A/N: I'm sorry for my EXTREMELY long delay. I've been suffering some writer's block. But to show I'm still alive, here's a funny one-shot for you guys.
This one-shot is based off of the unaired Dexter's Laboratory episode, "Rude Removal".
WARNING: The following story contains inappropriate language. Reader Discretion is Advised.
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Sherman and Penny's Rude Removal
New York City, the largest in the U.S. is the home of the world renowned canine, Mr. Peabody. We go to the top of the luxurious penthouse apartment, overlooking Central Park. On the balcony, stood a small 7 and a half year old boy with red hair, and glasses, bored out of his mind, wondering what to do. Suddenly, the child's phone rings, so he picks it up and answers.
Boy: Hello?
Caller: Hi Sherman, its Penny.
Sherman: Oh, hi Penny! How are you?
Penny: I'm good. Listen, I'm bored out of my mind. I was wondering if I could come over today?
Sherman: Hold on, Let me ask Mr. Peabody.
Sherman then goes inside to the house to find Mr. Peabody.
Meanwhile at Mr. Peabody's Laboratory
Mr. Peabody was working on another one of his inventions,adjusting the machine's systems.
Mr. Peabody: Ahh, my latest invention is close to complete. Hmm, maybe one more adjustment to the flux capacitors.
As Mr. Peabody was finishing up on his invention, the lab doors opened and in came Sherman.
Sherman: Hi, Mr. Peabody.
Mr. Peabody: Oh hello, Sherman. Is there something you need?
Sherman: I just want to know if Penny can come over today.
Mr. Peabody: Of course, I don't mind having her around.
Sherman then talks to the phone again.
Sherman: Mr. Peabody says that you can come over.
Penny: Great! I'll be over soon.
Sherman: Okay, Bye Penny!
Penny: Bye, Sherman!
After Sherman hangs up his phone, he takes a look at Mr. Peabody's newest invention. Curious, he asks him another question.
Sherman: What are you working on, Mr. Peabody?
Mr. Peabody: Well, Sherman, I'm glad you asked. I realized that there's only one emotion in the human entity that's more volatile than anything else, rudeness. So this machine is designed to help with that. Behold, The Rude Removal System!
Sherman: What does it do?
Mr. Peabody: Let me explain. It locates the rudeness of a person, removes it and contains it.
Sherman: That's cool! Well, I'll leave you to your work, Mr. Peabody
With that said, Sherman leaves his canine father to his invention, and goes to the living room to wait for Penny.
One Hour Later...
Sherman lies down on the imported rug on the living room, still awaiting the arrival of his best friend. Mr. Peabody, who just finished his invention 5 minutes ago, walks in, and sees the young boy lying in boredom.
Mr. Peabody: Still waiting for Penny, are you Sherman?
Sherman tilts his head to the side to see Mr. Peabody, smiling at the sight of him.
Sherman: Yeah, Mr. Peabody. I'm so bored, even boredom is not enough to describe it. Why can't we go on a trip to the WABAC again?
Mr. Peabody: Because Sherman, since you tried to show off the WABAC to Penny by traveling to multiple timelines in just one night, you've damaged the internal systems, so the WABAC requires a system update, so we can't go on anymore history trips until the update is finished.
Suddenly, a ding is heard and Sherman leaps from his lying state and stands on his legs perfectly. He then runs toward the penthouse elevator with Mr. Peabody slowly following him. The doors to the elevator open and out comes a little girl with straight blonde hair, and a curl to one side. She wears a long pink dress with stripes colored with a different shade of pink. The girl is quickly greeted by Sherman.
Sherman: Hi Penny!
Penny: Hi Sherman! Hi Mr. Peabody.
Mr. Peabody: Good afternoon, Ms. Peterson.
Penny: So, what can we do today?
Sherman: Well, I would suggest going to the WABAC, but the machine needs an update since... last time happened.
Penny: Aw man! That's a shame.
Mr: Peabody: Well, while you two decide what to do, I'll be in the kitchen, preparing something to eat for the both of you.
Sherman and Penny: Okay, Mr. Peabody.
Mr. Peabody then walks to the kitchen to prepare lunch. Penny suddenly got an idea, as an imaginary light bulb appeared on top of her head.
Penny: Hey, how about we go into Mr. Peabody's lab?
Sherman: I don't think that's a good idea, Penny.
