Disclaimer: I own absolutely positively nothing apart from the weird and insane plots.
Crazy Untold Star Wars Stories
A/N: This is going to be a series of one shot wacky stories that are responses to questions people ask me or I ask myself, and yes someone asked me this. I know they'll be silly, so, be wary. otherwise, enjoy!
Chapter 1: Arm-wrestling
Wacky question: What would happen if Yoda needed/wanted a chicken, and he asked Luke to arm wrestle a gorilla for one?
Yoda looked around his sparse hut. Very calm and austere it is, he mused, then sighed. Too quiet is Luke. Something or someone more active is needed. But what? Then Yoda had an epiphany. A pet! That it is, but what kind of pet? Hmmm dogs too big are, but maybe a flightless bird better would be. An ostrich? A penguin perhaps, hmmm…no, warm it is here, a chicken? Yes a chicken good would be, but where to get, where to get. Dooku Gorilla chickens has. Luke must him overcome.
"Luke, come here!" Luke came trotting, fresh from a run through the swamp.
"What is it, Master?"
"Get a chicken must you. Get it from Dooku Gorilla you will, mmm."
What's Yoda thinking? thought Luke, but he shook it off. "Ok Master, if you say so. How must I go about it, diplomacy? Jedi mind tricks?"
"No, arm-wrestle him you must, of jedi you will never be"
"Alright already, I'll go!" said Luke, a little frustrated, how do you arm-wrestle a gorilla? What kind of lesson is this supposed to teach me? unaware that at the same time, Yoda was behind him thinking, Sucker!
So Luke set off, and he soon reached Dooku Gorilla's place. He saw that Dooku had a chicken coop, and a table with chairs that were set at a suspiciously good height for arm-wrestling. He was about to call out when he felt himself being raised into the air and placed in one of the chairs. Dooku sat down in the one across from him, and when Luke tried to stammer something out, Dooku just grunted and stuck his arm on the table in a perfect arm-wrestler's position. A bit startled, Luke followed suit, and before he knew it, his arm was through the now splintered table and hurting like mad.
"HEY!" exclaimed Luke, but the gorilla was so caught up in his guffaw/snorting type laughter that he didn't notice. The gorilla got another table, and, getting the picture, Luke was the first one to put his other arm on the table. This time, using his innate strength, and more force use, he managed to beat the gorilla. Surprised, he got up and shouted, "OH YEAH!" and did a little victory dance.
Consigned, the gorilla lumbered to his feet and selected a chicken, and gave it to Luke, who frolicked back to Yoda, humming "We're off to see the wizard!"
"Mmm, back you are I see. And a chicken you bring, how considerate."
"If you say so, Master," responded Luke respectfully.
"Now, learn what did you?" asked Yoda, and while Luke launched into a long winded explanation of the powers of the force, Yoda thought to himself, Another day in the jungle it is, I wonder what dinner is…
A/N: Well, that's the first insane little plotline answer to a question. If any of you reading this have any wacko or otherquestions you'd like to see answered here, post them in a review, and I'll try to answer them in the form of a story-let. If you don't please please please review anyways, even if only to tell me that I'm out of my mind.
