Cartoon Mix-Ups 5: American Dad of the 31st Century

Part 1

December 31st, 2011 11:45 PM

Steve, Klaus, Stan, Francine and Roger were watching the news on TV.

Greg: 15 more minutes to the last year on Earth

Terri: That's right! This is the last year on the Mayan calendar. According to Wikipedia and other sources, the world is going to end on December 21st. (Plays 'It's the End of The World')

Steve: (Shocked) Oh my gosh! That's right, the world is going to end! I got to get started on my future dreams!

Stan: Relax son. The world isn't going to end. It's just what some idiots believe because of what the Mayans predicted years ago. Now the sun is about 4.5 billion years old, it lived half it's life. When it dies in another 5000 years or so, that when the world ends. You got nothing to worry about.

Steve: Dad, you can't tell the future, we got to prepare in case it does happen! We all saw that movie!

Stan: Steve, I assure you the world is not going to end. They said the same thing in 2000 and in May of this year and we're still here. I say this is a stupid thing to worry about.

Steve: But we still got to prepare for the unexpected!

Stan: (Sighs)

Klaus: (Gasps) The world's ending? My gosh, I got to turn human before it's too late. That will be my New Year's Resolution.

Roger: We all know that's not going to happen. Most New Year Resolutions don't come true, and yours certainly won't. Anyways, when you all die, I'll retreat back to my home planet. And no, you all can't come along because I hate you.

Stan: Guys! The world's not going to end and that's final and Roger, you got to like me, I saved your life!

Roger: Well yeah, but I can still not like you

Stan: I still say you should like me. Now, come on, someone must believe me!

Francine: I believe you.

Stan: Thanks honey.

Just then Hayley and Jeff walk in.

Roger: Where did you go?

Hayley: Jeff and I went to see New Year's Eve.

Klaus: Isn't that the movie that stars Zac Efron from those sucky High School Musical movies?

Hayley: Yes! And he also stared in Charlie St. Cloud, that remake of 17 Again and Hairspray, that upcoming Lorax movie and a bunch of other movies and shows.

Jeff: You missed it!

Roger: We don't care!

As Jeff and Hayley take off their coats, Francine changes the channel to Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve

Roger: 10 seconds to Earth's last year!

Stan: For the last time, the world is… oh, I give up.

Hayley and Jeff: 5

Steve: 4

Klaus: Drei

Roger: 2

Just then a portal opens up and sucks them all in.

Futurama theme plays with the American Dad characters

Subtitles: American Dad is in our world. ARM YOURSELVES!

Steve drives the spaceship

Steve: Woo-hoo! I don't know what just happened, but this is awesome!

Klaus and Roger are zooming in the tubes with other AD characters.

Klaus: Why are we in tubes?

Roger: I'm just as confused as you are fish.

Bullock passes them.

Bullock: Hi guys!

Spaceship crashes into TV with a Futurama cartoon

Stan: Steve, you could've killed us! You already killed that robot.

The Smith family land in New New York. Roger picks up a flopping Klaus and puts him in his bowl. He carries it.

Steve; Where are we Dad?

Stan: I don't know.

Hayley: Looks like a city.

Francine: Let's ask. (Approthes stranger) Excuse me kind sir, where are we?"

Stanger: You're in New New York (Stanger leaves. Family is puzzled.)

Francine: New New York?

Hayley: He must mean New York.

Steve: Whatever happened to old York?

Roger: Steve, there is no old York. That's like saying there's an Old Hampire, an Old Mexico and an Old Chicago.

Steve: There is an Old Chicago!

Roger: Well yeah, the restaurant, but not a state!

Haley: There's a city in England called York. And before it was called New York, it was called New Amsterdam. There's also a Hampshire, the country of Mexico, and as far as I know, there is no New Chicago, so why even use Chicago as an-

Roger: Whatever!

Jeff: I think we're lost.

Francine: Steve, call the police, see if they or they know anyone can get us a ride home. (Points to what she thinks is a phone booth.) There's a Phone Booth.

Steve: Will do Mom!

Francine gives Steve change for phone. Steve goes in a Suicide Booth

Suicide Booth Speaker: Choose your suicide method.

