This is my first fic, be polite!!!
FYI: HE=Hermione, R=Ron, H=Harry, D=Dumbledore, as you read there will be
more FYI's.
I own no Harry Potter. Though Kaylyn and me wish we did.
this is their 6th year at Hogwarts
Sorry if there are any mistakes!
ON THE TRAIN FROM HOGWARTS
HE Hey, Ron, I'm going to Viktor's house this summer, so I can't come to yours. R But I thought we had it all planned out! HE Well, I'm sorry Ron I just can't. Learn to be flexible with your time. You can't always get what you want. R But he could be a madman plotting your demise as we speak! HE [snort] yeah, as if! R I'm not letting you go! H Just let her go. R No, Hermoine, please! HE Oh, fine, I'll just tell him that I can't come. R Good girl!
ON THE TRAIN TO HOGWARTS
R I can't wait to get there. HE Viktor was so upset. He thinks I'm cheating on him. H, very softly You Probably are. HE WHAT?! WITH WHO? R- NEVER! R why? HE Because your just a friend. R no, I mean why does he think your cheating on him? HE because I stayed at your house this summer! R oh HE yeah, oh. He's really mad. I told him I was staying at your house because of a family crisis. He knew I was lying. HAGRID everyone off, firs' years follow me!
AT HOGWARTS
HE ooh, look! Professor McGonagall made my schedule work without using the time turner! R oh, goody goody gumdrops H so, do you like switch every other day? HE yeah, but I still don't get how it would work. I hope Professor McGonagall does. I'll go ask her. [She runs off] R mental, that one! I wish she never existed! H Ron! You made her break a date just so she could come to your house! R I know, I know. I just did that 'cause I don't like 'Vicky' so much. He's soooo dumb. H he used to be your favorite Quidditch player! Wait a minute, you don't happen to.. R NO!!!! H you don't even know what I was going to say!!! I could've been asking you if you happened to want 47,000,000 galleons or something! R But you weren't! You were gonna ask me if I liked Hermione! H yep, that's about the size of it! R well, no is still my answer! H oh, really? R yes H if you say so R I do H if you didn't like her, you wouldn't be so touchy on the subject R yes I would! H you would, not am but would? R well, no I am touchy on the subject, even though I don't like her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! H if you say so. R urgala!!! H haha R shut the crap up! H make me R I will! (At that moment, hermione came back from talking to Professor McGonagall.) HE OK! So every other day I rotate 2 of my classes and-Ron, what are you doing? (He had hold of his robes and had an evil look in his eye. R oh, um, this? Harry had a bug on his robes and I grabbed it HE oh, um, that's interesting. R yeah, I know. HE so, watcha wanna do today? H let's eat first and then we can worry about that later. HE okay {FYI~ McG means McGonagall} [McG rings a little bell and calls for everyone's attention] MCG Attention! Attention! ATTENTION! [Nobody listens] EVERYONE SHUT YOU PIE HOLES! I SAID SHUT UP! [Everyone shuts up] MCG Now that you have all been sensible enough to act your age, I have something to tell you all. Viktor Krum, Bulgarian Quidditch player will be staying at Hogwarts this year.[Ron swore loudly, but no one heard it 'cause the room had erupted in cheers.] McG yes, yes, I know I know. He will chose where he stays. He will be coming in a few days. Now that he's graduated from school, he is free to do whatever he wants. He said he loved it here. I ask that you make him feel welcome, and not to crowd him too much. You may go back to your pointless conversations now. [They do] HE wow, this is great! Maybe now I can prove that I'm not cheating on him! R yeah HE what do you mean? R I mean 'yeah'. Do I have to spell it out or you? HE depends. Can you spell it? Or it is too complex for your inferior mind? R No, and by the way it's spelled Y-E-A-H. SO THERE! HE oh, whatever R go and find something to do. Go to the library or something. HE fine! But don't expect me to help you with your homework or anything! R you never do anyway! HE humph! [She stalks away.] R finally! Hey, Harry want to go and play Wizard's chess or something? H how 'bout not? I have to go to sleep. I have a Quidditch game tomorrow. R oh, fine, I'll just go play with Dean or Seamus or Fred or George or someone that's not you or Hermione H you do that R I will cuz you are mean! I don't need you! H oh, that's good. R TEAR! WHAAAAAAAA! [He was obviously crying] H Ron! What is you major malfunction? R I don't have one! H yes huh! R nu-huh! [They are going into the common room now and everything from Tear was in the hallway] H yes-huh! You got issues, what are they? R I'm not telling you cuz you'll just tell everybody!
