The Candy Cane Brigade

ONE

Jeff Hardy was a happy man. Then again, Christmas always made him happy. The lights. The festive decorations. Even the incredibly repetitive carols. Most of all, more than the presents and the amazing array of desserts, Jeff Hardy loved candy canes.

Not just the peppermint kind. Oh no! Jeff preferred variety. Cherry. Strawberry. Watermelon. Especially the rainbow-colored canes. A bright and cheerful treat that he often bought by the trunkload. Even as he strolled down the hallway, a candy cane dangled from his lips.

Engulfed in the spirit of giving, Jeff was a man on a mission. Deemed himself a specially delegated elf dispatched to spread his own brand of Christmas cheer. He would share his delightfully delicious candy canes. Handing them out to his friends so that they might share them with their loved ones. It did Jeff's heart good to give so selflessly. Made him all warm and tingly inside. Then again, that might have been the two cups of spiked eggnog flowing though his system.

With an extra bit of pep in his step, he nearly collided with Chris Jericho as he rounded the corner. Quick on his feet, Chris spun out of the way. He bounced off the far wall before coming to a stop beside Jeff.

"I've been drinking whiskey all evening and eaten about half a dozen candy canes." Smacking his lips, Jeff pulled the treat from his mouth. "What's your excuse?"

Chris looked at his associate like… Well, like he had foolishly mixed booze and large amounts of unrefined sugar. Typical Jeff Hardy behavior. Best not to ask too many questions. "Kinda in a hurry. Kane and I…" For a brief moment, his cheeks flushed. The Sexy Beast tripped over his own tongue. In a conspiratorial whisper, he said, "We have a date."

"That's great." Jeff mimicked the soft tone. "Why are we whispering?"

"Because…" Abruptly clearing his throat, Chris continued speaking at a normal volume. "Because we haven't been on a date before."

This did not compute. "You mean to tell me that you and Kane have been making the bed springs squeak for the last three months and this is your first date?"

Frowning severely, Chris nodded. "We've never had occasion before. Been too busy… well… getting busy. I'm not even sure what we're supposed to do."

Jeff blinked at his friend. This, too, did not make a lick of sense. As far as he knew, Chris was far from a blushing virgin. Granted, his face had turned a few shades redder since the beginning of their conversation. Sliding the candy between his lips, Jeff asked the obvious question. "So, this is your first date ever?"

Prowess called into question, Chris sputtered as he flapped his arms about. Reminding Jeff an awful lot of an agitated chicken. "I have dated a lot, Jeff Hardy. I've had a full social calendar since I was twelve years old! The captains of both the football and basketball teams still send me birthday cards!"

"Alright, already!" Rolling his eyes, Jeff continued to suck on his candy cane. "I get it! You've been on more dates than a Hollywood street walker. Still not seeing your problem."

"My problem…" Chris dropped down to a whisper again. "My problem is I don't know how to date Kane. He's not an ordinary guy, ya know." Chris anxiously rubbed the back of his neck. "What if I mess things up? Just between the two of use, he's the best I've ever had. The things that man can do with his hands…" Chris shivered at the memory. "Bottom line: I can't fuck this up."

Jeff nodded in understanding. "Then it's a good thing you came to me."

"I didn't actually."

Undaunted, Jeff forged ahead. "Has it occurred to you that maybe Kane wants to be treated like a normal person? Given his history, I doubt he's had a lot of ordinary experiences."

The entire family was far from ordinary. Jeff knew that better than anyone. Any aside from Chris, of course.

Problem seemingly solved, Chris graced the ingenious Jeff Hardy with a megawatt smile. He grinned wide. Jericho positively glowed. "Thanks, Jeff. I know just what to do."

As he turned to walk away, Jeff shoved a box of candy canes at him. He mirrored Chris' smile. "Take these."

"I don't really…"

"Trust me." Jeff shook the box vigorously. "These things will change your life!"

Realizing his friend was a brand of crazy he did not have time to deal with, Chris took the candy. "Umm… Thanks… See ya, Jeff."

Watching Chris walk away with a prized box of candy canes filled Jeff with satisfaction. He was a damn good elf. "One down, plenty more to go."