A/N: Well I am back with another installment. This time with another PoV based of Chrollo's feelings and how he muses on his life and the events on how a certain blond manage to fall into it. This focuses on how he eventually came to fall for the one person he never dreamed would ever be possible.
This fic is part of the series - Written in the Stars and is connected to the main story, Requiem of Fate.
Companion fic is Behind Blue Eyes.
Credit and shout out to Sweets Dreamer for her lovely contributions to this fic! Without her, it just may not have been possible. :D
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. This is simply my own writings based off headcannons and roleplays.
Light within the Darkness
It's raining; the crisp deluge of the night began pouring down and soaking into my clothes, plastering them to my now cold frame, though its frigid caress doesn't bother me. My mind wanders; I had come here alone to think - for the longest I had been pondering, looking back on my life and how the events lead up to where I stand now. So many occurrences, so many different tidings and each and every outcome lead to the exact same result, and it is in that same result I have found my life has drastically changed. Not that I am complaining. Quite to the contrary, it was a quintessential effect. One could say I am quite pleased. Despite everything I had been through which lead up to this predominate point, I am finding that I enjoy how it has ended up for me. Perhaps I sound presumptuous, greedy even, but I will admit that I would not have it any other way.
However my past, granted it's been laden with thorns, it isn't exactly pretty. I had been through many trials and suffered at the hands of an inexorable fate which pushed me to rise above and take on a much more despicable façade. The blood, it runs thick on my hands, stained with the countless horrific deeds I had easily done with gratifying fulfillment. All of this, everything I had done, was the spiteful recourse for what I was forced to endure most of my life. How I was made to live. Growing up with practically a menial existence while crawling through the filth and anachronistic, it left me indifferent and viewing the world with eyes that saw through stained glass.
It was all I could do to pacify my brooding state of mind. The world as I saw it at the time had taken everything away from me and it was my answer in response. To create calamity and destruction, to rip away what I felt was retribution indebted to me, I sought to bring everything and everyone to its knees, revealing in the grandeur of what sinful respite I created. It was in that moment of reprise where my obstinate plan would begin.
For those of us who had mutually suffered, we gathered, comprising of the best Meteor City had to offer. None of us wished to continue the desolate paths we led, opting for a much more exuberant way of life. Our grand works would be put into motion, paving a way into lavishness, instilling fear and creating a name for ourselves. From the ashes we rose, becoming what we are now; the Geneiryoden. The world would know of us and it would burn.
So many lives we had taken. So many we left to the falter of tribulation, and we stood at the pinnacle of it all, especially when we committed one of the biggest atrocities that would forever haunt me and drag me down into the merciless, cold depths of eternity. It was a big job. The proprietor had named the item being labeled as one of the fabled Seven Wonders; the Scarlet Eyes of a people who had made themselves clandestine from the rest of world.
That night we gave no mercy, demonic meaning amiss burning buildings and lamenting screams. Each and every member we slaughtered, leaving behind necrosis in our wake. It was glorifying, just the elation from pilfering and taking want we wanted. How those dying pleas and accusatory glares, just the way they fell, crumbling at our feet, it was like an intricate painting on canvas. Even as I look back on it now, just the masterpiece we created and the profit garnered from it, how far it had gone and the repercussions that eventually ensued, was it all really worth it?
For so long, it's how we lived. How I lived. Perpetually we danced on the razor's edge, bargaining our souls and giving into the illustrious delights as a result. The provocation was too great and we chose to continuously find the easier paths, succumbing to temptation. It was alluring, exhilarating and by the same token, excoriating. For each and every crime we committed, we extricated our souls. But for us, it was all we had ever known, and we were ever satisfied with it.