H I will not! R yes, you will 'Ickledpay Eadsshay' (that was the password. Notice it is pig Latin for pickled heads. So now they are in the common room.) H I promise I won't! You can strangle me if I do! R sounds like fun. Promise you won't tell her!? H Her? Sounds interesting Ron, very softly I'm in love with Hermione. H WHAT?! DID YOU SAY YOU ARE IN LOOOOVE WITH HER? R yes H OK I won't tell anyone R you'd better not. If you do, I am of the authority to strangle you! H thanks for the reminder. R oh, looky, its Hermione! Did you miss your Vicky? [Harry suddenly gives a loud false cough that sounds oddly like love] R oh, I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings? HE what is your major malfunction? H you'd better go to the dormitory before you get yourself into trouble R fine, I'll go play chess with Seamus, come on Seamus. {FYI~ S is Seamus} S, out of nowhere OK H your right Hermione, he does have a major malfunction, but I can't tell you what it is. HE that's too bad, ya know, Viktor's coming tomorrow. H good for him. I'm going to my dormitory HE I'm going to the library. H whatever [goes to his dorm] hi guys R, S his S Ron's winning H awe that's too bad, I am going to bed.
HARRY'S DREAM
HE Ron, I've loved you since, like, forever. But I love Harry more. He's always so nice to me. Your, well, not. [Ron starts crying hysterically] HE oh shut up and take it like a man! R I hate both of you. You're a bunch of ?!@$#%&!s H why? It's not like I love her or anything like you! R I'm now going to strangle you. Hermione, leave HE goodbye, my love! R oh, shut up! Now for you, Harry. Any last words? Here are mine--- @#$%&!?! @$$^ &%$#! H bad Ron! R STRANGLE! STRANGLE! [Harry wakes up]
RON'S DREAM
R yo, Hermione, wanna go out with me? HE sure, you big hunk o' hotness! R oh, stop your making me blush H watcha doin? R asking Hermione if she wants to go out with me. And ya know what she said? She said yes! Haha! She'll never go out with you! H like I care. 'cuz I'm going out with Pansy Parkinson, so HA!!! [Ron screams like a girl and then wakes up]
HERMIONE'S DREAM
HE it's time I let all my emotions run free R what's that supposed to mean? HE I'm going to tell you how much I like you on a scale from 1 to 10. [She writes something down real fast on a piece of paper]
1~look at and pat on head 2~shake hands 3~hug 30 sec 4~hug 1 minute 5~kiss cheek 6~kiss 1 sec. On lips 7~kiss 15 sec on lips 8~kiss 30 sec on lips 9~kiss 45 sec on lip 10~kiss I min
{FIY~ V= Viktor} V me first! HE OK [she goes over and kisses him on the lips for 15 sec.] HE now Ron [she goes over and shakes his hand] R NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! [Cries hysterically] HE now Harry [she goes over and kisses him for 1 minute H oh, that's too bad, I'm going out with Cho! Cho Chang! HE NOOOOOOOO!!! [She wakes up]
NEXT MORNING
H I had the weirdest dream last night He&R me too R I'd rather not tell anyone HE me either, especially me! {FYI`~ W means Wood} time for Quidditch, Harry! (Kaylyn: Wood graduated 2 years ago, you stupid idiot!) (Jen: I'm not a stupid idiot!)W I came to tell you your Quidditch captain Harry, 'bye! H oh, how nice! Rcan I be keeper? H sure! R wooohooo! Yeay! (?) HE good for you V, out of nowhere Hermy-own-ninny! HE Viktor! R Vicky! [Hermione stomps on Ron's foot] R OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?!?!?! HE FOR CALLING HIM VICKY! R *&#%! H Ron! Come on, we don't want to get in her messed up lovelife! [Walking out of the great hall] R she really likes you! H no she doesn't R yes she does H whatever R let's go-- H urgala! I'm so sick of that! R you don't even know what I was going to say1 [they exit the great hall leaving Hermione and Viktor alone] V are you cheating on me with Ron? HE urgala! NO! He's just a friend V what about Harry? HE EW, no, he's a friend too! V why don't I believe that? HE because your too thick to realize I'm telling the truth? V you expect me to believe that? HE yes! If you loved me you would believe what I say! V but I do love you, hermy-own- ninny! [He kisses her for like 15 minutes, and during their long, and well, really long kiss, Neville Longbottom walks down the hall and starts to cry, Hermione looks up, Viktor, realizing what she was looking at says:] God you're hot! HE you too [they kiss some more. Neville ran off sobbing his head