The Beautiful People in THE CURSE OF CASTLE TARANTULA
A TNA Fan Fiction by KiyoneSignatta
(Disclaimer: I don't any of these characters. TNA does. So There.)
Chapter One: Beautiful Chaos
"I kissed a girl and I liked it – Taste of her cherry chap stick…" A vibrant Velvet Sky sang throughout the kitchen of the Mi Pi Sexy Sorority House, as she mixed the batter of a birthday cake she was making for her friend and teammate, Madison Rayne. Smile from ear to ear, she was anxious for the huge party that she and her BFF Angelina Love were about to throw for their partner. It was going to be sick. She had invited every Knockout on the TNA roster…except Tara and Daffney for obvious reasons, and there needed to be enough cake for everyone, so Velvet continued to mix until there was no more lumps left. "Let's see now. 'After mixing the batter, carefully pour into appropriately sized cake pan.' Well, I know Kong will have seven pieces, and Angelina also eats like a NFL lineman at a buffet table. So this thing has gotta be massive…"
"WHAT WAS THAT, VELVET?" Velvet had no idea that Angelina had come back from shopping for party supplies. She heard the comment and threw Velvet in a full nelson. "An NFL lineman at a buffet table, huh? Are you calling me fat? Is that what I'm hearing Velvet Sky?"
"NO! NO I'M NOT! BUT YOU DO EAT LIKE A DAMN TANK, ANGELINA! NOW LET ME GO!" Velvet screamed as Angelina tried to lock the fingers.
Angelina released the hold and Velvet fell to the ground. "Be lucky its Madison's Birthday." She walked over towards the cookbook that Velvet had open and picked up the piece of paper next to and read it. "This is the guest list?"
"Uh, yeah." Velvet said, picking herself off the kitchen floor.
"You invited every knockout in TNA, Velvet?" Angelina asked with a stunned look on her face. "You invited those UGLY beyotches? What is wrong with you?"
"They paid us a minimum of $500 to get in." Velvet said sarcastically. "Christy gave me $750."
"Okay. I guess that's fine." Angelina said. "As long as we get paid…I guess I can deal with the rest of the knockouts for one day."
"I didn't invite ALL the knockouts." Velvet said. "Tara's not coming and Daffney isn't either. Neither one is worthy of gracing the Mi Pi Sexy Sorority house."
"I taught you well, my young padawan." Angelina said, putting her hands together. "At least you didn't invite the ugliest of the ugly. So what kind of cake is it going to be?"
"I can't tell you!" Velvet exclaimed. "How do I know you won't run and tell Madison?"
"Hell-lo!" Angelina said, snapping her fingers. "You forget who you're talking to? I won't tell Madison anything. Promise."
"It's gonna be a marble cake." Velvet said. "The most beautiful cake in the whole world." She then picks up a figurine of Madison. "Its even gonna a little Madison on the top."
"So thoughtful of you, Vel-Vel." Angelina said, smiling.
"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that…" Velvet said, staring a hole through Angelina.
Angelina walked out of the room and scoffed. "Well…"
As Angelina kept on walking, Velvet continued to create her cake. "Now that she's gone, maybe I can finish. So where was I? 'An appropriately sized cake pan.' All the knockouts except Tara and Daffney. That's twelve people including Angelina and Madison…factor in the fact that Angelina will have more than one piece. I better get the biggest cake pan we have." So she grabs a huge cake pan and slowly poured the batter into the pan. As Velvet pours, she starts singing again. "I kissed a girl just to try it – I hope my boyfriend don't mind it…" After the batter was in the pan, she danced her way over to the stove, already set to 500 degrees, and slid the first cake inside. She shut the door and danced her way out in the main hallway where Angelina was putting up the second half of a huge banner reading "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADISON." She looked up and smiled. "You need any help, Angelina?"
"No. I'm almost done here." Angelina started out, busy trying the hang the sign. "But you can hand me some nails."
"Sure thing, Angelina." Velvet said, bending over to get the nails. Angelina was staring long and hard. Sure she had a bird's eye view of Velvet's ample backside, but she really had no idea just how ample it was. She tried to refocus as Velvet was getting up and almost lost her footing. Fortunately, she stayed on the ladder. "Were you looking at my ass again, Angelina?"