We were never safe from persecution, and I was no exception. But honestly, I never tried to escape. I had always sought refuge in the comfort of the twisted and callous fingers of injustice, realizing that this was what I had come to accept as my destiny, my way of life. For me, it was something that would be everlasting and unapt to change. Though I had come to accept such terms, consequently I was enthralled with how my life had panned out. Surely it could be said that I had chosen to relinquish everything in light of something so lackluster. However, I find up to that point, I had come to terms with myself and accepted what had come to pass as my own reprehensible consequence. To this very day, I do not regret the choices I have made.
Except one.
Never had I expected the reemergence of that fateful night to return to me as a phantom of my own past, foreshadowing the perpetual and growing voracious loathing that emitted from the one thing I had thought no longer existed. But there he was, surely alive as any other, seething hatred burning within those eyes, the very same incandescent scarlet as those of the people whom we spiders had taken from the world so long ago.
It was at Yorknew, the rapture of the waste we laid in dedication of whom we had lost, all the calamity, destruction and the beatitude we felt as we revealed in the mastery of our plan, we watched as those succumbed around us were felled by our own hands. It was marvelous, unbelievable. It was a revelation at its finest, one where I thought we had achieved our greatest mastery and yet, it would be within that very idealism I would end up facing one of my greatest demons.
It would also be where I would come face to face with those magnificent eyes.
We had just convened, reveling in the finality of what we worked so hard for and the prestige that we deserved after all we had endured when the realization hit, laying a hard blow to the fact that I for a split second, found myself falling victim to my own impudence.
Moments, seconds. The world seemed to still, breathless and wild, plummeting into the vacuity of pure crepuscule, leaving me in pure wonderment as time abated and I found myself falling at the hands of the one who I knew despised me so, instantly at his mercy. Cold, calculating, the vision of a viper as it readied to ambush its prey coalesced into the very pertinent youth whom wasted no time facing down death to capture me. Even as I knew the momentarily lapse in my own defenses placed me into such an unsavory disposition, I couldn't help but notice the elegance of the very one whom had actually managed to best me because of it.
He was beautiful. Even though I had been captured, beaten and most certainly facing my imminent meeting with my maker, it was the only thing I could think of. When he faced me with that broken look, how was I supposed to resist? How could I and why would I? Those burning red depths had spoke of my own demise and I still couldn't help how subaqueous their effect was on me.
It was those very same alluring and gorgeous eyes I would soon myself becoming eternally captivated and bidden to, losing any sense of who I really was. The more I would stare into those heated depths, the more transfixed I became, finding that their beckon to me would be my undoing, my final calling.
Though for the longest I had believed that the barriers between us would never be broken – he still harbored so much animosity, ordained from vows made and wished to see my life ceased from existence. But, I persisted even when I knew he had began to stalk me, predatory motives lying behind falsities, even when he thought I did not know, something crept just beneath the surface, something more unrestrained. At first the sightings were brief; a glimpse here a flash there and never really in one place for too long. I had begun to believe I was imagining things and thought they were mere delusions, that it was wistful thinking, despite we had parted so long ago upon that desolate plateau. Never had it came to mind that he would come for me and that our paths would cross again. But he still had and even when he attempted to conceal his presence behind his Nen, I still knew. His energy, his rage, the unbridled passion that coursed through his lithe, yet perfectly toned body, just the apt closeness during those covert observations, each and every one only invoked a higher sense of awareness in me. The desire became stronger and cinching, driving me deeper and deeper into the crux of my own burning need.
At first all I could think of was him. The feel of him, the incandescence of that body against my own, torrid swell of lips in an intricate dance against one another; it began to drive me to the brink of insanity and making him my own became the only focal point in my mind.
For so long it felt as if he was content with continuing to shadow my every move, never effectively confronting me – until the day he finally revealed himself, sacrificing all rationale to stand before me, face to face. Those very eyes I had always mulled over flashed with that ever present virulence, but something else wavered just beneath the surface, like a flicker of desire within unconstrained depths and I could tell my pretty blond was in pure contest within himself. The resolve and conviction he always exuded, it wasn't as profound as it had once been. His fortification was crumbling and it was in that very moment of weakness I felt the time to strike.