off. A few minutes later Dumbledore came down the hallway] {FYI~ D means Dumbledore} D hello young love birds. I don't know, Hermione, aren't you a bit young to be kissing, especially for such long periods of time? HE FYI, I'm 15! D no freaking duh! V since when does Dumbledore say no freaking duh? D Since now. Hermione I understand that you have a very twisted love life. Please do not show your emotions to people in front of other people. You gave Neville quite a shock! HE I understand D Viktor, there is an extra bed in my office that you can sleep in. Hermione, I need to speak to you, then you may leave to go to your dorm. [They do to their specified places] D Hermione, Come! [They go into a private room] D I understand you have a very twisted love life. You must tell everyone exactly how you feel about them. I understand if you don't want to, but you will have a twisted love life forever. HE I'm not going to. Everyone will feel extremely bad. D fine, off you trot [Hermione is running as fast as she can (for no reason) and she runs into Ron] R @$^&*%! What was that for? HE I don't like you R oh, okay HE no, seriously. I don't like you. Well I do like you, but not like that. Sorry I broke your heart. [She runs and Ron goes TEAR :=O] [She then runs into Harry] HE I like you, harry. I like you a lot. [She kisses him for like 20 minutes!] D out of nowhere Hermione! What did I just tell you? Did I just tell you to go and kiss Harry? No I said GO TO BED! HE this is just a dream, so go and kiss Professor McGonagall or something D hubba, hubba! [He runs off, and they kiss again] V out of nowhere hermy-own-ninny! I shall never talk to you again! HE this is just a dream Viktor! V OK then, goodbye! [He goes away] HE he is such an idiot [they kiss again] HE um, I like you too? HE oh, harry, [they kiss yet again, then go to bed] don't tell Ron or Viktor, or you'll be in big trouble. [They really go to bed now]
THE NEXT MORNING
H hi, Hermione. He, sounding all lovey-dovey hi harry. R what happened last night? Did you kiss 4 times? HE um, no? R oh, in that case let's have breakfast! [They do]
AT BREAKFAST
R hey, Hermione, pass the yeast muffins! HE what the heck are yeast muffins, you blockhead?! R muffins made of yeast. They're over there, they have white powder HE whatever (for pizza's sake write something, Kaylyn!) [She passes the yeast muffins] H so, what is up? R what did you do? :=O H um, nothing? R question mark means you lie!!! HE no- huh! R yes-huh, you probably kissed or something! H no-huh! (?) R YOU HAVE A QUESTION MARK!!! :=O let me ask my inter-spirit, wait a minute, YES, HE LIES!!! EW. HE why EW? Have you got a problem with your inter- spirit? Did you see an unpleasant sight, such as an evil wisp of hair? R no, I saw Viktor eating you HE oh, well that's not good. R Yes, it is MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! H that's not very nice! R yes-huh H nu- huh R yes-huh H nu-huh R yes-huh H nu-huh R yes-huh R nu-huh H yes-huh R nu-huh H yes-huh HE SHUT THE HECK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! R OK, my love HE what?! R I mean, OK Hermione HE you'd better R I do! HE fine R say ok HE no R yes HE no R yes HE no R yes! HE FINE! OK HAPPY?????? R yes H that word is dangerous. HE whatever R I'm bored there's nothing to do, H well, you could always play chess with Seamus or me R how bout you? H ok [so they do. Hermione set off to find Viktor] HE oh, hi Viktor! Did you miss me? V more than ever. [He leans in to kiss her, but she turns away] V what's wrong, hermy-own-ninny? HE I don't think I should be kissing people who are 3 ½ years older than me, especially for long periods of time. V ugh. You sound like Dumbledore. If you think our relationship should end, then so be it. HE oh, but I don't Viktor! I still like you! V like? Why only like? Why don't you looove me? I looove you. HE I do like you, but not looove you, your too old. I'll love you in a couple of years. V but I will still be 3 ½ years older than me. HE oh, yeah. Good point. V if you promise not to tell anybody, I'll show you sumthin. HE ok! Where is it? V it's a secret; I'll take you there. HE ok [he takes her outside the entrance hall and onto the grounds] HE where are you taking me? V sumwhere HE where would that be? V YOU'LL SEE! ~(=O) HE ok ok [he takes her into the forbidden forest] HE I don't