Penny: Oh, come on! What's the worse that can happen? Lets go.
Sherman: I don't know.
Penny: Don't be such a buzzkill. Come on!
Normally, when it comes to ideas like this, Sherman goes against them. However, he is bored, so exploring with Penny will take that boredom away for now. So the two go to Peabody's lab. Once the two arrive, Penny stares in wonder of all the technological marvels that Mr. Peabody created. Sherman, however look on normally, having seen all of the inventions before. Penny looks at freeze rays, a solar powered jetpack, and oddly enough, a futuristic car with a fuel hose attached to a cow's butt.
Cow: Mooo!
Penny: Weird.
Penny keeps browsing the room, until one particular machines catches Penny's attention.
Penny: Sherman, what's this?
Sherman: Oh that? That's Mr. Peabody's newest invention, The Rude Removal System.
Penny: What does it do?
Sherman: It removes your rudeness and contains it. Like, if you were rude, the machine will take your rudeness away.
Penny: That's cool... Wait. Why am I used as an example?
Sherman: Well, you were rude to me back in the first day of school.
Penny: I wasn't rude, that was mild teasing. You are the rude one because you bit me!
Sherman: That's because you put me in a headlock!
Penny: Whatever. The rude one is you
Sherman: No you.
Penny: You.
Sherman: You.
Penny: You!
Sherman: You!
Penny: YOU!
Sherman: YOU!
Penny: Gee, your right, Sherman. I am the rude one. See?
Penny shoves Sherman to the machine. One of his hands presses the power button, and the machine powers on.
Computer: Rude Removal System, activated!
Sherman: Hey, what was that for!
Penny: I was just being rude!
Penny shoves Sherman again, this time, sending him to one of the machine's pods
Sherman: Penny! Knock it off!
Penny walks towards Sherman and enters the pod.
Penny: What? I was just showing you how rude I...
She was cut of by the sound of closed doors.
Computer: Rude Removal Sequence, initiated!
A mysterious pink smoke fills the pod where Sherman and Penny are in. It goes through the machine's see-through pipe, and fills up the empty pod.
Computer: Rude Removal sequence, complete!
Penny and Sherman exit their pod and look at themselves with wide smiles. They begin to talk to each other, strangely, with a British accent.
Penny: Bravo Sherman! I can see that your father's Rude Removal machine is a smashing success!
Sherman: Quite. Like I explained before, it take the rudeness of a person, removes it, and then contains it.
Suddenly the pod filled with pink smoke opens up and reveals a SECOND Sherman and Penny, only this time, with a slightly darker color shade, dirtier clothing, and messy hair. Sherman's hairstyle is his normal dip cut, but its split from the middle, and droops to either side, Penny's hairstyle is more pointed at the ends, and her curl is replace with the hair covering her right eye.
The bad words start now. Kids, cover your ears. Don't say I didn't warn you...
Second Sherman: Where the f*** are we?
Second Penny: Beats the s*** out of me!
The rude Sherman and Penny are then greetes by the nicer duo.
Nice Sherman: Why you're in Mr. Peabody's laboratory. My name is Sherman, and this golden haired angel is mybest friend, Penny.
Nice Penny: Charmed.
Rude Sherman: Ah, f*** off!
Nice Sherman and Penny: *gasp* Oh, dear.
Nice Sherman clears his throat to politely address his and Penny's rude counterparts.
Nice Sherman: Excuse me, sir and madame. That was very rude and we are in want of an apology.
Rude Sherman however, grabs Nice Sherman by his shirt collar and shows him a fist, close to his face.
Rude Sherman: Yeah, here's your f***ing apology!
Mr. Peabody: Sherman, Penny! Lunchtime!
Rude Penny: Lunchtime? F*** yeah!
Rude Sherman: Alright! I'm f***ing starving!
Rude Sherman tosses Nice Sherman to the ground, causinf him to land with a thud, and Rude Sherman and Penny leave to go get some lunch. Nice Penny looks down and frowns upon Nice Sherman, feeling sorry for how rude his counterpart treated him.
Nice Penny: Sherman, I'm so sorry those meanies broke your father's machine and made you look like a wimp.
Nice Sherman: Its quite alright, Penny. Perhaps they'll be in kinder spirits when they eat Mr. Peabody's delicious cooking.
Both children lick their lips as they have tasted Mr. Peabody's cooking and enjoyed his exquisite meals.
