I realise I ought not be starting a new story when I have so many in progress, but I never was any good at controlling myself was I? None of these drabbles are meant to be serious, so I hope you have a good laugh!

Cheers,

E

"Oh look, dear. We got an invitation to the Granger Family Reunion!" Hermione cooed, showing Draco Malfoy (her fiancé) the embossed gold invitation.

"You have a family?" Draco accepted the invitation and licked the lettering, muttering 'it's not even real gold' under his breath. "When did that happen?"

"A while ago, I'd assume," Hermione shrugged. "I get what you mean though. It's news to me as well. My family has been suspiciously absent for the most well documented 7 years of my life. Oh, would you stop licking the invitation?"

"It's how you tell if it's real," Draco defended, giving the paper one last good lick. "Real gold tastes different. I've eaten it before."

"Of course you have," Hermione rolled her eyes, taking back the invitation and checking yes+1.

"Wait a minute, we're going? You don't even know these people! They could make fun of you for your unmanageable hair, previously overly large teeth and bookish ways while your parents stand around and do nothing to defend you!"

"I think you're confusing my family with yourself," Hermione snorted.

"Well, are your parents going at least?" Malfoy sighed, taking the invitation back and inspecting it.

"I don't know. My parents are absent quite a bit. I think they're MI6, posing as dentists. It would explain why they remain suspiciously unnamed even in the most well documented accounts of my life. I too, occasionally make up names for them to fill the gap."

"I am a wizard and don't know what MI6 is," Draco stated proudly. Hermione chuckled and patted his cheek.

"Quite right. Any proper Brit knows that's not suspicious at all. You'd hold up well in interrogation."

"Only because I don't actually know any state secrets. Is this reunion going to be held in one of my hotels at least?"

"Draco, darling, you don't own any hotels, remember? Gringotts and the DMLE denied your request on the ground that it would break the Statute of Secrecy."

"I still don't understand why. 'Magic is Real' is a perfectly acceptable name for a hotel chain. I wasn't talking about real magic, only how magically wonderful our service would be," Draco pouted.

"Still, not a very good name though, is it? You're much better at making broomsticks and banking." Hermione acknowledged. Their foray into muggle business had not gone very well.

"Well, at any rate, are we going to go rub our wealth, beauty, and happiness into your family's face?"

"No! Who does that? We might have never met them before, but they're my family! I'll expect you to be perfectly polite!"

"I'm still not entirely certain your family exists, but I suppose I'll behave," Draco sighed, and Hermione smiled.

"Thank you, dear."

"Well, this is a horribly awkward affair. So many people haven't seen me since I was a baby. I must have been terribly popular back then. Do you know, Uncle Manfred went on for about twenty minutes about the time he had to change my nappy? To think, people I didn't even know existed have been up close and personal with what's in my knickers!"

"Well, you were cuter when you were a baby. Maybe they all left you when you grew that horrifying hair," Draco shrugged.

"It wouldn't be so bad if Scotland wasn't so humid," Hermione defended, smoothing a hand down her hair.

"Do you know, your Great Aunt pinched my bum?"

"That's a complement, I think," Hermione shrugged.

"Well, have you recognized anyone yet?"

"No, but I don't especially mind. The hors d'oeuvres are to die for. Apparently, since I knew how to pronounce bouillabaisse in my fourth year, that means I must have French connections. It explains m love of French food, at the least."

"I'd buy that," Draco nodded. "I think your Grandmother is French."

"Oh, you met my Grandmother? Who is she?"

"She's the woman in the corner, talking suspiciously into her wrist," Draco declared, and the two shared a glance.

"You know, the longer I sit here, the more inclined I am to believe that my entire family is a governmental secret, and that's why I never knew they existed," Hermione frowned.

"Seeing as Great Aunt Hattie just shot the sommelier, I am inclined to agree," Draco added uneasily. "Where did she say your parents were again?"

"On mission in Somalia. I thought she meant a religious mission, but now I am not so sure. Do you think the sommelier was Somalian? That's just fun to say. The Somalian sommelier."

"Quite."

"Would you like to leave? I find my family committing murder and covering up state secrets to be a touch uncomfortable to watch," Hermione admitted, and Draco frowned.

"But they haven't even served the pudding yet!" he protested, and Hermione agreed to stay.

Pudding was important, after all.