Left, right, dodge, left-right-left stab, duck-stab, roll-stab-slash.
I chant these in my head as I fight the training bot. I came in early. Four hours early. I wanted to practice my fencing, I was sure I could beat Tanith this time. I'd never beaten her in my four months of training yet.
The beep beep beep noise of the robot powering off in defeat startled me out of my thoughts. I had gotten too comfortable, and things had gotten too instinctive. I'd started to think about New York.
I stood up panting. I hadn't really been paying attention. The training bot was predictable, much unlike a real person. I have a bad habit of getting too comfortable and letting my mind wander. Not a good habit when you regularly fight real people.
Glancing at my phone I sighed. Skulduggery was on surveillance a couple hours away. He wasn't allowed to tell me what he was doing. Ghastly was forcing me to go to the Academy, Corrival Academy, to be exact, and he didn't want me involved with any cases. It was a privilege, only the elite could get in, blah blah blah. Even though technically, Skullduggery was my legal guardian, he had only half-heartedly agreed. I was stuck going to boarding school. To be fair, it was only forty five minutes or so away from the center of Roarhaven, but I still wouldn't be able to leave the school often.
Tanith was not usually late, but this time I was extra early. I woke up too quickly and I had too much I didn't want to think about. I'd done a few rounds more when as I decided to call her to call her. She walked in as soon as I picked up my phone.
"Angel!" She called. I smiled, still a little out of breath. She must have noticed the sweat on my body and my quivering muscles. Tanith sighed. "You came early again, didn't you?"
I nodded. "Too many things I didn't want to think about." I noticed her look. "I don't really want to talk about it." I murmured looking down at the floor.
"It's ok if you, you know, want to talk. Maybe it would be better..."
"No! I mean, really, I'm fine."
Tanith raised an eyebrow. "Really? Fine? Does waking up at one in the morning screaming and sobbing sound fine to you?"
I pursed my lips. She had a point, but I really didn't want to talk about it. Talking about it meant thinking about, which meant reliving it. I never want to relive that moment again. Ever.
"He told you about that?" I finally answered.
"Uh huh. And how it's the third night in a row it's happened. Don't lie to me, you look like a raccoon. How much sleep have you been getting?"
I just shrugged and looked down at the floor. My muscles still shook a bit, and I was still sore from last night's session, but I needed to just put all the pain and fear into a fight.
"I've been working on my fencing," I said, changing the subject. "You said I needed to think about what I'm doing, and to stay on edge, not get placid." I could tell she didn't want to ignore my issues, but she decided to leave it.
I talk to Tanith sometimes, but I'm careful. When I do talk to her, I talk about the New York before my parent's death, and that's when she sees me. It's nice to have someone know me without all the issues.
The morning went by in a blur and was fairly uneventful. I had a new set of bruises to soak off, and had yet to beat Tanith. She suggested ice cream, so I agreed. Ice cream is the best medicine for anything.
000000000
The ice cream was good, but it got me thinking.
Thinking about New York.
I can't think about New York.
Unfortunately, my dreams are way too much out of my control.
Was it bad?
Well…
Let's just say I woke up screaming.
Again.