Nice Sherman and Penny: Mmm!
Meanwhile at the dining room...
Rude Sherman and Penny kick the door to the kitchen, harshly.
Mr. Peabody: Hello children. Please be seated. I'll be right with you.
Rude Sherman and Penny struggle to sit on one seat until Penny manages to push Sherman off. Mr. Peabody then brings two plates of food to the children.
Mr. Peabody: I hope you're hungry, because I have a new dish for you. Its...
However, Mr. Peabody trips on Rude Sherman and the dog tries to make sure the dishes don't spill.
Mr. Peabody: ...something that I got fromanItaliancookbookfromtheRenessiance!
Mr. Peabody slams the dishes on the table. Luckily, the plates didn't break, nor the food hasn't spilled out.
Mr. Peabody: I hope you like it.
Rude Sherman gets up and sits on a different seat. He take a bite from the food, Mr. Peabody prepared for him.
Mr. Peabody: Well. What do you think, Sherman?
Rude Sherman: I think it tastes like s***!
Rude Sherman spits his chewed up food at Mr. Peabody's face, who was extremely shocked. Both by the chewed up food on his face, and the language, Sherman used. The dog falls backwards and faints. Rude Sherman gets up to find something to eat, while Rude Penny eats the food like a wild animal who hasn't eaten in, days.
Rude Sherman: I've gotta find some f***ing food!
He then searches his fridge to find something good to eat, while tossing fruits and vegetables, eggs, milk, and other things behind him.
Rude Sherman: Uh, uh! No! Nuh, uh! Nada! No way! *gasps*
Rude Sherman pulls out a banana cream pie with a cherry on top.
Rude Sherman: Oh baby! Come to papa!
As Rude Sherman was about to eat the pie, Mr. Peabody regains consciousness and looks at Sherman in surprise.
Mr. Peabody: Sherman! No! Absolutely not! You can't have any dessert!
Rude Sherman: Why not!? You want it all for yourself?!
He then gestures the middle finger to Mr. Peabody, causing him to faint again. Rude Sherman then starts to eat the pie like an animal while Rude Penny ravages the pantry.
Rude Penny: Hey! Where's the f***ing candy?!
She tosses a can behind her which hits Rude Sherman in the head during his feeding frenzy with a pie.
Rude Sherman: Ow! F***! Hey! Watch where you're throwing that! You b****!
Rude Penny: Okay. I... will!
She then throws another can to Rude Sherman, this time on purpose.
Rude Sherman: Ow! FOOD FIGHT!
Rude Sherman tosses his pie to Rude Penny, splatting over her face.
Rude Sherman: Hahahaha!
His laugh is interrupted as Rude Penny throws a watermelon, which breaks over Rude Sherman's head.
Rude Penny: Hahahahaha!
The two continue throw different food items at each other until Mr. Peabody regains consciousness again. Furious by the current display of misbehavior, he shouts out.
Mr. Peabody: STOP THIS THIS INSTANT! I don't know where you got this horrible behavior, but it ends now! Now Penny, go home, and Sherman, go to your room, FOREVER!
Rude Sherman: Look bro. That's cute and all, but let me tell you something, I make my own f***ing rules! So why don't you do what all good dogs do, and clean this up yourself! So long, dog!
Rude Sherman and Penny leave the mess formerly known as the kitchen, leaving a steaming furious Mr. Peabody behind. Rude Sherman and Penny re-encounter with Nice Sherman and Penny, who were walking to the kitchen.
Rude Sherman: Hey look! It's Dorkman and Dummy! Say, Nancy-Pants! Your dad wants ya!
Nice Sherman: Oh dear. Mr. Peabody. We better see what he needs. So are you two off then?
Rude Sherman: Yeah! We're gonna go f*** up your dad's lab!
Rude Sherman and Penny leave to the lab while Nice Sherman and Penny go to the kitchen door.
Nice Sherman: You know? They're not that bad once you know them. A little rough around the edges, but still.
The kitchen door opens, and a shadow of Mr. Peabody is shown.
Nice Sherman: Oh hello, Mr. Peabody. Are you in need of us?
Mr. Peabody just lets the two children enter the kitchen, pointing at the mess "they" made. He prepares to leave, but says one more thing to the kids.
