Author's notes….

As always, the original copyright holders retain their rights, and this is intended for the non-commercial enjoyment of the readers. Comments and reviews are always welcome, as long as they bear in mind that I am not a perfect typist, do not always get timelines right, muddle items from manga and anime without regard for canon, and have other personal quirks like my low sense of humour.

This is created for the enjoyment of the reader and is not intended for commercial use and cannot be distributed in any form by any means other than normal use of .

All characters names are non-canon, being amalgams of my memory as well as what reference materials I can refer to during the creation of this story.

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Tendo Residence and Dojo, Nerima Prefecture. Sometime in the second week of summer vacation.

"WAAAAH!" went Akane Tendo as she sat on the floor beside the telephone, gently pounding her head against the wall.

She hiccuped and held her hand in front of her mouth in embarrassment. Her stomach then took that moment to grumble, actually generating an echo in the hallway.

"Just my luck! I had to stay behind so that I could study for my university entrance exams while everyone else goes to the beach for the month! Not only that, but I've already gone through all of the meals that Kasumi had frozen for me, and there's no take-aways open because it's a holiday!"

Sighing, she reached once again for the phonebook and then pulled the phone into her lap.

Rummaging through the book, she chose a nearby restaurant and then dialed its number while trying to balance both telephone book and phone in her lap.

"Mushi, mushi! Goddess Assistance Support Line. How may I help you?" went the voice at the other end of the line.

Akane tried scrambling as both items slid off of her lap. "Gomen Nessai, gomen!" she squeaked. "I was trying to reach Harahito's Tepanyaki Shop and must have called you by accident."

"Ah, that does happen. Nevermind, I'll be right over for your consultation."

"No! No!" went Akane. "I was trying to get lunch not help..."

"That's why we're here. Let me hang up and I'll be right there."

The phone went dead and the dial tone returned as Akane looked at the handset and shook her head. "Be right there? Some people just won't listen when you say that it was a wrong number."

"With the Goddess Assistance Support Line, there are no wrong numbers." The same voice as had been on the other end of the line now came from down the hallway as a young lady's head poked out of the mirror as she stepped out of it and into the hallway, then brushed down her strange-looking dress and adjusted it.

She looked over at Akane and straightened then gave a short bow. "Hello, my name is Skuld, Goddess, Second class, first category, limited license. Assigned to the Tenth Dimension of Heaven, Yggdrasil. I can grant you one wish, up to and including the destruction of the Earth. However, any wish affecting reality as a whole will have to be approved by Kami-sama."

Akane just stared and then her eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted.

Akane's sense returned to her, and she looked around without sitting up. "How did I get to the Wahitsu?", she wondered as she slowly pushed herself to a sitting position.

A tray, held up with a pair of hands, drifted past her and was placed on the table beside her.

"I've made some tea and a light lunch for when you woke up," came the voice of the young lady from before, who now shifted into Akane's view and then sat down in front of the tray and placed teacups in front of them and then put a tray of sandwiches in between them. She then poured tea into the cups and then sat back.

"I must apologize. Big-sis Belldandy warned me that sudden appearances like mine can cause people to faint. I pulled you in here, made you comfortable and then waited for you to wake up, so we can start properly."

Akane's stomach rumbled again and Akane blushed.

The young lady smiled and motioned towards the plate. "Please satisfy yourself, and I'll answer what questions you have when you're done."

Akane suddenly realized where the sandwiches had come from. "You... you... weren't in the kitchen, were you?" as she struggled hard not to reach for the sandwiches.

The young lady shuddered slightly. "Yes, but Benpai and I cleaned it, or at least mostly, before we started making lunch."

Akane looked in the direction of the kitchen and then back at the young lady. "Who...who's ... Banpei?"

The kitchen curtains twitched and a short figure made of metal appeared, looking like the Clockwork Man from The Wizard of OZ. It's eyes blinked and it doffed its hat at her, and then returned to whatever it was doing in the kitchen. Pots rattled and a scrubbing sound came from the kitchen as the curtain flopped down.

"That was Benpai. He's my robot, usually used for defense from attacks by Marlier, but your kitchen really was a mess and even that was beyond my powers doing it by myself. So, I called in Benpai and he's been working on tidying everything up."

Akane blushed, dropped her eyes, and gradually reached out to take a sandwich. "Domo Arigato... Inutakimas..." she muttered as she started eating the sandwich, forcing herself to go slowly and thoroughly chew it when she wanted to scarf it down like she'd seen Genma usually do.

After three sandwiches, Akane felt that her stomach was now full enough not to complain at inopportune moments. Taking a last sip from her teacup, she looked at her "guest" and asked the obvious question: "If you're a goddess, why didn't you clean the kitchen with a wave of your wand or something like that?"

