O.O Shane Hunter O.O

Quote: Why am I here? I want to go back, back to where things were happier, and mother was still here. Who I am? No one really knows me, maybe it's about time I should open up and let them in.

Scene: Bishop, California

My name is Shane Hunter, a fifteen year old boy from England, don't ask where. As of now Father has made us move to Moscow just to follow his job. That was a day I wish I could forget but that is just impossible, or so I thought. I was about to turn twelve and we were planning to celebrate the next day, once we got off the plane. Mom was sitting at my right, Father sleeping at my left. I never could sleep on planes, excitement usually had something to do with it, but something about this trip was different. All I could remember was mother shielding me, waking up among flames and wreckage, passing out, and then waking up in the hospital. They said something had happened, but no one would tell me anything. My questions, being only twelve were, where's mommy? Then my father came in, and I asked the question again. 'Where's mommy?' I had to ask him again; but he still didn't answer, all he did was pick me up, and hold me, tears running down his face. I never understood why he acted like that, and to this day I still don't know. It took him sometime, but after awhile he told me that she was dead. 'No she can't be.' Had been my thoughts, along with the fact that she had promised to never leave and then she had. I didn't remember anything except seeing her dead body lying over my lap, blood pouring over onto my body. There was a bloody handprint on my cheek, from where mom's hand had touched to make sure I was okay. I wouldn't let them wash off, or so they told me, they had to strap me down and wash it off. After, her funeral, our family fell apart, my father had her buried in Bishop California when we moved to avoid all the problems in Moscow. I haven't started school yet, and I really don't want to. Father is hardly home anymore, and when he is, all he does yell at anyone and anything. Who really knew death could change your whole family especially when you don't remember what lead up to it.

3 Years later, after that journal entry was made.

Today was like any other day, going through school alone, only stopping to have an occasional conversation with a few friends, who weren't really my friends. Sitting in English listening to the teacher go on about Shakespeare, my mind starts to drift as I look out the window. I feel a hand on my shoulder, looking up I see my teacher staring at me. "Yes?" the words seem distant like I'm not really speaking, and if I am It's not really me, the voice doesn't seem like it is my own anymore. "I need your essay. I expect this one will be just as good as your last." I listen to her more intently, sensing the fear and concern that laced her voice, but there was something else behind it, and that was a sense of dread. I wanted to ask what was on her mind, but that was none of my business, plus she wouldn't talk to a kid like me, no one ever did, and well if they did it wasn't because they wanted to. "Fine…here…" Again the words that come from my mouth don't seem like mine, I never realized how empty my voice had become since she died. I just handed her my essay, staring at the words on the paper for a few minutes, then when the teacher walked away, I started to scribble on a piece of paper absentmindedly. 'What is wrong with me?' I kept asking myself why I couldn't remember anything, mother died, and nothing about that night was coming back to me. When the bell rang I headed for the door, only to be stopped by the teacher. She looked at me, a book in her hands. "Shane I have something for you. It helped me, maybe it can help you." She handed me the book she was holding, the book had a green cover with gold letters that spelled out The Bible. "Why are you giving this to me?" Every time I speak the words, they sound so broken and destroyed, why do I sound like that. "Just take it. He can help you. But you have to let him in first." The teacher went back to her desk starting to grade papers. I slipped the book into my bag slipping the one strap over my shoulder hissing as it tugged on a scar on my shoulder, which I still have no clue where it came from. "Goodbye…" I whispered as I left the classroom heading for the lunchroom, sitting down at the usual table in the corner working on my history essay which I hadn't finished last night because I fell asleep. I usually sat alone at lunch, so that really didn't make me feel any different. I kept trying to remember things from the night she was killed, my eyes start to burn. I let out a pained whimper, but no one hears, so I just go back to work, a headache starting to form. "Unh." I look up to see my friends walking towards me, as I slip the bible back into my backpack, wondering what they want, knowing that they aren't here to be friends with me. I don't want them to think I'm crazy, just because of a book that I don't even understand. Suddenly, they veer away, avoiding my eyes as they walk past. I didn't even know why, this was just like that night all over again. 'Whatever.' Was my only thought, they had finally gotten tired of me being around, so they just chose to leave. I stand up throwing my hardly touched lunch in the trash. 'Time for history.' I heard the bell ring, as I walked to my class, my homework done. I sat near the front in Mr. Montgomery's class, so no one would pay attention to me. Today was just like any other day, my mind began to wander to the book that was sitting in my bag, and it was calling out to me. "Mr. Hunter. Mr. Hunter." The teacher was trying to get my attention but I acted like I hadn't noticed, until he hit the table with his ruler. "What?" my voice sounded angry like I wanted people to stay away from me, like I wanted people to stop bugging me so I could live like I wanted, like any normal teenager would sound, but it was a tad different with me. "Mr. Hunter can you tell me why you are not paying attention in my class. I can understand for the rest of them, but you usually pay attention." The teacher was very nice if you listened and actually paid attention, but once you stopped paying attention, he was angry, he started yelling and you could not get out of that class without your ears ringing. "Sorry, just not feeling good." I muttered looking around, then back to the window knowing that everyone was looking at me, as the teacher walked away. My eyes are not speaking anything about me, so no one can understand me. He continues to lecture throughout the whole period, but not many kids seem to be listening, by this time, most people are tired, and just want to go home. As the bell rings, kids race out of the classroom ready to go home, since they had only five periods a day now, things were easier for most kids. I get up walking out of the classroom to a car that was waiting for me, as usual, the same time, and the same day, that car was always there. I climb into the car looking around at this pathetic school one last time. "I never want to go back." I groan sitting back in the front seat throwing my stuff in the back seat knowing that being an only child, no one else would be sitting there. The man in the seat driving was my father's brother, I could actually talk to him, and I stayed with him most of the time, or well he stayed at the house with me, since father was always gone. It was like he was my father, and the man who looked a lot like me, was just an annoying family member. "Are you so sure about that?" The man, whose name was Leif, just laughed, pulling out a small box that had paintings on it, that Leif had done on his own, in his spare time. This was something for me I was sure of it, cause it usually was. Leif opens the box, showing me a knife set that he had promised me he would get for me. I was my happiest when I was with Leif even if I didn't know why. "Let's drop your stuff off at home, and then go to eat." Leif pulled up by my house taking my stuff to the front door dropping it inside the door. He was looking at something as he vanished inside picking something up. I looked down at my hands sighing, thinking back to the book my teacher had given me. 'I wish I knew what it meant.' Those were the thoughts running through my head. I was too busy thinking to notice the truck that was driving down the street, its movements were erratic, and the driver was laughing, holding a beer in his hand. But I hadn't noticed, and Leif was just coming outside when he noticed, but he couldn't do anything. I turned to the window my eyes widening, as my scream was stuck in my throat, the car slamming into the side, knocking me into the window, blood splattering, as I felt glass cut into my head. I couldn't scream, I couldn't move, all I could I do was wait, until the blackness covered up my soul. When I opened my eyes, flames danced in front of my eyes, my arm wedged between the door and the seat, and my leg was bent at an awkward angle. My shirt was torn, blood dripping down onto my lap, but it wasn't all from my arm, some of it, was falling from my forehead. I felt light-headed, the heat getting worse, I could smell gasoline, and the fire was getting worse. I felt hands pull me from the car, noticing the fire burning the person's body; his hands were sliced open from pulling open the battered door to get me out. "Shane you need to look at me." His hands touched my face, as he wipes the blood from my eyes, I heard someone else speaking, and the words ambulance and accident were the only ones that reached my ears. I heard sirens, and felt someone else push Leif back, they began to touch my body to see if I had any broken bones, I felt the pain but it didn't seem to register. They said something about he's in shock, but I still couldn't make much sense of the situation. My eyes hurt, and everything was going black. I could feel all the blood underneath me, the pain getting worse, as I passed into oblivion, once again, for the second time in my life, death was so close, but yet so far away.

