A/N: Hey, there! This is my first Kames fiction and I'm so glad I could start to publish it finally:) First of all you all have to know that I'm grateful for every minute of the time what you spend with reading this story and I'd appreciate some feedback because this is the first time I'm writing something like this...so you know, right?
To talk about the story I wanna tell you guys that at some point my writing can be confusing because it's kinda a -let's-jump-into-the-middle-of-the-things- thing and I'm gonna tell you guys later the previous things what had happened with the guys slowly how we are going forward with the plot. I hope it's okay for you guys.
The first chapter is mostly James central, the second one is going to be Kendall central, I hope that is also good for you guys. So nothing more to say, maybe one thing in advance: Big Time Rush is never gonna exist in this fiction...
Enjoy! :) and give me reviews please!
Chapter 1 – You can't deny the obvious
He just couldn't get over him. It was insane, unbearable that he had a crush on the other most popular guy in school. The other one, besides his self, and he was straight. He was all over into girls; it was obvious that he was not gay. He wished he only could change that.
Because there was James Diamond, deep inside he already knew that he liked guys too. He just knew it since he first caught himself staring at Kendall, the knight of his dreams as he later named him when his mind wandered on the blonde all over again.
It was the first day of their junior year and he was staring at him again, he imagined him in different situations, beginning with hand holding, cuddling, kissing, continuing it with making out in bed and a lot more other things what he didn't want to think again being scared that he would get a boner in the middle of the hallway of their school as he was watching Kendall Knight laughing hard in the company of his best friends and some bitchy girls who were around only to get more popularity.
Last time when they had seen each other it was in the hockey camp during their summer break. The camp had ended like two weeks ago, since then James hadn't gotten to see his Kendall and he had missed the view so fucking much.
James and Kendall were different and yet they had some things in common, it got crystal clear on the first week when James came to town half and a year ago and the two young teenagers met.
The biggest difference what made James a lot heart pain was the fact that there was no chance that Kendall was gay. And James even if he kept his sexuality in secret in front of everyone, except his best friend Logan, he was sure that he didn't care about girls that much since he was into Kendall.
The common in them was that they both were in the school's hockey team, they were the best players, they got along well on the ice because they knew that if they want to do their best they have to play as a team but anyway they weren't friends at all.
Both of them had lot friends, fake and a few true ones, actually every guy wanted to be like them and every girl wanted to get into their pants. There were even a few guys who openly admitted that they liked them.
James before he noticed he liked Kendall, he didn't even think of dating guys. Whenever a guy asked him if he had any chance he turned them down, saying he wasn't into those things but soon when he realized Kendall caused him some special thing he had never experienced if he looked at a guy, he would have loved to say yes to a few guys who were good looking or kind because he wanted to try the new thing out. But then he was scared then everyone would know how he was plus maybe he would lose his chance with the man of his dreams, with Kendall.
So he kept denying the any kind of offers for dates, with guys and girls too. He barely went out, he felt uncomfortable every time because he couldn't stop thinking of what it would feel like with Kendall, what Kendall would say if they watched a movie, what Kendall would think if they did something new together, Kendall was in his mind, he couldn't get rid of it.
He thought a few times when he was full of the feeling that he was so into a guy that he should just get over it and date again with girls so then maybe he would realize it wasn't serious at all what he felt for Kendall. But every time he made this decision he changed his mind within minutes. He knew that would be the thing what his mother taught him of to never do, he would deny himself, his own self what he loved.
Yes he loved himself. He loved how he looked like, he loved how he played, even he could sing a bit if he had a mood to do it and yeah he loved that too. And he loved the imaginary of Kendall kissing him, being on top of him and he would lie to himself if he denied that.
But on the other hand, he also loved that he was popular. He was scared if he took any steps towards Kendall or any other guys, he would loose that, so he kept his secret to himself, he loved it in his heart and he hoped that one day he can be fully his own self in front of everyone. He only needed someone who would show him what the most important was all the time, to be ourselves and to don't care about others' opinion.
"What are you thinking of buddy?" Logan snapped him out of his thoughts at his locker.
James turned his gaze off of Kendall who fortunately didn't notice him staring and said, "nothing, just I'm gonna have practice today and I'm tired already, it's morning and I want the day to end so I could go home and lay on bed".