Skuld blushed and looked down at her fingers twiddling. "That's why my license is 'limited'. I haven't come into my full powers and using them them now seems to have unexpected results. I'm really good at making gadgets and things, like Benpai. That and debugging Yggdrasil."

Akane looked startled. "Debugging? That sounds like computers and such."

Skuld nodded. "Something like that. Yggdrasil or the World Tree is something like a computer, controlling all of reality; but the 'bugs' aren't software, more like an infestation. If you can call something that looks like a cross between a rabbit and a spider a 'bug.' Only one thing that really seems to work is this."

Reaching out her hand, a mallet dropped out of nowhere into her hand. With a flourish, Skuld jumped to her feet and pretended to smack an invisible rabbit-spider in front of her.

Akane laughed. "I do something like that!" Pulling her mallet out of weapon-space, she stood up and waved it around, miming smashing someone over the head and then hitting them in the stomach area. "Of course, I don't smash bugs, just perverts. Ranma can sometimes be a pervert and he definitely gets whacked. Of course, being a martial arts expert, he's almost impervious to most blows, and generally bounces back. "

Skuld looked at the size of Akane's mallet, twitching an eyebrow. "You sure that that thing isn't a bit of overkill?"

"Size impresses most people. Your croquet mallet would work in debugging, but I don't think that Ranma would really be impressed. At least until you hit him in the head or launch him at least halfway across Nerima or into low-earth orbit. THEN he'd might be impressed or have in impression made in him."

They both giggled and then made their respective mallets disappear. They both sat down and Akane leaned on elbow on the table and looked at Skuld. "what's next on the itinerary?"

Skuld smiled and assumed the same positioning but facing Akane. "They don't really cover this well in the Goddess Training Manual, except to say 'understand the client'. How about you tell me about your life from the beginning and tell Big-Sister Skuld all about why you need a wish.

Akane smiled. "Well, first there was this bright light and then it was cold and someone smacked me on my butt and then said 'congratulations! It's a girl!'"

Skuld laughed and waved her hands between them. "Not THAT far back! Just when things went all wrong."

Akane laughed at Skuld's expression and sighed, then took on a sad expression. "That would be when Okasan died. Otasan went to pieces and Kasumi, Nibiki and I tried to pick up the pieces and keep the house going. That was when I was really small, so young that I really can't remember her more than shapes and sounds. Kasumi seemed to have shifted into that role, while Nibiki manages the finances... I don't think that they were actually planning to get stuck in those roles. They just happened."

For the next two hours, Akane went through the Tendos' lives up to the arrival of the Saotomes, then went on through the chaos of the last three years, what with all the other fiancees, the attacks and everything else that happened. Even disasters like the failed weddings and her role in some of the activities. Skuld only interrupted with questions on details or to fetch more tea or other drinks from the kitchen.

Akane finally slowed down and stopped then looked at Skuld, noticing the thoughtful expression on Skuld's face and the silence coming from the kitchen. Glancing at the kitchen entrance, she noticed the presence of Banpei, who was standing there and looking at them.

Skuld looked over and said "all done?" Benpai nodded and doffed its hat and then drew an arm across what would have been its forehead. "Well, then, plug yourself in and wait for further orders. Keep an open eye for Marlier putting in an appearance. We haven't seen her for at least a month, which means that she'll be looking for trouble and getting it, in spades."

Akane looked at Skuld. "Should I be worried?"

Skuld shook her head. "I see that you have a bunch of good luck cats around, Maneki-Nekos. Benpai will use them and take her by surprise, like always. She'll freak out, like always. Then she'll flee, like always, and then she'll sit and sulk for about a month..."

"Like always!" the two quipped together and giggled.

Benpai knocked on the wall and then rubbed its tummy and them pointed at where its mouth would be, jerked its thumb in the direction of the refrigerator, then put its hat back on and stepped back into the kitchen.

Skuld looked at Akane. "He's saying that there's nothing in the fridge."

Akane looked embarrassed. "I tried making lunch... Went through everything that Kasumi had left and didn't have time to go shopping."

Skuld smiled and straightened. "Well, perfect excuse to go shopping. What were you planning to make?"

Akane swallowed and looked up at Skuld. "Just a simple curry, nothing fancy. I told you that I'm terrible in the kitchen, but I wanted to prove that I CAN DO THIS."

Skuld looked concerned. "I remember. You'd said something about one of the other fiancees calling you the Kitchen Destroyer. Cutting close to the mark?"

Akane nodded, trying hard to not cry. Tears stated to drip down her cheeks.