Steve: Well that's weird. Wonder what it means by that. (Puts coin in)

Suicide Booth Speaker: You chose to be flamethowered followed by having knives thrown at you.

Steve: (Surprised) What?

Steve ducks flamethrower and dodges knives. Turns doorknob

Steve: (Yelling) Get me out of this death trap! (Door opens. Escapes)

Suicide Booth Speaker: We hope you enjoyed your death!

Steve comes back. Hair now singed and has cuts all over.

Francine: What happened?

Steve: I don't think that was a phone booth. It tried to kill me.

Hayley: Never mind about that. Let's try a taxi.

Family calls for taxi. Taxi stops. They get in and it flies off. Taxi driver is a robot

Steve: Flying taxi and the driver's a robot?

Hayley sees more flying car. Also sees flying cars and flying trucks. Sees kids on flying bikes, flying scooters, and flying skateboards.

Steve: Cool! This is just like Back to the Future, Part 2!

Hayley looks out of window. She sees an ad for an Ipad 20.

Hayley: Ipad 20?

Jeff: What happened to the Ipad 3-19? Did we time travel?

Hayley: (Shrugs. Sits upright with Jeff.) Beats me. Let's ask the driver. Hey driver, what year is this?

Driver: It's the year 3000.

Family is confused.

Stan: 3000?

Driver: Yes, the start of the 31st century. Where have you guys been?

Stan: (to wife) Well at least we know 2012 isn't going to be the end of the world.

Steve: I feel like we're in an episode of The Twilight Zone.

(Car lands and stops)

Driver: Well, here we are.

Family gets out. Stan pays robot.

Stan: Thanks! Although as far as I'm aware, I didn't tell you where we wanted to be taken.

They all wave as robot drives off. They all look at Futurama house but Stan.

Francine: Um, Stan. I don't think that robot dropped us off at the right place. Stan looks with wife.

Steve: Now I know we are in The Twilight Zone.

Scary Door Narrator: You and your family just went into a portal to a strange and mysterious place. Phone booth trying to kill you? Taxis driven by robots? You see flying cars and bicycles? Realizing you somehow missed hearing of the Ipad 3-19? It's the year 3000 instead the beginning of 2012? You know you just entered The Scary Door (Scary Door music plays as Stan knocks on door.)

Stan: Hello? Hello? Is anyone home, hello?

Hayley: I don't think anyone's home Dad.

Door opens

Steve: The door's open. Family goes inside.

Francine: I don't think we should do this.

Hayley: Mom's right guys. We should leave. This isn't our house. We could get into trouble.

Steve: Relax Hayley. Where's your sense of adventure? This is a house in the 31st century! Family sees the TV.

Steve: Whoa mama, check out that TV! Runs to TV and turns it on. What appears to be the Simsons' is on.

Stan: The Simpsons' are still on?

Steve: No, no, The Simpsons' are dead; this is Lisa and Bart's grandchildren! Marty, Simon, Jasmine and Ruby! The picture is funny though.

Roger hands Steve glasses.

Roger: Here, maybe this will help. Steve puts them on and is shocked.

Steve: 7D, AKA Seven dimensional! Sweet!

Hayley: Steve, we got to go home! Jeff agrees with me, right Jeff? (Sees Jeff with a helmet on) Jeff!

Jeff: You got to try this babe; you are literally in the game!

Steve: (Hops off couch, takes off glasses.) Really? No way! Well, if Hayley won't try it, I will!

Steve puts on helmet and the boys transport into video game

Francine: Where'd they go?

Stan watching TV with Roger and Klaus on end table, all with glasses on. They are watching football

Roger: (Shrugs) Beats me!

Stan: Francine! The ball actually comes out of the screen and a football player comes out and gets it. I actually talked to number 87, Fredrick! You got to check it out!

Francine: Honey, we got to get home. We don't belong here.

Stan: Relax honey. Fredrick agrees with me. You worry too much. It will just be until we find a way back to our time.

Francine: I guess. (Sits on sofa and puts on glasses) Oooh, you're right! This is cool! It's like football is being played in the living room instead of just watching it on TV. I wonder if we can actually go in the TV and play.

Roger: We can! Want to?

Francine: Nah, maybe later. Let's just watch the game and savor every moment.