"And imagining the blonde sucking you off"
"Yeah" James sighed not knowing for a moment that he said that out loud, "what? NO" he yelled at Logan and suddenly everyone was staring at them. James quickly gave a look towards Kendall and his buddies and he saw that they were looking at them too.
James swallowed and blushed a bit before dragging Logan out of the building, "told you a million times already that never say things like that".
James didn't want to tell Logan either that he was gay or mostly not that he liked Kendall way too much but Logan found it out.
Once, somewhere at the end of their sophomore year (so it was like 4 or 5 months ago) when James' mom was out of town because of some work stuff he and Logan decided to do a sleepover they hadn't had that in a while. They watched a few movies, midnight passed and soon they began to prepare for bed. As they settled down, both of them on the floor because Logan didn't want to take any of the beds saying it was not his home so James decided to share the floor with his best friend, Logan had began to talk about the following day's event when James and Kendall would have a hockey game.
"So are you excited about playing with him again?" Logan asked.
"With who?" James asked back and pulled the blanket over his body.
"You know, the Knight kid"
"Why would I be excited over him?"
"God James, why do you deny?"
"What?"
"That you like him?"
"I don't, shut up and sleep" James commanded but Logan was too curious in a while then and he didn't let it go. He was determined to find out the truth.
"Okay, then let's forget the Knight kid. But you have to have to admit you like guys"
"Shit, Logan, where do you think that? Wait, don't answer, just shut up, you're speaking of bullshit" James was anxious. It was only a few weeks ago when he noticed that he was too excited if Kendall was around, he was shaking and lost his control, he wanted him to be closer and do things to him, he wanted him to talk to him more if nothing else. And the fact that his best friend figured it so quickly that he liked guys terrified him.
What if others found out too?
He shook his head and wanted to fall into sleep but Logan kept pushing him.
"I just know it because I see you are checking out more guys than girls, but it's fine anyway. I don't mind, you're my friend" Logan said.
James sighed, "Logan, please".
Logan didn't give up and an idea lit up in his mind, "I'm going to do something what I'm going to regret but then I can prove you that you like guys too. You can choose, I show you it that way so you can realize if you still didn't do it or you simply admit it and I won't do anything" Logan threatened James but James had no idea what his friend was planning so he just shrugged again, "I do NOT like guys, forget it and sleep", James said and pushed his head into the pillow and turned his back to Logan.
"Okay so either you don't know it yet or you don't want to admit. I don't know why you're so scared when you know I'm your friend, the bestest and would never do anything against you if you admit, mainly that you know that I like guys too"
"Logan shut up" James murmured again.
"A minute and I will, I swear" Logan said and rolled over James so quickly that James didn't have time to realize what was going on. Before he knew Logan was on top of him and pushed him into the floor holding a tight grip on both of his wrists and sitting with his full weigh on his stomach.
"Dude, what the fuck?" James asked, but instead of answer he got Logan's mouth on his.
Logan always wanted to try it, to kiss a guy; because even if he already knew that he was gay he had never kissed any guys yet till then. It was the same with James but he would have never done something like this with his best friend, but since Logan was fully on his body he couldn't protest against it and they got deeper into the session.
It wasn't only a simple kiss, they both curled their tongues with one another and they both loved the feeling.
At a point Logan backed away and laid next to James then pulled the blanket over his body and tried to ignore the boner he just got by the heated kiss he shared with his best friend.
James was speechless and literally was shaking. He imagined it so many times already since those three weeks he figured he might was gay because of his fantasies about Kendall but he had never thought to kiss a guy could be this good, ever.
"How'd that feel?" Logan asked as they both were staring towards the ceiling even though none of them saw a thing because it was total darkness in the room.
James tried to find coherent words in the deepest corners of his mind to express how it did feel but with that he remembered the moments again when his tongue played along with Logan's and it got him excited again.
"How many minutes passed since then?" James asked.
Logan wondered for a few seconds, "maybe five?"
"I'm still hard because of that, what does that say?"
"That you're totally gay" Logan answered and turned on his other side so he was with his back to James, "I'm gonna prove the other thing at another time if you won't admit it soon, good night".
"Night" James turned away again and fell into a deep trail of thoughts.
If I ever said I might be gay, now I'm definitely saying that I'm gay. No doubt. Oh my god, Logan, you have no idea what you have started. Now I'm gonna imagine that Kendall is kissing me like this.
