PETER THE PRE-PUBESCENT is co-authored by the amazing FANGEDLEAF. Go read her stuff. And mine too, while you're at it. Obviously, we own Harry Potter, seeing as we're the schizophrenic personalities of J.K. Rowling.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away…

"HELP!"

"Did you call, Peter? I may have heard something, but I'm not entirely certain…"

"HELP!"

"You know what, James? I think he might want something!"

"HELP!"

"Maybe we should offer him our assistance?"

"Peter, you rat, what's up?"

Peter blushed deeply. "I think Olga Jellosocks is pretty."

James and Sirius exchanged a significant glance. "Ah," mused Sirius.

Both boys burst into very emasculated giggles. They began a strange, warrior-like chant. "Peter has a crush, Peter has a crush, PETER HAS A CRUSH!"

"Guys!" whined Peter in a particularly high-pitched and pre-pubescent voice. "That's not funny!"

James and Sirius stopped abruptly, appearing to contemplate the wisdom of Peter's squeak. They glanced at one another, and immediately erupted with renewed mirth.

At this very moment in time, Remus and Lily entered the common room, carrying on a particularly pointless argument.

"I can not believe that I lost a point on that Transfiguration exam!"

"Well, you did change that pronoun in the Law of Gender Transformation…"

"It was just a pronoun! And—"

Remus and Lily halted in their tracks. James and Sirius were clutching their stomachs in silent peals of laughter, and Peter's face was approximately the color of Valentine's Day. Lily narrowed her eyes and carefully surveyed the situation. She sighed exasperatedly and put her hands on her hips.

"Who does Peter like?"

The boys froze, shocked.

"How did you guess?" asked an awed and horrified James.

"Woman's intuition." And on this grand note, she made a dignified egress.

"Girls are scary," commented Sirius.

A slow smile spread across Peter's face. "But not Olga."

James, Sirius, and Remus looked at the dreamy expression on Peter's face and exploded with even more laughter.

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