I've always wondered what would happen if there was ever a food fight at Hogwarts. How Dumbledore would react. What was going on? How and who started it. And other stuff like that.

I'm going to set one day during their 3rd year.

Chapter 1

Ron was walking down the corridor one sunny day. His spirits were up. His grades were doing awesome. He was probably going to have a nice day untill someone stuck out their foot and tripped him down the stairs.

His face growing hot and red, he looked up the stairs to see who had tripped him.

"Malfoy!" he growled as the small crowd around him laughed.

"Gotta watch those big feet of yours, Weasley!" he said, laughing and walked off.

H-U-F-F-L-E-P-U-F-F

Ron burst into the Common Room looking furious.

"Ron? What's a matter?" Hermione asked as he passed a 5th year boy and girl. One with dark brown hair that stuck up at odd angles and the other with slightly bushy redish auburn hair that fell a little past her shoulders.

"Malfoy tripped me down a flight of stairs." he growled.

"Sound awful." she said comfortingly.

"He should pay." Harry said.

"Yeah! But how?" Ron complained.

Harry thought about it for a while.

R-A-V-E-N-C-L-A-W

The next morning, they had Potions. Snape was teaching them about the Quieting Potion which Harry and Ron quietly dubbed the 'Shut the Hell Up Potion'.

"Now, you take lemon and add three drops. POTTER, WEASLEY! What are you doing!"

"Listening, Professor." Harry said.

Snape walked over to Harry's cauldron to find a mixture of what looked like boiling black water.

"It should be white, Potter. 20 points from Gryffindor." he said and walked off.

Harry growled and added the three drops of lemon.

After class...

"Snape is the most..." he added a few choice swears here which made a Prefect from Ravenclaw with a clean cut light auburn hair who was passing by yell, "Watch your mouth!"

"Well, you can't really do anything about it, can you?" Hermione asked.

"I might." Harry said.

"Harry! You can't do anything to a teacher! You'll get in so much trouble! You'll get kicked off the Quidditch team and loose so many points. Especially if it's Snape. He'll have you expelled." Hermione said as Harry and Ron made their way to Divination and Hermione left them to go to Arithmancy.

In that class was Pansy Parkinson. And poor Hermione had to sit next to her.

"Morning, Granger!" she said a little smugly.

Hermione gave her a glare as she sat down.

When she sat down, she found that she was sitting in something gooey and wet. She jumped up and screamed to find that she had sat on an oozing Caribbean medium sized worm. It now was on her chair, smushed and oozing green liquid and puss.

She looked around at her robes which were covered in the green puss liquid.

Half the class started laughing while the other half made noses or gestures of total disgust.

Pansy Parkinson was shrieking with laughter as as Professor Vector came in, she got rid of everything that was the worm. Except the stuff on Hermione's robes.

"Miss Granger, may you sit down so we can get on with the lesson?" Professor Vector asked.

Hermione shot a dangerous look at Pansy and sat down. Hearing the squelch of the stuff on her robes as she did so.

S-L-Y-T-H-E-R-I-N

Ron and Harry were already in the Great Hall when Hermione stormed in and sat opposite of them.

"Wa ah waer, Er-mi-ee?" (What's the matter, Hermione?) Ron asked with a mouth full of food.

"PANSY PARKINSON!" Hermione yelled and took a fistful of food and shoved it in her mouth.

"What she do?" Harry asked.

"She got me to sit on a medium sized Caribbean Worm! It burst and oozed green puss liquid all over my robes! It wont come off!"

"How come she didn't get in trouble? Wouldn't Professor Vector notice a worm oozing in her classroom?" Ron asked, now that he had swallowed his food.

"She got rid of it before Professor Vector came in." Hermione said bitterly.

"We should make them pay!" Ron yelled. "I wonder if I could get Percy to take points away from Malfoy and Parkinson?"

"What about Snape?" Harry asked.

"We could just get him sacked." Ron said simply.

"I don't think Percy's going to take away points just because you ask him, Ron. And I don't think that'll work, either." Hermione said, thinking.

"Well, what will?" Harry asked as Ron stared at the big bowl of mashed potatoes. Then an idea struck him.

He took a huge glob of it and placed it on his plate.

"Wingardium Leviosa." he muttered to his plate as it rose a foot above the table. He aimed his mashed potatoes at Malfoy's head and said "Waddiwasi."

The potatoes flew through the air over the other tables. Everybody looked up and watched it (even the teachers) as it flew over and SPLAT on Draco Malfoy's head.

The entire hall burst into laughter. Even the teachers laughed a little but tried not to.

Malfoy wiped the potatoes off his head slowly and picked up a mound of rice and flung it across the hall at Ron. But Ron was expecting it. So he used a spell to make it change it's course aiming at Pansy Parkinson. But it fell a little bit early and landed on the head of a Hufflepuff 5th year with shoulder length brown hair that was layered and straight. Her friend next to her started laughing at her, so she picked up the jug of Pumpkin Juice and poured it all over her friend. Her friend looked furious so she picked up a plate of pie and was going to fling it in her friends face when it hit the boy sitting besides her.

The entire hall burst with food of all sorts flying everywhere.

The Food Fight will be in the next chapter. See ya!

7-7-07! OH MY GOD! SEVENSEVENSEVEN!!!