And he really did continued thinking for about a half hour and it didn't help him into sleep. Instead he was wide awake and for the first time since he realized he liked Kendall, he felt the urge to rush out to the bathroom and jack off on the picture in his mind as Kendall was giving him a mind blowing kiss as Logan did a few ago.
James got up quickly and went downstairs to be as far as it was possible from Logan; he didn't want him to hear if he moaned or whatsoever, shut the door and grabbed his hard member out of his pajama bottoms. He stroked himself first with slow then with fastening movements and let out loud groans and moans as his orgasm built up in his stomach. As he came he moaned out Kendall's name and let out a sigh in relief. He washed his hand and pulled up his pants, then walked back to the bedroom.
Then he fell into a deep sleep, dreamt of Kendall of course and he had no idea that Logan was wide awake as he self and heard him moaning Kendall's name through the entire house.
Since then Logan knew that James was into guys and also he knew that he liked Kendall but he had never told James where he knew it, he just had given him hints that he shouldn't have hid it because he had already knew.
"I'm sorry dude" Logan said as they reached out, "but I'm still so curious what the hell happened in the summer camp, you still didn't tell me".
"I told you already that I don't tell anything because there isn't something to tell, got it? Nothing"
"Okay whatever" Logan saw that he wouldn't be able to pull a word out of his friend, "anyway you didn't really look like listening to me whatever I said and I wanted you to hear clearly what I was about to tell you".
"Hah congrats, now I'm listening, what is this big thing you want me to hear no matter what?"
"I'm going on a date with Camille"
"Camille?" James raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, I know it's unbelievable but yet it's true"
"And how this happened?"
"Well, she was kind of pissed because some idiot stole her place in the park lot and I let her to park onto mine. She smiled and I smiled back and then she said I was cute and she would drink something with me if I took her somewhere on Friday"
"I still don't get why it does make you so excited when you don't like girls"
"Shh!" Logan punched James chest with his fist, "she asked me and if I deny her, the most popular girl at school then everyone would know that I'm gay".
"You trying to convince me to admit something what isn't even true and then here are you and you don't want people to know the truth of you"
"Yeah but you and me are not the same. I admitted you that I like guys because you're my best friend but I don't want others to know it yet. You don't even admit it to me that you like Kendall, so just shut up about that shit"
"Yeah okay sorry. But it's going to be rough if she is gonna like you and then you have to dump her. It will be worse" James pointed to the fact.
"Shit" Logan ran his fingers through his hair, "I will make sure that she won't like me"
"That's not a good idea again"
"Why?"
"Oh my god, who is the genius of the two of us?" James asked sarcastically, "then she is gonna spread the word that you're a looser".
"Then maybe I turn back to straight for her"
"Why you turned into gay at first place?"
"Carlos" Logan sighed and as the words left his mouth Kendall and his group walked out and there was Carlos, Kendall's best friend.
"Your Latino Romeo is here, look" James teased and ignored Kendall as much as he could.
"Yeah, just like yours, you ass"
"Shut up" James poked Logan's stomach.
"At least I don't deny that I like Carlos"
"Yeah you don't deny it in front of me but anyone else" James said again.
Logan just waved his hand, "Whatever, I'm your best friend; you should just admit that you're into this Kendall dick"
"Don't call him like that" James said as they went back to the school when it was only ten minutes left till their first class.
"Oh I don't know why I shouldn't call him like that. I'm pretty sure he has a dick and I'm also pretty sure you want to know how it tastes" Logan continued.
"Since when you are talking like that?"
"Since hormones?" Logan winked.
"I don't care what his thing is like and you should stop bugging me, okay?"
"Never" Logan laughed, "Till you won't admit it, you can't deny the obvious, Diamond" and with that his best friend left him on the hallway and made his way to his class. James turned on his heels and headed to his place.
As he walked through the hallway then turned in at a corner he bumped into someone, he stepped back and chuckled realizing who he was.
Kendall Knight, you always there where you shouldn't have. Fucking Logan made me think of things again.
James felt his cheeks getting red as his jeans got tighter the thought of tasting Kendall before and now when he was in front of him, the vision got more real and he felt like he would die there in shame.
His luck was that Kendall didn't give a fuck at James and walked away.
"Where were you?" Carlos asked when Kendall took his seat next to his best friend.
