Leelee's Mom
Summary: 'Leelee's mom is hot.' Quoth Xander.
Rating: T for the perverseness in the song
Timeline: After Mystic Fate
Genre: Parody/Humor
Note: Of course I'm changing the parts in the song that are supposed to be 'Stacy' to 'Leelee'
It was a very quiet day at the Rock-Porium, and Xander found that having an excuse to leave—such as battling the evil monsters that once threatened Briarwood—was a privilege that was frequently taken for granted.
There were no customers, ergo no females to hit on or help him boost his ego with, and everyone else had seemed to disappear; off somewhere.
The music shuffler on Vida's turntable suddenly changed to a song he hadn't heard in quite a time. Xander began thinking of other lyrics to the song 'Stacy's Mom' by Fountains of Wayne; his thoughts going to Leelee's mom. He had said 'Leelee's mom is hot' that time.
He glanced around; there was no one else in his hearing range, so why not? Xander began to sing along with the song, only with a few altered words.
Leelee's mom has got it going on
Leelee's mom has got it going on
Leelee's mom has got it going on
Leelee's mom has got it going on
'It would really be funny to see how Leelee reacts if she heard this.' Xander thought. She might try to kill him, or have a breakdown at the fact that people think that her mom is hotter than she was.
Leelee, can I come over after scho-oo-oo-oo-ool?
(After School)
We can hang around by the p-p-p-poo-oo-oo-oo-ool
(Hang by the pool)
Did your mom get back from her business trip?
(Business trip)
Is she there, or is she trying to give me the sli-i-i-i-ip?
(Give me the slip)
At the next words, Xander laughed; that part of the song really always did make him laugh. Poor Stacy; so blind to the source of the boy's real attention.
You know, I'm not the little boy that I used to be
I'm all grown up now, baby can't you see?
Xander began to sing a bit louder; it was not like anyone would see this. Toby didn't have any security cameras installed in the Rock-Porium so no one would ever see this or hear this, for the matter.
Leelee's mom has got it going on
She's all I want and I've waited for so long
Leelee, can't you see?
You're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong but
I'm in love with Leelee's mom
At that moment, Xander struck the infamous melodramatic Shakespeare pose just for a bit of flair.
Leelee's mom has got it going on
Leelee's mom has got it going on
Xander began to jump around in circles.
Maybe it was because of the heat wave and the fact that no one else had come within a five feet radius of the Rock-Porium for some unknown reason, or just the fact that he thought that no one would ever see this, but whatever the reason it was, he was acting silly today.
Leelee, do you remember when I mowed your lawn?
(Mowed your lawn)
Your mom came out with just a towel o-o-o-o-on
(Towel on)
I could tell she liked me from the way she stared
(Way she stared)
And the way she said 'you missed a spot over the-e-e-e-ere
(Spot over there)
For the record, it was true that Leelee's mom, once called Necrolai, was hotter than her daughter. Her mom was better-looking and, though she was probably thinner than her daughter, had a more voluptuous silhouette,
And I know that you think it's just a fantasy
But since your dad walked out
Your mom could use a guy like me
Leelee's mom has got it going on
She's all I want and I've waited for so long
Leelee, can't you see?
You're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong, but
I'm in love with Leelee's mom
Guitar solo! No one was watching, so why not? Grabbing one of the air-inflated guitars resting as decoration, Xander began to pseudo-play the piece of rubber.
Leelee's mom has got it going on
(She's got it going on)
She's all I want and I've waited for so long
(Waited and waited)
A headbang to tousle the hair and add a little flair never hurt.
Leelee, can't you see?
You're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wron-on-on-ong
Yet it's seems so right…
But I'm in love with Leelee's mom
Oh-oh-oh-oh
I'm in love with Leelee's mom
Oh-oh-oh-oh
'Big finish!' Xander thought; running onto Vida's stand and jumping down from it; performing his version of a power slide.
Leelee, can't you see?
You're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong, but
I'm in love with Leelee's mom
Xander heard badly muffled bouts of laughter and turned to see…everyone and anyone he would never have wanted to be caught dead singing this song with so many altered words.
Nick, Vida, Madison, Chip, and even Daggeron were standing behind him; all of them trying hard not to burst out laughing, but on the verge of failing miserably. Leelee was next to them; her expression shocked and her eyes holding that 'my-mom-is-hotter-than-me?' expression of incredulousness. Leelee's mom, formerly called Necrolai, stared at him; not as shocked as her daughter, but speechless nonetheless.
"I'm…well…flattered." She said after regaining her voice. Phil just stared at Xander; he didn't seem angry though, he seemed…happy?
"Well, I'm glad that I had the chance to meet this so very in-demand lady before any others at this time had the chance to." He remarked.
Xander's gaze shifted to his fellow rangers; noting that they were still trying hard not to laugh.
"You can start laughing now." Xander said; knowing that this would help them get it out of their systems sooner.
You readers can too, if you haven't already.