"N..No?!" Angelina said, stuttering. "Why would I do something like that?"
"Right, Angelina." Velvet said, licking her lips. "Here's your nails."
"Thanks." Angelina started hammering the banner over the fireplace. "Hey, Velvet. You think Madison will like all of this? She hasn't said two words since she was accepted into The Beautiful People."
"I think she will, Angelina." Velvet said. "Even if she doesn't this will be the party of the century! No one throws a party like Mi Pi Sexy!"
"Uh, Velvet…" Angelina cut in. "…you smell something?"
"Uh, yeah!" Velvet said. "The stench is probably coming from Storm's Bar! I can smell those beer swilling losers from here. I can't believe that they'd allow that much UGLY near The Beautiful People!"
"No, Velvet. I'm not kidding this time." Angelina said in wonder. "I smell something. It smells like something's burning. What did you put that cake on?"
"500. Why?" Velvet replied.
"VELVET, YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!" Angelina shouted. "MADISON'S CAKE IS BURNING! GET IT OUT OF THE DAMN STOVE!"
Velvet and Angelina ran into the kitchen only to see the stove completely on fire. The cake had turned into flambé, engulfing the stove in a wall of flames. Angelina ran to the pantry to get the fire extinguisher as Velvet tried went for a bucket of water. But she realized that after she filled the bucket, the whole kitchen would be on fire. So she filled a pot up and tried dousing the flames, but it only made it worse. The flames reached the lights of the stove.
"OH, DAMMIT!" Velvet said in udder shock. "ANGELINA! HURRY UP WITH THAT EXITINGUSHIER!"
"HOLD ON, VELVET!" Angelina said from the pantry. She was tossing everything around the pantry until she found it hidden in a cupboard. Angelina grabbed it and ran back to the kitchen. Velvet was still trying to douse the flames with water, making the flames shoot up higher. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"
"TRYING TO GET RID OF THIS FIRE!!!" Velvet shouted back.
"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Angelina snapped at Velvet, pointing the extinguisher right at the wall of fire. "TAKE THIS, YOU UGLY FIRE!!!"
Angelina turned the extinguisher on at full blast, hoping to fan the flames and clear out the kitchen. Shouting out her loudest war cry, she relentlessly sprayed the flames to die down. The flames shot up as high as they could and a fire ball came from out of nowhere. Angelina and Velvet screamed as they took cover. The fire ball hit the back wall and spread flames through every part of the kitchen until everything was burning.
"This is bad, Angelina…" Velvet said nervously. "Water didn't work. The extinguisher didn't work. Fire is spreading throughout the kitchen, and pretty soon the house. What do we do?"
"The only thing we haven't tried yet." Angelina started out. "RUN!!!"
The Beautiful People ran as fast as they could toward the front door while flames were engulfing every square inch of the Mi Pi Sexy Sorority House. The fire spread from the kitchen into the living area, where all of Madison's presents were. It was a mad chase because everywhere Angelina and Velvet tried to escape, the fire followed. They finally got to the front door and stood there for a couple seconds. They both charged it in a frenzy trying to get out as the fire was hot on their tails. Velvet knocked the door off the hinges and Angelina tackled Velvet on the way out. When they came to, they looked up to see their beloved house engulfed in a bed of flames. Angelina and Velvet were crying as they watched the carnage. Angelina looked square at Velvet with tears in her eyes.
"So how are you going to fix this?" Angelina snapped.
"Me?" Velvet asked in shock.
"Uh, yeah you. You're the one that burned the fuckin' house down." Angelina retorted.
"I don't know." Velvet said. "I'll think of something."
"You better." Angelina said, crying. "…bitch."
Angelina walked off towards the city with Velvet in tow. Party ruined and nowhere to go, The Beautiful People now have to think just how they would find another place to house the Mi Pi Sexy Sorority…and to throw Madison Rayne's birthday party. It seemed like the end of Mi Pi Sexy as we know it, but they aren't the only ones with a problem on their hands…