"What?" Kendall asked confused thinking of James.
"You said you would go out to the restroom, what took this long?"
"I took long because there were a lot guy in the restroom, I needed to wait" Kendall explained.
"Okay" Carlos said.
The class was about to start when the teacher came in. But it wasn't their teacher, it was some strange who was teaching an other class.
"Young men and ladies, I'm sorry but from now on the two junior classes are going to be united because there were a lot student leaving last year and you guys fit into one class" he said and with that motioned to the students in the door.
They flooded in and everyone stared at them. They weren't strangers of course; they were friends of each other so everyone found their place except James.
Oh fuck you stupid school. Why this class? Why just next to Kendall Knight? Why?
There was only one seat free behind Kendall and Carlos. Carlos immediately raised his hand up and waved to James, "James, come here".
James got his strength and took his seat. There was a sweet girl, Jo, sitting next to him. He had never talked to her because she was in Kendall's group but he assumed she could be a nice girl because she immediately smiled at him when he lowered on his chair.
"Hey"
"Hey" James said. He was nervous as hell. It wasn't his territory, it was Kendall's. Here everyone was Kendall's friend, didn't matter the class just came in was James', now that the two groups got mixed everyone seemed like leaning towards Kendall and his buddies instead of James.
James didn't mind it though. Sometimes he secretly wished he wouldn't be that famous so he shouldn't have done everything as perfect as people expected it from him, from James Diamond the great, sexy hockey player. Sometimes he only wanted to be a guy as every other guy, and then things would be easier. But on the other hand he loved that he was popular and he didn't want to lose it.
Carlos turned towards them too, "hi James. How are you doing?"
"I'm great thanks, you?" he asked. They sometimes talked after hockey practices when James tried get out of the locking room as soon as it was possible, so he had to spend less time around Kendall, and Carlos usually was there waiting for his friend, so they'd got to talk a few times.
"Thanks, same here. Excited for the first game in a week?"
"Yeah" James said awkwardly.
Kendall then suddenly joined, "what is it Diamond? Why are you acting so weird? You feel uncomfortable in my territory?"
"How I see our territories just got mixed. It isn't only yours anymore" James said straight against those green pair of gorgeous eyes.
"Whatever you say Diamond. I'm gonna keep an eye on you" Kendall pointed a finger at him.
James chuckled, "that's not your eye, that's your finger. You should learn some biology" James teased.
"You have started to get under my skin, you know? Watch out or my fist along with my fingers is going to meet with your pretty face". As Kendall spoke James secretly wished he would get under of Kendall's skin in some ways.
Carlos punched Kendall as he spoke, "what? Look at him and see what he is doing"
"What am I doing Knight?"
"You are fucking bugging me and flirting with my girlfriend" Kendall pointed at Jo.
"Kendall, I just said Hey, since then Carlos was talking and you started the entire thing anyway" Jo protested.
"Whatever, how I said, I will keep an eye on you Diamond" and with that Kendall turned back towards the teacher who was still settling some paperwork at his desk so the entire class was doing a quiet talk.
James wanted to think of Kendall's words for a second, his girlfriend? But Carlos kept talking and didn't let him to wander away, "Don't pay attention to him" Carlos said, "where is your friend, Logan?"
"Oh, he .. has never took this class, he is putting up more math instead, same credit and more fun to him" James laughed.
"Oh that's cool. I wish I would be that clever"
"Anything is possible" James said.
"Yeah. Don't you know he would be tutoring me if I ask?"
"Oh sure" James laughed, "I mean he loves to help, he will, I'm sure".
"Then are you going to ask him?"
"Nah, you can ask during next period, he is gonna be here with us, I guess" James answered.
"Oh, okay" Carlos said and then the teacher spoke up so everyone shut off their conversations and turned their looks at him.
The class ended within an hour and everyone stormed out to the hallway. James quickly said a goodbye to everyone, even to Kendall but he didn't pay attention to the brunette and then he also headed out.
Carlos and Kendall stayed there in all their own, "what are you doing with James?"
"I don't do anything Carlos" Kendall said when he shoved the last book into his backpack.
"Yeah, anything. You lied that you and Jo are a couple"
"She didn't protest" Kendall guarded himself.
"Yeah because she wants to sleep with you since she's known you"
"I might give her a chance then" Kendall shrugged and headed out.