It was like molten fire, liquid and ardent as my body instantly pushed deftly against his, holding him firmly affixed to the closet wall, finding those burning eyes locking with my own. For a breadth of a moment I saw the fleeting surge of disgust beneath alluring scarlet before I took the opportunity to take those velvety lips with my own. Even then, I expected to be refuted, for him to recoil in adversity and force me away, but my suspicions were cast aside when I felt him meld into it and his mouth worked with fervency against mine.
Never had I expected such a result to come to pass. All that abhorrence and dolor seemed to ebb away, his heart was racing, and I could feel its echoing beat against my chest. Just the way he moved, falling easily into my coaxing touch, slowly grinding against me as we began to find an impassioned rhythm, I knew. The once empowering Kurta, the very same whom I had been so captivated by, the very one who had managed to best me and seal away my Nen, was crumbling beneath my grasp. Seeing him in that state as he so easily withered, it made me feel blithe and triumphant. I had won. He was finally going to be mine. For so long I yearned to see that succulent countenance embroiled with rage and passion, and here he was in all his glory craving more of what I could offer.
I remember whispering his name and musing that he was like a butterfly caught within my web.
Or so I thought. For all of our clandestine meetings, all those times spent in each other's presence, I could feel the lingering effects and the sensation, despite the paramount of my own vehement impulses of something greater, something more sublime. There was an underlying pull of something unseen and its lull caused me to gravitate towards a gentler and tender approach. The insatiable force to completely control and encompass him began to slowly fade away. I felt more… Human one could say and it was soon replaced with a completely different emotion. Love? Affection? It was foreign. For me, these were responses out of the norm, something I was completely unused to. At first, I questioned my own integrity. Had I become so weak to the point that the blond was easily able to dampen and encumber me once again? Had I allowed my guard to become so pliable I was no longer able to retain my own sense of strength and dignity? These aberrant feelings were almost like a vice and suffocating, but beneath it all, there was something so much more befitting and rewarding. Despite all that, even with questioning my own mental state I continued exploring this new region, but never allowing him to ever gain too much control.
It was exhilarating, I will admit. It still is. Having him near, his physical prowess, immeasurable knowledge and beautiful, golden radiance only enraptured me that much more. Not only is he a valuable asset, he is perfect, his every word, his every move a profession of his undying devotion. Everything he had done dripped with utter avidity and easily gave himself to me. Not only is he the last of his kind, he is the vision of the heavens, itself. Such redefined grace enveloped into something more grand, more superlative. Just the thought of him becoming permanently attached to me, it was glorifying, and yet, it was also sensual. The boundless eagerness he seemed to display the more and more we met, it tugged harshly at my own desires, and I found myself craving in earnest to see this come to fruition. Even if truly what I was beginning to experience was indeed a form of love, just knowing that the blond was possibly feeling the same sort of emotion was enough of a push for me to continue to nurture the very idea.
With enough care, I was able to guide him to exactly where I wanted him to be. Slowly he molded and conformed, completely whimsical to the notion, falling like the advantageous angel he is and right into my hands, completely hung on my every word. It's like a drug and he's so intoxicating. Just the very notion of how much effect the blond had on me, how much he still has on me, it's easy to say there is nothing I would ever desire to change. One could say I have it all. For all that I took, for everything I had acquisitioned through every means possible – down to the most horrendous and undignified ways, he has been my greatest achievement. To have won him over the way I have, the patience I exuded as I slowly gave him every reason in the world to change; it's safe to say I was successful and pleased with the results. Never had ever imagined it would ever come to this, that I would have ever convinced him to come to me, and willfully.