think this is a recommended procedure V so? Who gives a crap?! [He led her deeper into the forest. Finally, they were there] HE this is soooo not interesting. V yes-huh kiss me HE no V kiss me HE no V kiss me or I'll stab you! ~(: =( ) HE wouldn't it be more logical to just torture me with that spell? V yeah, that too. Now, are you gunna kiss me or am I gunna stab you? (Kay-I'm writing this while on a plane to Arizona. Ahh, we're lifting off. Noooo! The atmosphere!) (Hey, cool, Goodbye friends of Hagrid. We are completely vertical. Coolio, Cool Awesomeness Dude, we are above the clouds! Well, most of them anyway.) HE well, in my opinion, you should torture me with the curse, but-if you insist--V I do! So anyway, kiss me!!! HE no, your gunna have to stab me V okay, then I'd rather feed you to Aragog. HE Aragag? V NO! ARAGOG! YOU MINITURE, ANNOYING, IRRITATING, BEAST OF BURDEN! HE oh, dine airhead-I'ma-gaggin', gez. V, quite angry NO! STRANGLE!! STRANGLE!!! HE um, oh V now to speak in my new Aragog-ish voice. CoOoOoMmMe tOoOo mEeEeEeE ArRAagGoGgG!!! [He does]
BACK AT THE SCHOOL
R I wonder where Hermione is. H I dunno, let's go see [he pulls out his marauder's map] -she's in the forbidden forest (Kay- the marauder's map doesn't show the forbidden forest, you square!) (Jen-who gives a crap?!) H come on R fine, but we must use your broom and fly overhead, so we don't have to go anywhere unnecessary H ok. Come on [they do]
IN THE FOREST
HE how do you know who Aragog is? Ron and Harry told me about him being a giant spider. V I just know things. And anyway, it's none of your business! HE why did you bring me here anyway? V I think you are cheating on me with someone. HE I'm not cheating on you. I would never [she starts getting all lovey-dovey] V DON'T GET ALL LOVEY-DOVEY WITH ME! HE fine, you might as well kill me while you have the chance, or I just might like you again. R they're down there. V oh no, it's them HURRY UP, ARAGOG! {FYI~ A=Aragog} A I'm already here. How fond of you to bring me here just so I could eat. V I hope the recommended prize is included? A yes
CAUTION! A PROFESSIONAL SPIDER GUY PERFORMED THIS STUNT, SO DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME!
A stand back [out of nowhere, a giant flame protrudes from the spider's mouth, causing Viktor's hair to be a flame.] V oh, YES! Finally, I've been waiting to say this,
MY HAIR IS A FLAME!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAAHA!
V I'll leave you two to do your business. Goodbye friends of Hagrid! [Then he disappears into an endless void] HE ew ew ewewew! You are soooo disgusting! A thank you R get on the broom, Hermione, we're leaving. [She does] HE goodbye, spider that used to belong to Hagrid! A hey, no fair, I wanted to eat you! HE mwahahahahaahahahahahaaha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A what happened to flamey-head? HE he ate some bacteria- y cheese and had heartburn, so he went home, then fell into an endless void. A ok, I must go eat some yeast. HE I don't even want to know
AFTER ARRIVING AT SCHOOL
HE oh, harry, you saved me! [She kisses him on the cheek] R I helped HE oh well R how nice of you HE I know R GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! HE well, Harry's a whole lot cuter than you are. R oh, really? HE yep H haha I'm cuter! R URGALANESS! Feel my wrath! ~(: =O) (wrath) H I don't wanna R too bad [then he started hitting Harry over the head yelling WRATH! WRATH!] They were better off. THE END
Oh, yeah, Harry threw Ron into an endless void for all of eternity.
The Real End
Author's notes: Jennifer Cross and Kaylyn Cypher (Gamertsfelder) are the author's in This story, which was failed to mention in the beginning. This is taken place at their sixth year at Hogwarts ~ ~ Are chikas. They show who is talking ~ [ ] ~ are Chika-Chikas. They show what is happening in the story. ~ ( )~ are used when author's are having conversation Ron always has a mad obsession to play chess Hermione has a mad obsession to always go to the library. She also has a
Mad obsession to kiss someone every five seconds. We are obsessed with endless voids, cheese, yeast, mold, feel my wrath, What is your major malfunction?, and yes, my hair is a flame. I forgot slit-like nostrils, Aragog, inter-spirits, Poltergiested spirits, house Elves, Disembodied Heads, a whole bunch of other crap.