~. ~ The hospital~. ~

I felt someone touching my forehead, but I didn't know them at all. I moved a bit, only to find that my arm wasn't moving and my leg hurt. My eyes opened, well one of them did, the other one had a bandage over it, my arm was in a cast and my leg was covered so I couldn't see what was wrong with it. "Calm down." I heard a voice from my right, recognizing Leif's voice from the mingle of voices that were all around me. I wanted to sit up, but my body wasn't responding, so someone had to help me sit up. I winced when they touched me, but didn't say anything more. My head felt like it was going to burst, and there was slight amount of heat that I could feel on my skin. I looked to Leif, he had bandages on his arms, and his chest, and a few on his face, his skin underneath had to be badly burned because he dove right into the fire, not caring that it was burning him badly, to pull me out. He really did care, and it took me this long just to realize that. I sat up tears in my eyes, the pain from me sitting was getting a bit worse, but that didn't matter, I was just in an accident, so it was no surprise at all that I was in pain. My father wasn't there as usual, so I stopped looking for him, but then my cell phone rang, and when I looked at the number it was my father. Leif took the phone from me, and answered it. "Where are you? You're son was in an accident and you are no where to be found." I could tell my Leif's voice that he was angry, and he wasn't going to let my father worm his way out of this one. I could hear my father's voice on the other side of the phone line. "I'm not there because I'm getting remarried." Leif growled, walking out of the room, walking outside, so I wouldn't have to hear him yelling again. I couldn't believe what I had heard, the thoughts that ran through my head, were that I was going to get ignored all over again, and the woman he was getting married to wasn't going to allow me to see my father ever again. Or well my father wouldn't let me see him at all if his fiancée didn't want him to. I could feel the tears pricking my eyes, but all I could think about was the fact that I had to much going on, and now everything was falling apart, my mother was dead, and my father was off in a foreign country getting married. I was lied to all over again, my father had told me he was going on a business trip, and instead he had gone onto a hunting spree, looking for a new wife, and he had found one. 'Was mother that easy to replace?' I was always hiding what was wrong with me, and this was just another thing that I could hide. Leif walked back into the room, looking at me, noticing that I wasn't speaking, he was holding papers in his hand, and they were signed by my father. "Look at me Shane, you're father isn't coming back, he sent papers to me a few days ago, I knew he wasn't coming back. I'm sorry, but now you live with me." I didn't respond to it, but the shock that was deep inside my heart could be felt all around, it was causing there to be a certain amount of tension in the room, and I was sure that Leif could feel it, but Leif wouldn't have noticed that I was acting this way, because I felt abandoned. "Its fine this was going to happen eventually. I was never good enough for him." I whispered the last part, clutching my arm, the pain in my chest was worse then the pain anywhere else. "Can I go home?" I looked at my legs, the cut that was stitched on my leg, aching slightly but it soon began to fade. "Not yet, they need to keep you for a few days." I couldn't believe what had just happened and then I was going to be stuck in a hospital overnight, because of a few injuries, no one but my father knew how much I hated hospitals, well actually my father didn't really know either, and that was because he was hardly ever around, when it came to taking care of me, it was always Leif or the caretaker. "I don't want to stay here. Take me home." I didn't show that I was scared, I just tried to keep my composure and make it seem like I was stronger then I actually felt inside.