Skuld knelt beside Akane and pulled her into a hug. "as bad as that, hunh?"

Akane nodded. "Worse," she whispered.

Skuld hugged her tighter. "Well, then. At least with me here at the moment, you won't starve to death for lack of sandwiches and curry. About the only things that I can make are sandwiches and curry. Big-Sis Belldandy tries to teach me but it always goes wrong. If I try really hard to make it go right, I usually wind up with pots with holes in them, scorch marks on the ceiling and something running outside and under the bushes."

Akane started hitching and heaving, then started snickering and then finally laughing so hard that she started crying again. Looking at Skuld, she quipped with a sort-of smile, "Could we be related? I mean two Kitchen Destroyers. We HAVE to be related."

Skuld shrugged. "Possibly. Heaven only knows where and what Kami-Sama goes and gets up to. Of course, talking about Kami-Sama does tends to draw his attention, and..." Thunder grumbled in the distance.

Skuld stood and pulled Akane up as well. "better get your purse and wallet. Let's go get the necessary stuff before that thunder gets here..."

The two were sitting in one of Akane's favourite ice cream emporiums, enjoying fairly similar and decadent parfaits, and snickering over something.

At that moment, there was a massive flash of lightning and a peal of thunder that shook the windows. Rain then poured from the skies, becoming an instant flood down the street. Akane recovered from her startle, then paled.

Skuld looked over and concern spread across her face. "What's wrong?"

"The futons from everyone's rooms. We'd gone off and left them hanging on the drying racks. We'd better get home before they get totally ruined... Crap! I have no idea how to dry them now that they've been hanging in the rain...they're totally ruined!"

As Skuld reached out to try to restrain Akane, a yellow Post-it note drifted between them and affixed itself to Akane's forehead, causing her to cross her eyes in trying to see what it was.

Skuld reached out and pulled it off of Akane's forehead as another massive peal of thunder grumbled overhead. She gave the note a quick scan and paled.

Akane reached out and took the note from Skuld. "What's it say?": '

Skuld took a deep breath and looked Akane in the eyes. "It saysDon't worry, a little rain won't hurt them. Set up lines in the dojo and hang the futons with towels underneath. Get up early and hang them up again. Remember to take them in before it rains again, about 3 or so. Look for the Kitchen Goddess book and read it tonight. KS'"

Akane looked around for. No one was really paying attention to them. Looking back at Skuld, she asked "Any ideas on what's going on?"

"It's from Kami-Sama."

"Nani?! You don't mean that ...", pointing a forefinger upwards, "is giving us housekeeping and laundry instructions?"

Skuld nodded, taking the note and looking at it askance. "This is something that he'd do. Subtle, quiet, just like Big-Sis would say... Totally out of the ordinary, especially for him."

A second yellow Post-It note drifted into sight and now stuck itself to Skuld's forehead. Akane reached out, pulled it off and looked at it. "Happy face with a winking eye. It also says 'Go home, don't forget your umbrellas.' What umbrellas? We didn't come with any. Mine is sitting in my schoolbag which is right on my desk... Not stuck into the bag of shopping..." Akane looked at Skuld's shopping bag. "You got one too, looks like Kasai's..."

Skuld looked down and shrugged. "Sometimes, sometimes, I just don't know what passes through his mind. We'd better get home before it's too late for dinner and we don't get things done before dark. He'll probably do something to make us feel totally stupid and point out our failures in minute detail for the whole world to see."

Akane nodded and grabbed the shopping bag, pulled out the umbrella."Guess we'd better get a move on. Don't want to disappoint Kami-Sama."

Skuld reached for her bag and nodded. "No, you really don't..."

Akane draped her arms across the shoulders of Skuld and looked at the futons hanging from the ropes stretched across the dojo, with towels running below them, soaking up the drips falling unto them. "Should be pretty well dry by morning. How's the curry coming?"

Skuld looked up into Akane's face. "Just about ready. Time for you to come in and get cleaned up. Things should be ready in about ten minutes."

"Thanks, Skuld. I really appreciate you hanging around and helping out with everything, especially supper. Any luck in finding that book?"

"No. I suspect that is something intended for you to find, or both of us to find together. Any ideas?"

"Yeah. 'Kitchen Goddess' pretty well describes Kasumi. I'm willing to bet that Kasumi had left me a book and I overlooked it. Let's go looking for it in the kitchen after dinner. I'll tidy the table and clean the dishes, which is the least that I can do. I'm willing to bet that your worst curry is still better than my best, if your sandwiches are anything to compare to."

"Hun, hunh. I'll bet that Banpei moved it and put it in a perfectly logical location that makes absolutely no sense to us. Come on, Akane, go and get tidied up."