I own no Harry Potter. Though Kaylyn and me wish we did.
this is their 6th year at Hogwarts
Sorry if there are any mistakes!
ON THE TRAIN FROM HOGWARTS
HE Hey, Ron, I'm going to Viktor's house this summer, so I can't come to yours. R But I thought we had it all planned out! HE Well, I'm sorry Ron I just can't. Learn to be flexible with your time. You can't always get what you want. R But he could be a madman plotting your demise as we speak! HE [snort] yeah, as if! R I'm not letting you go! H Just let her go. R No, Hermoine, please! HE Oh, fine, I'll just tell him that I can't come. R Good girl!
ON THE TRAIN TO HOGWARTS
R I can't wait to get there. HE Viktor was so upset. He thinks I'm cheating on him. H, very softly You Probably are. HE WHAT?! WITH WHO? R- NEVER! R why? HE Because your just a friend. R no, I mean why does he think your cheating on him? HE because I stayed at your house this summer! R oh HE yeah, oh. He's really mad. I told him I was staying at your house because of a family crisis. He knew I was lying. HAGRID everyone off, firs' years follow me!
AT HOGWARTS
HE ooh, look! Professor McGonagall made my schedule work without using the time turner! R oh, goody goody gumdrops H so, do you like switch every other day? HE yeah, but I still don't get how it would work. I hope Professor McGonagall does. I'll go ask her. [She runs off] R mental, that one! I wish she never existed! H Ron! You made her break a date just so she could come to your house! R I know, I know. I just did that 'cause I don't like 'Vicky' so much. He's soooo dumb. H he used to be your favorite Quidditch player! Wait a minute, you don't happen to.. R NO!!!! H you don't even know what I was going to say!!! I could've been asking you if you happened to want 47,000,000 galleons or something! R But you weren't! You were gonna ask me if I liked Hermione! H yep, that's about the size of it! R well, no is still my answer! H oh, really? R yes H if you say so R I do H if you didn't like her, you wouldn't be so touchy on the subject R yes I would! H you would, not am but would? R well, no I am touchy on the subject, even though I don't like her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! H if you say so. R urgala!!! H haha R shut the crap up! H make me R I will! (At that moment, hermione came back from talking to Professor McGonagall.) HE OK! So every other day I rotate 2 of my classes and-Ron, what are you doing? (He had hold of his robes and had an evil look in his eye. R oh, um, this? Harry had a bug on his robes and I grabbed it HE oh, um, that's interesting. R yeah, I know. HE so, watcha wanna do today? H let's eat first and then we can worry about that later. HE okay {FYI~ McG means McGonagall} [McG rings a little bell and calls for everyone's attention] MCG Attention! Attention! ATTENTION! [Nobody listens] EVERYONE SHUT YOU PIE HOLES! I SAID SHUT UP! [Everyone shuts up] MCG Now that you have all been sensible enough to act your age, I have something to tell you all. Viktor Krum, Bulgarian Quidditch player will be staying at Hogwarts this year.[Ron swore loudly, but no one heard it 'cause the room had erupted in cheers.] McG yes, yes, I know I know. He will chose where he stays. He will be coming in a few days. Now that he's graduated from school, he is free to do whatever he wants. He said he loved it here. I ask that you make him feel welcome, and not to crowd him too much. You may go back to your pointless conversations now. [They do] HE wow, this is great! Maybe now I can prove that I'm not cheating on him! R yeah HE what do you mean? R I mean 'yeah'. Do I have to spell it out or you? HE depends. Can you spell it? Or it is too complex for your inferior mind? R No, and by the way it's spelled Y-E-A-H. SO THERE! HE oh, whatever R go and find something to do. Go to the library or something. HE fine! But don't expect me to help you with your homework or anything! R you never do anyway! HE humph! [She stalks away.] R finally! Hey, Harry want to go and play Wizard's chess or something? H how 'bout not? I have to go to sleep. I have a Quidditch game tomorrow. R oh, fine, I'll just go play with Dean or Seamus or Fred or George or someone that's not you or Hermione H you do that R I will cuz you are mean! I don't need you! H oh, that's good. R TEAR! WHAAAAAAAA! [He was obviously crying] H Ron! What is you major malfunction? R I don't have one! H yes huh! R nu-huh! [They are going into the common room now and everything from Tear was in the hallway] H yes-huh! You got issues, what are they? R I'm not telling you cuz you'll just tell everybody!