It is wonderful, amazing. He is mine, and I am his. For me, I have realized I have begun to lose control, or have already lost it. It is an inconceivable thing, for I had always vowed that I would never allow him to take over me. But somehow, somehow I had lost all ability to keep that from ever happening. Just being around him, having him close, within my grasp, within my embrace, the way my body reacts when I touch him, when he touches me, I can't seem to retain my power as he causes me to slip and lose my cool, lose every part of myself. Just the dominant nature he exudes and how easily it caused me to go under, I always ended up surrendering completely to his cumbrance, engulfed and consumed by his presence, by his own omnipotence. Never had I considered this could ever happen, that I could be so easily won over in the way he has and it's a fact I have come to accept. Just like he had back then, the same rang true here – the blond had the authoritative pull over me I simply could not contest, an adept quality I found most impressive. But it was more than just that. Even with as strenuous the sensation was and how hard its allure became, I couldn't help but feel more contemplative, curious, and began believing there was something more than the superficial appearance the perception of it seemed to be. There was definitely something else, despite the outward façade, the blond felt so much more and his emotions ran deeper then he originally allowed them to be. For such a long time he remained in conflict, purely uncertain on where this would lead, but I had long since known. I had always known. Despite in the beginning I had once questioned it. But now, now there was no need. Slowly, however he began to realize the same. For all his hated, his malice and desperation at revenge had finally faded away, leaving both of us with the ability to come together without finding any brooding need to kill one another. For me, as I do feel the same was for him, it was finality, a breath of fresh air.
For once, I felt at ease and at peace. For so long all I saw was blood and death. Destruction and extirpation. To finally see life anew – or a semblance of it as I know I cannot completely change and neither can he, we have learned to adapt and changed enough so we could extrapolate on our growing love and begin to build on it. It was hard at times, and we had faced so many challenges. There were even points where I thought I had began to falter and questioned my own priorities, but despite everything we had suffered, together I found strength in myself that I could only obtain through him.
It was all because of my beautiful Kurapika.
If there is one thing I can equate to the entire way this situation has played out is the fact that even though I had generated the guise I had and walked down the path of instilled darkness, nothing can counterbalance the fact that none of what I have now, what we have now would have ever became reality had I not made the decisions I had. Even as selfish and callous as that may sound, even if I harbor illimitable regrets for driving him so far into despair, nothing can change the fact of what fate had in store and that the broken pieces of our lives is what ultimately brought us together.
So many nights I had mused over that very aspect and delved into questioning myself on exactly how such an amiable, yet wayward and capricious creature such as himself was able to contend with the evils of the world around him. I would lay awake as he was wrapped within my arms while he slept and listened to the gentle rhythm of his breathing in time to mine, the lull of its litany evoking a sense of calm. Though my own thoughts would still travel, constantly wandering back to how he had survived for so long all alone. Just how he was able to contend knowing exactly what had happened to him? What we had done to him.
I'll never understand how he held on to his dignity and self-control. We had it much worse in Meteor City, Feitan is a testament to that fact, but he had also faced dangers nearly similar to us. Especially with that beautiful face, how could he have saved himself from those lechers' I know exist in every corner of this world? The very thought I remember had caused me to tighten my arm around his waist and I used my free hand to push back a strand of his golden hair behind an ear. My lips brushed against the unblemished skin of his forehead and I could not help but wonder what it would have been like if he had spent all those years in my Meteor City instead of the other cities after his clan's demise.
Still, I cannot help the way I feel. Granted, it has taken a long time for me to come to accept him for who he is. That he is the Chain User… was the Chain User and to see there is so much more behind that once stoic front and cold heart that had fought so hard to see the end of the Geneiryoden. Not that I have to worry about any of that – he has long since become one of us. I would often remind myself when my hand would stroke over the area where the spider tattoo lay upon his skin. But even then, the pull he has upon me, how easily I have found myself captivated, and the one thing I know which will never change is that I will veraciously hold onto the fact that he means everything to me.