Carlos didn't know where to put this kind of behaving, "you like the kid, right?", finally he asked when Kendall almost reached the door.
Kendall turned back to his friend, "Diamond? I just like to tease him, that's all", and with that he was out of the class.
Carlos rushed after him. He had a suspicion that Kendall might like James but he wasn't sure. He wasn't sure at all if it was about Kendall. Even though he was his best friend he hid his feelings could be about anybody, Kendall hated to talk about feelings and stuff like that, he thought that was too girly.
But Carlos knew better. He had caught Kendall a few times as he was following James every movement when the other boy didn't pay attention, Kendall was good at sneaking so James would never notice it but Carlos had good eyes for that.
Kendall and James didn't spend time together except it was practice or game but then Kendall kept staring at the brunette. More, once when James was extremely tired after a rough training he stayed for a longer time in the shower then he usually was and since Kendall hadn't came out then yet either, Carlos decided to go in and check what was going on. Everyone else left then already and he saw as he walked in that Kendall was standing in front of the mirror and stared deeply into it. Carlos could hear the water was still running from somewhere, and since the only one who he couldn't see leaving was James he knew it was James under the shower. The only reason that Kendall was staring so deeply into the mirror could be James. Carlos knew Kendall wasn't looking at himself, he never did that for that long, he knew he was good looking and for that reason he didn't spend much time with checking himself in the mirror.
Carlos saw as Kendall bit on his bottom lip and then his hand slid down to his cock which bulged underneath the white towel.
There was enough for Carlos to know that Kendall liked a lot what he was witnessing, whatever it was, and then he decided to disappear before Kendall would notice him.
It was a year ago. A half year after Kendall and James had met in a winter camp, and the following week as the camp ended James came into town, to the same school as Kendall and Carlos and also joined to the hockey team in the school.
At least for a year Kendall liked James and he didn't tell it to Carlos. Carlos everyday wondered if his best friend didn't trust him or he was ashamed or what but he never got to anywhere with the subject. He even thought that it was a random and one time thing. Eventually it was the beginning of their teenage years when they couldn't really control their hormones (not like they could in their 17th-s), so Carlos wasn't sure what to think. He knew it about himself that he often got hard all of a sudden and since Kendall didn't say a word to him he thought maybe he just misunderstood the situation.
But then how the weeks and months and now already a whole year had passed he was surer. Kendall liked James. Now he only should make him admit it or he should get to know if James liked him back.
He noticed that James had never stared Kendall, he was acting normal around any guys or girls, and he seemed straight as much as someone can look like a straight. But on the other hand, Kendall was the same. Kendall could perfectly cover his things in front of people he didn't want to see something, and Carlos thought maybe James had the same talent to do it.
However, he knew Kendall was acting weird and he only wanted him to trust him that much that he would finally admit the truth. Not only to his friend but to his own self too.
When Carlos caught up on Kendall he was already out in a ring of their 'friends'. He saw him with his back towards his eyes and then he noticed something which made him surprised. A pair of arms crossed around his neck, a pair of skinny, pale arms and blonde hair.
He did it, only to cover his feelings. Carlos thought as he closed the short distance and saw Jo kissing Kendall.
The bitch has just now gotten what she wanted and I helped her. Carlos wanted to curse in his anger. Maybe if he didn't bring the James thing up then Kendall wouldn't be doing that what he was, or maybe he would. Nobody knows now. Nobody knows, ever, if it's about Kendall Knight.
"Then he wanted to punch me" James was painting the situation just a few minutes before happened in the classroom between Kendall and him while he and Logan walked out of the building to catch some fresh air before their next period.
"And you?" Logan asked.
"I just shrugged it off" James answered.
"I bet he likes you too"
"Logan I don't think so. I'm here more than a year plus several months now and we are not even friends, we cannot even talk, see what happened there?"
"But it turned you on, didn't it?" Logan teased along.
"Logan, you should shut it off"
"I told you I won't, ever" Logan laughed as they headed towards a group of people who were gathering around Kendall and Jo as they were kissing.
Both Logan and James stopped with their walk and Logan watched his friend's expression but he couldn't read a thing.
Kendall wasn't single all the time, he had dated a few girls and James had learnt how to deal with situations like that. He knew better that he had to learn it otherwise people would know that he was into him.