Mr. Peabody: Now, I'm gonna go get a bar of soap to wash your filthy mouths, and when I get back, I want to see this place spotless!
The dog slams the door in anger, leaving the two kids with a massive mess to clean.
Nice Penny and Sherman: Oh my!
Nice Sherman: Well Penny, we must get to work.
Before they start cleaning, sounds can be heard from the bottom of the house. Nice Sherman finds out the cause ofthe noise.
Nice Sherman: It appears as our evil counterparts are making a mess at the lab. We should come to their aid. Wouldn't you say?
Nice Penny: Agreed. But what of the cleaning, dear friend?
Nice Sherman: Hmm? I've got it! It's a pip of an idea too! We'll leave a note!
Nice Sherman and Penny write a note and hang it on the refrigerator. It reads in cursive:
Dearest Mr. Peabody,
We have to come to the aid of our evil counterparts. We'll return soon to continue cleaning.
With regards, Sherman Peabody and Penny Peterson.
Nice Sherman: There we go! Come, my dear Penny.
Meanwhile at Mr. Peabody's lab...
Rude Sherman and Penny begin to wreck and destroy the lab. Sherman uses a laser cannon to, cause mayhem upon the lab. Nice Sherman and Penny arrive to stop them.
Nice Sherman: Excuse me, sir and madame, you must stop this senseless destruction right now.
Nice Penny gestures Nice Sherman to say one more thing.
Nice Sherman: Please.
Rude Sherman responds to the two with a laser blast. Nice Sherman and Penny dodge the laser and it temporarily stops, due to Rude Penny, wanting to use the cannon.
Rude Penny: Let me play with that!
Rude Sherman: You're too stupid to use this ya moron!
Rude Sherman then smacks Rude Penny on the top of her head with the laser cannon. The two begin to choke each other on the floor. Nice Sherman quickly gets an idea to get rid of the Rude Sherman and Penny.
Nice Sherman: Penny! I have an idea, but its rather blue.
Nice Penny: Oh. Well lets hear it anyway.
Nice Sherman begins to whisper something in Nice Penny's ear. Once the whispers were finished, Nice Penny smiles at Nice Sherman's idea.
Nice Penny: Oh my! Sherman! That is a sad idea. But it must be done.
Nice Sherman and Penny separate and go to separate places, while their rude selves continue to choke on each other. Nice Penny hides behind the Rude Removal System and Nice Sherman stands in front of it.
Nice Sherman: *in obvious voice* Oh no! I hope that they don't go into the Rude Removal System, where they could possibly duplicate themselves and they'll be a ton of rude fellows running around.
Rude Sherman and Penny: Yeah!
Both rude counterparts enter the same pod where they originated from, however, Nice Penny closes and locks the pod doors. Sherman activates the machines reversal sequence and both Nice Sherman and Penny get on the other pod.
Computer: Rude Removal reversal sequence, initiating.
Pink smoke surrounds Rude Sherman and Penny and makes the duo disappear as thw pink smoke returns to the pod with Nice Sherman and Penny inside.
Computer: Reversal sequence, complete.
Sherman and Penny, the only two left, walk out of thebpod and talk to each other, without their British accent.
Sherman: Phew! Glad that's over! No thanks to you!
Penny: Me? I'm not the one who built the stupid thing!
Sherman: So its Mr. Peabody's fault? Besides you did rudely push us in!
Penny! I'm not rude! You are!
Sherman: No! You!
Sherman and Penny leave the lab to go back to the kitchen, while Sherman and Penny continue to argue about who's the rude one between the two.
Sherman: For the last time! Its YOU who is rude, you big... uh oh!
Sherman and Penny stop to see Mr. Peabody in front of them, with a bar of soap in his hand.
Mr. Peabody: Now to clean those filthy mouths!
Sherman looks at the reader, breaking the fourth wall and says...
Sherman: Oh f***!
The End.
A/N: Well, wasn't THAT something! Anyways thank you for reading another entertaining story from me. I loved working on this one. It was super hilarious! Even if Sherman and Penny said bad words.
Anyways, because school is coming up, updates to all of my other fanfics will be slow but I'll try my best to bring you thr best my mind can offer.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the following:
"Dexter's Laboratory" is owned by Cartoon Network, Hanna-Barbera, and Cartoon Network Studios.
"Mr. Peabody and Sherman" is owned by 20th Century Fox and DreamWorks Animation.