Ok...this is a...DISCLAIMER. I DO NOT OWN, OR IN ANYWAY, MADE HARRY POTTER. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO JK ROWLING. Thank you!
Zeferin: Hi, I'm Zeferin Raduias Azrael, but just call me Zeferin. Guess what...THIS IS MY FIRST FAN FICTION!!! YA!!!!!! AND IT'S A HARRY POTTER!!!! YA!!!!!!
Trazish: Shut up Zeferin! O, hello. My name is Trazish Razul Azrael, or just Trazish. I'm Zeferin's
other. This means that I a physical being of his personality. He's kind, funny, nice...more or less
the 'good' side. I'm cunny, cruel, evil...or just the 'bad' side.
Zeferin: Are you done yet? I think there here for the story, not our life story.
Trazish: Fine fine, lets get this on.
Zeferin: Finally, lets go. Here's chapter one.
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Chapter one
Deep in the heart of London, in a building which cannot be found, except for those who already know where it is. Now deep in the heart of that building is a room where things so evil, so vicious, so disturbing that they were locked away from anyone with magical power for these creatures attack all magical beings. These creatures may very well be the means in which the dark Lord may be be able to destroy Harry Potter. On the door the seperates these beasts from everyone else, in large red letters, is a sign. On it, it says, "WARNING! BEHIND THIS DOOR CONTAINS VERY DANGEROUS BEINGS------HARRY POTTER FANGIRLS. OPEN THIS, AND YOU WILL BE ANNOYED BY THEM TO POINT OF INSANITY BY THIER CONSTANT SCREAMING OF NONSENCE, GIGGLING, AND HUGGING. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Sincerely,
Your lovable Dark Lord."
Next to this door was another door where a trial was ending. This is where our real story begins.
The judge sat in the shadows behind his high podium. He collected his papers, looked at the defendant table and said in a dry, sinister voice, "May the defendant come forth."
From the defendant table stood a pale, black-and-greasy-shoulder-length haired, long hooked nosed man with the Dark Mark on his left forearm. He walked slowly to the podium, his black robe drooping behind him. As he stood still in front of it, the judge said, "Severus Snape, you have been charged with two accounts of treason, murder of a very important head figure, child abduction, making dark spells, tat-all telling about a secret that changed the world, wearing too much black, being a hard teacher, being very mean, having too much grease in your hair, stealing said grease from fast food restaurants, hating Harry Potter more than the average person, saying your name over and over again to the tick of a bomb, letting two students 'bother' you, threatening the former teacher Quirrell about some stupid stone, making almost all of your students cry at one time or another, and being an all around jerk. How do you plea?"
In his own dry, whinny voice, Snape answered, "Guilty."
There was a pause. The judge set his papers down. He lean forward out of the shadows and into the light. With his face now fully showing, Lord Voldemort peered down at Snape, his face expressionless. In a low voice, he spoke, "You plea guilty?... Uhm... then... YOU PASS! CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE BACK IN!!!!"
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After many bottles of high end Firewiskey and several trays of questionable chocolate cake-like treats that may or may not have had a herbal ingredient in them, Voldemort took Snape out of the room and down a hallway. At the end of the hall, Voldemort walked through a door the had 'STAIRS' written on it. Snape fallowed. As Snape fallowed, he realized that these weren't normal stairs... these flight of stairs were all colored neon green, hot pink, and bright purple with gushy pink bunny hand rails on the side and Whinny the Pooh wallpaper on the walls. Snape, though very disturbed by all this nice and fuzzy coloring and design, continued down the stairs. Some where around the 20th floor that they had gone down, Snape started to see that each floor had a different kind of door. He passed floors with one door, two doors, red doors, blue doors, one had a little star, one had a little car. Doors with scratches, doors that were shiny, doors from Japan, doors from Disney World. Some with the dark mark, and some with a penguin plushie. One had a picture of cheese on the front with a crazed looking girl with an empty jug of OJ looking at Snape through the window and seemed to be trying to get out to get Snape, while another had a the initials CD on it with a wild looking person in the window with silvery hair and a red dress suit munching on cookie dough while talking to a white rat...and in turn the rat was talking back. Well this went on for about another hour or so until the Dark Lord and Snape reached the bottom; Snape was huffing and puffing real bad while Voldemort seemed perfectly fine.
Snape looked around at this floor to see there was an elevator. It appeared to be fully operational and to go to the floor in which Snape and Voldemort started their very long descent. Snape looked at it for a whole minute. Then he turned back to the Dark Lord. "Sir...if I may ask...why did...you make us...walk all the way...down here...if we could...have taken...the elevator?" wheezed a very tired Snape. "Actually...couldn't we...have...Apparated?"
Voldemort turned around and looked at Snape strangely. "Well, I walked all the way for the fact that I personally enjoy the exercise. How do you think I keep my slim, snake-like figure? I don't do what that Oorochi guy does in Japan; always sticking that sword down with throat every time he he thinks he gained an ounce... Anyway, you could have Apparated or took the elevator if you wanted to. I just assumed you wanted to walk."
Snape passed out at these words. Voldemort stepped closer towards the now unconscious Snape. Voldemort bent at the knees to get closer to Snape's head. "Snape?" he whispered. "Snaaaaaaaaape?" he whispered again, this time poking Snape with his wand on the nose. Still nothing. Voldemort filled his lungs with a big breath. "SSSSSNNNNNAAAAAPPPPPPEEEE!!!". Snape was still out of it. Seeing this, Voldemort looked very slowly around him from left to right to make sure no one was looking. Seeing no one was, he yelled, "BOTHER!" and jumped on Snape over and over again. After a couple of minutes of that, Voldemort got up, tapped Snape one more time with his foot to see if he was still out, and walked away. "I guess I'll show him the rest of the new base later. I need to get to that meeting about that law-suit about our name..."
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Zeferin: Thank you all for read. Remember, this is my first fanfic, but I think that you enjoyed it.
Trazish: I bet you ticked off a lot of Snape lovers out there.
Zeferin: I hate to say this, but you're probably right (why do I feel I need to wash my mouth out with soap?). Ok ok...now if you are a 'Snape the Great' and not a 'Snape, Gotta Hate' kind of person, just wait, he'll regain consciousness soon...I hope. Well enjoy! My next chapter will be out soon.
Trazish: Got a name for it stupid or will be be lazy and just say 'Chapter 2'?
Zeferin: Ok smart guy, how do you like the name, "New Name?!"
Trazish: Not much.
Zeferin: Didn't think so.
(P.s. if you didn't like this one, please read chapter 2. Much better. Thankyou!)