At first I didn't really consider just the insurmountable value having him in my life would be. That allowing him close to me, to break down the walls around my own heart would open up so much opportunity. I have found a greater propose, a higher connotation despite the subtle nuances from the norm because he has become a fixture in my life. Though his influences have impacted us as a whole, I cannot help but feel the exhilaration it has lead me to despite the fleeting principals he still seems to cling onto. Regardless that he still houses some reluctance when we are on missions, he has been gradually transitioning and adapting, both of us changing for the better, for each other. He has been the best thing to have ever happened to me in so long.
Even now as I reflect upon the current, just how far we have come, I can safely say that I am eternally grateful. I really never envisioned myself saying this or coming to the conclusion that the interlude I've experienced in life is all because of Kurapika. But for me, I shouldn't really balk as I truly have everything I could have ever wanted. Regardless of fact that the means were considered less then unsavory, the one thing I attribute to my own divine retribution is all because of that very same blond who really has ensnared my once darkened heart.
These thoughts will never leave me and I will always find myself faltering back to the very events that lead up to this point. Especially when I look at him, into those exquisite eyes, ones that are as refined and blue as the skies themselves, I go back in time and revel in just how I had managed to finally trap that once elegant butterfly, so wild and free, into finally seeking refuge within the very thing he had once so desperately repudiated to. But finally, with much care, guidance and nurturing, he abjured. Even now I cannot help but wonder if the prospect of finding something so much greater was his true reasoning for giving in? Or, was it really because of actual love?
I still feel it. During all those moments when we are alone and close, when we kiss and find ourselves conceding to our fervid needs as we give into the temptation of intimacy, even then I find that I cannot withstand the retention he has on me. It's so captivating, so enticing that I cannot break free and always finding myself craving for more. So much more. There is just so much about him that draws me in and I cannot find myself letting go. I've dug my claws in so deep, so steadfast that I've been holding on for all it is worth. Perhaps I will never truly comprehend what it is about him that has me so mesmerized and stricken that I've begun to relinquish everything to ensure we remain together forever.
We have faced many challenges – many events that strained the boundaries of our relationship. It wasn't only his past that proved to be difficult to surpass, or the fact that the rest of the Ryoden either disapproved of him joining us or the lack of trust they held but there were also the issues his friends posed. Especially the one who was aspiring to become a doctor. Many times I could see the obtrusive nature in the man's own dark eyes – the very way he would cast furtive gazes over the blond, over my blond and so many times I found myself growing increasingly jealous and aggressive. I knew Kurapika cared for the boys and that man meant quite a lot to him, but the indignant way he behaved around the Kurta; it was all I could do to keep myself from wanting to tear him apart.
So many times I had wondered if he ever realized that Kurapika was never going to be his and that the blond had long since given his heart to me.
He's very much enamored with me, just like I've been with him and that isn't ever going to change.
It's just one test of many and all of which we have overcome. There isn't anything that is going to stop me, stop us. I have sacrificed so much to see this reach culmination and I will be damned if I allow anyone to tear that apart.
I know I haven't always been the most retributive, nor have I always been accommodating or understanding, but he has always stood by me, even when I thought there were times the strain would force us apart. It is in that I will attest I am forever in debt. Though faith was something I never really believed in or held onto; I do now. It is because of that faith and in that belief which has survived the tests of time that has kept us together through it all.
I have fallen. I have gone past the point of no return and only he, only Kurapika can save me now.
Or maybe has he already?
Perhaps it is actually true love I am feeling because never had I found myself experiencing emotions this perpetuating. Ones that I can easily admit to without regret that has really changed my way of thinking. Or at least, in the way I perceive how I look at my relationship with Kurapika. At one time, I would have never considered it. I would have dismissed it adamantly as some ridiculous fantasy and only persisted in chaining the blond to me in every way possible to only garner my own selfish needs. To a fault I still do, but not without the aspect of caring and love in mind. The last thing I want to do is cause him to feel the need to run off and abandon me.
As it stands, I feel my situation; my life has come to a head. Come to a semblance of completion. It's been a thrill, advantageous, and downright incredible. Suffice it to say, I haven't felt this good in a long time.
