a timeless hero never forgotten…