H I will not! R yes, you will 'Ickledpay Eadsshay' (that was the password. Notice it is pig Latin for pickled heads. So now they are in the common room.) H I promise I won't! You can strangle me if I do! R sounds like fun. Promise you won't tell her!? H Her? Sounds interesting Ron, very softly I'm in love with Hermione. H WHAT?! DID YOU SAY YOU ARE IN LOOOOVE WITH HER? R yes H OK I won't tell anyone R you'd better not. If you do, I am of the authority to strangle you! H thanks for the reminder. R oh, looky, its Hermione! Did you miss your Vicky? [Harry suddenly gives a loud false cough that sounds oddly like love] R oh, I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings? HE what is your major malfunction? H you'd better go to the dormitory before you get yourself into trouble R fine, I'll go play chess with Seamus, come on Seamus. {FYI~ S is Seamus} S, out of nowhere OK H your right Hermione, he does have a major malfunction, but I can't tell you what it is. HE that's too bad, ya know, Viktor's coming tomorrow. H good for him. I'm going to my dormitory HE I'm going to the library. H whatever [goes to his dorm] hi guys R, S his S Ron's winning H awe that's too bad, I am going to bed.
HARRY'S DREAM
HE Ron, I've loved you since, like, forever. But I love Harry more. He's always so nice to me. Your, well, not. [Ron starts crying hysterically] HE oh shut up and take it like a man! R I hate both of you. You're a bunch of ?!@$#%&!s H why? It's not like I love her or anything like you! R I'm now going to strangle you. Hermione, leave HE goodbye, my love! R oh, shut up! Now for you, Harry. Any last words? Here are mine--- @#$%&!?! @$$^ &%$#! H bad Ron! R STRANGLE! STRANGLE! [Harry wakes up]
RON'S DREAM
R yo, Hermione, wanna go out with me? HE sure, you big hunk o' hotness! R oh, stop your making me blush H watcha doin? R asking Hermione if she wants to go out with me. And ya know what she said? She said yes! Haha! She'll never go out with you! H like I care. 'cuz I'm going out with Pansy Parkinson, so HA!!! [Ron screams like a girl and then wakes up]
HERMIONE'S DREAM
HE it's time I let all my emotions run free R what's that supposed to mean? HE I'm going to tell you how much I like you on a scale from 1 to 10. [She writes something down real fast on a piece of paper]
1~look at and pat on head 2~shake hands 3~hug 30 sec 4~hug 1 minute 5~kiss cheek 6~kiss 1 sec. On lips 7~kiss 15 sec on lips 8~kiss 30 sec on lips 9~kiss 45 sec on lip 10~kiss I min
{FIY~ V= Viktor} V me first! HE OK [she goes over and kisses him on the lips for 15 sec.] HE now Ron [she goes over and shakes his hand] R NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! [Cries hysterically] HE now Harry [she goes over and kisses him for 1 minute H oh, that's too bad, I'm going out with Cho! Cho Chang! HE NOOOOOOOO!!! [She wakes up]
NEXT MORNING
H I had the weirdest dream last night He&R me too R I'd rather not tell anyone HE me either, especially me! {FYI`~ W means Wood} time for Quidditch, Harry! (Kaylyn: Wood graduated 2 years ago, you stupid idiot!) (Jen: I'm not a stupid idiot!)W I came to tell you your Quidditch captain Harry, 'bye! H oh, how nice! Rcan I be keeper? H sure! R wooohooo! Yeay! (?) HE good for you V, out of nowhere Hermy-own-ninny! HE Viktor! R Vicky! [Hermione stomps on Ron's foot] R OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?!?!?! HE FOR CALLING HIM VICKY! R *&#%! H Ron! Come on, we don't want to get in her messed up lovelife! [Walking out of the great hall] R she really likes you! H no she doesn't R yes she does H whatever R let's go-- H urgala! I'm so sick of that! R you don't even know what I was going to say1 [they exit the great hall leaving Hermione and Viktor alone] V are you cheating on me with Ron? HE urgala! NO! He's just a friend V what about Harry? HE EW, no, he's a friend too! V why don't I believe that? HE because your too thick to realize I'm telling the truth? V you expect me to believe that? HE yes! If you loved me you would believe what I say! V but I do love you, hermy-own- ninny! [He kisses her for like 15 minutes, and during their long, and well, really long kiss, Neville Longbottom walks down the hall and starts to cry, Hermione looks up, Viktor, realizing what she was looking at says:] God you're hot! HE you too [they kiss some more. Neville ran off sobbing his head