I have fallen in love and with the most amazing person alive. To be perfectly honest, I am glad he never succumbed to the dastardly effects of what occurred that night. Even though I won't forget what happened and more than likely would do it all over again, I would not be where I am today if he had.
A voice breaks me out of my reverie and I realize exactly who it is before I even turn from my current position to face the figure I knew was standing behind me. A smile easily creeps over my lips, knowing damn well that I had obviously not taken into consideration that I would be followed. But apparently it appears such ended up being the case. Not that I am angry or anything, far from it. My eyes eagerly search out his, coming face to face with a pair of startling ceruleans staring back at me. His clothes are just sodden as mine are, though I had spent what must have been hours out in the open during my musing. I can tell from his expression he is abjectly curious as to why I am out at such an ungodly hour in the middle of a rainstorm. I can only grin at him in mock jest; releasing my testimony of thoughts to him now may only serve as needle and jabbing material for later. Instead, I close the gap between us and wrap my arms around him, turning him so his back is to me and pulled his smaller frame against my chest. "You was worried about me." I whispered teasingly into his ear. Of course I waste no time chortling at him even though moments before I abstained from giving him any reason to question why I am out so late.
Of course the phrasing only earns me a brief look of distain, "I didn't expect you to run off half cocked in the middle of the night without so much as a word." His gruff response came, but I knew all too well he wouldn't stay angry for long. "You're all wet."
"You're no less wet then I am." I could virtually see him rolling his eyes, probably exasperated by my response, but I just couldn't help myself. It was nice to have him within my arms, despite the downpour which was assaulting us.
"I hope you don't plan on staying out here all night." He quipped, though there was considerable less edge, clearly with a sarcastic undertone. He leaned his head back against me and I could hear a soft sigh escape past his lips.
"Don't worry. I definitely didn't plan to."
The warmth against my chest felt nice despite the chill. I hummed contently as I buried my nose in his golden halo of hair, drinking in the intoxicating scent. It makes him turn his head a little to look at my face but I am already letting out a disgruntled sound at having lost contact. Even if it was just a little.
"We should get going you know," he whispers, one of his fingers tracing the inside of my wrist lightly. The feeling was ticklish and I buried my nose back, this time at the junction between his shoulder and neck.
"A few more minutes," I whisper back as I let my lips trail his skin. He doesn't say a word but leans back against me again and this, I assume it as a yes.
Sometimes, I wonder what he thinks when he holds me in his frail yet strong arms. Does he feel softness or the feel of scars? Did he feel like staying with me like this in such a position forever, his hands acting as a cage from reality for me? Did he ever want to leave? Did he ever regret?
But then he says my name and my grip around his waist tightens for a second. We might not have forever but ruining these moments with my thoughts would be a waste. Even I know this because to be perfectly honest, I have come to cherish each and every one we spend like this, for who knows if we will have another?
I know it won't last, at least, times like these where I wish they never had to end. Still, as much as I would like to remain here as we are, we both have been subjected to the rain's onslaught and both of us are thoroughly drenched; even though I will concede he looks absolutely stunning coated in the thin sheen of mist the drizzle produced, his beautiful tresses clinging to his nearly immaculate visage. I cannot help but gaze at him and admire just how perfect he is. Though he may be caught up within a brief swell of euphoria, deep down I am readily aware that he will not wish to remain here too much longer.
"You're staring again…" I can only grin at his retort; how can anyone, even him expect me not to behold someone as luscious as he is? Again I just hum pleasantly, this time right beside his left ear, his earring with its ruby teardrop appearing to glow almost hauntingly within the opaque night, "Oh? Am I not allowed to, now?" I respond. This time, he turns within my grasp and I can see those endless depths boring right up into my own, his fist playfully punching my shoulder.
"It's just weird when you do it, you know."