Hayley: Well, you guys enjoy this. I'm going to see if we can go home anytime soon. (Leaves house)

Fredrick just scored a touchdown on TV.

Stan, Roger and Francine jump up and cheer.

Stan: That's the way, Fredrick!

Klaus: Wunderbar!

Stan, Francine and Roger sit back down to see rest of game.

Roger: I'm going to celebrate with wine!

Goes to kitchen. Realizes there's no wine, only beers in cabinets.

Roger: What the? There are no wine bottles in here, just beer!

Stan: Just take the beer Roger, you'll get drunk either way.

Francine: No! Don't take anything Roger; this isn't our home.

Stan: What're you talking about honey? I mean sure this isn't our home but still! This isn't our TV and we're using it. That video game system isn't ours but Jeff and Steve are using it. You need to lighten up honey.

Francine: I guess (Hollers) Okay, take the beer Roger!

Roger comes back out with nothing, sits back on sofa between Stan and Francine

Roger: No, I'd rather have wine and if there's no wine, I'm not having anything. Seriously, what kind of people have beer but no wine?

Francine: Maybe tomorrow we can go home.

The next day, Roger sees Klaus in a Reverse Scuba Suit. He was outside his bowl.

Roger: What kind of contraption are you in, fish?

Klaus: A Reverse Scuba Suit

Roger: I can see that. Why are you in it?

Klaus: Francine bought it for me. It's specially designed for fish. Now I can breathe above water by the help of a bottle and I can walk on land with these metal legs. Isn't that so wunderbar? Unfortunately, I still don't have hands or arms but it's an improvement to that hamster ball.

Roger: How does the metal legs work? Fish don't have legs.

Klaus: I don't know but I don't care as long as I can live outside the fishbowl. I say danke to the inventor, Dr. Ogden Wernstrom. That man is a genius! He first designed this for his pet fish, Cinnamon.

Roger: Whatever, I'm going out.

Klaus: Can I go with you?

Roger: Why? You've been out before.

Klaus: I know, but not like this! You don't have to carry me.

Roger: Okay, don't lag behind. I have to be somewhere at nine.

Klaus: I won't. I have legs now.

Roger: Well, you still can lag behind.

Klaus: You have to be somewhere? We just arrived yesterday, how could you possibly have someplace to go?

Roger: It's a long story. I'll tell you on the way.

That evening, Stan comes home. He goes in kitchen where Francine was. A robot was making them dinner. Stan kisses Francine on the cheeks.

Francine: Where have you been?

Stan: Oh it was great Francine, I had breakfast with John F. Kennedy, went to the theater with Abe Lincoln, he didn't get shot this time, had lunch with the Founding Fathers and went bowling with Teddy Roosevelt. I also went to the bar with Ronald Regan.

Francine: How? They'll all dead.

Stan: Not in this world they're not. Apparently they froze all of their heads so now they're alive.

Francine: How did they move about?

Stan: They were in robots. They could move their arms and legs because it was voice activated. Oh Francine, you missed out! Stan then notices robot cooking dinner.

Stan: Why aren't you cooking dinner? You love cooking dinner.

Francine: I was going to, but then I saw this robot that was thrown out. I just had to take it home so I did. It has been so helpful around the house. Now we have time to do whatever we want, if you know what I mean.

Stan: Oooh, I do! I do know what you're thinking!

Stan and Francine go to living room. Francine sees Hayley on laptop.

Francine: Hayley? That's not yours. Notices Hayley is not responding. Snaps fingers. Hayley! (Hayley then goes back into reality. Looks at Mom.)

Hayley: Sorry Mom. I know I shouldn't be using what's not mine, but when Jeff showed me, I couldn't refuse. You can actually go inside the computer. Oh and I bought the Ipad 20, it's 7D, has unlimited songs and you can go inside it as well!

Steve and Jeff transport back from game. Take off helmets.

Francine: Have you boys been playing video games all day?

Steve: Except when one of us had to use the bathroom. Oh and don't worry, we stopped to eat food too. This place is awesome, I hope we never leave!

Francine: What?

Just then Klaus and Roger gets back.

Roger: (Excited) I just got elected governer for New New York!

Rest of family: What? (Mouths agape)