off. A few minutes later Dumbledore came down the hallway] {FYI~ D means Dumbledore} D hello young love birds. I don't know, Hermione, aren't you a bit young to be kissing, especially for such long periods of time? HE FYI, I'm 15! D no freaking duh! V since when does Dumbledore say no freaking duh? D Since now. Hermione I understand that you have a very twisted love life. Please do not show your emotions to people in front of other people. You gave Neville quite a shock! HE I understand D Viktor, there is an extra bed in my office that you can sleep in. Hermione, I need to speak to you, then you may leave to go to your dorm. [They do to their specified places] D Hermione, Come! [They go into a private room] D I understand you have a very twisted love life. You must tell everyone exactly how you feel about them. I understand if you don't want to, but you will have a twisted love life forever. HE I'm not going to. Everyone will feel extremely bad. D fine, off you trot [Hermione is running as fast as she can (for no reason) and she runs into Ron] R @$^&*%! What was that for? HE I don't like you R oh, okay HE no, seriously. I don't like you. Well I do like you, but not like that. Sorry I broke your heart. [She runs and Ron goes TEAR :=O] [She then runs into Harry] HE I like you, harry. I like you a lot. [She kisses him for like 20 minutes!] D out of nowhere Hermione! What did I just tell you? Did I just tell you to go and kiss Harry? No I said GO TO BED! HE this is just a dream, so go and kiss Professor McGonagall or something D hubba, hubba! [He runs off, and they kiss again] V out of nowhere hermy-own-ninny! I shall never talk to you again! HE this is just a dream Viktor! V OK then, goodbye! [He goes away] HE he is such an idiot [they kiss again] HE um, I like you too? HE oh, harry, [they kiss yet again, then go to bed] don't tell Ron or Viktor, or you'll be in big trouble. [They really go to bed now]
THE NEXT MORNING
H hi, Hermione. He, sounding all lovey-dovey hi harry. R what happened last night? Did you kiss 4 times? HE um, no? R oh, in that case let's have breakfast! [They do]
AT BREAKFAST
R hey, Hermione, pass the yeast muffins! HE what the heck are yeast muffins, you blockhead?! R muffins made of yeast. They're over there, they have white powder HE whatever (for pizza's sake write something, Kaylyn!) [She passes the yeast muffins] H so, what is up? R what did you do? :=O H um, nothing? R question mark means you lie!!! HE no- huh! R yes-huh, you probably kissed or something! H no-huh! (?) R YOU HAVE A QUESTION MARK!!! :=O let me ask my inter-spirit, wait a minute, YES, HE LIES!!! EW. HE why EW? Have you got a problem with your inter- spirit? Did you see an unpleasant sight, such as an evil wisp of hair? R no, I saw Viktor eating you HE oh, well that's not good. R Yes, it is MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! H that's not very nice! R yes-huh H nu- huh R yes-huh H nu-huh R yes-huh H nu-huh R yes-huh R nu-huh H yes-huh R nu-huh H yes-huh HE SHUT THE HECK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! R OK, my love HE what?! R I mean, OK Hermione HE you'd better R I do! HE fine R say ok HE no R yes HE no R yes HE no R yes! HE FINE! OK HAPPY?????? R yes H that word is dangerous. HE whatever R I'm bored there's nothing to do, H well, you could always play chess with Seamus or me R how bout you? H ok [so they do. Hermione set off to find Viktor] HE oh, hi Viktor! Did you miss me? V more than ever. [He leans in to kiss her, but she turns away] V what's wrong, hermy-own-ninny? HE I don't think I should be kissing people who are 3 ½ years older than me, especially for long periods of time. V ugh. You sound like Dumbledore. If you think our relationship should end, then so be it. HE oh, but I don't Viktor! I still like you! V like? Why only like? Why don't you looove me? I looove you. HE I do like you, but not looove you, your too old. I'll love you in a couple of years. V but I will still be 3 ½ years older than me. HE oh, yeah. Good point. V if you promise not to tell anybody, I'll show you sumthin. HE ok! Where is it? V it's a secret; I'll take you there. HE ok [he takes her outside the entrance hall and onto the grounds] HE where are you taking me? V sumwhere HE where would that be? V YOU'LL SEE! ~(=O) HE ok ok [he takes her into the forbidden forest] HE I don't