Hey my American readers! Happy Thanksgiving! Here's what you get after the all the turkey and stuffing and all that yummy good stuff. For my non-American readers...well, here's a little short short story to make you smile.
The Survivor's Guide to Surviving Thanksgiving
Ah the holidays, a time for families to get together for joy and love, and more importantly, food. And on Thursday November 24th is Thanksgiving. On this day, families eat a lot of food (mainly turkey)and watch football all day. During the zombie apocalypse, celebrating such a holiday may be a bit challenging, but if done right, you too can have a fun filled day of thanks.
It was quite a sight to behold. Turkeys…turkeys everywhere. A whole farm of the big birds, brown, whites, blacks, whatever colors the turkey came in. They were all just running around, sauntering around the field like it was nobody's business. And if one could be caught, it could be turned into food. Really legit food…it was enough to make Divine's mouth water. Roasted, stuffed turkey with mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, gravy, cranberries, biscuits, and pumpkin pie. All that good food she was missing out on, not like anybody was cooking anything today. Beside her, her companions were staring hungrily at all the fresh meat before them, licking their chops and panting excitedly.
"Ine….what they be?" Zachary asked fidgeting in place, his claws digging into the ground, an action he so wanted to perform on the birds.
"Turkeys…..food…..yummy delicious food" Divine replied, jamming a fresh clip into her rifle. "Every year on this day, people all over the country would eat them, as is tradition. We'd eat them, and all this other delicious stuff…you two would have a field day"
"Can…can we eat them? Like, right now?" Ryan leaned down to ask her, looking a bit on edge himself. Divine looked at him, then down to Zachary, back up to Ryan, and nodded. The Smoker let out an oddly excited squeal and took off into the crowd. Zachary gave a loud Hunter scream and jumped into the fray. Suddenly, the field was alive with activity. The turkeys squawked loudly, running around in all directions, desperately trying to avoid the crazed infected that were mercilessly slaughtering them.
Divine held back, but soon joined in, using the butt of her rifle to smack any unlucky turkey that didn't die from the first slow from her boys. At this rate, they would have enough for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for like…days. Divine wanted weeks but knowing the metabolism of her pair of infected, it wouldn't be surprising if half the field of birds was empty by the next morning. She was actually shocked that Zachary had stopped to actually eat in mid-frenzy.
The girl slowed down to stare at him. He was hunched over the bird, claws shredding through feathers and skin, hot insides spilling out. As she drew close, his head lifted, and in the sunlight, two little points on his face glinted. Oh…wrong Hunter. His hoodie was soaked in blood, it was not just a dark red color.
"Can you guys kill and eat in a clean manner?" she asked the little green Hunter, her only reply was a loud crunching of bone. "….I'll take that as a no. Help yourself then" she said before moving. Correction, the dead birds would only them at two days at tops. They suddenly had an extra stomach to feed. Great.
What seemed like an innocent massacre of turkeys quickly turned bad as some of the big birds decided enough was e-fucking-nough. Some of them had turned on Ryan, pecking the Smoker with a passion and turning him into a giant cuttle-bone. Before he could become another common bird accessory, Divine and Zachary swooped in to save him, fighting tooth, nail, and gun butt to save the poor man. And now, Ryan was tearing apart the dead ones with a vengeance. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen a Smoker so incredibly pissed at something like he was now. It was kind of funny.
In the meantime, Divine had been slowly cooking a turkey leg with a couple of cigarette lighters. It probably wouldn't be same without an oven, but dying from in the zombie apocalypse would not fly in her book. At least it was a fun Thanksgiving…..or least she thought it was….It was November…right? Because the Green Flu outbreak happened in October…it had been a month hadn't it? It felt colder and she had to find them all new clothing but….did that really mean what she thought? Was Christmas only a few weeks away?
"Hey, does anyone have a calendar on hand?"
Told you it was short. But Happy Thanksgiving anyway! And in case you're wondering, yes, I may do another short story for the winter holidays. Later gators!