Akane nodded, then sniffed herself. "Time enough to hit the furo? I'll have to be quick. Call me when everything's ready to be served, and I'll help out."

As Akane, Skuld and Banpei put the last of the dishes away, Skuld reached over and pulled open a panel on the back of Benpai. "Time for your dinner, Banpei. Now remember that this is not your usual power cable so small sips and bites, and power down everything not really needed. If we need you, we'll call for you. Okay?

Banpei doffed his hat and then shuffled over to a corner of the kitchen and then settled down. Skuld plugged the other end of the cord into a wall socket and then Banpei settled down,facing into the wall.

Skuld looked over at Akane. "Any ideas where you sister might have put books that she wanted you to find and read?"

Akane was dumb-founded and blushed. "Didn't really think that she'd do something like that. I was all set to study like mad and prepare myself light meals. Kasumi said something about the recipe books and such..."

Banpei make a sharp rapping sound on the counter and pointed in front of himself as he went into fully-powered-down mode.

Leaning against the rack of books on the countertop was a small card with writing on it.. Akane reached in front of Banpei and plucked the card that Banpei was pointing at. She read it and passed it along to Skuld.

"Akane. I know that you're going to be cooking for yourself when the frozen dinners are finished. Before you panic, I've put Okasan's diary at the end, plus my own cooking diary with all of my recipes, as well as both of our introductory books on housekeeping and cooking. Ranma called them 'The Zen of Kitchen' and the 'Domestic Goddess Training Manual'. Please try not to damage or destroy them, but they are how I learned. Take your time, you don't have to be perfect, just be calm and do not be afraid to make mistakes. Above all else, no one will laugh and make fun of you. Love, Kasumi."

Akane blushed and looked down at her toes, tears dripping down her cheeks. "They were here, right where she thought I would find them. And of course, I had to go charging in like a gorilla and ... and... and..."

Skuld wrapped her arm around Akane's shoulders. "And you got the Goddess Assistance Support Line to help you."

Akane nodded. "Yes, and I'm ready to make my wish, if you don't mind. In spite of everything, I've been glad that you've been around."

Skuld smiled. "So am I. If you're going to make your wish, we'd better move outside. If I have to connect to Heaven to get Kami-Sama's approval, it'll wind up punching holes in the ceiling and roof. Big-Sis told me about Keichi's wish and what happened."

They stepped out through the kitchen door, walked over to beside the koi pond and stopped facing each other.

Skuld went "Ready when you are."

Akane nodded. "Here goes. I wish that I could learn to be a Domestic Goddess like Okasan and Kasumi, not to be as good as them but to be good enough to satisfy Kasumi, Dad and Ranma when they get back from vacation, and I'd like you to be there with me as I learn."

Skuld was gob-smacked and she closed here eyes and folded her hands as she repeated the words of Akane's wish. She started singing a single note and her head fell back on her shoulders. A beam shot from her forehead into the the sky, on its way towards Heaven. The beam ended and they both stood still when a return beam of light came down and surrounded them both.

A deep tone belled and Skuld straightened and shook her head. "Your wish has been granted and specific instructions are coming."

Reaching out with her hands, Skuld took Akane's and pulled her backwards toward the kitchen.

A large black marble monolith dropped from the skies in the beam of light and embedded itself in the ground beside the pond, exactly between where they had been standing.

Akane stepped forward and looked at the monolith, rubbing her hands across the surface. She stopped and looked at Skuld.

"Kami-Sama's having a joke with us. Looks at the monolith's dimensions: one four, nine... That's the squares of the first three prime numbers. He's always been a fan of '2001: A Space Odyssey'. There should be writing around somewhere."

Akane pointed at the surface she was facing. "It just appeared. English, Kanji and something odd."

Skuld walked over and stood beside Akane. "Norse Runes. Another of Kami-Sama's 'little jokes'."

"Yep, just as you said. May you learn to be a Domestic Goddess by the time that your father,family and fiancee get back, and may I be there with you. Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!"

Akane looked at her. "What's up?"

"That smart-ass! He's added to your wish - 'May they learn without use of powers and outside assistance, but solely on their own efforts.'"

Skuld dashed off to the kitchen and looked in through the door, then collapsed against the doorframe. Looking back at Akane, she called out "Banpeii's still here! At least we have the robot to help us!"

Another yellow Post-It note drifted past Akane's face and lodged itself against the writing. Without thinking, Akane reached out and pulled the note off and read it. She then called out to Skuld, "he says that Banpei's not going to do any domestic tasks, and that includes restoration of the house and dojo for damages. We are on our own for the next month! And he fisnishes it with on word 'Gotcha!'"

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!"