What surprises me is his initiative. The same burning ambition that I remember so long ago flashed within his infinite pools and for a split second something rakish glinted just beneath the surface. Though it's gone as soon as it had appeared, leaving me in wonderment exactly what was going through his mind. But even those thoughts were abruptly cut off as I felt his smaller body lift up against mine, arms coming to hook deftly around my neck, the weight of him pulling me down so that we met at eye level. For a moment he just stood there, gazing almost longingly into my own eyes before my world exploded into pure warmth and serenity, his lips drawing me into a long and slow kiss. It's just so easy how I capitulate, allowing myself to be so easily guided, so easily controlled. Still, even now I am finding myself unable to resist. Not that I want to. I have come to accept the circumstances of our relationship and finally able to understand that he has just as much will over me as I have over him and I wouldn't change it for the world.
I breath in heavily, taking in the brisk scent of the rain and Kurapika's spice; such an enticing combination. But such is only evanescent and he pulled away, those deep set icy blues face me once more, "Let's go home." He intoned, though voice was feathery light this time and grabbed my hand, twining his fingers with my own, "I don't relish staying in this rain any longer and a dry set of clothes will be nice. Besides, I am missing the warmth of our bed."
He flashes me a mischievous grin and I cannot help but comply, "Yes it would be nice, indeed."
It's these kinds of moments I would never wish to ruin, for they will be everlasting. I am indeed, very lucky. Briefly, I let the tips of my free hand brush against his soft, aurulent locks and a knowing smile crosses my own lips, just enjoying the simplicity of such gentle tenderness before straightening and looking down at the angelic face which held so much emotion, his own lips curled down into a semblance of a pout, obviously eager to go. But who am I to halt progress? Even though I would probably be the one to suffer the repercussion should I be the reason either of us to delay any further, I must say I wasn't feeling to the contrary. Not that I blamed him, knowing how adamant he was of wanting to relieve himself from his saturated clothing. It had been far too long since I sat within the coiling, gnarled grasp of the dismal rain and its biting chill. Perhaps that warm bed would be delightful after all, as long as he is there beside me. It would be cold and lonely, otherwise.
He tugs at my hand almost impatiently, a procacious sigh exiting his throat, proclamation that he desired to not wait any longer.
Even then he is still beautiful. Oh so beautiful.
Just like an angel. One descendant of the heavens above, so pure, so innocent, one I had brought directly into corruption, and here he was, covenant with the devil, himself.
Kurapika, the most stunning person I have ever come to contact with, who managed to tame this wicked, loathsome beast into something pragmatic, something… Human. Not that I have completely changed, but he has arisen something within me and I know I am not exactly who I was all those years ago, like I was when we first met.
Old habits die hard, that much is truth. But even with these subtle changes, I have come to accept things happen as they may. I cannot change everything about myself – some things are just ingrained, but since he has come into my life, I have not rebuked every alteration to my life.
I will always be who I am, that much is a given, but seeing the way he has guided me, led me through this hell and given me a reason to actually to be, I have finally come to realize that not everything in life is as atrocious as it seems.
Perhaps he is the sole reason I can live again, and love again, for it is only him who holds my very heart.
His face is the very last thing I want to see before I die, knowing that he gave me everything and made it all so worthwhile.
I love you Kurapika. I always will. For you are the only one who has made this dark creature learn to feel again and set me free.
My hand tightens around his as I come to this epiphany, and conclude this is something I wish I had learned so long ago.
Yes, let's go home together to where we belong.
A/N:
I will attest writing from Chrollo's point of view was excessively difficult. I spent the better part of a month trying to get into his mindset to keep him as in character as possible while still portraying him as how he is within the AU my BF and I generated. But hopefully this gives more insight to both this fic and BBE as I know without much back history at the moment it's a bit difficult to understand exactly how these two manage to come to be and have a relationship together.
I also plan to be revising BBE as well as I feel it is in part, lacking, especially in comparison to this fic. So be sure to look for that. :3
Questions, comments, kudos, praise its all welcome! I appreciate anything you dear readers have to say. :D Thank you for viewing!