So he just shrugged and looked at Logan, "so after Kendall and I finished with bugging each other for today, I figured that Carlos would need some tutoring. I guess he will ask you, be prepared to get to talk to your Romeo".
"Are you okay?" Logan ignored everything what James said about Carlos.
"Why I wouldn't be?"
"Kendall and Jo?" Logan motioned with his head towards the kissing teenagers.
James forced himself looking there again to stretch his limits and to keep up the picture that he had nothing for the blonde, "they look….nice" James said, "did you hear what I said?"
"They look nice, you said"
James laughed, "about Carlos"
"When we talked about him?" Logan asked confused.
"Whatever, you're gonna know it soon" James giggled.
"Yeah uh, okay but really are you okay with that?"
"What should I do huh?" James asked annoyed that Logan couldn't let it go so he could have calmed down and forget the two blonde sucking faces in front of his eyes.
"I don't know"
"Right, then let it go so I can be calmed" James turned away.
"See? It makes you anxious, you cover it really good but James, please admit it to me finally" Logan begged as he followed his best friend to the restroom.
The door shut and they were alone. James threw his backpack onto the floor and leant against a sink. Logan was staring at him, he felt now it's coming out, he saw and he was happy that his friend finally would say it but yet he was angry at himself because he noticed how hard it was for James and he wanted to take everything back so James wouldn't be suffering because he was this pushy.
"Look James, I'm sorry. Don't say anything you don't want. I'm fine with that. I don't want to see you hurt and actually you look hurt right now, because of me, because I did bring it up, sorry, forget it" Logan said.
James sighed, "You already know so it really doesn't matter and you're right, you're my best friend and I should have admitted it long ago but I couldn't. I didn't want anyone to know it so maybe it would go away after a time, but obviously it only has gotten worse, so now it's whatever and it's not your fault that I look like shit. I'm glad that we are alone here so I can look like this when I think of him, I don't have to act that I'm okay when I'm not. If you didn't push it, we wouldn't be here, I were out there and I made myself hurt more with trying to make everyone believe that I'm actually fine with them, that I'm straight and everything, you know. Sometimes it feels good to let myself feel bad and put down the mask, so I can be myself. I usually do it when I'm alone but I know I don't have to, you're here, you would be listening to me, you would understand me and everything. Thanks".
"Wow okay" Logan blinked not really knowing what to say. "I always wanted you to realize that you just should say it out and then we could talk about it, you don't have to act when you're with me, you can say that you don't joke when you say you want him to blow you, because you mean it and you can be upset if you want, I would listen to you. I felt like you don't want me to be a part of this thing and I didn't like it but I didn't want to make pain to you"
"You didn't do, that's what I'm saying. The pain is here and sometimes I need to feel it to know who I am indeed. You keep reminding me and that's good but I feel so fucked up, I shouldn't feel this for him"
"I'm gonna help you"
"In what?"
"Whatever you want me to help in" Logan stepped closer and placed a hand on James' shoulder.
"You remember that kiss?"
"I will never forget my first kiss with a guy" Logan laughed.
"First and only" James giggled.
"Yeah. Uh why did you ask?"
"I was just curious" James said.
"You want me to help you like that? I'd do it if you wanted"
"Nope. Maybe if you weren't into Carlos"
"Okay then. Wanna talk about him?"
"No, not now. We need to go back to class and he is in the same as we are from now on. I need to look normal again"
"Then later" Logan hugged his friend and they both picked up their stuff and left the restroom.
Now Logan officially knew James liked Kendall and it felt good that he finally reached James to be honest with him but yet he was still hurt because he felt like he only made James' situation harder. Before this day James could smile, James needed to smile and pretend he was okay always; he kind of took off his mind if he was with Logan, with his best friend. But now when Logan officially knew it was real and not only some stupid imagination of his weird brain, James wouldn't be able to cover his feelings in front of him anymore, he wouldn't be able to say that he was joking or he wouldn't deny it anymore. Logan knew that from now on James would think of Kendall even more, even when they would only hang out together by the two of them because he knows that Logan would listen to him if he felt like he needs to talk about his Kendall, and with that he probably would feel more pain and it was Logan's fault. At least Logan thought if this happened that way, it would be his fault.
I'm gonna help you though. No matter what, if I caused the problem with my stupid selfish –I-wanna-know-the-truth-since-we-are-best-friends- thing then I will find a way to make you feel better again.