think this is a recommended procedure V so? Who gives a crap?! [He led her deeper into the forest. Finally, they were there] HE this is soooo not interesting. V yes-huh kiss me HE no V kiss me HE no V kiss me or I'll stab you! ~(: =( ) HE wouldn't it be more logical to just torture me with that spell? V yeah, that too. Now, are you gunna kiss me or am I gunna stab you? (Kay-I'm writing this while on a plane to Arizona. Ahh, we're lifting off. Noooo! The atmosphere!) (Hey, cool, Goodbye friends of Hagrid. We are completely vertical. Coolio, Cool Awesomeness Dude, we are above the clouds! Well, most of them anyway.) HE well, in my opinion, you should torture me with the curse, but-if you insist--V I do! So anyway, kiss me!!! HE no, your gunna have to stab me V okay, then I'd rather feed you to Aragog. HE Aragag? V NO! ARAGOG! YOU MINITURE, ANNOYING, IRRITATING, BEAST OF BURDEN! HE oh, dine airhead-I'ma-gaggin', gez. V, quite angry NO! STRANGLE!! STRANGLE!!! HE um, oh V now to speak in my new Aragog-ish voice. CoOoOoMmMe tOoOo mEeEeEeE ArRAagGoGgG!!! [He does]
BACK AT THE SCHOOL
R I wonder where Hermione is. H I dunno, let's go see [he pulls out his marauder's map] -she's in the forbidden forest (Kay- the marauder's map doesn't show the forbidden forest, you square!) (Jen-who gives a crap?!) H come on R fine, but we must use your broom and fly overhead, so we don't have to go anywhere unnecessary H ok. Come on [they do]
IN THE FOREST
HE how do you know who Aragog is? Ron and Harry told me about him being a giant spider. V I just know things. And anyway, it's none of your business! HE why did you bring me here anyway? V I think you are cheating on me with someone. HE I'm not cheating on you. I would never [she starts getting all lovey-dovey] V DON'T GET ALL LOVEY-DOVEY WITH ME! HE fine, you might as well kill me while you have the chance, or I just might like you again. R they're down there. V oh no, it's them HURRY UP, ARAGOG! {FYI~ A=Aragog} A I'm already here. How fond of you to bring me here just so I could eat. V I hope the recommended prize is included? A yes
CAUTION! A PROFESSIONAL SPIDER GUY PERFORMED THIS STUNT, SO DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME!
A stand back [out of nowhere, a giant flame protrudes from the spider's mouth, causing Viktor's hair to be a flame.] V oh, YES! Finally, I've been waiting to say this,
MY HAIR IS A FLAME!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAAHA!
V I'll leave you two to do your business. Goodbye friends of Hagrid! [Then he disappears into an endless void] HE ew ew ewewew! You are soooo disgusting! A thank you R get on the broom, Hermione, we're leaving. [She does] HE goodbye, spider that used to belong to Hagrid! A hey, no fair, I wanted to eat you! HE mwahahahahaahahahahahaaha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A what happened to flamey-head? HE he ate some bacteria- y cheese and had heartburn, so he went home, then fell into an endless void. A ok, I must go eat some yeast. HE I don't even want to know
AFTER ARRIVING AT SCHOOL
HE oh, harry, you saved me! [She kisses him on the cheek] R I helped HE oh well R how nice of you HE I know R GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! HE well, Harry's a whole lot cuter than you are. R oh, really? HE yep H haha I'm cuter! R URGALANESS! Feel my wrath! ~(: =O) (wrath) H I don't wanna R too bad [then he started hitting Harry over the head yelling WRATH! WRATH!] They were better off. THE END
Oh, yeah, Harry threw Ron into an endless void for all of eternity.
The Real End
Author's notes: Jennifer Cross and Kaylyn Cypher (Gamertsfelder) are the author's in This story, which was failed to mention in the beginning. This is taken place at their sixth year at Hogwarts ~ ~ Are chikas. They show who is talking ~ [ ] ~ are Chika-Chikas. They show what is happening in the story. ~ ( )~ are used when author's are having conversation Ron always has a mad obsession to play chess Hermione has a mad obsession to always go to the library. She also has a
Mad obsession to kiss someone every five seconds. We are obsessed with endless voids, cheese, yeast, mold, feel my wrath, What is your major malfunction?, and yes, my hair is a flame. I forgot slit-like nostrils, Aragog, inter-spirits, Poltergiested spirits, house Elves, Disembodied Heads, a whole bunch of other crap.